Author's Note: This chapter was a bear, and demanded more room, so there is one more to come. If you're still with me and have enjoyed this at all, please leave me a review! Nope, I don't own it. All recognizable dialogue comes from the Doomsday episode. Unbeta'd, so all mistakes are mine.
A biting wind greeted Rose as she stepped out onto the beach, her blonde hair whipping into her face. She fought back the hopelessness that tried to settle in her stomach. This was it - she could feel it. A bare expanse of sand and rock and sea. No brilliant, beautiful blue box or smiling, skinny alien waiting for her. Between the bitter cold and the bleak gray emptiness before her, Rose felt that last little flame of hope inside her flicker and go out.
She could tell that the others felt it, too. The earlier silence in the car had been supplanted by earnest conversation as they tried to consider every possibility. They made an effort to remain calm and objective, but they all were a bit emotional, particularly Jackie and Rose. Each knew that what they truly wanted would bring heartache to the other. They held onto each other tightly, afraid to let go. While Jackie was surprisingly happy and complete here, she knew in her heart that Rose's greatest happiness would mean returning to her Doctor and the life they had shared.
They all recognized that he was probably Rose's best chance, too, their best hope for some answers as to what was afflicting her and how they could fight it. And so, with a desperate, sacrificial love they had all hoped - against all odds, as humans tend to do for those they love. A collective hope that shattered silently as they stood on a desolate beach in Norway.
Wordlessly they wandered along the shore. Mickey had an arm wrapped gently around Rose's waist, while Jackie gripped her other hand almost painfully. Slowly Rose came to a standstill. Jackie and Mickey released her, letting her continue the last few feet alone, knowing that however this reunion played out, this moment would mean a lot to both the Doctor and Rose.
Pete drew Jackie into his embrace, their eyes fixed upon Rose. Mickey stood nearby, resolute and alert, ready to be at her side in an instant. All four of them just waiting... and watching.
Though Rose had heard him in her mind and knew this was the right place, he wasn't here. Yet despite the heaviness in her heart, Rose was determined. If this was all they had, one last moment, she would not waste it. Her hope now was just to see him once more. One last bittersweet memory to tuck away and keep her strong, to keep her fighting.
And she would tell him. She would always love him. Regardless of whether he felt the same, he cared for her deeply - needed her. The sudden, cruel nature of their separation had almost crushed her. She knew that the Doctor had lost others before. Yet losing her would still bring him pain and probably guilt as well (however unwarranted), and she would do whatever she could to alleviate that pain. The thought of him alone and suffering struck a blow to her heart. She had promised him forever... at least her forever. Now she couldn't even give him that. But she would give him the memory of her love to carry with him.
The ocean quietly lapping the shore was the only sound in the empty stillness.
And then he was there, appearing silently before her. Rose's heart caught in her throat at the achingly familiar sight of him, all rumpled hair and brown pinstripes and sad, yet beautiful eyes. Love swelled up, commingling with despair. It was all wrong. She could see through him, that hateful beach stretching on into the distance, and she could feel the emptiness and the silence where the TARDIS should be.
For a moment they just stared at each other, too overcome to speak. "Where are you?" Rose asked, breaking the silence. Not here, not here, not here...
"Inside the TARDIS. There was one tiny little gap in the universe left, just about to close. And it takes a lot of power to send this projection." Ah, that explained it. "I'm in orbit around a supernova. Burning up a sun just to say goodbye." The Doctor smiled slightly, and Rose knew what it cost him. Her already broken heart felt like it was splintering at that last word.
"You look like a ghost," Rose managed to say, the words sticking in her throat.
"Hold on." He made an adjustment with the sonic, aiming it at something she couldn't see. He seemed to solidify before her, the sadness in his face now even more evident.
Rose closed the distance between them, unable to stop herself, needing to touch him. "Can I to-...?" she started, raising a hand to that dear face, her voice faltering. She knew the answer.
"I'm still just an image - no touch." She heard the soft regret in his voice, could see the longing in his eyes, and her heart felt strangely comforted. He missed her, too.
"Can't you come through properly?" she asked. If she was being honest with herself, she had known from the beginning, when she'd first heard him calling her. He couldn't.
"The whole thing would fracture. Two universes would collapse," he said sadly. Her wonderful Time Lord - so many millions of lives he saved and protected, unknowingly dependent on him. Yet for her he had tried, exhausting himself; she could see the weariness and regret in his eyes. It reminded her of Downing Street, the tenderness and heartache that had shone in his stormy blue eyes. I could save the world but lose you.
"So?" she quipped lightly, trying for a teasing smile but not quite making it. Still he smiled back, and it's so very them, though slightly strained. It will never be them again.
Rose broke away from his gaze, eyes flitting down and then out to the sea to hide her despair before meeting his again, hungrily taking in every detail - his wild hair, longer than she remembered, the slight curve of his smile, the freckles sprinkled across his nose and cheeks, the tender love and warmth in his face as he regarded her. She allowed herself to bask in his gaze for a moment before he looked up with mild curiosity.
"Where are we? Where did the gap come out?" he asked.
"We're in Norway," she replied, knowing that neither of them really cared; they were just words to fill the space, the ones that really mattered remaining unsaid.
"Norway. Right."
"About fifty miles outta Bergen. 'S called Darlig Ulv Stranden," she elaborated, watching his face, knowing that the translation would surprise him.
He glance at her in alarm, scanning the beach quickly. "Dalek?" He was suddenly acutely aware of the concern and anxiety emanating from Mickey and her parents, though their focus was solely upon Rose. So, no outward threat, he thought, though he was left feeling vaguely unsettled.
Okay, she hadn't anticipated that response. "Darlig," she enunciated, knowing she was probably botching the pronunciation anyway. "'S Norwegian for bad. This translates to Bad Wolf Bay." Rose smiled up at him wryly, remembering the cryptic words that had led her back to him. Her memories of Bad Wolf were clouded, so she was unaware of the even greater import those words carried for him. He laughed, and even though it was half-hearted, the sound still spread through her mind like a healing balm.
She knew this couldn't last, however, and tears filled her eyes as her brave facade crumbled. "How long have you got?" She hated the way her voice trembled, wanting so badly to be strong for him.
"'Bout two minutes." Two minutes. All that they'd been through, all they mean to each other, all she'd been willing to give him - her heart, her forever, her everything - cut mercilessly short. Two minutes.
She pushed her wind-whipped hair back from her face, laughing at the impossibility of it all, the laughter almost painful as it escaped. "I can't think of what to say." She can, but the words won't come.
The Doctor laughed with her, and his smile was wistful. He looked down at his trainers, hiding his eyes almost shyly. For a moment Rose felt like a teenager again, caught in the awkward sweetness of the moment.
He looked up again, motioning to the group behind her. "You've still got Mister Mickey, then?" He took in Mickey's protective stance, the concern and sympathy in his eyes.
"Well, there's five of us now - Mum, Dad, Mickey... and the baby," she replied, wanting to share the brightest spot in her life now - the anticipation of being a big sister.
A strange look crossed his face, somewhere between joy and longing. "You're not...?" he questioned softly, the tenderness in his voice making her insides flutter.
"No," she laughed, dismissing the odd moment, at least temporarily. "It's mum." He laughed with her, seeming slightly embarrassed at the conclusion he'd jumped to. Surely she was imagining the hint of relief she'd heard in his laughter. "She's three months gone... more Tylers on the way."
"And what about you?" he asked, studying her intently, the way he always had, like he could see straight through to her soul. And she wanted so badly to confide in him, her best mate, but there wasn't enough time. She wouldn't burden him with more worry when there was nothing he could do to help.
"Yeah, I'm back workin' in the shop," she lied, deflecting his perusal.
He nodded, surprising her with his casual acceptance of her reply. "Oh, good for you."
No way was he getting away with that. "Shut up. No, I'm not. See, the Torchwood on this planet's open for business. Think I know a thing or two about aliens," she bantered, aching to see him smile again.
"Rose Tyler... Defender of the Earth." He beamed, his proud smile the last thing she registered as the world tilted and went black.
The Doctor felt frozen, watching in horror as his brilliant, beautiful Rose suddenly collapsed onto the beach. Mickey, Jackie, and Pete rushed to her side, Mickey propping her up and feeling for her pulse. In a helpless stupor the Doctor fell to his knees, heedless of the bite of metal beneath him, a silent cry of desperation and panic on his lips. His eyes were riveted to the pale face of the woman he loved, her stillness stopping his hearts. Feeling the weight of Jackie's stare he looked up reluctantly, tearing his eyes away from Rose. The fear and pleading in her eyes shook him; there was no surprise there, only worry. Jackie Tyler, brave, brash, indomitable Jackie Tyler, was terrified for her daughter. "Please, Doctor... help her. Please," she whispered, her words cutting him like knives, letting the fear seep into his soul.
For a moment he thought there was an earthquake before he realized it was him. He was shaking. His Rose lay there, motionless, suffering from something that put fear in Jackie Tyler's eyes, and he could do nothing. Mere inches between them, yet they were insurmountable. How could they look to him for answers, for help? He, who had no idea what was happening. She was supposed to be safe here, not happy yet, perhaps, but healthy, loved, living the fantastic life she deserved. The adventure that he could never have, yet a part of him longed for. Safe.
Reason fled, replaced by a cold fury. He felt the storm growing within him and struggled to contain it, knowing that he had no outlet, except perhaps to rage at the universes. Before the others could witness the change in him, he felt his awareness suddenly yanked back into the TARDIS.
"No, no, no, no, NO!" he roared, pulling frantically at his hair and dashing madly about the console, his distraught voice echoing through his silent ship.