This chapter contains underage drinking, smoking and of course vulgar language. You've been warned.

June 23rd, 72 days ago

"Tell me again why we're going?"

She leaned up against his bedroom doorway. Her blond hair in a side braid, her lips coated in a clear gloss. She wore a black and white striped crop top with long sleeves, accompanied by a smooth black leather skirt with fishnets and suede black boots. Libby had picked her outfit. Cindy hated it. She didn't even want to go to this stupid party, but somehow Jimmy convinced her it would be fun.

Ugh. Betty Quinlan and fun should never be associated in the same sentence.

Jimmy pulled on his favorite dark blue jacket. Underneath was a simple black tee with blue jeans. His reflection in the tall bedroom mirror taunted her. "It might be entertaining."

Cindy scoffed. "If you wanted entertaining, we could have just gone to the movies, or to the dock or literally anywhere else."

Jimmy laughed as he turned around. His hair falling slightly into his eyes. It was getting long again, Cindy noticed. "Oh come on, it'll be fun."

Sure, Cindy thought. Watching Betty pine over you. So Fun.

He made his way over to where she was standing, a smirk playing at his lips. "Besides, you didn't get dressed up all pretty for nothing."

Cindy just looked at him. Her smile contradicted her words. "Shut the fuck up."

He didn't respond, but she heard his chuckle behind her as she turned and made her way downstairs.

It was a beautiful summer night. The night sky covered with thousands of stars. They rode to Betty's house in silence, but Cindy couldn't help but smile as she continued to catch him looking at her.

Maybe her outfit wasn't so bad.

The house was huge. No surprise since Betty was one of the richest girls in Retroville. Her family owned multiple businesses and properties. She never stopped bragging about it. The entire first floor was flooded with teenagers. Lights that blinded Cindy as soon as she walked in. The air was significantly warmer inside. Hot. Sticky. It smelled like cigarettes and alcohol.

Jimmy looked over at Cindy. "At least we know there's booze."

Cindy laughed. "So that's why you wanted to come."

"Come on, I'm a goody two-shoes all year long." He started to make his way through the crowd, Cindy followed closely behind. "Cut me a break."

They made it all of three feet into the party before she heard her voice.

"Jimmy! You made it!"

She brushed by Cindy as if she wasn't even there at all. Her eyes looking Jimmy up and down. "I knew you would come."

She wore the most revealing outfit Cindy had ever seen. Her breasts practically popping out of the tight red bandeau. A matching mini skirt that rode up her thighs and tall high heel boots that only a stripper would wear. Her hair was the only thing simple about her look. Half up, half down with short bangs that fell into her brown eyes.

Someone is clearly trying too hard.

Jimmy smiled politely, a nervous chuckle from his lips. "Yeah, thanks for inviting me."

Betty grabbed his hand and began to lead him away. "You have to try this new wine my dad just got. It's so good!"

Jimmy looked back to Cindy apologetically as betty dragged him away. He opened his mouth, but is voice was lost in the music. Cindy stood there, alone, and already fuming at her dark-haired rival.

"Wow." She mumbled to herself. "What a fun party."

It had been almost 30 minutes since Jimmy was whisked away by the venomous snake that was Betty fucking Quinlan. 30 minutes of Cindy sitting alone on a white leather couch, her patience slowing deteriorating. Nick Dean was sitting next to her, a cigarette in one hand and a glass filled with black liquor in the other.

"You sure you don't want some?" He offered her a sip, a strand of his dark hair falling in front of his face.

Cindy rolled her eyes. "I'm good, thanks."

He offered again, this time more encouraging. "You sure? It's Black Sambuca, taste just like black licorice."

"Why would anyone like that?" Cindy shook her head

Nick shrugged. "It's an acquired taste."

You're an acquired taste, she thought silently to herself. Cindy sighed, her arms now folding over her chest.

"Smoke?" He nodded to the pack of Marlboros on the glass coffee table in front of them.

"No thanks."

Nick chuckled. "Come on, Blondie. It's a party. Live a little."

Cindy ignored him. Her eyes scanning the room for any sign of Jimmy. Now she was pissed. He was the one that wanted to go to this party. He was the one that convinced her to come. He was the one who said it would be fun. He was the one who told her they would just watch from a far as all their classmates got shitfaced.

Yet he was nowhere to be found.

How could he just leave her? How could he just let Betty take him away? Cindy dwelled on all of the how could he's. She dwelled on the fact that Betty just waltz up and took him away. She dwelled on the fact that her tits were bigger than hers and her make-up looked more cohesive. She dwelled on the fact that Jimmy probably only ever wanted to come to this stupid party, just so he could be with her.

Cindy's right leg bounced up and down, beyond irritated. Her cheeks turning red from the heated air. Her french side braid getting frizzy.

And that's when she saw it.

Far, in the back corner of the room, she saw him. His blue jacket was gone. His hair even darker in the shadows. The music was loud in Cindy's ears, but it was as if she didn't hear it at all. It was then that Cindy realized he wasn't alone. No. She was there with him. Pushed up on her tippy toes, her hands cradling his jaw. Her red lips were on his, her tongue down his throat.

Cindy broke.

She turned quickly towards Nick and snatched his black liquor out of his hand. Before he could even protest, she downed the whole glass, handing it back to him empty. Reaching swiftly forward, she grabbed the pack of cigarettes and placed one between her teeth. The flame burning her thumb as she flicked the lighter to life.

She inhaled. She waited. She exhaled.

"Damn Blondie," Nick examined the empty glass. "You good?"

Betty pulled back, but the shadows shaded the expression on Jimmy's face.

Cindy laughed. "Yeah." She leaned back into the white sofa, taking another drag of her cigarette. "I'm just fucking peachy."

September 3rd, Present Day

"What is that?"

She sighed, her hands fiddling in her lap. She sat criss-crossed on her bed. The breeze from her bedroom window was warm, but Cindy felt cold. 5:30 had come far to quick. She wasn't ready. She glanced over at the house across the street. Jimmy was most likely in the lab. He always goes down to the lab after school. And if this was a normal day, she would have gone with him.

But nothing about today was normal. Nothing about today was routine, as Cindy sat silently on her bed with a pretty wooden box out in front of her. Her best friend getting antsy as she stood across the room. Secret. She had promised her a secret. A secret in which she was now, completely regretting that she had ever even brought up. She should have never even opened her mouth.

But Cindy Vortex has been making a considerable amount of bad decisions lately.

"It's a box."

Libby rolled her eyes, "Well, I guessed that part, I meant what's inside?"

Libby sat next to her, her short black braids falling casually over her shoulder. Her sweet perfume settling in the air. This felt familiar to Cindy. It was almost like when they were kids. When Libby would come over for sleepovers and they would stay up talking for hours. Talking about everything and everyone. Giggling until 2 AM with snacks spread out on the bed. With flashlights and music and ice cream and nail polish.

It had been awhile since those days. Libby had been so busy as of late. With work, and Sheen and her CNA training, they barely even saw each other this past summer. It was hard for Cindy. She missed her best friend, she missed her so much, but she understood that they weren't kids anymore. She understood that Libby had responsibilities now. She knew that eventually things would change. Change was inevitable, but it didn't make things any easier.

But none of that mattered as Libby sat next to her. None of that mattered as her best friend waited patiently for her response. No matter how long they were apart, or how long they went without seeing each other, Libby would always be her best friend. That was the one thing that would never change.

Cindy reached for the box, and handed it to Libby. "Open it."

Libby arched an eyebrow. "Now I'm scared."

"Just open it, Libby."

Libby didn't hesitate, she was never good at surprises. She opened it. Cindy didn't watch. She couldn't watch. She kept her head down as Libby undid the clasp and pulled open the top.

The room was silent until Libby spoke.

"Girl?"

"Yeah?"

"Is this real?"

Cindy kept her head down.

"Yeah." A whisper. "Yeah, it's real."

She heard Libby sigh and that's when she looked up. The box was in her lap, but it was empty. The small piece of plastic lighty held between her fingers. The two girls just looked at each other. The pink lines looked darker than yesterday.

And then Cindy cried.

"Oh fuck, Cindy."

Libby held her as she cried. Cradling her head against her chest. Her hand unconsciously brushing through her hair. She held her best friend, like a mother would hold their child. Precious. Comforting. Cindy never had that. Her mother was always cold. Distant. Harsh.

She held onto Libby as if she were afraid she would leave. As if she would disappear into thin air. But Libby wasn't going anywhere. Not when her best friend needed her most.

It wasn't until Libby's phone rang for Cindy to pull away and wipe her eyes.

"It's Sheen." Libby said as she declined the call.

"Why didn't you answer it?" Cindy's voice was weak from all of the crying.

"Because this is more important."

Cindy turned to look out the window. The sun had completely set. His bedroom light was on, but she couldn't see him.

Libby noticed her staring. "Does he know?"

"No." Her answer was immediate.

Libby chose her words carefully. "It is his, right?"

3 heartbeats passed before Cindy responded. "Yes."

Libby shook her head. "I didn't even know you guys were together."

Cindy turned back to Libby. "We're not."

Libby rose an eyebrow. "But—"

"It's complicated." Cindy cut her off.

"Ain't it always with you two?" Cindy didn't respond, she seemed lost in thought, playing with the sleeves of her hoodie. Libby scooted closer to Cindy, her own hand coming to rest on her shoulder. "Everything's gonna be ok, Cin."

Cindy chuckled. Her cheeks hurt from the tears. Her eyes looked exceptionally green. "Everything's fucked."

"No," Libby argued. "Everything is not fucked."

"How?" Cindy scoffed, the uncertainty in her voice causing tears to build up behind her eyes.

Libby took Cindy's face her her hands. Her brown eyes looked like melted chocolate on a hot summer day. "Because you are Cindy—motha fuckin—Vortex. The girl who can make bitches cry with just a glance in their direction. The girl that got a black Belt in Karate by the age of 7. The girl that kicks so much ass every single fuckin day. The girl that can overcome anything."

Tears spilled over Cindy's already irritated cheeks. Her voice barely intelligible between sobs. "I'm so glad you're my best friend."

Libby nodded her head, her own tears falling. She pulled Cindy close again, the two girls crying in unison. Muffled between sobs, Libby replied.

"Me too."

June 23rd, 72 days ago

The world was spinning. Her makeup smudged from the hot sticky air. She could hear them chanting her name. A rhythm that seemed to overpower the basting music from the speakers. She stood on the living room table, a bottle of Sambuca in her hand. Her head tilted back as the black liquor poured down her throat. As the bottle became empty, they all cheered. Throwing their hands in the air, clapping and whistling and praising her.

So this is what if feels like to be popular, thought Cindy.

She spun in a circle before taking a bow, Nick Dean nodding in approval. She lost her balance as she tried to step down. She braced herself for the hard impact of the polished wooden floors, but it never came.

She felt him catch her, but she refused to look at him.

"I've been looking everywhere for you." Jimmy helped her up, the smell of him never enticed Cindy more.

"Well, you found me." She hiccuped. She looked like a mess right now. Her braid practically completely undone. She regained her balanced and looked up to see his blue eyes watching her. He looked concerned.

Cindy didn't care.

"What's the matter?" She got close to him, her breath teasing his lips. "Did you get bored of her?"

Jimmy sat there for a moment. Cindy could see the wheels turning behind his eyes, trying to make sense of her words. She could hear the other's talking behind her. She could only imagine the rumours she would wake up to tomorrow morning. Just as Cindy was about to walk away, she felt him grab her hand and began to lead her away. His voice, hoarse. "Come on, lets go."

"Excuse me?" She slurred.

"You're drunk. We're going home."

"What? N—no. No I'm...I'm fine." She argued, trying to pull away. He was much stronger then her. She never realized until just now as he dragged her through the front door.

The air was cool outside. It felt nice against her sweaty skin.

"Let go!" She pulled her arm free. They were standing in the middle of the street. His car parked on the other side.

"Cindy, come on. I'm trying to be patient with you."

"Patient!?" Her voice rose, but her speech was still uneasy. "You say that as if I—I'm the one in the wrong!"

Jimmy sighed, irritated. "I'm just trying to get you home."

"Well maybe, I don't wanna go home." She spat. "Maybe, I just wanna sit here."

And she sat down. Right in the middle of the street, the music from the Betty's mansion now drowned out behind her. She sat criss-crossed underneath the streetlight. Her skirt hiking up her thighs, her fishnets getting caught on the concrete below her.

Jimmy shook his head, chucking in disbelief. "Fine. Stay here then."

He walked way, leaving her sitting alone in the road. He got in his car, the engine purred to life. He wasn't actually going to leave her, but Cindy didn't know that. Cindy couldn't tell if he was serious or not, not in her current state of mind.

A frustrated sigh pushed past her lips. She was sitting in the passenger seat 10 seconds later.

They rode in silence. His eyes fixed on the road, her arms folded over her chest, a pout on her lips. He was mad. Cindy could tell. And the more she thought about it, the more angry she got. Why was he mad? As if he had any reason to be upset. He was not the one who got pushed aside. He was not the one who got drunk in front of their entire class. He was not the one who chugged 3 bottles of Sambuca. He was not the one who made a complete and utter ass of himself.

He was not the one who had his heart broken.

So why the fuck, was he mad?

Cindy had held her tongue the whole drive, but she couldn't take it anymore. She needed to know.

"Why did you kiss her?"

The question threw Jimmy off. His head turning questionably towards Cindy.

"What?"

"You heard me." Her voice was cold. "Why did you kiss her?"

Jimmy had pulled up in front of her house, but she made no signs of moving until he answered.

"I didn't kiss her." He shook his head, his eyes meeting hers. "She kissed me."

Cindy laughed. "You are such a—a fucking liar."

"Why do you think I'm lying?" He shot back.

"Because I saw you!" Her voice was like poison. "I fucking s—saw you with her! Her tongue was all the way down your throat."

Something clicked with Jimmy as she spat her words in his direction. Realization overcoming his features.

"You're jealous."

Cindy scoffed, baffled. "Jealous?!" She exclaimed. "Why the fuck would I be jealous of that stupid fucking whore?"

"Why are you acting like this then?" Jimmy questioned. "It's the only logical answer."

She laughed, her chest hurt from all the smoke she inhaled earlier. "Logical!? Why would y—you even think that me, being jealous of her, would ever be logical? Why would I ever fucking care about her?"

There were tears streaming down her face, but Cindy didn't care. She was done with this conversation.

Jimmy just stared at her.

"Whatever." The tears came harder. The alcohol made it worse. "It doesn't matter. I don't even know why I'm upset." She pushed open the car door, getting out in the most ungraceful way possible. Her skirt was up way too high. Her shirt riding up her back, almost the point where her bra was showing. She called over her shoulder, using the back of her hand to wipe her eyes. "Thanks for the ride home."

She made it all of 4 steps before hearing his car door open.

"What if I told you I didn't kiss her back."

Cindy stopped, her head still buzzing from the alcohol. His words catching her off guard. She turned then, her eyes meeting his in a stare that made her chest heavy. It made her lightheaded, and she could swear, it wasn't from the liquor.

"I'd say you're a liar." Her voice was soft, breathy.

Jimmy took a step closer. "It's not a lie. It's the truth."

Cindy shook her head, unconvinced. "You've been in love with Betty Quinlan since the 5th grade. You finally get a chance to be with her, and you want me to believe that you didn't take it?"

She expected Jimmy to retort something, anything—but all he did was look at her. He looked at the pink in her cheeks, the way the moonlight made the freckles across her nose so much more prominent. The way her messy braid hung over her shoulder, the way her chest rose and fell with every uneasy breath. The way she stood there, so completely oblivious to what was right in front of her.

"Yes."

He was even closer now, his voice barely a whisper, but Cindy could hear him. His eyes illuminated by the streetlight, she had never seen them this blue.

"Why?"

It was Cindy that moved closer.

"Because I don't want her."

Another step.

"How? She's beautiful. Perfect. How could not want her?"

His hands cupped her jaw, his thumb unconsciously brushing over her lips.

"Because she's not you."

And he kissed her.

She tasted like black licorice, but Jimmy didn't care.

This had only happened once before. Once, 3 years ago, in the middle of the woods on a warm summer day. Cindy remembered the kiss, so perfectly. It was the only time she had ever really kissed him. The only time her lips ever really parted with his, the only time she had ever really felt his body against hers—

Three years ago, and it had only happened once—

But this—this was nothing like she remembered.

Her lips fit together with his perfectly, as if they were always meant to do this. Her hands were in his hair—god, she never realized how much she had missed this. His hands moved from her jawline to her neck, then to her shoulders, then to the small of her back where his fingers brushed against her bare skin. She was so soft, he couldn't stop touch her. She shivered, but it wasn't from cold. He was so warm. She wanted more, she needed more.

Her own hands moved to his jawline, holding him in a way that was so delicate, almost as if she were afraid he would shatter to a million pieces if she wasn't careful. The kiss was frantic, it was needy, it was everything she didn't realize she needed until she felt his hands grip her hips—

And then it was over.

He drew back slowly, his breath ghosting her lips, his hands slowly leaving her bare skin. She missed his warmth almost immediately. She looked up to see him already staring at her. His dark lashes making the blue in his eyes look like the sky on a cloudless day.

"I'm sorry," he moved away even further—no, no, no, come back, thought Cindy. Her hands dropping from his neck. "I shouldn't have done that."

"No, it's—" She stumbled over her words."It's fine, really."

Silence.

"I should go inside—"

"Right, yeah. You—," he seemed just as breathless as she did. "You probably should. Before your mother wakes up….and...and sees you….out here."

Neither of them moved.

"Do you want me to walk you to your door?"

"No, I—I think I can manage."

Cindy turned back towards her house. Her front porch was dark except for the small lamp that illuminated the door. The stars were particularly bright tonight, she noticed. If she looked closely, she could see the milky way.

"Cindy."

She heard his voice and she melted at the sound. There was something about the way he said her name that drove her crazy. She turned back slightly, holding onto the porch railing as she twisted her body to see him. He looked nervous. Jimmy Neutron never looked nervous.

"I meant what I said. You know that, right?"

All she had to do was tell him. She could have ended everything, right there. Ended all the what if's, and maybe's, and what could have been's. All the running, all the hiding, all the pretending….All she had to do was tell him what she's always known since the beginning. Just three measly little words, and they could finally, finally, move forward.

But something in Cindy kept holding her back. She knew how she felt about him, she's always known, but she couldn't say it. She couldn't admit it, whether it was to herself or the universe, every time it came to this she couldn't bring herself to do it. She choked, every time. Her breath caught in her throat, her lips dry.

And maybe it would always be this way. Maybe she would never actually tell him. Maybe they were always meant to be just a dream, just a fantasy, just a rumor people would talk about when they were bored. Maybe it was supposed to be this way.

Or maybe, just maybe, Cindy Vortex was just afraid.

"I know." She knew he deserved so much more than an I know, but the alcohol was making her drowsy. She could barely even stand up straight.

Jimmy knew what she meant. He's always known. He's gotten use to this cycle they've somehow fallen into. He's gotten use to these moments they shared. He watched her turn back and enter her house, the door closing quietly, careful not to wake up her mother.

He stood there a for a moment, before looking up to the sky. His car was still running. The sound of the engine softy echoing through the summer wind. It was then that he knew, as he stood there silently staring up into the sky.

"Fuck," he whispered to himself. "I love you."