Doing just like what his mother had told him, Arjuna took his fiancee for an apology date a few days later. They went to fancy restaurant and they went to the bridge to spend the rest of the night.
The night breeze were flowing on her long black hair. She was pretty, but she wasn't the one Arjuna wanted to see in this breeze. He wanted to see the hair color opposite of black.
"That night, did you went to you lover's place?" She asked after briefly glancing to her husband soon-to-be.
Arjuna was surprised with that question, in a bad way. Did she hired an investigator, or was she just guessing? Anyway, Arjuna had an image to keep up. "No, I was at my friend's."
"Really?" She suspiciously looked at him with a frowning smile. She looked away from the man, to the starry sky above. "It's okay. We're arranged for the sake of our family and lineage. There's no need to deny if you have your heart on someone else. Your mother had told me that you're quite a player."
Arjuna looked at the woman before slowly looking away. "Are you fine with that? Being married to someone you don't love just for the sake of the family?"
She chuckled a bit and answered the question. "I want to make my family happy. As long as they are happy, I am happy."
"That's a shallow way of thinking." Arjuna couldn't help but to say it that way.
"Is that so?" She glanced to Arjuna. "It doesn't matter what you think about it. I only choose what I think is the best for my family because I treasure them. Is your family worth less than your own desires?"
Arjuna felt complicated with this. This talk wasn't supposed to be talked in a date, moreover about another person when they were about to get married. But, she was the first one to do this talk with him.
"You're saying that you are okay if I had an affair behind your back?" Arjuna asked to stir the woman. If this could make her changer her decision and turning down the marriage, then it would be better.
"I don't mind it," She brushed it off easily. "An alpha with multiple partners is common in our society." She said as she put her hands on the bridge fence. "How about you? Do you mind if your partner have someone else other than you?"
That question hit him hard. Arjuna didn't like it when he thought about Karna having someone else. Even though he know it was physically impossible, but emotionally, Karna could still like someone else other than him. And that bothered Arjuna so much. "I don't like that idea." He answered the question.
"That's a shallow way of thinking," She used Arjuna's words back on him. "And very selfish too. Is that person fine with our marriage?" This woman's every words were too sharp. She dismantled layers of Arjuna's facade and called him shallow. She waited for Arjuna's answer, but he was silent as he looked onto the endless darkness in front of him.
She flipped her body and rested her lower back on the fence. "That's a yes. I see. You're a loved, aren't you?" She nodded as she raised her silk scarf to cover her shoulder from the cold breeze.
She was actually waiting for the whole time to see if Arjuna would put his suit on her. It was just a little test to see if the man was really into her or not. Turns out, he wasn't interested in her at all and was just faking his interest. She had noticed the man was often lost in his thoughts when they were together. Arjuna was thinking about someone else.
"How do you know?" Arjuna shrugged uncomfortably.
"I call it woman's instinct."
After that conversation, Arjuna couldn't just think of her just like the other women. In fact, he found her quite scary. Though, none of them decide to call off the marriage. Just like what she said before, she didn't mind him having an affair. She kept their conversation a secret. And Arjuna was just a coward. And instead of feeling better knowing that his partners were fine with him not being faithful, Arjuna felt even worse. They are supposed to hate me...
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Arjuna was a diligent worker despite of his bad reputation for being a player. He was good in his job and very smart in this part. Oh, his mother was so happy when he stopped playing around because of his engagement.
He sat on his office, he had been working for his brother in the company as vice-president. He and Yudhisthira were the only ones handling the family company. Their other brothers had their own life. Nakula was a doctor and Sahadeva was an astronomist. They got to choose what they want to be because they were the youngest and Arjuna had filled the position. Bhima was just unfit for desk work and he chose to be an athlete. He was a famous one. They were a family of big people. Their mother could never be prouder.
At first, Arjuna was also not very interested in joining his family's company and preferred to do computer engineering like his degree and hobby. But after their mother's begging, he reluctantly nodded. He didn't hate his job, but he doesn't like it either. It was just another thing given to him. A seat at high place. He paid no effort for this exclusive spot.
He looked at his wristwatch after he finished most of his work. I can go see Karna tonight. He thought and was delighted. He hadn't seen Karna for four days and he couldn't see him tomorrow because on Saturdays, he need to join the family dinner. Their mother wanted them to join together every weekend. And at Sunday, Arjuna had to see his fiancee. It was tonight, or Arjuna had to wait until Wednesday night because he had client dinner two days prior that. Or he could just go at Sunday midnight after sending his fiancee home.
Arjuna was about to leave the office when his mother called him, asking him to accompany her. She was invited to a friend's birthday party and she never went alone. She would often make her sons escort her turn by turn.
As a good son, there wasn't an excuse to refuse her. He just couldn't refuse whatever his mother asked him to do. He was his mother's beloved son and obedient puppet.
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Karna's day-offs were so painfully boring. Basically, he was doing nothing except for sleep, going to bookstore, eat, walking around, sightseeing, go home, eat, and sleep again. He wanted to go back to work soon, but he still had more day-offs that he had to somehow, pass through.
He already cleaned his room so throughout that there wasn't a single dust left. And all the old books, clothes, and stuffs he didn't use anymore were given away. He took it to the facility and also donated some for the orphanage children. It was never a bad thing to do charity.
Arjuna didn't come to see him for days as well. Karna was starting to miss that man. Not that he was horny, Karna just wanted to see him. Arjuna might had done so many bad things, but he was the only person that cared this much for Karna. Even bother taking care of him when he was sick. Guilt could be the reason, but he was the irreplaceable existence. At least for Karna, he was. I guess there's no need to worry about him.
He touched his nape, where this started. The physical wound had been long gone. Leaving only their invisible chains. If only we can be normal brothers... That kind of thought had passed in his had a lot of times. But, if it wasn't for this bond, He probably wouldn't even want to see me, huh?
Karna sat down at the fountain plaza. There weren't much people at four evening. Everyone was still working, and here, he was in his forced day-offs. Full of free time and nothing to do. He had sticked around ten hours a day in the book store that he had gotten kicked out and banned. Though, there were children running around the fountain and Karna was watching them.
It's just six more days to go. and so, Karna's inner self made a mental countdown everyday, looking forward the end of his day-offs. Who could had guessed day-off could be this boring? Enjoying holiday was a fat lie. For someone who spent most of his time working, day-offs was so boring.
He saw a stand selling takoyaki nearby and he fell straight on the trap.
He say down back on the fountain, and was about to eat his takoyaki when the kids looked at him. More precisely, on the takoyaki. So he simply let them have it. The kids looked happy and thanked him. "Thank you, ojii-chan!"
Karna felt very old. Making him more self conscious with his age. He wasn't angry though. Everyone will grow old someday. And the bond he had now will eventually fade away once he grew old enough. Then, Arjuna wouldn't have to see him anymore.
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In the end, Arjuna had to use the key he never used to enter before. Because he came at two at the morning after he drove his fiancee home. He couldn't knock because it would bother the neighbors. He did knock twice lightly, but Karna wasn't opening the door. So he had to use the key.
As expected, Karna was already under his covers. Arjuna sat at the bedside and brushed his fingers on the white hair and watched as the blue eyes slowly opened. "Sorry, didn't meant to wake you." Arjuna apologized and stopped touching him.
Karna sat up and looked at Arjuna. He didn't expect the man to come. The last time Arjuna came at midnight was when he was drunk. Karna closen his face to the man's body, he didn't smell like alcohol, though he did had the smell of the women perfume he had with him last time. Quite unpleasant but nothing extraordinary. Not the first time Arjuna smelt like women. As long as he didn't came with both alcohol and this smell combined, it was fine. "A date?"
"Yes..." Arjuna awkwardly nodded.
"Hm. That's good then," Karna said and he got up from the bed. He went to turn on the lights. He returned to the bed and sat beside the man, crossing legs. He faced Arjuna and watched the facial expression. The man was a bit troubled. Ever since his marriage date was decided, he had been restless. He didn't want to marry her but he know he couldn't refuse any longer. At least, with him getting married, their mother had stopped pestering him everyday.
Dating people and playing around was Arjuna's forte. He did it as an diversion from his own feelings. To run away from his past mistakes. Even though he knew being an asshole would not fix the mistakes. He regretted it now. He wished he hadn't done that and spend more time with Karna. Now, when his marriage date was decided, he had stopped playing around completely and he spend all his available free time visiting his mate. Surely, his guilt would kill him one day. Or at least drove him crazy. Or maybe he was already crazy.
"I'll use your shower and towel." Arjuna said and went to the bathroom. He sometimes would take shower here. Plus, he didn't to do his mate with a woman's scent on his body.
When he come out, he found Karna was eating a piece of bread loaf. Weird, but Arjuna found that scene very cute. Especially how bored Karna looked like as he chewed. His dead fish eyes were so bored that Arjuna felt like Karna was doing chores or something. Karna's flat face was pretty cute, not to mention he was beautiful. Though, Ajruna couldn't stare at him for too long. He would be reminded of his own mistakes again.
Karna finished his first piece and took another one from the plastic bag. He ate as he looked at Arjuna. "Oh, want some?" He asked while he still had the bread inside his mouth, he sounded funny.
"Pass," Arjuna said and sat down on the bed after the put the towel away, moved back and leaned his back on the wall. Looking down to the snow white hair from behind. He silently sighed and faced down, closing his eyes.
Karna finished his second piece and looked back, noticing Arjuna was being down. Not literally, but his mental. This proud man had been showing so much weaknesses lately. Starting from his crying, coming more for visit, asking things and caring more. Karna was quite, but he could sense his alpha was being sad and stressed. Like a dog whimpering in pain, but in silence. Karna could know it from his smell and expression.
Karna clipped the plastic bag and put them into his fridge. Then, he went to the bed. Sitting down next to the alpha, he leaned on his side, putting his head on the shoulder, to comfort Arjuna.
Arjuna looked at his mate who somehow was acting very affectionate and close to him. He couldn't help but blush and his chest felt so warm. Sometimes, Karna would do this, only when he was in his heat. He would be clingy and want to be close when he was in heat, but never on his normal days. This Karna didn't smell like he was particulary in heat though.
But there was slight difference. Arjuna put his nose on the white hair, it wasn't much difference, but Karna's smell somehow felt more warm...? Is that even a word to describe it? Arjuna didn't know how to exactly explain it but Karna's smell was a bit warmer and kinder compared to his usual self. Weird, but that was how Arjuna felt it when he smell it. "Your smell is a bit different..."
Arjuna said as he held on the pale man, embracing him, and he sticked his nose to the neck. Breathing onto it, this smell made Arjuna felt so calm and welcomed. This smell was telling him that this was his place to return. He embraced Karna and pushed him down slowly.
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Another month passed like usual. Karna went to work, go home, and wait if Arjuna would come or not for the night. Some nights he would come, some others not. Lately, not so much.
His marriage was four months to come. Their mother had been very busy preparing everything. The both families were making things grand. Though, it was mainly the women who were busy with this. Arjuna's life was still like usual, except for the frequent meeting with his fiancee's family and to take care of his part in the wedding party.
The only person Arjuna could speak to without his mask was Karna alone. In front of Karna, he was just a weak and pathetic person. Arjuna wanted to see Karna more. He couldn't stop thinking about Karna.
Arjuna sat at the round chair as he waited for his fiancee to come out from behind the curtain with the wedding dress. She had been testing some. Of course, with his mask on every second, he praised her. Though, he added little insignificant comments to make people think he really cared about her dress. Inside, Arjuna just wanted to leave.
I haven't seen Karna for this week... He looked down to his hand. His expression was dark and grim. No one was watching him anyway. Last week, Arjuna only managed to see Karna once as well. It felt like Karna would slip away from his fingers soon.
Maybe this is the right chance to stop seeing him? Black was emerging inside him again. He would always spoke next to Arjuna's ears when people weren't watching him. You don't need Karna. He's just a peeble in your life. Leave him. You already have wealth and soon a beautiful wife.
No! I can't do that! Karna needs me! I've made him this way! I cannot leave him! I... I love him...!
Black's grin grew wider. Lies. You're incapable of 'love'. You want to keep Karna close simply because you feel needed by him. You need him to make yourself feel worthy. Such ugly creature, do you think mother and your brothers will still accept you if they know that you fucked you brother for years?
Black was right in front of Arjuna. It was himself. A same person. That was Arjuna's face that was grinning so twisted right in front of him. Do you think Karna really want you? After all you did? He only wants your cock! Who would want someone like you? Everyone else only likes the act you maintain. Ah, no one loves 'you'!
Shut Up! Shut Up! Shut Up!
Arjuna's smiling mask returned as soon as the curtain opened again. "Hoho, you also look beautiful in this piece. I can't even choose." Arjuna praised her in another dress. Of course, it was a lie. Arjuna didn't even remember how the previous dresses looked like.
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The chains on his neck was strangling. Not seeing Arjuna for twelve days, Karna was getting lonely. His body was playing games with him again, making him so melancholic. He waited every night. Some nights, he stood at the door just to wait for the man to come.
Other than that, Karna's days were normal. He went to work like usual, came home like usual, and waited like usual.
Karna started his morning with his leftover instant noodle he had for dinner. He reheated it and was ready to eat. He slurped a bit of the soup and it made him felt really bad. He ran to the toilet and throw it out, together with the water inside him.
He already experienced this twice before. He knew this feeling very well. This was nothing to be afraid of. Karna was very used to deal with any sorts of situation by himself. At the first one, he was quite bewildered. He was already plain at the second one.
He went to work like usual, and asked to leave early at three pm. Then, he went to the clinic for the check. Karna was surprised and was silent for a moment when the doctor told him he was at the seventh week and was very well, unlike his previous two.
Now, he was confused. After having two miscarriages, he already given up his hopes and convinced himself that it was better to have none at all. He walked away from the clinic and went to the park. He sat on the fountain plaza and looked at the children who was playing around, trying to think if this was a good or a bad thing. Those children's face were bright. But, this child, Karna thought as he touched his stomach briefly, will not be accepted. He will just be like Karna. Being treated like a freak and would be tossed away.
Karna was certain that his mother would not accept this. And about Arjuna, Karna wasn't so sure as well. He had been giving pills the whole time. That man probably didn't wish for a child born out of incest as well.
Karna was fine with that. A bit sad, yes. But nothing overwhelming. He had already used to being alone. He would just return to his old place where he belonged. A life without Arjuna sounds hard. Karna could still remember how weak and sick he was after a year without his mate. It would only get worse later on. But this time, it would be just a couple of years to endure. After all, Karna wasn't young anymore.
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Arjuna went to see Karna a few days later. Finally, no one was bugging him and he could excuse himself to go home to his own house. Though, he just directly went to Karna instead of going back to his home.
He knocked on the door and it opened after a few seconds. Arjuna couldn't stop his overflowing feelings as soon as he saw Karna. He quickly embraced the man as tight as he could. Breathing onto the white hair, smelling the scent he had missed for long days. The gentle and welcoming scent. It felt as if the very weight on his shoulder had been lifted as soon as he touched Karna. "Sorry. For missing another heat day..." Arjuna apologized when they parted. He took off his coat and tie as he spoke.
"Ah, it's okay," Karna said as he closed the door. There was no heat either way. After he locked it, he stood in silence as his back faced his alpha. He looked back to Arjuna for seconds before he smiled. "Thank you for coming." Karna went to the man and hugged him on his own. Nuzzling gently against the man's side face. Arjuna was again with that woman's smell.
Arjuna's heart beated so fast with Karna being so cute and lovely to him. He hugged back and sticked their bodies closer. Then, Karna kissed him on the cheek. Which made Arjuna even more surprised. Karna never kissed him on his own unless he was in heat. And such a cute kiss on cheek, this was the first time.
Arjuna stared at his mate in confusion. Lately, his omega had been very affectionate even though they don't spend much time together. Maybe that's why?
Karna pulled the man's hand and led him to the bed. Though, Arjuna paused a second as he let go of the hand. "Let me take a shower first." He said. Because he knew his body had another person's smell sticking on him.
"It's fine." Karna said and he kissed him. He pulled the head close and their tongue touches each others' as Karna pushed the man down to the bed. He sat on top of his alpha with a smirk and joined their fingers together.
Arjuna looked up in a complicated smile. Holding hands...? This was very new and kind of weird. "Karna, did anything happened?" Arjuna asked. Because his mate looked awfully happy and was being very very lovely. It made Arjuna felt so happy that he had forgotten about his life for a while.
"Hmm. Nothing in particular." Karna said as he let go of the hand and went down to kiss his man again, unbuttoning the shirt as he did.
As the kissed, Arjuna's hands trailed down. He touched Karna's dick and stroked it lightly for a a moment and then he went to the hole. He pressed inside with his index finger. It was very wet and he put the second finger inside.
They sat up and took off the remaining fabric covering them. Karna's naked, pale skin was the most beautiful Arjuna had laid eyes on. Arjuna pushed his omega down with his back side facing up. He kissed and licked that nape. To be honest, Arjuna had always wanted to feel this part once again, but he wasn't daring enough. But with Karna being so inviting, Arjuna felt it was okay to do it. Karna was red. His ears were red. So cute...
Karna's hole was leaking out a bit of juice and was asking for the cock. Arjuna pulled the man up a bit. Then he went inside, taking him from behind, holding on those slim waist and started to move. Slowly going in and out, gradually, it became quick thursts. Arjuna decided this position so that Karna didn't have to smell him directly.
The light moans were so sweet. Karna was releasing the scent, telling that he was feeling good. Arjuna sticked his nose to the nape again to smell it more. It made him even harder knowing his omega liked this very much.
Karna was leaking out more. His juices were trailing down his thigh, and his dick was dripping wet. "Ah... ahnn... aa—" he buried his face onto the pillow to keep himself as quite as possible while he came. Arjuna's warm cum inside him was making his body so pleased. Even though his belly was already occupied. Karna couldn't help but to think himself as a lewd and sinful person. ...I am a pervert...
"Arjuna..." Karna called as he looked behind.
"What?" Arjuna raised his brows, wondering what could it be that Karna called him in the middle of their bonding.
"I want to see your face."
Arjuna's chest felt like it was pressed by a few kilograms of steel. He blushed and nodded silently as Karna flipped his body and faced up.
Karna smriked a bit as he spread his own legs with his hands. Showing his dripping wet hole, asking for more. Arjuna shoved in almost instantly that Karna gasped loudly, almost like a scream. "Haa—!"
Arjuna couldn't help but laugh. "That's a nice sound..." he said in husky and low tone as he started to thrust again.
"Ahh—Arjuna..." Karna raised his hand, asking his alpha to come to him. Arjuna deliberately not to do it because he felt bad for the scent in his body. But with that Karna's lewd face, red cheeks, open mouth, Arjuna leaned down to kiss him, shoving his tongue inside. Because Arjuna knew, his omega loved it when they fuck and kiss at the same time.
A bit of tears formed on Karna's eyes. This scent... he didn't like it. The scent of another person. But I have to accept this. Arjuna is not mine... He thought as he held tightly on the back. He smiled a bit as he came. This could be the last night the spend together. Karna wanted to remember this scent for the rest of his life. The smell of Arjuna with someone else.
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The morning came again. If only the night could be eternal, maybe Arjuna wouldn't have to leave. They could spend more time together. It wasn't enough. They had touched each other so many times last night, yet Karna still felt like it wasn't enough. He wanted more from the man. But it was just his selfish desires.
"Arjuna." Karna called the man right when he opened the door. He was about to leave.
Arjuna looked back as he held on the door. "What?" He smiled a bit at his omega. He already did give the goodbye kiss, but seeing Karna right in front of him made him do it again. He brushed their lips for a second.
Karna glanced around for a while before he spoke. "I want to tell you something." He looked back to the man, a bit nervously.
Was there anything Karna wanted? Or, could it be Karna wanted him to visit more? Or, was it a complain? Arjuna was actually delighted if Karna would say something like 'please come again tonight' or if he wanted to buy something. "What is it?" Arjuna asked.
Karna breathed out to calm himself. "I'm pregnant."
As expected, Arjuna's smile was gone in a second, replaced with a terrified face. He stared at Karna in silence, waiting for more explanation. Arjuna felt his whole body was cold.
Seeing that, Karna smiled. He had known this, there was no way Arjuna could have wanted a child from him. He closed his eyes and sighed lightly, tossing away all small hopes he had out from his heart. "Sorry. It's just a joke."
Karna couldn't help but chuckle. Arjuna's fearful expression was so rare that it turned out funny. "Please forget it." He added.
"I see..." Arjuna forced a weird laugh after that. That's a lie... isn't it? That was a bad joke... Though, Arjuna internally knew that probably wasn't a joke, unlike what Karna said. But Arjuna was too afraid to face it directly.
A brief of silence emerged until Karna confirmed again. "Ah," He nodded and looked at Arjuna with a little frown as he smiled. "You should get going now."
Arjuna nodded and left in silence.
Karna was reminded about that night when Arjuna was drunk, he asked Karna not to leave him whilst crying. Karna promised he would stay with him. Seems like, it would be quite hard to keep that promise. Not to mention, Arjuna didn't remember it himself.
I'm sorry, Arjuna, my little brother. I'll have to break my promise.
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