Brittany's pov.
Hey Britt, I'm sorry about last night. Meet me for dinner tonight, where do you live? I'll come pick you up, make sure you're ready. I'll just come by whenever. Q x
I quickly typed up a reply for Quinn telling her where I lived and that it was all good. I got up from the sofa, and headed to my bedroom, being careful not to tread on any boxes lying on the floor. I rooted around looking for something to wear. I grabbed my towel and walked into the bathroom. I twiddled with the knobs of the shower and got inside. I savoured the warm water as they slid off my body. I closed my eyes and listened to the gentle tapping of the water around me. I almost felt like crying, I had missed 7 of Santana's birthdays and I didn't want to miss anymore. I wanted to hold her in my arms and tell her everything was going to be okay, I wanted her forgiveness and I didn't know how I was going to go about finding it.
I really had no plans on today aside from dinner tonight with Quinn so I kind of hovered around the house running over the possibilities of what I could do in my spare time. I wanted to keep my hands busy; I wanted to stop my mind touching on Santana because the more I thought about her, the more my need of seeing her grew. I ended up with just taking a walk to calm my nerves and to sort out my priorities and intentions. I needed to sort my life out, and I thought a walk might help me answer some questions that were sure to come out of Quinn's mouth tonight.
I found myself in town, and as I spotted the coffee shop I and Quinn had met in the previous day, I felt an urge to come inside. I felt like I was being drawn inside by some force and I couldn't not walk inside to inspect the situation.
So I did just that.
The sharp smell of bitter coffee and people hit me. I could distinguish the different smells and within those scents, I picked out one very familiar scent. I knew instantly what or rather who it smelled like, but I was frightened to find her there. I was frightened to see her when I had yet no intentions of meeting up with her because I was a coward, but I couldn't just walk in the shop and walk straight out without drawing attention to myself. And I already knew Santana could feel my presence in the room, and if I gave her one last push she'd know I was definitely in the room. So I decided to stick it out and order coffee. I didn't even like coffee; I didn't like the bitter sweet taste it left in my mouth after I had drunk it. I walked slowly up to the counter, knees slightly buckling before me. I was trying to look like a normal human being doing nothing suspicious in a coffee shop, but every single one of my muscles were tensed and I couldn't un-tense them, which was not helping me one tiny bit. I avoided looking around afraid of what I might have found inside. I noticed that the person was still waiting on my order while I was busy trying to calm my nerves. So I opened my mouth and let anything come out.
"Can I have a Latte please?" Crap, I just gave her the last push. I knew that she now knew I was in the shop, or at least she was about to find out.
It felt like every nerve, every muscle and every bone in my body was burning. I could feel 100 eyes trained on my back, as I walked out of the coffee shop gripping the cup of latte between my hands, though I knew it was only Santana's eyes on my back it felt like it was everyone's. I wanted to turn back and wrap her in a bone crushing hug but I wasn't sure where the line was, and I didn't want to cross it. So I decided to stick it out. I felt stupid just walking away with her trailing at my back, I didn't know what to do, so I just let the tears corner my eyes. I clutched my hands at my sides hoping that I wasn't showing too much weakness because I knew Santana and she could smell fear 100 miles away, and with me, I'm sure she could smell my fears a million miles away. We had grown so accustomed to each other that we could tell a lot just by feeling the air around us. I felt like I was an animal running away from my hunter, but I still had the biggest urge to turn back and just inspect this other hunter behind me, even if I knew that If I stopped, my hunter would be of success and gain ownership to me. That didn't sound too bad, when your hunter was as beautiful as Santana. So you could imagine the two sides of my body arguing each other for direction, I listened to neither one of them and let my feet walk on by carefully. It felt like it had been years we were walking now and I was desperate for someone to tell me what to do.
As If on cue she said "Brittany…" her voice was sweet, and frightened. I stopped in my tracks and turned slowly around with tears forming again on the corners of my eyes. I couldn't meet her eyes so I dragged my eyes up and down her small body. I wanted to smile, I wanted to hold her but I couldn't because I still wasn't brave enough. She opened her mouth and I could tell that she could tell I was frightened. She offered me a steady "Hey…" to calm my nerves. I wanted to be polite, I wanted to prove her wrong and show her I wasn't scared, even If I was. And then It hit me, she could see the dampness around my eyes, and she could see my lonely iris staring at her. I felt my body sink into the ground as I realised that she could tell I wasn't healed. I didn't want her to know because I didn't want her to feel bad for not chasing after me, though knowing her she probably tried. I was such a coward for running away and I felt so guilty. That was probably why I couldn't stare down at her brown Irises and into her soul because I was too guilty. I was glad she was here nonetheless.
My body was solely running on adrenaline as I stood here fronted with Santana, I had dreamt about this situation time and time again. I had dreamt about the different ways this could end and I was frightened that this was going to end badly. I had wanted this opportunity a hundred times before but now, as my wish had been granted, I started to doubt my wishes because I knew how much I hurt Santana and by turning up here like this, unannounced, I was sure I was sending a hundred daggers her way.
I'm sorry this took forever, please give me some feedback, I'm running on my own thoughts and it sucks :(