A/N: Once again, many many thanks to my good friend Kretolus, for his help with special guest star, Captain Anais Grom :D Also with all his advice and help with Star Trek related things! Check out his stories, he's awesome :D
Hope you enjoy this next chapter!
Lydana awoke to an unfamiliar medbay, her fatigued mind slowly catching back up to the events of the previous day.
She'd been brought aboard the Eternal, and taken straight to the medbay to be treated for malnutrition and exhaustion, and the chief medical officer had thankfully given her something to keep the nightmares at bay for one night.
She pushed herself to a sitting position, catching the attention of another medical officer who rushed over to her.
"Please, take it easy, Admiral," he said softly, keeping his hands up to catch the Bajoran if she fell. She waved him away, content to just sit up, feeling less tired but still emotionally raw.
"I'm okay, thank you," she said hoarsely, and before she could ask he had acquired a small cup of water for her.
She wanted nothing more than to drink the whole cup in one go, but she knew that could do more harm than good, so she sipped it carefully while she attempted to marshal her thoughts.
"Where...where is the captain?" she asked weakly, not looking at the officer – instead she took off her commbadge, staring down at the Starfleet insignia, running a thumb over it lightly.
"No doubt on the bridge, Admiral," he answered, taking the cup when she handed it back to him. "Shall I see if she is free?"
Lydana nodded silently, and the young man walked away to see to her request.
Lydana looked around, noticing a small cart loaded with medical instruments not far from her bed, and she reached over and pulled it closer. She set the commbadge next to the instruments, then reached up to her collar and took off her rank insignia, staring at them with a sense of regret before placing them on the tray as well.
"The Captain will be down shortly, Admiral," the medical officer told her, and she nodded sullenly.
"Thank you," she said a moment later, still not looking at him.
As she looked down at the symbols of her status – symbols that told of her skill, her achievements, and the Admiralty's faith in her, all at once – she felt an overwhelming sense of regret and shame. She had betrayed everything she once stood for, and not for the first time...but undoubtedly the last. She was disgusted by her actions, ashamed of her behaviour, and she slowly shed her uniform jacket as well, leaving that in a pile on the floor.
She gripped the edge of the bed, a swell of emotions and thoughts racing through her tortured mind, and she hung her head as she began to cry quietly.
A few moments later, the door to the medbay slid open, and Anais strode in. After one glance at Lydana, she gestured for the medical officer to leave as she made her way towards the Bajoran.
"I'm told you wanted to see me?" she said, her tone soothing, as she knelt down briefly to pick up Lydana's jacket, folding it quickly and hanging it over the handle of the cart,
"Sorry if I made a mess," Lydana sobbed, "I just...I don't feel like I deserve to wear that uniform anymore."
There was a moment of silence between the two women, and eventually Lydana scrubbed at her eyes, drying her tears and sniffing loudly.
"What...what's going to happen to me?"
Anais smiled sadly.
"I'm going to drop you off with Eilis back in your own timeline. She'll help you deal with your emotions. Then..." she paused briefly. "She'll take you to Earth, where I imagine you'll face a court martial."
She reached out, and gently placed a hand on the Bajoran's shoulder.
"How it goes, and what happens next, will be up to you."
Lydana gave a humourless chuckle, shaking her head in sorrow.
"Prophets...whaat must people think of me now? What must you think? I've ruined everything, and I deserve nothing else than to be dishonourably discharged."
"I don't think so." Anais shook her head. "You've been under a lot of pressure from the day you got your first command. The day you weren't exactly prepared for." She sat down on Lydana's bed, turning her head to face the Bajoran. "And the death of a loved one is never easy to deal with. I don't believe you're at fault here, Lydana." Her smile widened slightly. ""I know Eilis doesn't either. I think she mentioned something about preparing a defence for you, since you won't really have time for that." She nodded thoughtfully. "And I'll make sure that Temporal Investigations doesn't press charges, since technically you haven't done anything."
The Admiral stayed silent, stunned that people she didn't know would go so far to help her.
"Do you know who I admire the most?" she asked, seemingly apropos of nothing,and continued without waiting for a response. "Adnmiral Janeway. For as long as I can remember I've tried to be like her – strong, resourceful, compassionate, but a force to be reckoned with when things go wrong. She's my idol...but I doubt even she would have gone this far. I betrayed her legacy the moment I used my authority and skills for my own ends – ends that could have destroyed everything."
She sighed softly, and turned to meet Anais' eyes.
"Thank you, Captain. For saving me from myself...regardless of what I have to face now."
"Don't mention it," Anais said with a smile, and after thinking for a moment she leaned in slightly closer and lowered her voice. "And, you know, Janeway caused her fair share of temporal incidents. Seemed to have a real knack for it. A part of her career that's best not imitated, hmm?" She gave Lydana a wink, grinning broadly.
Despite the Captain's lighthearted nature, Lydana couldn't bring herself to smile back.
"I should get ready, I suppose," she said, her tone subdued. "Thank you again for all you've done. Will...will I see you again, after this?"
"Hopefully under better circumstances," Anais replied, patting Lydana's shoulder in a friendly gesture, before getting up. "We never know what the future holds." She smiled at Lydana again, hoping to see even a ghost of a reciprocation.
Lydana managed a weak, lopsided smile back, then scrubbed at her eyes again.
"I...I should get changed then. I expect I'll see you when we rendezvous with Eilis."
Anais nodded before bidding the Admiral farewell, and left her to her thoughts.