Debriefing
Shepard stared down the long, sloping field. He could smell the stench of burning husks, even though the incinerators were miles away. Gunfire rattled in the distance. At the base of the slope were the three reaper pillars. Massive monoliths. He winced at the memories they brought back, though they lacked the bright beam of light, and were far less menacing in the daytime. The black cloud which had occupied the sky above the city had cleared, and instead of the nightmare realm the city had been the night they had landed, it looked… like London. Ruined and desecrated nearly beyond belief, but it was a human city, once again.
He stared at the gaps between the pillars. The land beyond was an ocean of ash. A scar he suspected would never really fade, reminiscent of Sovereign's landing site on Eden Prime. Harbinger had planted itself between those pillars, and torn the last remnants of Operation Hammer to shreds.
The field itself was nearly deserted, only a few alliance soldiers remained, picking their way through the rubble. Behind him, he could hear the sound of Makos, and the chattering of military engineers as they set about clearing debris from the main routes.
"Careful, Loco." James said as he began a slow trek down the slope. "If you get hurt, it's my ass on the line."
He needn't have worried; John's side was aching madly. Shepard knew it was a bad idea to be up so soon, but he had to visit it, at least once, before the clean-up crew got there. John had spent two more days cooped up in the hospital. Among other things, he had done his best to keep tabs on how the fight was going. Liara's daily visits had done much in that respect, as had James' cheerful company. Between the two of them, John had managed to get a clear picture of the situation outside his serene recovery ward.
The Reapers had left, but their husks remained. The job of reclaiming earth was far from over, though far less daunting. The reapers themselves had headed on a direct course back into dark space, hopefully never to return. They had left their troops behind, however. The husks were still hostile, though they lacked the coordination they had before. It had turned from a full-fledged war into a high-stakes cleanup. Or at least that's the way it felt. The collected alien armada had dozens of footholds on every continent, in every country. More troops landed every day, working in tandem with the human resistance. It would only be a matter of months before Earth was cleared. London was a haven. A place of relative peace and quiet. The first city to be reclaimed, and most likely the first to be rebuilt.
More personal news was harder to come by. Communication amongst the species, while sufficient to accomplish battlefield goals, was lacking in terms of tending to the dead and wounded. Indeed the communication lines were so mixed up that even Liara had encountered troubles trying to sift through the information. There had been no news from Jacob, Grunt, or Samara. Tali was nowhere to be found, though John remained hopeful. Neither had Wrex been seen, although Shepard had heard that the krogan were still fighting, somewhere across the Thames, so perhaps he was there.
Shepard sighed, tightening his grip on Garrus' visor. In the end it was far easier to recount what he did know. Garrus was dead. Ash was dead. Cortez was dead. Anderson was dead. James and Liara were both still alive, something he was infinitely grateful for. They had made his recovery a little easier, transferring various things from the Normandy including a set of loose civilian clothes, and a book or two.
Edi and Joker were still around, as were Chakwas and Traynor. All four of them had been too busy to visit, but he'd received a few well-wishing messages.
"Over here, Commander!" he heard James call. The man was standing beside an enormous scorch mark. A Mako was lying on its side nearby, the wheels sitting at odd angles on their bent and twisted axles. The front of the vehicle had been melted off completely, and flowed into a deep trench which had been scored across the rough terrain. The sand and debris within it had melted from the heat, forming strange, smoothly marbled patches cutting across the dirt.
"Williams was here." James said, pointing down at the trench. John winced. Ashley had been hit head-on, and the heat had melted a very rough silhouette into the dirt. Scorched pieces of armour, none of them bigger than a deck of cards, were scattered around the epicenter.
John crouched, moving slowly to minimize the pain, and picked up a small amount of dirt, running it through his fingers.
"I kinda wish I could have gotten to know her a little better." James lamented.
"She was a good soldier." John replied. "And a better friend. Where was Garrus?"
His caretaker pointed at the downed Mako. He helped Shepard over the trench, and they examined the leeward side. It was covered in a large amount of Turian blood. John stared down at the blackened ground. Emotion filled him. Not grief, though he knew it would eventually hit him. Disbelief would be a much better description. A refusal to accept things as they were. It would have been easier, perhaps, had the Turian's body been there.
"Too bad they were the ones to draw the short straw." James said. "It coulda been me running down that slope with you."
"It wouldn't have been you." John told him firmly. "I picked them both. Him and Williams."
"Not sure whether or not I should be offended, Loco." James smiled slightly. "Why them? I mean, I know about you and Scars, but Williams?"
"When I climbed the Citadel Tower, chasing Saren, It was with Garrus and Ashley." John said. "It was… it had to be them." John shrugged. "I wanted to be there with them at the end. He and I made it through everything else together, and I thought…" He died away into silence, staring at the blood-stained surface.
James patted him on the shoulder. "If it helps, I think they were both probably thinking the same thing."
John frowned, still staring. His eyes had grown unfocussed as he delved into the realm of memory. "Shepard and Vakarian storm the gates of heaven." He muttered, feeling the cold visor between his fingers..
"What was that?"
"You know, if I could do things over…" John said quietly, "I think I would have preferred to die here on the field with them."
"Bullshit!" James said. His voice was sharp, his tone angry enough to wrestle Shepard's attention from the bloodstained ground. The marine glared at him and held up an angry finger. "After all the speeches you gave me, you're not allowed to think like that, understand, Shepard? What good would dying here have done anybody? The reapers would still be here! Earth would still be lost. Everything Scars fought for would have been destroyed! I doubt he'd want you to remember him by sitting around moping!" He took a step back, breathing hard. John stared at him in shock.
"Get better!" the muscle-bound soldier ordered. "Help rebuild."
John gave the scene one last look. "Where's the body, James?"
"I dunno. The reapers retook this ground after you made it through. It was a few hours before the krogan rolled in. They could have done anything with it."
Not even a body… John clenched his fists helplessly. The injustice of it was staggering. The Turian had fought as hard as him. As long as him. The two of them together had taken on the universe, and won. And now not even to be left with a body to bury…
He glared up at the sky in regret and fury. If only it had been someone else! It was a horrible thing to wish for, but at that moment, John didn't care. All he wanted was to have his friend back.
"Let's get you back to the hospital." James said.
A surprise was waiting at the hospital in the form of Admiral Hackett, dressed in his spotless uniform. With his steel-eyed gaze, and pitted, clean features, he looked unreal. Larger than life.
"Commander." He greeted.
"Sir." John replied, saluting.
"I've got to report back to the Normandy." James said, giving the Admiral a salute, which the man returned wholeheartedly with a bear-like growl. "Dismissed lieutenant."
"I'll check in later, Commander." James said, disappearing.
Hackett helped Shepard take a seat on the bed. "I'm sorry it took this long to follow up. Things have been hectic since the reapers left. I'm also fairly sure Miss T'soni was stalling."
John stayed quiet.
"How are you feeling, Commander?" Hackett prompted.
"Tired."
"Not relieved?
John laughed. "I don't think it's hit me yet, sir. I can barely remember life before this whole thing started."
Admiral Hackett nodded. "Take some time, Commander."
"How is the fleet holding together, sir?"
"We took some heavy losses." The Admiral admitted. "All the races did. But we're left with more than half the ships intact."
"Call that a win, then."
Hackett nodded. "That's not why I'm here, though. We just started to examine the citadel, and I sent a team to the location where you were picked up."
John looked at him sharply, wondering just how much had been seen. "And?"
"We found Admiral Anderson's body." He said, "And another. Half-husk."
"The Illusive man." Shepard replied.
Hackett came to a halt and looked John straight in the eye. "Commander?"
"Sir?"
"What happened up there?"
His stay in the hospital had given John plenty of time to think, and he'd spent it pondering two things. The first was what he was going to tell the galaxy. Everyone knew that he was somehow closely linked to the Reaper's retreat, and he had thought long and hard about what he was going to say. About what he could, and could not report. The universe wasn't ready to face the truth of the citadel. John felt a little hypocritical, making that judgment by himself, especially considering the Catalyst's own actions. But the opportunity was too big to miss. "The Crucible was never a weapon, sir." He reported. "It was a way for me to communicate with the being who created and controls the reapers."
Hackett stared.
"Sir, they are an enormous organic and synthetic hive-mind. No individuals. Not the way we see individuals."
"You spoke to it?" the Admiral frowned. "What happened?"
Here it was. The lie. If John could make the Admiral believe it, things would work. It wasn't actually all that far from the truth. Shepard was just being less specific than the Catalyst. But the reapers were a big enough threat to prompt long-lasting change. John said, "They attacked us because they see us as chaos, sir. Their…society is all about control. They took one look at our galaxy, with its internal squabbles and stupid political games, and decided that we weren't worthy of existing."
Hackett nodded slowly. "And who gave them the right to decide that?"
"That's essentially what I asked." Shepard said. "I negotiated a second chance."
"What were the conditions of their withdrawal?"
"That we do better." John said. "It's that simple. They're watching us, and if they see us devolving back into petty wars and xenophobia, they'll come back and finish the job."
Hackett whistled. "That's a tall order, Commander."
"It is."
"Looks like we'll need your experience over the coming months."
There it was. The second hurdle. "No sir."
Hackett frowned. He blinked a few times and stared sideways at John. "Commander?"
"No sir." John repeated. "I just saved the galaxy. The Normandy has one more mission. After that, I'm done. We have to visit every flagship in the fleets, and the home-worlds of every species, and convene a new council. My formal resignation will be on your desk after we get the first new council together. I'll explain the situation them and after that, you're on your own."
"I'd like you to give it some thought, Shepard." Hackett said in a tone of fatherly patience.
"I have, Admiral." John said, keeping his tone as polite as possible.
Hackett sighed. "You have a duty as an Alliance-"
"With all due respect sir, I stopped fighting on behalf of the Alliance a long time ago. Duty wasn't enough to see it through. I have two objectives over the next little while, sir." John held up Garrus' visor. "I have to bury a friend, and find a woman."
"A woman?" Hackett's troubled look deepened, although it also grew softer. "Anderson never told me anything about a woman."
"I didn't tell him." John said. "I didn't tell very many people at all. But I want a life with her, and that couldn't happen when the Reapers were around. That's what kept me going."
Hackett chuckled. "I supposed congratulations are in order then… May I at least know her name."
"Miranda Lawson."
"The Cerberus Operative?"
Now it was John's turn to stare. Hackett's smile widened. "That explains quite a bit from her end. She contacted us a few weeks ago. She helped us clean up what's left of Cerberus. She wouldn't tell me why she changed sides, but her knowledge was far too valuable to pass up."
"She's… " John stared. She had only been a step away? "Where is she?"
"On earth." Hackett said.
John sighed in relief, feeling his heart soar. She was alive! "Where is she? Can I see her?"
"If I arrange that, will you reconsider your resignation?" the Admiral asked.
Shepard's face fell.
"You're a symbol, Commander. This war is going to take a few years for the initial wounds to heal, and the Alliances to cement. Things could fall apart unless people have that symbol. We need you. Your face, at least." He sighed. "I'm not asking for much heavy lifting. Just be around. Wear the uniform. You can take some paid leave, too." Hackett said. "God knows, if anyone in the galaxy deserves a month or two of rest, it's you."
"Where is she?" John asked.
"I'll have to check." The Admiral said. "Will you stay on?"
"Maybe." John grunted, trying to keep his tone civil. He was tired. Too tired to deal with that kind of game.
Hackett sighed. "I'll be back Commander. Give things some more thought."
Sorry this took so long to update.
I'm writing this for you guys as much as me. I have a few questions which I'm torn on. What do you guys think:
Should Garrus survive? That hasn't been decided yet.
Should Shepard stay with the Alliance?
Also, awesome Garrus story: this happened completely and utterly randomly, and it was AMAZING!
When I fought Saren's husk on my Canon Shepard playthrough of Mass Effect 1, Garrus killed it. Ash was down and I was in cover, trying to recharge my shields and waiting for my overheated gun to cool off. Saren leapt at me, and Garrus scored a headshot with his sniper rifle. Council saved. End of game.
Two games later it came full circle, I'm fighting Kai Leng in the Illusive Man's inner sanctum. EDI is down, and I'm in cover trying to recharge my shields and reload my Mattock. Leng vaults over my cover, gets ready to slice me wide open, and Garrus scores a SECOND headshot with the Black Widow! Right through Leng's temple. It knocked him back over the barricade! It was incredible! And entirely unscripted!
Long story short, Garrus Vakarian is a GOD!