Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke, Hatake Kakashi, Jiraya, Tsunade, Shizune, Sai, Uchiha Itachi, Uchiha Mikoto, and Deidara © Masashi Kishimoto

AU. The adventures of the Naruto gang in high school. SasuNaru, one-sided HinaSaku, more pairings to come.

"spoken" "text" 'thoughts/mouthing'

Naruto glared at the girls that hung off his boyfriend and grabbed Sasuke's hand. The girls looked at Naruto in a mixture of confusion and anger. "Let go of Sasuke's hand!" one shouted.

"No," came the cold response. "How about you all get the fuck off me?"

The girls looked now at the usually silent raven-haired teen in horror. "Sa-sasuke-kun?"

"And soon, so I can go to math."

All the girls slowly let go of the teen except for one. "What the fuck are you still doing here?" he asked brutally.

The girl looked at him shyly. "I have math this period too."

Naruto recognized her. "Hi Bara!"

"Hi Naruto! What are you doing walking with Sasuke-kun?"

"Going to math. What else would I be doing?"

"No, I mean..." her voice dropped to a whisper. "Holding hands?"

The dimwitted blond looked down at his and Sasuke's interlocked hands, and held them up a little, as if to get a better view. "Awww, we always hold hands, don't we, Sasuke-chan?" He ended this query by snuggling up to the apathetic raven's side.

Sasuke responded by smiling and blushing. Bara was still hanging off his shoulders, and slowly slid off with an expression of mixed horror and shock. The boys continued walking normally, and Sasuke stared dreamily at Naruto. Bara curled up into a little ball and slowly withered away as other students, also going to their classes, carefully avoided her. Tsunade and Shizune soon showed up at the scene to take away the withered husk of a girl.

The students filed into the small classroom, and were met by their teacher, visible eye folded into a happy crescent. They groaned as they sat down. If he was this happy, it could only mean one thing. "Test day!" the silver-haired math teacher exclaimed, holding up a small, pink book.

Excitedly, Kakashi passed out the tests. "Hmm? Is Bara-chan not here today?"

Naruto looked at Sasuke. "Wasn't she on your back?"

Sasuke shrugged in response. Another student raised his hand. "I think I saw Bara-san in the hall, Hatake-san! She was all curled up, and Tsunade-san and Shizune-san carried her off."

Kakashi stared at the student, then shrugged and continued passing out papers. Naruto's face fell as he realized the identity of the student: Sai. "Sasuke-teme, he's everywhere! And he's kinda creepy, too!"

After all the tests were passed out, Kakashi sat at his desk and put his feet up, continuing his book from where he left off. The pages gave off that hot-off-the-press smell that he loved, especially from Jiraya's books. It was barely ten minutes since Kakashi had passed out the tests when he heard the soft thunk thunk of sneakers on the floor. Looking up, he saw the passive, spiky-haired brunette Aburame Shino already passing in his test. As he made his way back to his desk, Shikamaru opened a sleepy eye. "Overachiever..." he muttered under his breath, just as he was hit with a chalkboard eraser. "Go back to work, Nara."

Shikamaru glared at his teacher. "You wanted it quiet, didn't you? So what should it matter what we do, as long as we're quiet?"

Kakashi gave him the Look. The patented Teacher Look that all teachers learn at teacher school. The "Because I'm the teacher and I said so" Look. Shikamaru rolled his eyes and muttered "Whatever. Arguing is too troublesome..."

And so Kakashi went happily back to his porn. Shikamaru reluctantly picked up his pencil and worked out the problems set before him. After class, Sai caught up with his new "friends." "Hi guys! I didn't know you two had math this period!"

Naruto gritted his teeth. "Yeah, we do," Sasuke covered for him, voice so dripping with politeness that it was obviously faked. But Sai didn't catch on to this. "So...what's up with Hatake-san? Why does he wear a mask and an eye patch?"

"He claims the eye patch is from his days as a pirate. The mask, however, is up for speculation. Naruto knows the theories."

Naruto looked at Sasuke excitedly. As much as he hated Sai, he loved telling the theories about Kakashi's face mask. "Well, theory one is that he's a devout Jainist, which I highly doubt because I've seen him order meat for lunch a lot. Theory two is that he's so attractive that he has to wear a mask to avoid being one of those teachers that ends up sleeping with their students. That one's a bit more believable. Theory three is the complete opposite. Theory three is that his face was horribly maimed and burned in a car crash or house fire or something, which also explains the eye patch more believably. Theory four is that he's a hypochondriac and doesn't want to catch some horrible disease from breathing the stale school air, but, really, I don't think so. He doesn't have the air of someone obsessed with their health." Naruto smirked. "But I've said too much already. There're other theories out there. You just need to find them yourself."

Naruto grabbed Sasuke's arm and the two walked off to their lockers. Outside, they met up with their friends and headed home. "Remember, Sasuke, I'm picking you up at 18.30."

They kissed and parted ways. Sasuke walked into his house. "Kon'nichiwa, Okaasan. Kon'nichi wa, Itachi-o-nii-san."

The teen did a double-take. There on the couch sat none other than his older brother, smirking at him. "Kon'nichi wa, Baka-a-nii-chan."

Sasuke stood there in shock. "Itachi, what are you doing home from college?"

"Internship at the police department for my class. Teacher sent me back to this shit-hole for some reason. I heard some friends of mine got sent here, too."

Sasuke looked at him. "Yeah. I've met one of them. Deidara, he's the student teacher in my art class." He sighed. "But I've gotta go clean up and change."

Itachi looked at him with that Meddling Older Brother glint in his eye. "Ooh, where're you going? Does my baby brother have a hot date?"

Sasuke threw a phone book at his older brother. "If you must know, yes."

"Aww, Sasuke-chan's growing up! What's her name?"

Their mother walked into the room with a plate of fresh onigiri. "Sweetie, don't you remember? Sasuke's gay," she said coolly, setting the platter down on the coffee table.

Itachi smirked, looking almost like he was trying to stifle a giggle. "Alright, then, what's his name?"

"Naruto," he said from halfway up the stairs.

At around 18.30, a knock was heard at the door. Mikoto opened it, Naruto stood in the doorway, in tight, light blue jeans and a bright orange track jacket with the red Konoha emblem on it. "Sasuke'll be down in a minute, hang on."

Mikoto went to the foot of the stairs. "Sasuke-chan, you're boyfriend's here!"

"Coming!" he called. Sasuke walked down the stairs in tight dark blue jeans with a large hole in one knee, a loose, girl-cut gray t-shirt, and a black choker necklace, smelling of Axe. Itachi looked at him. "Bro, your boyfriend's hot."

Sasuke ignored him and strode over to Naruto. Suddenly remembering that he forgot his wallet, he ran upstairs. Itachi walked over to Naruto and grabbed him by the collar of his jacket. "Take good care of Sasuke-baka-a-nii-chan, got it, punk?"

Naruto sweat-dropped nervously. "Alright, I'm ready to go." Itachi dropped Naruto. Sasuke pulled on his shoes and walked out the door with the kitsune.