Hey guys!

So here is the 4th chapter of the story, I do enjoy writing and I love any comments you have to make on it so please let me know your thoughts.

Hope you enjoy :)

Sam was freezing and in massive amounts of pain. It was like being back in the cage expect his tormentors wore friendly faces, green and blue eyes mocked him as they cut deeper into his skin.

'Sam, you really think I wanted to fix everyone of your mess's? It's always me who has to pick up the pieces when you screw up!'

'You think yourself worthy to be in the presence of an angel? You are like a virus, you corrupt and destroy and pretend to do it all for the greater good'

With every comment they would cut a deep line through his chest and black blood would pour out. Dean would more yell at him and Castiel would say everything just quiet enough that Sam could still hear him.

Every time Sam tried to scream or talk he found himself choking on blood and Dean and Cas would just laugh...

'Sam! C'mon it's just a nightmare you gotta snap out of it'

He peeled his eyes open slowly and saw Dean bent over him and Cas on right. He scrambled backwards to get away from them, he couldn't take any more pain

'Please! Stop, I'm sorry I'm so sorry...' he trailed off and moved so he was against the headboard of his bed and his legs were close to his face.

'Sam it's me Dean. I'm not going to hurt you' he moved forward but stopped when he saw Sam flinch.

'Dean? Cas?' What Dean said before came back to him, a nightmare of course thats what it was Dean and Cas would never hurt him and what they said before was when they were under some weird witch spell. Part of him relaxed and he slowly lowered his legs and looked up to meet Deans eyes which were of course filled with nothing but concern, Cas looked worried as well standing awkwardly by the bed looking like he wanted to help but didn't know how to. Large amounts of guilt washed over him as he realised that he must have woken Dean up and certainly scared Cas.

'I'm sorry I woke you up Dean and probably freaked you out a bit Cas. It was just a nightmare I'm fine'

Dean did not look so sure, infact he'd seen Sam wake up from plenty of nightmares but he'd never reacted like that; being so scared of him and Cas and apologising over and over. He was about to push further when Cas spoke up

'Sam, your wellbeing is our priority. You don't have to apologise for waking Dean up or bothering me, we'd both rather make sure your ok. Are you ok Sam?'

No he could still feel the places that had been cut open and he was sure that if he cut himself now black blood would pool out

'I'm ok Cas, really it was just a nightmare.' he still refused to meet Castiel's eye, but at least he was no longer scared of him. Dean was now on top of the bed, providing physical comfort like he had when he'd gone insane with Lucifer except this time it wasn't helping nearly as much.

'You should rest Sam, I could put you to sleep if you'd like? it would be nightmare free' Cas offered raising two fingers.

'No its ok, really' he emphasised. Dean didn't like his answer but understood, it felt weird being put to sleep that instantly and almost a little violating. Sam however would've actually enjoyed being put to sleep knowing that the nightmare would be dispersed but some small part of him stuck from the dream and the thought of Cas turning his lights out made him a little queasy.

'ok then, goodnight Sammy' Sam smiled at that, Dean always the big brother. Yeah he's stuck with you, having to fix your every mistake. He just ignored the thought and turned onto his side and pulled the cover up, Cas walked over to turn off the light.

'Goodnight Dean.'

'Night Sam.'

...

The next couple of days went by without much action, somebody being killed by a hacksaw really just turned out to be a work accident and they actually were enjoying being on the road for a little bit. The only thing that changed was Sam's behaviour, he would refuse to look Cas or Dean in the the eye and gone were any jokes he made at their expense, he slouched when he walked, he made excuses to be alone and he even avoided mirrors, Sam seemed... ashamed of himself. Dean of course noticed all of this and was trying to figure out why Sam was acting strangely when Cas got into the impala. Sam was interviewing witnesses in what might be a case and Castiel and Dean where searching the sight of a car crash for any supernatural signs

'I highly doubt there's anything wrong here, I couldn't sense any signs of a poltergeist and there were no traces of sulphur.'

'Well lets go back and see if Sam pulled up anything, I'm dying for a burger anyway I haven't eaten since 10' Dean turned on the engine and did a U-turn to head back towards town. Halfway back there Dean's thoughts again turned towards Sam

'Hey Cas have you noticed anything weird with Sam?'

Castiel had now turned to face to Dean eyes squinting just a little,

'Yes but it is not uncommon for either of you to seem a little burdened, after all you two have lived ... intense lives.'

'Yeah but i dunno this seems different. Like take now for example he volunteered to go interview the witnesses jumping at the chance to be alone.'

'Dean perhaps he needs a little space from you and I. We did say things that Sam would've taken to heart.'

'You think this is about that spell? you know, your probably your right. Maybe Sam just needs a little solitude'

...

Sam himself knew something was wrong, it wasn't just nightmares anymore. Sam was finding it hard to concentrate on anything because of the thoughts that kept flitting across his mind,

Kevin's death was on you. How much have Castiel and Dean sacrificed for you? Dean literally went to hell and Castiel took away your memories from the cage causing him to go insane and what have you ever done in return than make a mess of things.

Sam had theses thoughts already but he had mostly learned to accept them and knew they weren't the truth. Now however it was increasingly hard to keep his mind of them and images of everything he'd done wrong would surface, it was like someone had brought all his most negative thoughts and made them the centre spotlight in his mind.

'Thank you very much Mr. Welch, I'm sorry for all that you've been through' Sam smiled at the witness he had just questioned and left the small shabby house. He really hadn't been listening to much and it didn't seemed Mr. Welch wouldn't reveal very much, after all he'd pretty much blacked out at the time his wife was taken probably due to a concussion from the car crash.

He walked back to the motel they were staying in and washed his face in the small sink; He needed a refresher and the water helped the tiniest bit. When he stood back up he was faced with himself in the mirror, lately he tried to avoid seeing himself as it would just make his thoughts worse and now when he saw his reflection it was hard to keep them at bay.

Freak

Monster

Abomination

unclean

They grew louder and louder in Sam's head and he all he wanted was for them to go away, he couldn't look at himself anymore and he swung his first straight into the centre of the mirror shattering it completely. Sweet silence was in his head now, pain has always brought him back to reality and looking at his bleeding hand he realised that was what helped him this time as well. The silence actually let him think straight for the first time in a while and he began to wonder what was affecting him like this, a revelation hit him, he had killed the witch but had he killed the spell? maybe the part of it that caused Cas and Dean to go crazy but what if there was more to it than that? he looked down at the floor around him covered in mirror shards and small droplets of blood and bent down to clean it up, how was he gonna explain this?