She pirouetted through the gate, made a graceful fouette between the graves, and did a Grand Jete over the lower gravestones back onto the path. Joy in every line and move of her body. Her skirts a minor hindrance, and only caused a small problem in landing from her Grand Jete leap. Enthusiasm gave her feet wings.

For once the sadness of this place did not get her down, she was too happy. Her dreams were coming true. Madame had said she had the gift, and now she would show her that she'd been right.

Lizzy McLaren did another graceful leap and sank onto the bench, hugging the small creased paper to her chest. It was her ticket to a world she'd only ever dreamed of.

A rustling caught her attention and her head shot around as she suddenly remembered where she was, and that another girl had lost her life in this very same place not two nights ago.

"Oh, 'tis you! I gave myself quite a scare there," she sighed in relief and patted the bench beside her.

Her eyes widened in realization of danger far too late to save her, and as her body bucked and fought for life, all the grace and beauty she had lived by died with her in a contorted travesty of twisted limbs.

"William. I've been looking all over for you." Julia caught up with him as he stepped into the street outside the precinct. Murdoch fought with himself for all of a second before manners won out and he turned and faced her, plastering a calm bland look on his face.

"I am sorry, I have been busy on field work," He tried to look at her, but all he could see was her skin flushed with passion, her eyes dazed. His hands itched to touch, and he ached with unfulfilled needs. It brought the simmering rage inside him to boiling.

Julia looked around, but no one was paying any attention to them, "I'd like to explain..." she began then took a shocked step back when his hand shot up halting her words.

"No explanations needed," he said, doffing his hat and turning away. Julia's hand on his arm froze him, and Murdoch grit his teeth.

Didn't she know better than to poke at an angry bear?

"William! You have to listen," She demanded a fair bit of anger in her voice. That got his attention and he swung on her, grasping her upper arms in a bruising grip. For once he did not care if the whole world could see them.

"I do not have to do a damn thing. You made your choice last night, now I beg you go back to work and leave me to do mine." He put her a step away from him, and let her go so abruptly she'd have fallen if he hadn't steadied her with a much gentler hand on her elbow. As soon as she found her balance he nodded to her, grabbed his bicycle and rode off.

William looked once over his shoulder as he turned a corner. Julia was still standing there rubbing her arm where he'd grabbed her. The guilt was fast and hard, and it wormed its way through the anger.

Even while he questioned the people that lived and worked around that graveyard, his mind kept going back to Julia. He was sure she would have bruises on her arms from his rough handling and it made him sick to think he could stoop so low.

"The hospital just called. Young Nader just tried to off himself by jumping off a bridge. He's in a coma and they think he's not going to wake from it." Brackenreid greeted him with that, and Murdoch felt a wave of sympathy. He knew what it was to have lost something so vital that carrying on seemed almost impossible.

The same something you've just pushed away so roughly.

It was late that evening that he found himself walking up the stairs to the Coroners office, guilt had driven him until he could think of nothing but making sure Julia was unharmed. She was not in her office so he went down the ramp. She was hunched over a test tube in the tiny laboratory corner of her mortuary. A few wayward curls had escaped her coiffeur, and his eyes were drawn to the soft ones at the nape of her neck. He'd nuzzled those, her scent strongest just there and it had driven him insane.

"Julia." He said softly so as not to startle her, he realized she did not have her usual music on and that was a sure indication to her state of mind. Julia looked up her expression as bland as he wished his could be.

"Detective."

A full body shot that, but then her aim had always been excellent. He turned the hat in his hand around and around, as if searching for the words he needed on the rim he was systematically destroying.

"I came to apologize," he said not looking at her, "I was rough with you today and..." words were so inadequate for his actions.

"I am unharmed Detective, you did not physically hurt me," she cut him off briskly, "please think nothing more on it."

"Nevertheless I should have shown more care," he sighed and straightened, "if your fiancé wants to defend your honor I will meet him at a place of his choosing."

Julia's spine snapped up and she rose from her chair and swung on him, gone was the bland expression on her face, she was furious. Gloriously, magnificently enraged, she struck him dumb. Her eyes burned and flared with emotion and her entire body trembled. William was so lost in the wonder of staring at her that the fist she landed on his chin and sent him stumbling back a good two steps was a completely unexpected shock.

"I do not need any man to fight my battles William Murdoch, those were your words. Have you forgotten already?" She snapped, then winced and cradled her hand. Murdoch was instantly by her side gently prying her hand loose he inspected it.

"I think you might have bruised it," he murmured as he maneuvered her to the washbowl and poured cool water over it.

"I have not, stop fussing!" She snapped trying to snatch her hand out of his, but he tightened his hold just enough to let her know he was not going to let this be.

He knew where she kept the ice and quickly fetched some, wrapped it in a towel and gently placed it on her knuckles.

"I don't know how men can call this a sport," she muttered "it hurts on both sides..." then she looked at him and sighed, "or not."

Murdoch smiled, "I'm trying to be strong and manly and not show that a woman nearly knocked me to the floor."

Julia snorted but said nothing. She let him lead her back to the chair and sat down, only when he moved to leave she grabbed his arm.

"I'm not engaged to Darcy any more." She said quietly.

Murdoch nodded all humor gone from his face, he leaned back against the table, "I know, I think I knew it when I left last night." He murmured. Julia looked confused; his words were not making sense with his actions.

"I don't understand why you are so angry?" She finally asked. Murdoch's head snapped up and there was a barely banked fire in his eyes.

"You don't understand?" He hissed the words at her as he leant closer to her, nearly nose to nose. Julia blinked and backed away as far as the chair would let her.

"You walked out on me to go to him while we were about to... " he waved his hand vaguely.

"Have sex? It's called sex Murdoch." She snapped.

"... make love." He finished. Her expression softened and she reached out a hand to cup his cheek, he pulled away.

"I'm sorry William, I really am, but I had to go to him. I owed him at least that."

That just enraged him more and he rose to walk away.

"William!" She called, and then instantly regretted it when he swung back on her so violently she nearly tumbled off her chair.

"You owed me far more than you ever owed him. You owed me the respect of not leaving me with my bits hanging out while you run off to mollycoddle another man. You owed me the decency of ending things between us before you ran off to get engaged to someone else. You owed me the kindness of giving me a chance to recover from dropping a bomb on me before running off to Buffalo, and most of all Julia you owed me the honesty of telling me about your past before a case forced it out of you." He roared at her so loud she felt sure the dead would hear him. In all the years she'd known him she had never seen him this angry.

"Will..."

He cut her off with a growl and she shut her mouth instantly. There was something feral and out of control about him and she was certainly not going to poke at him any more.

"You have put everyone's needs and wishes before mine when I am the first one you should be considering. You are an independent woman and I have always admired that about you, but you play fast and loose with my feelings and I am not going to tolerate it any more. It is obvious we can not share a friendship without emotions getting in our way, so I would suggest that we keep this strictly business from now on and that, unless it is absolutely necessary, all our dealing should be done through either Constable Crabtree or Chief Inspector Brackenreid." With that he grabbed his hat and walked out.

Julia sat there for a very long time not moving. She felt wounded and suddenly very afraid that if she moved even a millimeter the terrible pain that wracked her would worsen and she would fall to the floor writhing and screaming.

He'd been right and she had been so very stupid. She'd punished herself and him for falling in love, convinced that anything that felt so wonderful would make the universe jealous and the world would punish them. She'd cowardly sabotaged both their happiness to avoid some unknown future pain. But she also knew she was not alone in this, he carried as much blame as she did. If he'd just once let his anger out, just once let her know what his feelings were under that mask of control he wore, showed his hurt... then again how much had she opened up to him, wasn't that his point?

"Excuse me Doctor?" Henry moved down the ramp a wary expression on his face, she vaguely wondered what he saw on her face to make him so wary.

"Yes?"

"Pardon me ma'am there's another body."

While her entire being screeched in denial at having to face him again, she nodded and rose. Her body felt old and frail as if the last few minutes had aged her far beyond her years, and perhaps it had.

Murdoch was restless unable to think. The stricken expression on Julia's face haunted him. He hadn't meant to attack her like that, hadn't meant to wound her so badly, or to blame her for his own ability to get out of his head. Now as he stood over the body of another young woman, when his mind should be sharp and focused on catching the monster responsible and all he could think about was Julia.

"Another red head." Brackenreid said absently. Murdoch nodded, he'd already noted that both victims had been red heads.

"I believe the shade is auburn," George said informatively.

"Another one of your Aunts tell you that?" Brackenreid asked with a slight sneer. George shook his head and nodded towards Julia as she wove her way around the gravestones.

"Doctor Ogden has the same shade so I asked her."

Murdoch paid little attention to their talk, his eyes drinking her down as she moved towards them. She looked pale but strong, no red eyes from weeping, no sad longing or accusing looks in his direction. She nodded to him briskly as she knelt beside the body, but aside from that she did not acknowledge him in any way.

Julia did exactly as he'd demanded. She addressed all her observations to Brackenreid or George and ignored him so completely he felt compelled to make her notice him.

"The neck is broken?" He asked her, cursing himself for being an idiot. She'd already said it was.

"It seems exactly like the other two Detective. I can not be sure but I think there will be body parts missing on this one too," she informed him, still not meeting his eyes. Since she was still examining the body he should not have felt this overpowering need to make her look at him, but he did.

"Instead of asking Doctor Ogden to repeat herself yet again, I suggest you get on with doing what you do best. Find the killer!" Brackenreid snapped.

"May I take her now?" Julia asked Brackenreid. Murdoch nodded before he realized she was not asking him, which added another coal to the smoldering fire banked inside him.

He couldn't explain why he was so out of control, or why he could not find his calm center. No matter how hard he tried to force his mind back onto the one thing that had never let him down, his job, even that was becoming elusive.

For perhaps the first time he thought that it might have been better if she had stayed in Buffalo, and then he got a visual of her walking down the isle with Darcy and his head felt as if it would explode.

"I will need your report as soon as possible," he snapped as she rose to follow the stretcher. She nodded without even looking at him. Brackenreid and George glared at him disapprovingly, and he ignored them both.