Chapter 4 - J

A/N Hello all. For this chapter if you want to skip the description of how Harley got her scar please skip the italics (from "The Joker had..." to "...joy, lust pleasure..."). Reviews, favourites and follows are much appreciated ;) enjoy this chapter!

Harley POV

I stared at the peculiar marking on my thigh. The letter was carved in such a manic way that it seemed like a child had done it. The puckered tissue was healthy and had healed well, but the wobbly scrawl I was still in shocking and horrifying. I traced the numb flesh with my fingers, trying to remember when the Joker had given it to me. I concentrated, the hot water willing me to remember.

The Joker had told me he would be going away for a few days on business. He had told me not to worry and he had told me not to do anything stupid. Whilst he had been gone I had tried to behave myself but my thoughts kept wondering back to him and what he was up to. Had he left me for some other woman? The thought panicked me, sickened by thought of him not being by my side, especially if he was by someone else's. Who could it be? I had to find a way to make him see that I was his, no one else's and the only person other than Batman who could satisfy him. The Joker was scheduled to be back by 8pm, I looked at the clock, it was 7:20 now, I had to think of something quickly to show my affection.

I ran to the wardrobe, throwing the doors opening and rummaging through it's contents, but nothing spoke to me, I wanted to make him feel special. I recalled a conversation we'd. We were lying in bed, just gazing at one another,

"You're skin is so perfect, Harls. It's so smooth and unscathed. It's too perfect, so perfect in fact that it makes me want to slice it open just so you could stop being so damn beautiful." His tone was caring, and I'm sure he meant well, but his eyes told another story. He envied my looks. He wanted to have what I had, and if it were possible I would give it to him without hesitation or questioning.

"You're perfect too, Puddin'." I said, stroking the side of his face, tracing his extended smile delicately and smiling lovingly at him, "You owe yourself so much more credit than you give yourself." I looked into his eyes as he stared at me, unbelieving.

"Prove it. Prove to me that you love me." He said. I held on to moments like this; his guard was completely down allowing me to see him as the man behind the makeup. Slowly, I tilted my head towards his, placing feather light kisses to his scars, one by one, watching him close his eyes at my touch. Then I kissed his lips, those full lips that were the lips of an angel. He didn't respond to my actions, and when I opened my eyes I had realised something, he had fallen sleep.

So now I knew what I had to do. Going into the bathroom I frantically searched for something sharp. Funnily enough, for someone who lives with a murderous psychopath with a thing with knives it took me longer than I would've liked to find the razor blade. When I got hold of it I practically jumped for joy, Mistah J would just love this! I sat myself on the side of the bath tub, razor blade in hand, I took a long breath to steady my shaking hands and then brought the blade closer to the skin on my inner thigh. It was the perfect place for it. It was a place that only Mistah J would ever really see; it symbolized how much I truly was his. Just before the blade touched my skin I heard a squeak of a door handle, the shouts of victory coming from the boys. They were back early. Hurriedly I sunk the razor into my thigh, hot red liquid flowing out from the wound. I gasped, not realising that pain wasn't pleasurable unless the Joker caused it, and speedily finished my masterpiece.

As my eyes observed the blood seeping from my leg I felt the pain rip through the shock and began to hyperventilate. I could here footsteps echoing through the apartment as I grabbed a towel and held it to my leg. The fabric of the towel rubbed painfully against my cut, causing me to cry out. Tears were now falling freely from my face as I cradled my leg. I sank to the floor, unable to hold myself up from shaking so violently.

That's when the Joker burst through the door. I beamed at him through the burning pain in my leg, holding my arms out to him like a baby. Looking mortified, he lifted the towel gingerly from my leg, gazing at the mess on my tortured limb. Once he had realised what I had done to myself he smiled, before laughing frenziedly. I tried to laugh too but the chuckles turned into choking sobs when the pain flared again. The Joker stopped to look at me, noticing my discomfort. He leaned over me precariously to turn on the bath tap. He sat on the toilet seat and dragged me into his life.

"Now, Harl, whatever have you done to yourself, hmm?" He asked, stroking my hair. I peeked up at him, and noticed that he was biting the scars on the inside of his mouth to keep himself from laughing again. The self-control he had to make me feel better! This man had to love me!

"I cut your initial into my leg because you're leaving me for someone else!" I cried, clinging on to him, "I remember you saying that you wanted me to be less perfect, so I did this to stop you from being sad." I started to kiss his face, everywhere I could reach, discarding the greasepaint that left a weird taste in my mouth.

"Why would you think I was leaving you, Harley? I said I was coming back. I was early for Pete's sake!" He chuckled and applied pressure to my leg through the towel, to stop the bleeding. I hissed and bit his neck to keep me from crying out, causing him to groan. He then lifted me up and put me in the bath, the cool water lapping at my laceration. He turned off the tap and scooted towards me on the bathroom floor. I reached for a hand towel and began to gently clean my leg. I was still in my underwear. The water was stained a peculiar colour, like blood orange juice, by the time he had finished washing me, then he drained the bathwater and told me to stay where I was.

He came back seconds later with various objects, I noticed the needle first. I started to panic again, but he just hushed me gratingly. Once again he pulled me into his lap.

"Now don't you worry, Harls. I've stitched myself up enough times to know how to do it properly." He gave a small smile before concentrating intensely on stitching me up. "I've got ice here that'll numb the pain a little, Harl." He paused for a second, "Just don't look, ok?" I nodded, focusing solely on his face. He put a bag of ice on my skin, the shock of the cold ice and his rough hand making contact with my wound causing me to jump and gasp harshly.

"Harls, try your best to stay still, huh?" the Joker warned,

"Okay, Mistah J." I whispered, we sat for a few moments with baited breath,

"There's a good gal. Now can you feel this?" He prodded the area around my cut.

"It's numb Puddin'." I said, staring at his face rigidly, a single tear threatening to escape. He glanced at me, hearing the shake in my voice. Then very slowly he leaned closer to me and placed a soft kiss on my lips. I reciprocated, leaping it gentle, I felt the alien sensation of the Joker pushing the needle into my skin, and I closed my eyes as he turned his head back to his work. I leant my head in the crook of his neck, taking in the scent that could not belong to anyone else but him. It made me feel safe, at home and like nothing could ever harm me again. I felt him rummage around for something, and then felt the pressure of a tightly bound bandage on my leg.

"All done." He said simply, before very carefully picking me up.

I clung to him like a koala bear, as he rubbed my back soothingly. He placed me on the bed, gently peeling off my soaked underwear and grabbing some fuzzy pyjamas for me. He climbed in next to me, not bothering to get changed; he slid to my side, sliding his arm under my head to hug me.

"Listen to me, Harls. You are the only girl for me. You were the first person to love me, and the only person in this crazy world that will love me the way you do. It may sound selfish but I would rather die than live without the way you make me feel." He caressed my face, so softly, so soft in fact that you could hardly compare this hand to the one that had somehow taken countless lives. "But I promised you when you first got me out of Arkham that I would not let anybody hurt you, and believe it or not that does include yourself, and if you ever do something like this to yourself again, not only will you have to stitch yourself up, but you'll probably have a nice set of bruises to match it, you followin' me, Babydoll?" I stared at his ever-serious face; he didn't like what I'd done. All that trouble I'd been through, all the pain I'd caused so that he could be proud of me! My bottom lip started to quiver, and I bit it to stop me from crying again. Somehow he still managed to notice. I was upset, and he rested his forehead against mine.

"I'm only saying this because I care, I never want you to think about hurtin' yourself again." He said.

"I did it for you, Puddin'." I said cautiously, he caressed my cheek.

"I know you did, Baby Girl, but it's not like I asked you to. If anyone hurts you, it should be me, because I'll only ever do it out of love." He murmured. Ok so he didn't actually say he loved me, but he wasn't far off. I smiled brightly at him, and he pulled me in tightly to his chest and kissed me. It was a rough, passionate kiss and I could feel myself being dragged under by the tumult of different emotions washing over me; pride, joy, lust, pleasure…

"Harley, what you doin' in there?" The Joker yelled from the other side of the shower door. The water had turned cold as I was wrenched from my stupor. I was shaking like a leaf and an uncomfortable ache had settled itself in the pit of my stomach. Quickly turning off the tap I started to reach for the door when I remembered that I didn't have a towel.

"Um, J? I don't have a… a towel." I called through the glass. I heard him sigh heavily but then leave, almost silently if it wasn't for his feet on the tiles. After a moment he came back, he sauntered over to the door and whooshed the shower door open, shoving a fluffy towel towards me, which I swiftly wrapped around my slim frame. Cautiously I stepped out, taking the Joker's outstretched hand so that I wouldn't slip. I noticed he'd changed into a pair of purple trousers with suspenders during the time I was in the shower, but his chest, and face I discovered, were bare. I looked at his naked upper body, tracing the scars and the powerful yet subtle muscles that covered his body with my eyes. He caught me staring and cleared his throat sheepishly,

"You were, uh, in there for a long time, eh Harls? What were you up to?" He looked heavily uncomfortable.

"I was… reminiscing. About the, uh, the time I did…" I motioned towards the J scarring my thigh. He nodded.

"Is it healing well?" I nodded, moving the towel to reveal the jagged flesh beneath the fabric. Moving slowly, the Joker reached out a hand to toy with the letter forever embedded on my body. He smiled softly, transfixed by my pale, imperfect skin. I felt myself gravitating towards him, unable to stop the pull I felt towards him. Before the Joker, before my life was taken completely off track, I had never really experienced love. Of course I'd had my friends and family, but other than a few high school crushes no one was ever really interested in me. Not that I minded that much, I was too consumed by my work, trying to work my way up Arkham's slippery ladder. Arkham… what was it that the Joker had said to me?

"…when you first got me out of Arkham…"

I choked on the air and stumbled a bit, falling against the wall of the bathroom. The Joker followed me, slamming his fist into the wall.

"Just when I thought we were getting somewhere, what is it now, Harley? Is my hair the wrong shade of green or something?" He was getting mad, so I smoothed his chest, stroked his naked cheek, hushing him hurriedly.

"No, there's nothing wrong, I just remembered something you said. About me breaking you out of Arkham?" I looked at him, hoping he got the hint to elaborate on my point.

"Yeah, I did say that didn't I?" He mused, "You did well, Babycakes. Don't think I would've made it our of there for a while if it hadn't been for my precious girl." He smiled at me warmly, his eyes lighting up. The suddenly he brought his lips to mine. I admired him for lasting this long, from what I can remember I used to give the Joker all of my attention, and he seemed like someone who needed it constantly in order to feel appreciated. His soft, full lips were slow and sweet-tempered. I was caught off guard and after the recollection I'd just had in the shower I was hardly in the mood for retaliation.

I wound my arms around his neck, pulling him closer to me. His lips knew how to please mine, but due to the mental block in my mind felt like I was expecting it all for the first time all over again. It was a glorious, his love for me radiating into my body. A feeling this strong couldn't possibly mean anything other than the fact that the Joker loved me, and at one point in my life I was madly in love with him too. I wanted to grasp on to it so hard that no matter what came at me I wouldn't ever lose it. The kiss was becoming deeper as the time passed, and was only interrupted by one of the Joker's bursting into the room.

"Boss, you might want to see this!" He cried, a panic-stricken look on his face.

"Can't you see I'm a little… busy?" The Joker growled, inches from my face. I untangled my hands from his hair and buried my face into his neck, embarrassed to have been caught in the act by one of the Joker's henchmen.

"I know Boss, I'm sorry it's just… The Bat- The Batman is on the news!" The goon looked terrified. At the mention of his nemesis the Joker became instantly alert, dragging me into the bedroom.

"Get dressed, Harley," he said urgently, letting go of my wrist, and then practically ran to the living room. I quickly put on a baby ble jersey and black yoga pants and made my way to the living room.

There were a few henchmen sitting down, eyes glued to the screen, waiting for more news on the Bat. Gotham Cable News reporter Jack Ryder appeared on the screen. The Joker held out an arm, beckoning me over to him, but he never took his eyes off the screen. I situated myself under his arm, which he placed snugly around my shoulder.

"And now, a recap of today's main news. Gotham's stock exchange was left shaken today after a masked man broke into the building and made transactions that could jeopardize the future of Gotham's economic prosperity."

The screen flashed with images of the group, and amateur shot by someone in the building. The most notable figure was a hulking giant who seemed in charge of the operation, a mask on his face, the intricate tubing making him look even more terrifying than I thought necessary.

"The man on the screen is not to be approached under any circumstances, he is extremely dangerous, but if you have any information on this man or today's hostage situation, the public has been encouraged by Gotham City Police Department to report anything that can be of help." I watched the Joker twitch his fingers absently, his grip on my arm becoming tighter as he anticipated the return of his greatest enemy.

"And in breaking news, police are investigating the alleged return of the Batman. The vigilante's vehicle was seen on Gotham's dual carriageway earlier this afternoon, in hot pursuit of the stock exchange vandals, but police are now investigating whether or not the Batman was in cohorts with these men and is continuing his reign of terror on our city, which he began eight years ago when he murdered assistant district attorney Harvey Dent. Will Gotham once again live in fear? Tune in tonight at an earlier time of 9:30PM for the latest on this story. That's all we have time for, next on GCTV is Wendy Bow with the weather. Thank you for watching Gotham Cable News, good night."

I watched the Joker as the credits ran on the screen, a look of pure joy and excitement across his features. His face was so foreign to me now, after constantly seeing him without makeup since I came to, that it took me back to Arkham all that time ago. How different things were back then…

"Is that it?" The Joker asked, grabbing the remote and flicking through the channels, keeping his eyes out for the Caped Crusader. After checking all the news channels, he turned off the TV and faced his men, ready to give them their missions.

"Well gentlemen, and gentle lady." He gave me a quick kiss on the cheek, "it seems we have our work cut out for us. Not one but two exciting new jobs for us. One, we find this masked man and his groupies and figure out what they are up to, and two, we catch ourselves a Bat. Anyone who isn't ballsy enough to… interact with these two powerhouses might as well leave now." There was a pause, no one dared move. "Good! You three go find leads on Mr. Mask and the rest of you, I want you looking for Batman. Come on Harls," he smirked, grabbing my wrist, "I believe we have some unfinished business to attend to." I blushed when he said this, glancing back to see whether any of the thugs had heard, but they were all talking amongst themselves, either too preoccupied with their task or just ignoring what the Joker had said to avoid getting beaten to a bloody pulp.

Joker pulled me into the bedroom, slamming the door behind him. Then without a word he pushed me up against it and started kissing me heatedly. The mixture of the feeling of his lips on my own and the force he'd used to push me into the door had me gasping for breath. His lips left mine, travelling along my jawline and then down to my neck. He bit playfully, causing me to whimper and moan, his arms wrapping around my waist, He picked me up, using his height to his advantage, forcing my legs to lock around his hips. He walked us over to the bed and lay me down.

"You know what those pants do to me, Harley." He growled, rubbing his hands along my thighs,

"Actually, Mistah J, I don't." I whispered. The Joker threw his head back and laughed,

"That's right, you don't, not with that darned memory of yours. But if I have my way with you I'll knock some sense into your pretty head." He ruffled my almost dry hair scruffily, then grabbed a fistful of it and yanked hard. I cried out, feeling heat travel to my scalp as he grabbed on to my blonde locks. He pulled my head so that my neck was fully exposed to him, and he kissed it, sucking and licking in all the right places. I moaned, an amalgamation of pleasure and pain sending my mind into a frenzy. The Joker didn't let go of my hair as he moved to straddle me. He began kissing me in various places that he knew I liked. As much as the sane part of me hated to admit, I was completely turned on by his rough foreplay. I clawed at his back, causing him to groan against the sensitive spot behind my ear, the vibrations driving me crazy.

"Joker…" No response, "Mistah J!" I said louder this time, my voice trembling slightly,

"Yeah Harleykins?" He looked up at me and I almost smiled at this new nickname, but instead I was just a little scared as to how he would react to what I wanted to say.

"This is wrong. I shouldn't be doing this." I tried to push past him but he shoved my shoulder down forcefully, pinning me to the mattress.

"Oh yeah? And why is that?" He brought his face close to mine, rage apparent in his eyes,

"I'm your doctor, it's completely against everything I've worked for…"

"Ha! Bullshit, Harls, heck after all I've taught you these past two magical years I might as well be your teacher, and although a teacher sleeping with a student is completely against the law, you do not see me complainin'. And judging by the gorgeous noises that just came out of your pie hole I'm pretty sure you weren't complainin' neither." He growled, staring at me with intensity I couldn't match if I wanted to. I just looked at him; unable to muster the words of courage I thought I needed.

"Beside," he grabbed my hands almost gently, "it's not like you never broken the law before, right?" He smiled, nudging my nose playfully with his finger, still clasping my hand tightly. Against my better judgment I giggled, kissing his hand softly.

"I suppose you're right, Puddin'" I sighed; he knew how to manipulate me too well. He grinned triumphantly and leant down to kiss me gently. This time I didn't hold back, and for the first time my tongue traced his lower lip, asking him for permission for me to take the upper hand. He opened his mouth for me and I took the opportunity to explore his mouth with my tongue, tasting every inch of him, paying special attention to the scars on the inside of his mouth, showing him that I didn't care about them, that I loved him despite his disfigured. I broke the kiss, but he carried on kissing me, my cheeks, my eyelids, my jaw.

"Puddin'? Look at me a sec." I pulled his face up to me and saw his lust filled gaze reach mine. His hands wildly running through my hair, tracing my features as he wanted for me to continue.

"I love you." I said softly, tracing his scars lightly. He just looked at me, for what seemed like forever, before he captured my lips again.

"I love you too, Harley Baby." He whispered and my heart, oh how my heart soared at his confession! I smiled at him warmly, and he returned it. Then he lid the strap of my top down my arm, making me shiver.

We lay in bed for a while, completely naked, and completely at ease. The past day was sinking in as we lay there, the mind-boggling fact that I had just slept with the Joker, for technically the first time, left me grinning like a fool. The Joker propped himself up against the headboard and held his arm out to me,

"C'mere, my Dear." He said with a chuckle, I didn't hesitate to join him, nestling myself between his warm chest and protective arm.

"Lemme tell ya' something, Baby Girl. How about I reintroduce you to some of your old buddies and maybe they'll jog your memory, hmm? Would my precious little girl like that?" He was stroking my arm calmingly, relaxing me. From what I can remember of our love life, Joker would normally sweet talk me after we'd had sex, probably because he was too distracted by me to worry about 'work' or Batman.

"Um, sure Mistah J, I think that would help, but can we do it some other time? I'm exhausted." I pouted, leaning into his chest.

"Ah, poor Harley! Is my darling all tuckered out?" He chuckled again, squeezing me lightly, "Of course we can, when you feel ready you let your good ol' Mistah J know and he'll see what he can pull out of his magician's hat. But for now I have work to do, you rest up, Sweetie." His tone dropped, "I'll get him this time, I'll think up the most brilliant and Bat-proof plan imaginable, then Bam! He'll drop like a fly!" I wasn't sure whether he was talking to me or himself, so I just replied with a simple "That's nice, Honey." Before I turned around and fell asleep. I heard him walk away, shutting the door quietly behind him.