WARNING: SMUT LIES AHEAD (Rated M)

Part two! This was actually the first fic I ever wrote for these characters. Also, didn't originally have smut, but my friend encouraged me to try writing it, this was my first go at it! I hope you guys enjoy, as always, feedback is much appreciated.

Still don't own supernatural or any of its characters.

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She was lying in bed, eyes wide open. They had gotten back to the bunker at around 9:00, ate dinner, had a couple beers like they used to every night and went off to bed around midnight. For the first time in over a year, the space next to her was warm. Dean had fallen asleep with his arm wrapped tightly around her waist but had shifted onto his back, her way of knowing he was sound asleep. She had naively thought sleeping would be easier with him back, but if anything it was worse, her thoughts were racing.

Her routine had been the same since Dean disappeared. Every hour of every day dedicated to finding him, two to three hours of sleep, four if she was lucky. She never went on a hunt that wasn't centered on finding Dean. Sam and Kacey had desperately tried to focus her attention elsewhere, but she couldn't bring herself to do it.

She turned her head; the clock glared 2:15 back at her. She slowly crawled out of bed, careful not to wake him from his first real sleep in the bunker since he'd come back. Taking his sweatshirt off of the closet door and slipping it on like she had done every night, she quietly closed the door behind her. She walked down the long dark hallways of the bunker, the tile cold against her bare feet. As she turned into the men of letters library, she ran her hand along the wall, finding the light switch. Blinking in the sudden brightness, she scanned the shelves of ancient texts, grabbing every book she could find on purgatory and made her way back down the hall. Reaching an unused room towards the back of the bunker, she opened the door.

It was a smaller room, one that was intended to be a bedroom. It was empty except for a bed on the right wall and a desk in the middle of the floor; her computer and a half empty beer still sitting on it from two nights before. She turned the light on, laying her pile of books on the table. This had been her secret room for nearly two weeks, ever since she told Sam she was packing it all away, promising him that she was done looking, that she had accepted Dean was gone. On the back wall hung "the Dean wall", as Sam and Kacey lovingly referred to it. Full of pictures, maps, sketches, anything they had gathered over the past year in their search for him. She sat down at the desk, opened her computer and got to work, searching for any information she could find on getting in and out of purgatory. She had been in the room for all of twenty minutes when that all too familiar sleepy, gruff voice filled the room.

"Am I not invited to the research party?"

"I didn't mean to wake you." she sighed, still looking at her computer.

"Then you shouldn't have left…" He mumbled seeing the books and the wall. "Sam told me you stopped all this stuff weeks ago."

"That's what I told him." She responded coldly.

"C'mon Em, I'm back. What else is there to look for?"

She closed her eyes, pinching the bridge of her nose.

"What I missed..." She answered, her voice barely above a whisper, tears starting to sting her eyes.

He walked closer to her, putting a hand gently on her shoulder. "What?"

She stood up, brushing his hand away, and walked toward the wall, trying to keep herself together "I'm trying to figure out what I missed."

"What you missed?"

She turned sharply toward him.

"A year, Dean. I searched for you for an entire year." She gestured towards the map. "We drove all over the damn country. I tortured every monster I could get my hands on, demons, leviathans, vamps, you name it, trying to get any information on you and got nowhere, so yeah, I'm trying to find what I missed."

"Emily..." He said softly, reaching a hand to her face.

"Don't." She slapped his hand away. "Do you want to know why we stopped looking for you? We finally got to Crowley. Even he didn't know where you were or how to get you back and we had to face reality. Sam said we had to move on... or more specifically I did. So I convinced myself you were gone." The tears began streaming down her face. "Because honestly? It was easier. Knowing you were dead was easier than knowing you were out there somewhere and I couldn't get to you. Than knowing I left you to rot in purgatory."

"Don't you dare think that." He said sternly. "There was nothing you could do. There was one way out and it took me that long to find it, there was no way you could have known."

At this point she had completely lost it. Much to her dismay, all of the emotions she had kept down for the past year came spewing out. She hated crying in front of him.

"It doesn't matter! We find each other, we protect each other it's what we do, and I couldn't- I stopped looking- " Her sobs were cutting off her words "I'm sorry Dean, I'm so sorry"

Dean took her into his arms, the place he knew she felt the most safe. He led her to the bed and put her on his lap. She wrapped her arms around his waist and sobbed into his neck, trying her best to pull herself back together, and he just let her cry. Rubbing her back and kissing her hairline, knowing she had been holding all of this in for so long.

"Shh it's okay. I'm back. I'm here. I'm okay." He whispered sweetly into her ear. "None of this is your fault, you hear me? None of it."

She always did this, putting everyone else's needs before her own. Just one of the many things he loved about her. They sat there for a while, Dean holding her while she let the past twenty four hours sink in. She had found him; or rather he had found her. He was okay. He was safe. He was alive. No more sleepless nights, no more empty beds, no more missing him. He was back, and he was hers. When she was finally able to compose herself she gently kissed the crook of his neck, resting her head on his shoulder.

"I missed you." She whispered.

"Me too…" he said kissing her forehead. "Now c'mon, what do you say we box up this stuff for good?"

She lifted her head to look in those green eyes she had missed so much. He cupped her face with his hands, wiping away her tears with his thumbs. She gave him a small smile.

"Okay."

He kissed her softly and sweetly. This was the side of Dean not a lot of people got the privilege of seeing, it really only came out when he was alone with her. He became more open, more sweet and protective. She was grateful that he didn't have to put up his wall around her.

They got up from the bed, walked over to the wall and one by one, pulled the pictures and clippings off of it, tossing them into a trash bin by the desk. Each item they brought down felt like a weight being lifted off of her shoulders. When the Dean wall was finally taken down, they each took a pile of books and left the little bedroom. Making their way down the dark hallway, they returned the books to their proper place in the library. Dean wrapped an arm around her waist and led her back to their bedroom.

He slipped off the sweater he had pulled on, leaving him in pajama pants, and she took off his sweatshirt, hanging it back on the closet door. Slipping back under the covers, they laid on their side facing one another. Tucking her hair back behind her ear, he ran his thumb in a line down her jaw. When he reached her chin, he pulled her face up towards his, setting a kiss on her lips.

As the kiss deepened they held onto everything they had been missing this past year. She felt the scruff on his cheeks, tasted the beer on his lips, lingered on his faint smell of pine and oak. He felt the softness of her hands tracing the muscles on his back, smelled her peppermint shampoo, the same kind she had used since the day they met. They slowly pulled away from each other, touching their foreheads together, eyes still closed.

"I love you so much" he whispered through the dark.

She was slightly surprised; usually she was the first to say it. He wasn't exactly the best at sharing his feelings. However, in the short time he had been back, she could tell Dean was different. Purgatory had changed him. He was softer with her, more protective, more appreciative of the little things.

"I love you too." She smiled back at him while tears brimmed in her eyes. He laughed at her, wiping her eyes again.

"You've cried more today than you do when you watch the notebook"

She shook her head and laughed

"Shut up..." she jeered, rolling on top of him and kissing him passionately.

He returned the favor, running his calloused hands down her back and up under her t-shirt. She ran her fingers through his hair, tugging at it playfully. His lips left her mouth as he worked his way down her neck, ending on her collarbone. He sat up, bringing him with her, wrapping her legs around his waist. He cradled her face with his hands, and had a look of hunger in his eyes.

"Two nights in a row?" she teased "Aren't I a lucky girl."

"An entire year without sex is way too long" he smiled slyly at her.

"I guess we have a lot of catching up to do then" she replied seductively, slipping his shirt over his head, softly kissing his anti-possession tattoo and running her fingers gently down his back.

He took her shirt off and let out a low groan of agreement as he kissed her chest, her hands pulling at his hair. Their mouths met again, more forcefully now, their lips and tongues moving in unison. They pressed their bodies tightly together, both hungry for the feeling they had been missing for so long. Dean gently pushed Emily to the side and onto her back, putting his hands on either side of her shoulders, kissing her neck and trailing his way down.

"Dean..." She murmured, gasping at his touch.

He lingered on her neck, breast bone, and down her stomach until he reached the waistband of her sweatpants. He slowly slipped them off of her, his touch leaving trails of goose bumps down her legs. He spread her knees, kissing the inside of her thighs, causing her to let out a small moan. He smiled, coming back up to kiss her lips, pressing his body against hers. She could feel him getting hard and reached down to unbutton his pants. He helped her take them off, both of them moving slowly, savoring every second, memorizing every slight touch between them. They had gotten their eagerness out the night before and they had no intentions of rushing this time. Slipping one another's underwear off, they kissed each other passionately.

"So beautiful..." He whispered into her, his lips never leaving her skin. She moaned as she ground her hips into his, making sure he was ready.

"Fuck." He groaned into her neck.

They hardly left any space between them, savoring every touch, tasting the salty sweat on one another. He finally went inside of her, causing her to gasp and arch her back up into his body. They rocked slowly, bodies moving in unison. Her breath was hot against his neck, one hand tangled in his hair, and the other digging into his back. His breathing was hitched, letting out low groans with every thrust. She was clawing at his back, wrapping her legs around his waist again, her toes curling in pleasure. Dean was letting out broken moans, thinking only she had the power to make him so weak. The feeling of their bodies touching was electric; they covered each other with kisses. She nibbled his ear and spoke pleadingly into it.

"Don't stop, please." Her breathless pleading only turned him on more, coaxing him up to his climax.

"Aw, fuck, baby." He said, slightly throwing his head back. Her breathing grew more rapid and her begging continued until her orgasm tore violently through her body. Her loud yells were enough to put him over the edge and he cried out into her shoulder, clenching his fists and biting her slightly as he held her body close to his. They laid on top of each other for a few minutes, catching their breath.

"Damn" she exhaled as Dean rolled over onto his back. She turned on her side, slipped under his arm and he held her protectively.

"If this is what I get coming back from purgatory, hell, I'll go more often"

She laughed at him, gently kissing his pec and humming softly to herself.

"That's how I got to sleep at night while I was down there you know. I imagined you singing to me."

He was one of the few people that had ever heard her sing, and pretty much the only one besides Kacey she let listen to her willingly. She didn't think she was any good but when Dean heard her sing with Kacey and Jo when they had first started dating, he had her sing to him constantly. Some nights he would rifle through her song journal, asking her to play certain ones. She was still so self-conscious of it, but he could listen to her voice all day.

"Now who's the sappy one?" she teased. He laughed and kissed the top of her head.

"It's true though" she felt his body stiffen slightly. "It was... God it was awful down there. But I knew I had to get out. Get back to you guys..."

She moved up slightly and kissed him gently, releasing the tension in his body.

"It's ok, cause you're back now. That's all that matters. You made it back to me."

"I always do." He kissed her again, savoring the taste of her lips and sighed. "You make me way too sappy, you know that?"

She laughed and laid her head on his chest.

"I don't make you anything; I simply bring the inner romantic out of you." He could see her sly smile even without looking at her face.

"Yeah, whatever." He said, closing his eyes and pulling her close.

She started humming again, tracing little circles on his chest. He ran his fingers through her hair, thankful that he was able to do this again. There were plenty of nights in purgatory that he didn't think he would ever make it back. Back to his brother, a girl that was now basically his younger sister, and his girl. The only girl that had ever been able to make him feel like he mattered, like he was more than his past. More than a dropout, more than a guy with a dead beat dad and a dead mother, more than some hunter. He knew how lucky he was too, hunters aren't supposed to get happy endings. Living in a stable place with his brother and their respective girlfriends with an angel popping in every now and again, it wasn't normal, but he couldn't care less. For the first time in his life, he and Sammy were both happy, and that was all that mattered. And as he listened to her adorable little snore that he loved and slowly drifted off to sleep himself, that was the last word that lingered on his mind. Lucky.

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I'm running out of material! Before I started posting I had all of this stuff already written, my supply is running low. Thanks for reading, if you guys have ideas for scenes you want, please let me know!