Last of Us- Ch. 4
To say things have been awkward after the recent events of calling Lauren an ignorant bitch would be an understatement. To say that the guilt isn't eating me alive, because I don't know whether or not Caleb is even alive, would be even worse. The fact that I still feel the guilt of him, the guilt of knowing Uriah is dead, that I still feel like I owe Four even though I saved is precious girlfriend, no matter how much I hate her.
We'd walked all night, in silence except for the crunch of the leaves under our feet in the woods. I'd get ahead, and climb a tree occasionally to be sure of our direction. As we near the high way, I stop, throwing my bags onto the ground near a tree, as the sun finally has risen. "What're you doing?" Four asks, but setting his bags down next to mine.
I point to the city before responding, "Highway's 'bout a mile up… We'd best get some sleep before crossing through the city, which would be crawling with walkers…" I answer steadily. The exhaustion sneaking up on me like a windstorm. We make the camp, setting out the two sleeping bags, even though I'd prefer sleeping sitting up; keeps me more prepared if we have to run. "I'm going to see if I can find some kind of food" I say, throwing my crossbow back over my shoulder, and the knife back into its sleeve, "if I'm not back in an hour, move on without me… If I'm alive, I'll find you in the city."
As I prepare to go, I sight the joyful smirk on Lauren's face; sadistic psycho she is. "I'll come with you…" Four volunteers, but I shake my head. As I turn, I realize just how close he got, my hand placed on his arm, but I quickly pull it away before anything else happens.
"Something happens, and none of us live. I can take care of myself, she can't" I reply, pointing towards Lauren, "and after last time, there is no way in hell you're leaving her alone again." I push Four back again, realizing that he'd taken another step closer to me.
Without another word, I leave. I can't listen to the arguments, even if he did know I was right. Most times I wonder where his loyalties lie, with Lauren, or himself. It's funny, really, how simple it is for me to throw my life away when I feel as if I have nothing to live for in the first place. I pull the bow back up to my sights, as I spot something in the distance. I move quickly, but quietly towards the movement. The attempt to quiet the leaving crunching beneath my feat is inevitably impossible. I near the movement, to finally notice that it's not any animal but a person, as I come closer, I realize that it's not just any person, it's Caleb.
"Caleb!" I yell, finally ignoring the moments of silence, as any chance of hunting fled off, but I don't care. As I'm only feet from him now, he'd turn to me, a smile on his face, and I feel one come to mine. The first time a smile had been on my in days, along with tears of happiness; and at that moment, I'd realized these would be the only times I'd ever be happy again in my life, when I find that my loved one aren't dead.
As I finally reach him, I wrap my arms around his torso, despite the dirty t-shirt, as I'm sure I look just as bad, but I don't care. He picks me up, his arms around me also, "I thought you were dead Beatrice" he whispers into my hair of sweat and tears, which I hadn't known that I had left in me. I only nod to his accusation, I'd say it back because it's true, but I won't; he's alive, and I know that now, and that's all that matters.
I finally let go and look behind him, to see he'd joined Tori, Adrian, and Christina. "Come on" I say, the smile still finding its way to my face, despite my attempts to suppress it, "The rest of us are back here…" As I walk them back, I find my crossbow on the ground, noticing that I'd dropped in on the ground when I found them. I quickly sling it over my shoulder like usual before continuing to walk.
We make it back to the group to find Lauren sleeping, and Four sitting with his back to a tree, poking and prodding the fire like a little kid, awaiting my return I assume. He looks up from his pleasures to see my company, his face lights up, "mom!" he says with about as much excitement as I had for Caleb, and I can only look over them and smile. They exchange words over how happy they are that the other is safe before he moves over to Christina, his sister, and doing the same.
After watching for a while, I finally greet Adrian to exchange small words about what she's been up to, nothing serious. I finally go over to Christina, both smiling at each other giddily, before crashing into a hug. I stand there for a minute, confiding all of our griefs with the other silently, just the tears and sniffling noses. Though without a word, we have a silent agreement almost to talk later, assuming that we both have a lot to talk about; no matter how long later will be.
We'd finally settled down, and I finally become tired, as I feel jittery. I slowly yawn, before leaning my head back against the tree behind. Caleb, who'd taken a seat next to me, spots me yawning "go to sleep," he says, being the strict big brother that I've always known. I lay my head against his arm, then tucking my legs under me, "Beatrice-" he warns, but I interrupt him.
"I am" is all I say, which is the last thing I notice before falling asleep, to where
When I wake up, it's about midday, and the sun's blazing heat causes my skin to turn red. I look around, to see everyone awake and packing up, and Four spots me, "Oh good, you're awake… I got assigned with the difficult task of waking you up, and I really didn't feel being hated for the rest of the afternoon…" he jokes, and I smile at his attempt to make me happy. I get up; ready to collect my things before we head to the city.
As we begin to walk, I take my place next to Caleb, planning to have some kind of decent conversation with him without tears welling up in my eyes. I begin with something simple, "how long was I sleeping?" I ask.
"Only an hour or two, I'm surprised you didn't sleep longer considering your track record" He smiles over to me; it must be one good day for everyone to make jokes.
"Yea, well I haven't exactly been getting the desired amount of sleep as I would like lately, I'm used to it…" I reply, before I immediately feel bad for ruining the joyous mood. I look over to see the small smirk still on his face.
"Well, when we get to John and Zeke, that'll all change… we'll be safe. Okay?" he says reassuringly, and I nod, putting the almost invisible smile on my face, whether it's for him or for myself, I don't know.
John and Zeke, John being my dad's ex-coworker when we lived in Texas, but we moved to New York because my dad had a job as a lawyer. And Zeke, who's 17 like Four, is my ex-boyfriend when we lived in Texas, granted I was only 11, so it didn't mean much. We started out as friends, and like everything else, it slowly became more; we tried to make it work after we moved, but it didn't, he ended up cheating on me. Right before everything with Four and Lauren happened, and that is when I realized that I have the worst luck with guys, but I got my best friend out of it.
Technically, Four and Christina are brother and sister. Tori had adopted Christina when she was only 10, right before Tori's husband left her. Christina and I were in sixth grade when I met her, we were practically inseparable, and I met Four when I when to her house for the first time. We'd all become really good friends, until my freshmen year of high school, and Four was a junior. I started getting feelings for him that I tried so hard to suppress, to stay the friends that we were. But he found out, told me no, then ended up dating my best friend at the time, Lauren.
Dramatic, I know.
Now, Christina and I are best friends, I'd kill Lauren if I really had the chance, and I avoid Four to the best of my ability.
We'd continued to walk in silence until we met with the highway again. As we climbed to the top, that overpassed the city, I saw the steadily crumbling city that we once knew as Dallas. That is no longer what it is; this is Hell. When we got to the top, we overlooked the city, we watched the infestation grow, claw against the fence, chained in against their will as if they had one. "This is outrageous…" I whisper, I stand there in awe as I watch the world before me disintegrate to ashes, where nothing will be left. Nothing!
I look over to the people beside me, tearing my eyes away from these preposterous conditions, to see them watching over the way I did moments ago. 'I cannot stand here and wait' I tell myself, 'we must go.' Without waiting any longer, I descend from the long highway, continuing onto the sizzling roads. I spot the sign that says 'Fort Worth 32 miles', and I follow it. It'll take me home.
Due to the cage of crawlers that lies inside of the city, we had to take the long way around. After I'd left them, and continued walking, when they finally caught up to me and agreed that we'd walk through the night, only stopping to eat, and I happily obliged.
We'd been walking for awhile now, finally stepped foot back into the woods about an hour ago, and since then the sun has steadily lowered itself to the horizon, taking away our daylight. When the sun finally disappears, leaving us to walk in the dark, Caleb finally speaks up, breaking the silence. "I think it's about time we stop, and get something to eat," he says.
Walking not much longer, we find a circle of trees that would easily encase us. All setting down our bags, we pull out the food we have left, which would barely last us our trip there. I grab the two cans that are left in my bag, before pulling out the knife that lies on my hip, puncturing the top of the can three times, then prying it open. I look around me to see the others doing the same.
Sitting around the fire, they all tell jokes and laugh happily, as if nothing in the world is wrong. I could never live like that, not anymore, I always have to be quiet, I always have to listen, and I always have to be awake even when I'm sleeping. "Hey Tris!" I hear my brother; I only look towards him to acknowledge my attention. I do not waste my breathe on words wasted on casualties that will surmount to nothing. "Remember when we went hunting with Dad, Zeke and John a few years back, and we'd killed something, I don't remember what it was, but you were practically dissecting the thing," he laughs.
I smile at the memory, as the others looks at him confusedly, so he continues "Ya, she'd skin the thing, and point out all its different organs and what they did and everything, even pointed out that it's heart had exploded on impact" he says, adding a chuckle to the end, "from that day on, I always named her my little doctor."
I don't speak a word, as they all go back to their regular conversation. I wonder what the relevance of that story was, probably just for entertainment, just to remember what it was like at a time before this. "Hey, I'm going for a walk" Caleb says, standing up before arming himself with several knives and guns. No one pays much attention to him really, "Four? Come on", he says, before taking off again.
I can't lie, and say that my heartaches watching him leave again, knowing that I just got him back. And I also can't lie, and say that I'm not the least bit curios why he'd ask Four to go with him. Deciding that my curiosity is stronger than my fright I look around me; no one is paying attention to me. I take that chance to ease away quietly towards the direction that the others went.
As the light of the fire slowly fades, footsteps and voices become clearer, and I realize I'm becoming closer to them. What once were loud footsteps of escape from the people who'd stop me, are now quiet as I try to read what Caleb and Four are saying. And it is that moment, which I notice I forgot any kind of weapon, including the knife that was once eternally attached to my hip.
"I don't understand, where are you going? Why do you have to do this?" a voice asks, that I notice to belong to Four.
"I just have to, okay? Please don't make me regret trusting you with this, when I could've someone else" and that would be Caleb. Where is he going?
"Fine… where are you going?"
"I can't tell you that… but I need you to do me a favor"
"Why are you telling me this if you can't tell me the entire thing!" Four bursts.
"I just can't, I would've assumed that you of all people would understand this… now, are you in, or not?" It's silent for a few moments before they continue
"Alright, I'm in, what do you need?"
"For one, I need you to keep this from Beatrice-"
"Tris? Why?" Four questions
"Just do it, it's to protect her more than to hurt her…" Caleb replies. I hear the footsteps behind me, the growling behind me, but I'm too enveloped in the conversation, and the bothersome is too far away for me to care. "And on the same note, protect her Four, if you want to repay me in any way, that is what you will do… You will keep her safe even if it means yours, or another's life… she will be important later" Caleb speaks, and right as he finishes, as if on cue, a long, loud whistle plays out. "I have to go now… Remember, do not tell anyone, as far as you know I'm long gone dead" Caleb says, before what sounds like pulling something out of his pocket. The tears well up in my eyes; he's gone again, and he didn't even tell me goodbye, he didn't care enough to tell me goodbye.
"When you get to Fort Worth, get Zeke alone and give this to him, he'll know what it means…" He finishes.
"Okay" Four says, the breath sounds as if taken from him, like it's hard for him to breathe; how it'd be for me if I tried to talk, impossible. "This is going to break her, you know that right?" I assume Caleb only nods, because he doesn't respond. A second whistle sounds, and I hear the panic in the last sentence that I will ever hear in his voice again.
"I love her Four, tell her that for me, I couldn't bear to… but some things are just… just more important than love… I'll see you later" and with that, he's gone, the pitter patter of his foot steps against the leaves as he runs leaves tears streaming down my face at the same pace, fast and unstoppable.
The growling that I'd once heard a distance away now has its grungy arms around the tree that I had been leaning on, reaching for me. It wraps its arms around my neck, allowing me to release a strangled scream, but too weak to do anything about. At the point where its claws almost got me, its mouth almost reaching my neck, it just falls.
He saved me again. As I face him, his eyes are wide, "what are you out here for?" he asks, startlingly. 'He's really asking 'how much did you hear?'' I tell myself.
I answer simply, "You guys were gone for awhile, got worried… I've only been out here a minute or two, but I forgot any weapons… just go, I'll be back in a minute"
He eyes me suspiciously for a moment, but luckily doesn't decide to argue. The moment he's gone I crash to the ground in a pile of skin and bones as the tears flood my face again. He's gone, and what he had to do was more important than love, and he's gone, and he didn't even say goodbye.
And he's gone.