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Chapter 4

It was still dark out when my eyes opened. I had never been more thankful than when Ivy stopped waking me up every hour and let me rest. My head felt better, my body ached, but I felt rested. I slowly removed the pain amulet from my chest, sucking in air as I tried to bear the pain.

"You can do this, Rachel," I muttered to myself as I struggled to sit up. I hadn't looked in a mirror in forever. I hated to think about what I must look like. I slowly let my head fall to one side, then the other. Stretching my neck muscles felt deliriously good, yet painful at the same time. I looked around and realized I was finally alone, an attempt to clean myself up was in order.

I slowly swung my legs around, allowing my feet to hit the floor. I smiled briefly realizing that my feet were likely the only thing that didn't hurt on my body. I ignored the headache that began to worsen, and knew that the worst part of my injuries would be a tie between my ribs and my ego.

I lifted my arm to rub my head, my eyes catching sight of the silver bracelet that hung on my wrist. I kept telling myself I could live with it, it simply meant going back in time to before I realized just how powerful I could be. I had learned a great deal of black magic, my aura covered in smut to prove it, and my greatest fear was losing myself to it. Ivy's words echoed in my head daily, that I was leaving her and Jenks behind, the two people that I loved the most. The bracelet may have stunted my progression, but it allowed things to go back to normal around here, whatever that meant.

"You're not leaving me, I'm leaving you." Ivy's words ran though my head once more and before I could stop my reaction I quickly muttered, "No you're not" as if she was standing there having the conversation with me all over again.

I stood, shaky on my feet, but gaining my bearings as I placed my hand on the wall to help me walk toward the bathroom. I took small, baby steps and grew more confident with each movement I made. I finally stood at the threshold of my bathroom, almost afraid to turn the light on. But, better late than never, I flicked it on and let my eyes adjust to the blinding light.

"Ugh that's bright." I squinted as I shuffled myself onto the cold tile. I approached the sink, running warm water as I dared to look in the mirror. "Turn it!" I allowed my fingers to brush the large bruise that decorated my cheek, the hint of swelling still present. "You had to kick me in the face didn't you?" I removed my tank top and noticed the bruises all along my midsection. I had expected to see those, knowing my ribs were broken. I began to resent the hint of silver that dangled on my wrist. "If you weren't there I would have handled them myself."

My ego was just as bruised as my body and I struggled out of my underwear thankful for the convenience of the toilet nearby. I sat down, catching my breath before turning the shower on hot.

I stepped into the hot water, instantly feeling better. My tight muscles began to give way to the pounding of the water from the massage showerhead I had installed last summer. I allowed my head to fall forward, to give the water access to the back of my neck where my muscles seemed tightest.

"This feels so good," I moaned as I washed away some remnants of the dried blood that had been on my skin. At least I could feel civilized after the shower. I couldn't fix my ribs or my bruised cheek, but my hair would be combed and I'd smell like myself once more. I scrubbed my skin as best I could.

My hair was a different story. Almost unable to lift my arms, it called for some interesting accommodations to be made to wash my hair. One side was better than the other and so, utilizing one good arm, I clenched my teeth as I extended it to wash my hair the best I could.

This is harder than I thought. I closed my eyes letting the soap rinse out. "Oh to only be able to do a spell…." I cut that thinking off right then, to do a spell would mean to lose the bracelet, the only thing keeping me in my home with my family and not being dragged all around as the only living demon that could walk in the sun this side of the lines. I was Rachel Morgan, the most powerful demon yet, with no fear other than the obvious….. losing myself and my family to the changes that would occur if some people, or demons, knew I was alive.

I shut the water off, stepping out of the shower and thankful once more for the close proximity of everything in the small bathroom. If this were Ivy's bathroom, the walk from one side to the other just to get a towel would have worn me out.

I toweled off, grabbing a comb and running it through my tangled hair. It was still wet, but fell almost exactly in place, as it would be if I dried it, so I smiled at what I considered a success. I walked out of the bathroom, slightly quicker than I had gotten there, and pulled out my favorite pair of Levis, complete with a hole in the back pocket and knee. They felt amazing on my skin, tight enough to accent my curves, but loose enough to be comfortable. I had lost weight, the waistband luckily stopping as it fell to my hips. I wondered how long I had been sleeping.

To complete my look I grabbed the first shirt that I could lay my hands on, which happened to be my Takata security shirt, which seemed odd now that I knew I would be nobody's first choice for security. If I couldn't take care of myself, I couldn't take care of someone else for sure. Instead of being an asset, I was now a liability; something that just bruised my ego worse than anything the Weres had done to my body. I left my feet bare as I worked my way to the bedroom door, opening it slowly, and being greeted by the smell of freshly brewed coffee.

"That smells good," I mumbled as I closed my eyes and made my way down the hallway. I could tell when I got to the end that Ivy had become aware of my scent, turning in shock to see me standing there.

"Rachel." I watched as Ivy quickly crossed the room with her damn vampire speed and it took everything I had not to fall down when she suddenly appeared in front of me, hands on my hips to support me. "What are you doing up?"

"Too much," I sputtered as Ivy's closeness overwhelmed me. What in the Turn is going on? I had to place my hand on the wall as the slight hum in my head became overwhelming and felt like it was spreading all over my body.

"What?"

"It's too much." I placed a hand on her shoulder to lessen the pain of my confession, but she flinched all the same. To Ivy's credit, she stood perfectly still so I could gather my bearings before she backed up. "I'm sorry, I don't know what happened. It was all just too much for a moment, I've never felt anything like that before."

"Are you ok?" Ivy's presence was now soothing, her concern evident as her eyes roamed my body. "How did you…"

"I needed a shower badly," I smiled as I worked my way past her and into the kitchen to sit.

"Your ribs aren't wrapped." Ivy's statement just confirmed what I had already known, even behind my back she was assessing my body and the difficulty I had walking to the table. "They need to remain wrapped, Rachel."

I eased into a chair, watching Ivy's movements from the corner of my eye. Ivy allowed her eyes to travel the length of my body. At first, it was to simply assure that I in fact should be up and walking. Her eyes roamed to each place where she knew I had sustained an injury. I noticed Ivy's eyes wander past my injuries, hesitating on my hips as my jeans seemed to suddenly fascinate her. I turned to look at her straight on and noticed the black of her eyes growing. A quick intake of breath from me seemed to snap her out of it and she turned away, blushing slightly.

"I should make you something to eat," Ivy quickly dashed to the refrigerator, again taking me by surprise with her speed and grace.

"I'm fine," I assured her, smiling as I stole Ivy's steaming mug of coffee, thankful for the heat that warmed my body as I sipped it. It was a small triumph but I smiled as I held the mug to my lips, pleased with myself that I had taken her cup of coffee. She turned to look at me and I expected a scolding to stealing the coffee. Instead her look conveyed just pathetic she seemed to think I was. "Please don't look at me that way." I was surprised when my voice came out as barely a whisper; I felt so much conviction when I said it. I knew Ivy heard me though, with her superior hearing and just overall vampire coolness.

"How am I looking at you?" Ivy asked, swallowing the lump in her throat as her eyes focused on the bruise on my cheek.

"Like you pity me," I spat back, slightly angry at the changed dimension between us. I was once an equal to Ivy in my own right. She was right when we traveled across the United States, I was kicking ass and taking names to keep everyone safe. In my own way, I was becoming more powerful than even her Master Vampire and that made me dangerous to a lot of people. I could handle the consequences of such power, but not her pity at my lack of ability to use it.

"I don't pity you, Rachel."

"A lot has changed," I acknowledged it aloud more for myself than for Ivy. "We have to adjust, that's all."

"It was a run gone bad," Ivy tried to soothe my fears and ego. "We've all had them."

"A run that was targeted at me." I got up from the table as fast as I could given the limitations of my injuries. "I'll adjust."

"I'm here to help."

"I know." I sighed as I focused on my bare feet to avoid her eyes. "But I have to learn to take care of myself."

Ivy's gaze focused on the door before I even heard the knock. She sighed, and I watched her hair fall perfectly back in place after she raked her slender fingers through it. She gracefully opened the door, smiling and stepping aside to allow our visitor to enter.

"You're up?" I smiled and offered a small wave of hello to David. He looked between Ivy and I, keenly aware of the disruption he caused. "I didn't know you'd be up."

"You can come over anytime." I slowly made my way to the couch and sat down, biting my lower lip as I stubbornly placed one foot on the coffee table and then the other over the top of it. "What brings you by?"

"Ivy asked me…" I frowned when David looked at Ivy, as if asking for permission to talk to me about my attack.

"Who attacked me, David?"

"I don't know him," he replied. I patted the sofa next to me so my friend would take a hint and sit down. I did owe David a lot; I could just feel the tally adding up, lopsided in my favor. "I was just coming over to update Ivy on what I could find out. But since you're up too…"

"I think she'll agree that I can hear what happened to me." I filled in the blanks for David ignoring the sharpness of my tone.

"The Alpha skipped town already. The other two look worse than you do, Rachel, that's how I easily found them. Neither of them knew who their Alpha talked to, but whoever it was has a lot of connections to get an Alpha to abandon their pack and take off. They gave me his name." David handed Ivy a manila folder with a picture and a name inside. I saw the recognition flash in her eyes. Her eyes instantly began to turn black, and I saw her focus to beat down her instincts, forcing the black color to leave her eyes in favor of her usual brown color. "I'll keep trying to track him down, but so far he's disappeared completely from the face of the Earth."

"Good, I hope he burns in the ever after then," I said folding my arms over my chest pouting.

"I'm going to go." David got up to leave and I instantly felt badly for not being more welcoming. We had been through a lot together, but I needed to finish the conversation with Ivy. I watched her walk David to the door, thanking him for his help and promising to be in touch. They were working together, a vampire and a Were, to provide me safety and I felt left out of my own life.

"Can I see the folder?" There was a hint of demand in my voice. I held my hand out waiting for Ivy to place the folder in my hand. "At least let me see who this bastard is."

"I'll find him."

"We'll find him." I wanted to take care of myself. "You can't expect me to sit on the sidelines when it comes to my own wellbeing."

"I expect you to allow someone to take care of you for once," Ivy practically growled at me and I felt my own temper rising. "This isn't a joke, Rachel, there's a lot going on here that we don't know about."

"Don't you think I know that?" I practically screamed at her but that didn't stop me. No, I was Rachel Morgan. I practically waved a red flag in front of her face to provoke the argument further. "But this is my life, Ivy…" I suddenly sucked in as much air as I could get after losing my breath.

As Ivy walked closer to me, to help me, the hum that had overwhelmed me when I first came in contact with Ivy in the kitchen suddenly began to take over once more. Voices echoed in my head, nothing that I could make out, but loud enough to take over my own thoughts.

"Ivy…"

I blinked quickly to try to focus on Ivy as she approached me, kneeling in front of me as I struggled to catch my breath. When her hand reached out and touched my arm, it felt like my entire body began to buzz. When I placed my hand on Ivy's to try to pry it off my skin, the buzz stopped, becoming a peaceful hum and the voices stopped shouting in my head.

"Rache?" I could hear the concern in Ivy's voice as she watched my face cloud over between confusion and relief.

"Take your hand off."

As Ivy removed her hand, the voices began again. I quickly reached out and grabbed onto her, taking her by surprise. Much to Ivy's credit, she stayed perfectly still, despite me wrapping my arms around her body in a tight embrace. It was the only way I felt peace.