Chapter Four: The Winchester Walks at Midnight
Castiel went home that night feeling at peace with the world. Dean had offered to walk him home, but Castiel denied it. He didn't want Sam to walk all the way home by himself. No matter how independent he claimed to be. Balthazar walked with him instead.
The whole way home Balthazar attempted to pester the 'good stuff' out of Castiel. He wanted to know exactly what happened between him and Dean, but Castiel always answered with "Nothing happened." which was only partly true.
But Balthazar persisted. He said something about how Cas better not have kissed Dean, or else he just might ship him back to Illinois. Castiel just laughed.
When he arrived home he waved goodbye to Balthazar and hopped up the porch air felt different now. Cleaner maybe. The atmosphere, and the universe just felt so right. Like everything made sense now.
Castiel twisted the doorknob on the door and stepped inside to find his family all spinning around to look at him.
"There he is!" Samandriel pointed, practically bouncing on his heels. "There he is! There he is!"
"Castiel!" Chuck gasped, running towards him and pulling him into a bone crushing hug, "Oh, Castiel, thank God!"
"I told you he was fine!" Gabriel shouted from the back of the room, "I told you."
"Shut up, Gabe." snapped Lucifer.
"Castiel, you idiot! Why didn't you take your phone!" Micheal shouted over his brothers, "We were worried sick about you!"
"We didn't know where you were for four hours!" said Lucifer.
"Don't scare us like that ever again!" said Anna.
"I-" Castiel stammered, his eyes wheeling around the room from his brothers and sisters faces. "I...I'm sorry. I was out with Balthazar. I told Gabriel where I was going before I left...Am I in trouble, Dad?"
Chuck pushed Castiel away so he could look at his face. Castiels gut twisted slightly when he saw his fathers face. It was pale, and his eyes looked red. He felt so selfish, and guilty for making his family go through this. Though he had told Gabriel where he was going, Micheal was right he should have brought his phone along with him. He was just so used to not using his cellphone at all that he left it in his room out of habit. He was always with his family, and he didn't have any friends, why would he need it?
"No, you're not in trouble, Castiel." Chuck sighed, smiling tirelessly.
"Why were you all so worried about me?" Castiel asked the room, "Gabriel told you I was out with Balthazar."
"No he didn't. You didn't tell him who you were with." Hissed Micheal. "You also didn't mention you were going to be out for four hours."
"Oh...I'm sorry. I-I didn't realize how late it was...I'm really sorry, Dad."
"I know you are," Chuck combed his fingers through his sons dark hair, "it's all right, Castiel. I don't want to discourage you to go out and play with your new friends, but next time bring your phone so we can get a hold of you. All right?"
Castiel nodded, and promised, "I will."
"Good. Are you hungry, sprout?"
"No. Dean took me out to lunch."
"Who's Dean?"
"You know, you met him yesterday. He's Balthazars friend. He took me out to lunch."
"Oh," Chuck raised his eyebrows, "how nice of him. Did you have fun?"
"Yes," Castiel couldn't help but smile, "I'm making lots of new friends here, Dad."
"I'm glad."
"May I go up to my room now? I think I got sunburned, and I'm quite tired from all that walking around we did."
"Sure, you can."
Castiel quickly scampered up to his bedroom, the voices of his siblings followed him.
"He was hanging out with Dean Winchester?" Anna scoffed under her breath.
"Whats wrong with him?" Asked Chuck, "is that someone he shouldn't be hanging out with?"
"I dunno, Dad," Micheal added, "Raphael said that that kid gets in a lot of trouble. He's not someone I could picture Castiel being friends with."
"Yeah," said Lucifer, "Raph said that last year the kids dad left him at a school for boys for about two months. He was caught stealing, and when they called his dad to come pick him up his dad told them to just keep him. Kids got some problems. More than we do."
Castiel was listening with his ear pressed to the door, frowning. They weren't being fair. Dean wasn't here to justify himself. Maybe Raphael was just spreading rumors that he had heard around school without any kind of actual proof for it. How dare they talk about his new friend. They didn't know anything about Dean. Lucifer and Gabriel had bad friends too. What was so different about his own?
"I dunno," said Chuck, "I don't think it seems like its a problem. Dean seems like a good kid so far. He's nice to Castiel, and he's his friend. If he gets Castiel into doing bad things then it'll be a problem, but right now let's just let them be friends. He doesn't have many friends, and it's good for him to go out finally. He's sixteen he should be out with his friends during summer."
"What about me?" Anna whined, "I'm stuck here with you guys! I wanted to go to South Carolina with my friends!"
"That's different. Make some friends here, and you can hang out with them."
Anna just made an annoyed grunty noise.
So, Castiel wasn't allowed to do 'bad things' with Dean? If his father found out that Cas was smoking, or drinking, or even pranking with Dean then he wouldn't be allowed to hang out with him? How...intoxicating.
Now Castiel knew what he had to do. He was going to have to be sneaky. He was going to be able to do all of these things with Dean.
He just wasn't going to get caught.
He smiled to himself.
The next morning he woke to Samandriel jumping on his bed.
"Wake up, Castiel! Wake up, and get ready! Aunt Rachel and Uncle Joshua are going to be here soon!"
"Get off me, Samandriel," Castiel groaned, swatting at his little brothers legs, "let me sleep for five more minutes..."
Samandriel then plopped down onto his stomach across Castiels back, moving some pieces of unruly black hair to whisper in his ear, "Balthazar said he'd bring Sam and De-ean." He said as though it were a bribe. As though knew Castiels feelings for Dean were way more than just platonic. But of course he didn't. He just knew Dean was Castiels friend, and that if Castiel were to get out of bed for anyone it was going to be for his friends.
His suspicions were proven correct when his brothers blue eyes popped open, and he turned to look over his shoulder at Samandriel. "Is he really bringing them?"
Samandriel nodded. "I talked to him on Daddys phone. He told me to tell you."
Castiel flashed a grin, and pushed Samandriel off him to hop out of bed. "What time are they getting here?" He asked, throwing on some clothes he pulled out of his suitcase.
"I dunno," Said Samandriel, holding himself up with his hands on Castiels bed, "they just said soon. They don't live very far."
Castiel practically ignored his brother. Dean could be getting here any minute now, and he needed to make himself look presentable. He ran into the bathroom door with his shoulder to open it, but ended up bouncing off of it because it had been locked. He pounded on the door with his fist, "Hurry up!"
"I just got in here!" Gabriel shouted back, "Come back later, squirt!"
"Are you doing your hair?"
"So what if I am?"
"That's going to take hours!"
"Hey! If you have a problem with my personal grooming techniques, you can just use the bathroom downstairs, Colombo!"
Without a retort to Gabriel, Castiel hurried downstairs to the second bathroom. It was also locked. He pounded on the door. Lucifer stepped out of it on the second knock, "You're not gonna want to go in there for a while, kid." He warned.
Castiel rolled his eyes and groaned, running upstairs to pester Gabriel some more. "Lucifer just came out of that one!"
Gabriel laughed behind the door.
"It's not funny,Gabe! I have to get ready too!"
"Hey, it's not my fault that you're such a fricken night owl. You want the bathroom to yourself, you gotta get up early! C'mon, Castiel, we've lived together for sixteen years you shoulda learned this by now!"
"Please, Gabriel? I'll just be two minutes I swear."
"Why do you need to use the bathroom so bad? You never brush your hair anyway! Why bother?"
"C'mon, Gabriel, just let me in. I need to brush my teeth."
"Oh! Well in that case-no."
"Gabriel!"
Two loud knocks sounded from downstairs. Castiels heart jumped at the same beat.
He could hear his father shuffling to the front of the house to open the door. Aunt Rachel's voice sang through the house like a happy canary.
"Gabriel c'mon! They're already here!" He hissed.
"Balthazar?" Gabriel poked his head out of the door and listened for the familiar English accent tinkling through the air. He then darted out of the bathroom, and down the staircase. Finally the bathroom was free. Castiel hurried inside and combed his hair. His hair always refused to stay flat, but the least he could do was make it look a bit presentable. He then ran the cold water under the facet and brushed his teeth.
His heart twitched a little in his chest when he heard the already familiar gruff voice of Dean asking, "Where's, Cas?"
"I sent Samandriel to wake him," explained Chuck, "he's probably getting ready. He'll be down in a few."
Castiel spit and clinked his toothbrush back into the holder, washing off his face with a washcloth, and then hurrying downstairs.
Sam saw him first.
"Hi, Cas!" He greeted.
"Hello, Sam. How's Bones?"
"He's good. I haven't introduced him to Dad yet, 'cause he hasn't been home. But he's good. Dean let me feed him some of the sausages he made this morning for breakfast."
"How kind of him."
"Hey-ya, Cas," Dean smiled.
"Hello, Dean."
Dean was about to make his way over to Castiel and say something, but was interrupted by three blonde haired tricksters. Lucifer, Gabriel, and Balthazar all surrounded Castiel in the beat of a second. "Is this your new friend, Cassie?" Lucifer asked, placing his elbow on top of his hair, messing up what Castiel had worked so hard on to look tidy, "the one who bought you lunch?"
"Yes." Said Castiel in a small voice.
"Ahhh," Said Lucifer and Gabriel together.
Sensing trouble yet again, Balthazar swooped in to Castiels aid. Though he was still holding the air of a trickster. He took Castiel by the shoulders and out of Lucifers grasp, sticking him next to Deans side. He then sat back with his hand cupping his chin as though they were a painting in a museum and he was trying to decipher it.
"Adorable aren't they?" He cooed, "cuter than any of your friends, Luce."
Lucifer grumbled. "Aw, shut it, Balthazar."
"Only joking. Geesh. I had no idea you were so touchy touchy when it came to your friends. Would it make you forgive me if I said they were cute? 'cause that boy Crowley was quite a charmer."
"Cut it out, Balthazar. I'm not a homo."
Balthazar reached up and pinched Lucifers cheek hard, grinning tightly, "Awwww," he said sarcastically, "what a shame. You're such a catch, too."
Lucifer swatted him away, his eyes suddenly ablaze. His temper was ticking, and Castiel knew this as a sign of getting away as soon as possible.
He shifted closer to Dean.
He met Gabriels gaze across from him. They both had the same expression on their faces. They had lived long enough to know the exact outcome of something like this. Once Lucifer was angry it was difficult to calm him down. They didn't want him to blow up in front of guests.
Gabriels brown eyes flashed as he looked from one brother to the other. As though waiting for one of them to speak. Castiel wasn't going to be the one to step up that was for sure.
It wasn't until Samandriel bounded forward that the tension in the air was finally broken. The eight year old trotted over and instantly swarmed to Dean like a magnet to metal. It was almost like no one else in the room was around.
He tugged on Deans shirt. "You wanna come play with me?" He asked, "I have monopoly, and Hungry, Hungry, Hippos."
"Well,uh," Dean glanced quickly over to Castiel, then back to Samandriel as the younger one added,
"If you don't like those games I'm sure we have more!"
"Well, of course I'll play with you, Samandriel. Heh. But, is it all right for Sam, and Cas to come too?"
"Sure!" Samandriel beamed, "Of course they can! Balthy can come too if he wants. Wanna play Balthazar?"
"Meh," He shrugged, "Why not?"
"Come on!" Samandriel pulled on Deans arm, dragging him up the stairs to the bedroom where Cas and his brothers slept. Castiel, Sam, and Balthazar followed the two. The tension between Lucifer and Balthazar fading away with each step up the stairs.
Castiel heard Gabriel mumble something to their brother about playing video games with Raphael.
As soon as they arrived to the bedroom Samandriel let Dean free of his grasp and stood on top of his bed to reach up to the cabinet that held all their dusty board games that had been bought too many summers ago to remember. He first pulled out Monopoly, and let it fall onto his bed. Then out came Hungry, Hungry, Hippos, and Mouse Trap, and also Twister.
"What do you wanna play first?" Samandriel asked.
"How about Twister?" Balthazar bent down to pick up the box, and then held it up to present to the room. He gave a suggestive glance towards Castiel, "Remember when we would play this? It was always your favorite game, Cassie."
Castiel frowned at his cousin, unsure of what exactly he was playing at. "I remember."
"Yeah, lets play Twister!" Samandriel bounced off the bed and snatched the white box from Balthazars grasp. He began to open the contents onto the floor before anyone else could supply their insight on the matter. He set the spinning board aside, and brought out the white tarp. Sam helped him with getting it spread out onto the carpet. Balthazar, Dean, and Castiel moved some things around so they could have room to play. Once it was all set up, Samandriel hopped to his feet and went to swipe the spinning board. He waved it around in the air. "Who wants to be the spinner?"
"I will!" Balthazar volunteered imminently. He took the board from Samandriel and sat down on Gabriels bed, criss crossing his legs. "Shall we go youngest to oldest, or oldest to youngest?" He asked.
"Youngest!" Samandriel exclaimed.
"Righto." Balthazar clicked his tongue, flicking the black arrow with his forefinger and his thumb so it spun wildly around the wheel,"Samandriel, you have right foot red."
Samandriel giggled, stomping his foot down on the red circle.
"Right foot, Sammy." Castiel whispered.
"Oh!" Samandriel switched his feet.
"Sam, you have right hand green...Castiel left foot blue...Dean left foot red ."
Dean stood behind Castiel. Balthazar called for Cas to have right hand yellow, so he bent down to press his right hand on the yellow circle. Dean had right foot red. Castiel had left hand yellow. Dean was now looking down at Castiels ass; only an airspace away from his crotch. Castiel was slightly oblivious to this until he heard Balthazar say, "Anything wrong, Dean?"
Castiel tried to peer over his shoulder at his friend above him. His face seemed to be twisted in a glare at Balthazar and his ears were turning slightly pink.
Samandriel and Sam turned to look up at Dean with innocent, confused expressions as to why Dean may be upset.
"Nothings wrong." Dean said.
"Lets carry on then," Balthazar grinned wickedly in a way that Castiel felt like he was up to something he shouldn't be. "Sam, left foot green. Castiel, left foot blue. Dean right hand blue."
"Aw, c'mon, Zar!" Dean shouted, "you're doing this on purpose!"
"Doing what on purpose?"
"You're tryin' to-" He then cut himself off, looking down at Samandriels face, "Nothin'...never mind. What hand was it."
"Right."
Dean slowly lowered himself down so his right hand was pressing against the blue circle. Castiel could feel his body trying to hover over his own.
"Uh-uh, Deanie," Balthazar tisked, "you can't just brush it with your fingertips now."
"Yeah, thats cheating!" Said Sam.
Dean grumbled a curse and pressed all his weight down onto the blue circle, his body pressing against Castiels. His cheek was against Castiels thigh, his hips against his rear. Castiel was blushing like crazy.
Samandriel knocked Sam out when it was his turn, so now it was only Dean and Castiel left. It was Castiels turn again. He had left hand green.
The reason this was Castiels favorite game was because he was good at it. He was very flexible, and he had played this game so many times he knew all the right moves to win. He brought his left hand over to green, but flipped himself over as though he were doing a crab walk. His right hand still on yellow, and his feet still on blue. Dean was looming over him. He blushed again.
"Dean, left hand blue."
"Course it is." He grumbled, placing his other hand on the other side of Castiels waist.
"Castiel, left hand green."
Castiels left hand went to green.
"Dean, right hand green."
Deans right hand went to green. He was now very close to Castiel. They were inches away from pressing against each other, only the weight that Dean was putting into his hands was separating them. Castiels tongue subconsciously licked at his lips, and Dean fell. He fell right in between Castiels legs, and something brushed against Cas' thigh that surprised him so much he yelped, and Dean kneed him in the crotch.
Castiel doubled over in pain on the white tarp, muttering a curse.
"Ooo, low blow, Deano." Winced Balthazar.
"I didn't do it on purpose!"
"Don't cry, Castiel," Samandriel rushed forward to his brothers aid, crouching down to his face, "don't cry okay? I'll go get Daddy. Gabriel got Daddy for me when I landed like that on the monkey bars. But you don't gotta cry 'cause you're bigger than me. I'll be right back." He scampered out of the room, shouting for their father as he ran down the hall and down the steps.
"Oh, Jesus, Cas, I'm sorry, I'm so, so, sorry!" Dean said. Castiel just withered on the floor, trying to catch his breath.
"S'okay," he gasped, cupping the crotch of his jeans with his hands, "it was an accident."
"Nice going, Dean," snarked Sam in a teasing manner, "why do you gotta be such a sore loser?"
"I didn't do it 'cause I lost! He scared me when he yelped, so I tried to move outta the way and-and-God I'm really sorry, Cas."
"S'okay, Dean," Castiel said again, his stomach clenching from the pain, "really. It's fine. I'll be okay."
"See, Daddy, see!" Samandriel came running back inside the room, pulling his fathers hand behind him, and pointing at his brother on the floor, "Castiel hurt his privates."
Balthazar snickered, and Sam elbowed him in the ribs.
Chuck sat on his knees next to his son, placing both hands on his shoulders, and speaking softly, "Castiel, are you all right?"
Castiel nodded.
"Can you get up for me?"
"I-I think so..."
Shakenly, Castiel got to his feet, still slightly doubled over from the pain. Chuck took him to the bathroom. Samandriel followed. Chuck had Castiel sit on the toilet seat while he ran downstairs to get a bag of frozen peas. Samandriel peered over from the doorway.
"Are you okay, Castiel?" he asked.
"Yes, I think I'm better now. It doesn't hurt as much anymore."
"Good. It hurt really bad when I fell on the monkey bars. I thought I was gonna die! Gabriel told me I wouldn't though. Then after Daddy made me better Gabriel took me out for ice cream. Maybe he'll take you out for ice cream too!"
Castiel couldn't help but smile, "Maybe."
They were quiet for a moment. Samandriel picked at the peeling white paint on the door frame with his fingernail, and Castiel leaned back against the toilet, the top of his head grazing the wall behind him.
"Castiel," said Samandriel in a small voice, "how come we don't play anymore?"
"What do you mean? We play all the time. I just played with you in our bedroom."
"No. We don't play like we used to play."
Castiel rolled his shoulder. "We're just older now I guess. When you get older you stop playing things you used to play little by little. It's sad, yes, but it happens. Everyone stops playing eventually."
Samandriel shook his head again, blue eyes fixated on the chip of white paint still clinging onto the door frame.
"What do you think it is then?"
"I think it's 'cause you miss mama."
Castiel's mind went blank.
"See..." Samandriel finally looked away from the paint and to his white faced brother, "you always go quiet when we talk about her. You used ta always come in my room, and talk with me, and play with me! Now you never have time for me. Ever since mom left you never play with me." His eyes went watery, and he started sniffing, "Is it 'cause-cause I made her leave?"
"Samandriel, no, no!" Castiel outstretched his hands towards his little brother, "why would you ever think that? Why would you ever think that it was your fault?"
"Dunno..." He wiped his face quickly, turning away from the open arms, "I just thought..."
"Samandriel. Don't ever think like that ever again. Okay?"
"Kay."
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah...I'm gonna go get Balthazar, and Sam, and Dean."
Without another word, he took off.
The rest of the night was quite uneventful to say at the least. Dean continued apologizing, and Castiel kept telling him it was fine. Samandriel acted quite distant. He played Mouse Trap with Sam until it was time to eat. Balthazar went off to wreck havoc with Lucifer and Gabriel, and Castiel was left with an awkward Dean who kept asking if he was sure he was all right. He assured him every time that yes, he was fine. But he actually wasn't quite sure if he was fine. Not in the same sense that Dean asked, but in the sense that all this happy family stuff seemed to be an illusion.
His father was merely building a false reality in which that everything was okay by coming to Louisiana to visit their relatives. As though showing them good company would prove that their mothers absence was nothing but a distant memory now. That they didn't need her. But this was all a lie. Their mothers abandonment has left a deep scar on Castiel and his siblings, and it was still affecting them, and it was going to continue to affect them. He didn't understand why his father didn't seem to understand that.
Castiel was quiet through dinner.
He said goodbye to Dean and Sam. Their father had come to pick them up in the Impala. Castiel thought the metallic looked cool and smooth, but he didn't get a chance to be proven right because Mr. Winchester had wanted to get home as soon as possible.
Uncle Joshua made popcorn on the stove when the fireflies started to come out, and Raphael helped Samandriel catch some and put them in a jar. Anna, Mike, and them started to have a contest to see who could catch the most.
Gabriel managed to slide out the window on the top floor and perch himself on the roof. He announced that this would be a good spot to watch fireworks on the fourth of July, and when he said that Chuck got upset and stormed upstairs. Balthazar and Lucifer were laughing their heads off. Gabriel whined that Lucifer dared him to do it. Then Chuck got mad at Lucifer too, and told him that since he was the second oldest he should know better. Aunt Rachel got after Balthazar too.
Naomi sat with Castiel on the porch swing and named all the constellations for him. He didn't ask many questions about them. He only listened. She told him stories of Greek mythology, and Gods, and all sorts of things like that. He wondered where she learned all of this, but he didn't ask. He just let his eyes and ears be filled with the new knowledge of stars, and planets, and Greek Gods. He almost wished that he could become a star. To become a ball of energy and light, to live a million light years away, and to become part of a new nebula or galaxy. To become one of the many twinkling lights in the sky that children gaze up on on cool summer nights. To become part of a story that teachers read about to their classes when discussing ancient Greek myths.
Aunt Rachel called them to tell them that the popcorn was ready.
He was contently enjoying a very vivid dream consisting of freckled skin, and pink lips when Castiel was jerked awake from a loud pecking sound that was unsettling the night.
He flipped over on his side in his bed to peer at the window next to him. He squinted, trying to help his eyes get adjusted to the dark. He could see the blue sky outside, but the moon was just out of his view. Its light still lit up the night sky and illuminated the face of the figure that had been tapping at Castiels window.
His eyes grew wide after recognizing the devilish grin greeting him outside the glass. He attempted to scramble out of bed but his foot got caught in his sheets and he ended up falling flat on his stomach on the floor. He didn't let it phase him though.
Dean was at his window.
He unhatched it and pushed up the glass, so now only a screen was separating the two.
Dean had climbed up the house wall by crawling up the fence that was originally put by Castiels mother to hang flowers from, but now lay bare of any kind of floral arrangement. It had turned a brownish color long ago, and was most likely not safe for Dean to climb. This didn't seem to affect him in anyway.
"Hey, Cas," Deans breath was ragged, like he had just ran a long distance, "mind if I come inside?"
Castiel hardly understood any of what Dean had just said. He was still high with the excitement that he had actually shown up in the middle of the night to knock on his window. What did Dean want? Was he going to sweep Castiel away in his Impala like in Castiels fantasies? Maybe he needed his help to prank Zachariah. His heart was pumping too loud in his ears to hear anything else other than his own voice.
"Dean," he said, "what are you doing here? It's like...two in the morning."
"I know, I know, I'm sorry, but I had to go somewhere. Can you just let me in, Cas? I'm getting tired from holdin' onto this fence thing."
"Oh! Yes! Sorry."
Castiel popped out the screen and put it on the ground, leaning it against the wall.
Dean climbed inside once Cas moved out of the way.
"Can we go someplace else?" Dean asked in a whisper, "I don't wanna wake up your family."
"What do you mean?" Cas squinted and tilted his head towards his shoulder, "Aren't we going to go for a ride in the Impala-"
"Sorry, Cas," Dean cut him off. Although he could hardly see he could tell Dean was smiling, "not this time...Just...take me to the bathroom or something..."
"The bathroom?" Castiel was very confused now, "What could we possibly do in the bathroom?"
Dean made a disgruntled noise, "Well, Cas, actually we could do a lot of things. But that's not what I'm here for. Just take me to the bathroom, and once you turn the lights on you'll see."
"Okay." Castiel was very confused, but went along with Deans wishes.
He lead him out of his bedroom and took a step on the creaky floorboards in the hall. He winced at the first creak. Dean just told him to hurry up, it'll be worse if they just stood there. So he quickly tip toed the rest of the way down the hall, past Annas bedroom, and to the bathroom. He could hear Dean mumble behind him,
"Why did I come to the house with the biggest dork living inside it?"
He flipped on the bathroom lights and turned around when Dean caught up to him. When the yellow light came in contact with his green eyes he winced and brought a hand up to shield it. That's when Castiel finally noticed.
Deans knuckles were bleeding horribly. They looked as though they had been busted open, and Castiel almost feared his hand could be broken. All down his hand was bright red blood. Flecks of it stained the tile.
"Dean!" Castiel gasped a little to loud and the latter had to shush him, "What on earth happened to you?"
"Got into a fight with my dad." He sighed with the air of having to explain this a million times before. He took a seat on the toilet next to the sink and examined his hand with the busted knuckles. The longer Castiel stared at him the more wounds he saw. There was a bleeding cut above his eyebrow, and a fading red mark on his cheek. How could he had missed these before? The friendly but cunning grin had masked these when Castiel had seen his face outside the glass.
"You hit him?" Castiel asked.
Dean let out an odd laugh that Castiel hadn't heard him do before. It was a laugh but it sounded forced and fake. "Nah," he said, "this is from punching a tree when I was on my way over here. Everything else though is all courtesy of Johnathan Winchester."
"Is Sam all right?"
"Sammy's fine. Pissed about his dog. But he's fine. My dad found Bones in the shed and told me to get rid of him. I told him I couldn't because it was Sams dog. This got him even more upset. Sam locked himself in our bedroom with the dog the whole time. He mighta ran off to his friend Kevins house, but if he didn't I doubt my Dad will even check on him. Dad wouldn't dare touch Sammy. He'll be fine."
"...I need to tell my dad."
"Cas don't!" Dean stood up from the toilet and grabbed a hold of the pajama shirt Castiel was wearing just as he was turning to run down the stairs and wake up his father. "Castiel please. Don't tell. They'll split Sammy and I up. Please. I have to take care of Sam."
Castiel turned around and saw that the hand holding him back was trembling, and the green eyes looking at him were filled with hot tears. Castiel recognized this emotion. He went through it for a month or two after his mother left them. For a month straight Castiel trembled with anxiety and cried into his pillow at night. His father was a mess and Castiel feared for him. He knelled next to his bed and prayed and prayed and prayed for his mother to return. He prayed for his father to be well. But no matter how hard he prayed his mothers bags didn't return on the porch steps like they so often would in his dreams. He was afraid his family was going to be torn apart right down the middle.
Dean was scared.
So Castiel turned back around and shut the bathroom door behind him with a click. He went through the medicine cabinet and pulled out a dusty first aid kit. Without a word he began to rummage through the contents until he found Neosporin and dabbed a glob onto his finger. He went up to Dean and smeared it across the cut on his forehead.
"Thanks, Cas." Dean said softly. When Castiel didn't respond he continued talking, "I normally go over to Benny's for this kinda stuff...but he went to go visit his sister in New Orleans. He won't be back until Monday."
"Why not Balthazar?" Castiel finally said, pressing a beige band-aid over the cut. Dean actually laughed this time. "What's so funny?"
"You know, Cas..." He said, still chuckling, "I didn't even think of Balthazar until just now. I was so set on just gettin' over here to see you."
Castiel tried hard not to blush as he rummaged for the disinfectant spray in the first aid kit box. "Me?" He said plainly, pretending as though it wasn't making it his blood rush. No. Not at all.
"Yes, you...you know...you're all I can really think about lately."
"Am I?" Castiel was now squatting in front of Dean with the disinfectant spray. His brain was buzzing with sparks of hope and something else he couldn't quite put his finger on. He refused to look up at his face and instead looked hard at his hand. He took it in his own and warned him, "this might sting a little."
"Heh, I can handle it. That stuff doesn't sting so ba-" He bit down on his tongue when Castiel sprayed the disinfectant on his busted knuckles. A noise was caught in his throat and Cas tried to hold back a snicker as he watched the 'big tough guy' wince before him from a few witzs of disinfectant.
"You were saying, Dean?" He began to wrap the bandages around Dean's hand, still refusing to look up at his face.
"Shut up, Cas."
Once all his wounds were tended to, Castiel stood up off the floor and said, "Good as new."
Dean looked down at his hand and smiled back up at him, "You're awesome."
Castiel rolled his shoulders in a modest shrug.
"You're not gonna go back to your house are you?"
"Wasn't plannin' on it. Why?"
"I just...I didn't want you to."
Dean wrapped an arm around his shoulder and tousled his already messy black hair. "I'm fine, Cas. You don't gotta worry about me. I can hold my own. But your dad won't mind if I stay the night right? Can I crash on your couch?"
"Of course, Dean." Castiel flashed a small smile, "you're always welcome to."
"Awesome."
Castiel lead Dean downstairs quietly and into the living room. Dean laid down on the couch as though he had already been here a million times before. Castiel fetched him a blanket out of the hall closet and draped it over him. Dean chuckled and thanked him for it.
"Good night, Dean." He whispered to him, one hand on the stair railing.
"Night, Cas." He yawned in return.
Castiel slowly made his way back into his bedroom where the cold night air blew his curtains askew. He pushed it shut before crawling back into bed. He pressed his nose into his pillow, his hands curling into balls next to his face. His heart felt a heaviness that was very unfamiliar to him.
He was slightly afraid for Dean. He was afraid for Sam too. He had finally gotten friends, and they were in trouble. He wouldn't let his new friends go through something like this. Sam and Dean didn't deserve it. Castiel wished that there was some way for Sam and Dean just to stay at his place or Balthazars for the summer. Someplace safe for them. Someplace to keep them away from the hurtful hands of their father.
This was a life lesson for Castiel; Dean seemed so carefree, and happy. He was rebellious. He didn't let rules confine him. He was self reliant. He could love with all his heart. He was fearless. He could look death straight in the eye and wink at it. He was something Castiel could only dream of being. It was like Dean was living in an adventure movie and Castiel was merely watching it. Dean was fast cars, good company, trouble making, and smart. Dean was all these things, and yet, he was only just a scared little boy as well.