Chitose's Vacation Chapter 4: We're Finally Here, a happy lesson fanfic

Disclaimer: I do not own "Happy Lesson," its characters or concepts.

Okay, let's rewind. (REW) Okay, that's far enough. Now let's recap. Termites are infesting the Hitotose abode, meaning the teacher-moms will have to stay somewhere else for the time being. Soon, they all decide what they're going to do (Mutsuki decides to visit her parents in Hokkaido, Satsuki decides to visit her family in Shikoku, Yayoi decides to go on a spiritual journey in the Akaishi mountains with a very handsome priest, Uzuki decides to visit her fellow Cosplay Group members in Kyoto, and Kisaragi decides to pay Kanna a visit, mainly to make sure she doesn't do any evil plans), but they inadvertently forget about Chitose. He thinks he could use this time to stay with his sisters, but Hazuki has already planned to use her much-needed time off to spend some "girl time" with Minazuki. Chitose then asked the moms if he could go with any of them. Finally, Satsuki agreed to let Chitose meet her father and brothers (her mom passed away some time before). I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, how did Chitose get out of class? Well, Mutsuki and the other teachers called in, telling the principal that they had family crises had needed time off, and Chitose called in saying that his sister had won a 7-Day Cruise for Three and she wanted to bring him with her. As for Fumitsuki? Well, she made the mistake of knocking Students B and C out the cafeteria window in front of the principal, so she's been suspended and temporarily stripped of her presidential duties. Whew! That was a mouthful. Well, back to the story.

Hazuki's limo had just pulled up to Fumitsuki's house. Inside, the three girls were talking.

"It was nice to see you again, Fumitsuki," Minazuki said.

"You too, Minazuki."

"Hey, Fumitsuki," Hazuki said as she handed the Class President a piece of paper, "If you ever need someone to talk to, or you want to have some 'Girl Time,' here's my cell phone number." Fumitsuki then got out of the limo. "See you later, girlfriend." And with that the limo took off. Fumitsuki was still somewhat dreamy about the pop star giving her cell phone number to her. What snapped her out of it was a note taped to the front door of her house.

"Huh?" Fumitsuki wondered. "What's this?" She door the note off the door and read it.

Fumitsuki,

We won a free trip for two to Atlantic City, New Jersey in the United States. Since your father has vacation days coming, we decided to take advantage of it. Now, it's not that we don't trust you or think that you're not mature enough, but you'll have to stay somewhere else while we're out. If you're looking for your stuff, it's in the backyard all packed and ready to go. If you have any problems, don't bother us. We'll call you when you get back.

Love, Mom and Dad.

WHAT?!, Fumitsuki thought angrily to herself. THEY JUST LEFT ON A TRIP WITHOUT ME AND LOCKED ME OUT OF THE HOUSE?! She then angrily went to the backyard to get her stuff. She returned to the front a few minutes later, carrying two bags over her shoulder.

"Just perfect," she says to herself. "First those idiots bug me, then I get suspended from school, and now my parents. Where in the hell am I going to stay?" Light bulb. "I know. I'll ask Hazuki if I can stay at her place." She was about to take out her cell phone, but then realized that she didn't have it with her. "Just great. Now what am I going to do?" At that moment, a Honda Legend (Acura RL for you Americans) 4-door sedan pulled up to Fumitsuki's house.

"Excuse me," Fumitsuki then turned to the car, whose windows had rolled down to reveal a middle-aged balding man with a goatee. "Can I help you?"

"I don't know," Fumitsuki said somewhat worriedly. "My parents went on a vacation without me and locked me out of the house. I was going to ask a friend of mine if I could stay with her, but I don't have my cell phone."

"I think I can help," the man replied. "Do you have your friend's phone number?"

"Well, sure I do, Mister…"

"Doctor. Doctor Hideki Yamamoto," he said as he introduced himself. Fumitsuki then handed him the phone number. "By the way, you didn't tell me your name."

"It's Fumitsuki," she said. "Fumitsuki Nanakarobi."

"Fumitsuki…it seems like a nice name." He then dialed the number on his cell phone. It rang a few times before the owner answered.

"Hello?" For some reason, the voice sounded familiar.

"Is this…Hazuki Yazakura?"

"The one and only," the pop star replied on the other end. "Who's this?"

"This is Dr. Hideki Yamamoto. I'm here with your friend, Miss Fumitsuki Nanakarobi, whose parents are out of town and they locked her out of the house. She wants to know if it's okay if she can stay at your place."

He's actually asking Hazuki if I can stay at her place. A complete stranger. Maybe this day is getting better and better, Fumitsuki thought to herself.

"Brilliant," Dr. Yamamoto said. "Can I have your address please?" Dr. Yamamoto took out his a scrap piece of paper to write it down. "Uh-huh. Excellent. I'm familiar with that area, so she should be there in about twenty minutes. Thank you very much. I have one more question. Do you have a personal psychiatrist?" At that moment, Hazuki hang up. "Hello? Hello?" He then hung up his phone. "She hung up on me."

"So, I can stay at her place?" Fumitsuki asked.

"Yes, ma'am," Dr. Yamamoto replied. He then popped open the car's boot (trunk for you Americans) "Just put your bags in the boot."

"Oh, thank you," Fumitsuki then put her luggage in the boot. When she finished, she saw the passenger's side door open, and she went into the car. "Nice car."

"Thank you," Dr. Yamamoto said. "I'm married, by the way. I was simply asking your friend if she needed a psychiatrist because of her job. I mean, she does tour all over the country for weeks and months at a time."

"Right," Fumitsuki said as she put on her seat belt. "Very nice car."

"Thank you very much," as Dr. Yamamoto was about to pull out, a silver car with a hell of a lotta dents in it drove by at twice the normal speed limit. "Slow down, you crazy bitch!" The offending driver simply flipped him off. "They'll give any idiot a licence these days."

(I'll leave it to you to figure out the "crazy bitch.")

Meanwhile, in Kyoto, Uzuki Shitennou was standing trial for some weird reason.

"All rise," the bailiff said as Uzuki and the two attorneys rose as the judge made his entrance into the 'courtroom.' "Court is now is session. The Honorable Milton Bradley presiding." At that moment, the judge sat down at his bench. The 'judge,' by the way, was wearing a white wig.

"Be seated." And so everyone sat down. At that point, the court clerk handed the judge the case information.

"Your honor, this is case number 01041984, Kyoto Prefecture v. Uzuki Shitennou," the clerk said.

"Thank you. Mr. DA, what are the charges against the defendant?"

"Your honor," the DA, a middle-aged man wearing a loud suit, said, "the defendant is clearly guilty of wearing an outrageous costume in public places."

"Hmm," the judge thought to himself. "Miss Defender?"

"Your honor," the public defender, a young woman with a Kansai accent, stated, "I just we should just give her the usual punishment."

"Agreed," the judge said. "Five thousand yen and time served." He then banged his gavel. "That's a wrap!" At that moment, the two lawyers removed their masks, the DA revealing himself to be a bleach-blonde Kyushu woman, twenty years younger than the DA she portrayed. Uzuki's lawyer revealed herself to be a tanned Osakan, with dark brown hair pulled into two French braids.

"Yumiko? Shizuka?" Uzuki was in shock, but was shocked even more when the judge removed his wig, revealing rainbow-colored long hair. He then put on a pair of blue-tinted glasses.

"Welcome to Kyoto, my sister from another mother," the unofficial leader of the Cosplay Group, Takashi Suzuki, usually addressed by his surname, said.

"Suzuki?" Uzuki looked at her 'brother from another mother,' as they were proclaimed in college, due to their love of cosplay.

"Do you really expect a normal welcome to a fellow Cosplayer?"

"Not really, considering who our so-called 'boss' is," Yumiko, the tanned Osakan said. She also put on a pair of eyeglasses. Sneaking up behind her is Shizuka, the bleach-blonde Fukuokan who happens to have lesbian tendencies. "Don't even think about it."

"Aw, man!" Shizuki complained.

"Does she still have those lesbian tendencies?" Uzuki asked.

"Unfortunately," Yumiko replied.

"Ladies…" Suzuki said, getting their attention. "Thank you. Anyone that is not a member of the Cosplay Group please leave now." At that moment, everyone else in the courtroom left. However, one man stayed behind.

"Hey, man," the 'bailiff' said, "when do we get paid?"

"You cheques are in the mail," Suzuki said. "Now BEAT IT!" With that, the 'bailiff' was the last to leave. "Now, then, before we start our meeting, we must recite the oath."

"Oh, come on, Taky," Shizuka complained. "Do we have to?"

"Yes, and what did I say about calling me Taky?" Suzuki hated it when someone called him 'Taky.'

"As much as I hate to admit it, I agree with Shizuka," Yumiko reluctantly said. "This oath thing is stupid."

"Come on, guys," Uzuki said. "It's not that bad."

"There you go," Suzuki said. "Now, raise your right hands." Yumiko and Uzuki raise their right hands, while Shizuka raises her left hand. "Your right hand, Shizuka." Shizuka then switches hands to prepare for the oath. "Now, repeat after me."

"I, state your name…"

"I, state your name…," the girls repeated.

"…do solemnly swear…"

"…that I will not reveal the secrets of the Cosplay Group…"

"…to a non-member…"

"…under penalty of expulsion…"

"…humiliation…"

"…and downright dirtiness…"

"…so help me God…"

"…Amen."

"Now that we've gotten that out of our way, what's our first order of business?"

"Well, I actually want to show you guys something," Uzuki then took out a picture of Chitose and showed it to the Group.

"Who's this, Uzuki?" Yumiko asked. "Your boyfriend?"

"No," Uzuki replied. "This is my son, Chitose."

"Your…son?" Suzuki was a little confused.

"I don't know," Shizuka said. "He looks older than Uzuki."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" Uzuki shouted.

"Nothing."

"Remind me to have a private talk with you sometime, Uzuki," Suzuki said. "Now, let's get down to business."

"You mean you live at grandpa's old ranch now?" Mutsuki was now riding shotgun in her father's Mazda Atenza (Mazda6 for everyone else) sedan.

"Exactly, Mu-chan," Hikaru said, driving towards said ranch. "It was in bad shape when I found it, so I had it renovated while your mother and I lived in an apartment, similar to the one we lived in when you were born. By the way, you know that nice young man that you dated in high scool?"

"Takahiro Kobayashi? He wasn't exactly a nice man, dad."

"Well, I liked him," Hikaru said. "He's opened his medical practice in Sapporo. Did you know he became an obstetrician/gynecologist?"

"That makes me feel a lot better," Mutsuki said sarcastically.

"I still think you made a mistake breaking up with him, but I know you don't want me lecturing you about him during the entire visit," Hikaru continued. "However, when he heard that you were coming to visit, he invited himself over for dinner."

"WHAT?!" Mutsuki was so shocked that her glasses fell off. Hikaru was going to reach for them, but she got them first. "I got them." She then put them back on. "Why didn't you do anything about it?"

"Well, apparently, ten years haven't changed how he feels about you. He still cares about you a great deal."

"Dad…," Mutsuki moaned.

"Just talk to him, Mu-chan," her father said. "You'll find a few surprises about him."

"Yeah, right." Mutsuki just stared out the window for the rest of the car ride.

At the Tokushima Airport, Satsuki and Chitose's plane had landed and the two had retrieved their luggage. They were now looking around the airport for Satsuki's family.

"Are you sure they're here, Satsuki?" Chitose was a little concerned considering they had been looking for them for nearly half an hour, and still no sign of them.

"Don't worry, Chitose," Satsuki said. "I told them about the delay, so they should have been here by now." The moment she said that, she saw four men, one a teenager, the other three adults. Satsuki smiled as the recognized them on sight. "Hey, guys!" The four men noticed her and walked up to her and Chitose. The navy-haired man immediately hugged her sister.

"Hey, sis. How are you?"

"I'm doing fine, Mako? How's papa-san?"

Makoto "Mako" Gokajou, 25 years old, was about half a foot taller than Satsuki, and appeared to be in just as good as shape as his sister. His navy-colored hair was long, tied into a chignon (a type of bun). "He's doing great. He's busy teaching some students at the 'Torture Room,' so he couldn't come."

"Speaking of teaching," Satsuki said, "how are you doing?"

"I'm doing pretty well," Mako replied. "I go back to the ring in Fukuoka this Autumn." At that moment, Satsuki eyed her youngest brother, Tomoki "Tommy" Gokajou. Tommy was 18, with long black hair, let loose instead of tied. If he cut his hair, he could almost be confused for Chitose.

"Hello, Tommy," Satsuki greeted her youngest brother.

"Hey, Satsuki," Tommy replied, somewhat nonchalant. He then noticed Chitose right behind her. "Is that your boyfriend, Satsuki?" This comment caused Chitose and Satsuki to blush a little. But Satsuki quickly regained her composure.

"Uh, yes, he is. This is Chitose Hitotose, my boyfriend. Chitose, these are my brothers—Tommy, Mako, Kenichi, and Kazu." Chitose shook each of the men's hands.

"It's nice to meet you all," Chitose said.

"Nice to meet you too, Chi," Mako said. One of the brothers, whose had the same hair color as Satsuki, kept reaching into his pants pocket.

"Get your hands out of your pockets, Keni," the oldest of the brothers replied.

"But I haven't smoked in nearly three hours, Kazu," Keni said. Sighing, Kazu handed his brother a stick of gun.

"I swear, you have no willpower whatsoever." Hirokazu "Kazu" Gokajou was the oldest of the brothers (and the siblings) at age 32. He had dark blond hair, and like most of his siblings, appeared to be in good shape. He was also wearing glasses.

Kenichi "Keni" Gokajou was Satsuki's younger twin brother, and based on his recent behavior, was a smoker. As mentioned earlier, his hair was the same color at Satsuki's, only it was a flattop hairstyle. He also had a black goatee.

"He's still smoking after all these years?" Satsuki asked.

"Unfortunately, yes," Kazu replied. "I tried to get him to quit. Dai tried to get him to quit. Even dad tried to get him to quit."

"Speaking of Daichi," Satsuki said, "where is he?"

"He's getting the rental van, sis," Mako said. He then checked his watch. "He should have been back by now." At that moment, a maroon-haired man rushed over to the group. "Here he is now."

"Sorry, I'm late, guys," Dai started. "Hey, Satsuki!" Daichi came and hugged his sister, who hugged back. "How are you doing, sis?"

"I'm doing great, Dai." said Satsuki. "How was your trip to Macau?" At that moment, he handed Satsuki some money.

"Does this answer your question?" Satsuki counted the money silently, and had a shocked look on her face.

"Dai, this is over 500,000 yen!" she exclaimed.

"I made most of that playing Pai Gow," he said. Then he noticed Chitose. "This your new boyfriend, Saki?"

"Saki?" Chitose wondered.

"Yes, Dai," Satsuki said gritting her teeth. "This is Chitose. Chitose, this is my brother, Daichi."

Daichi "Dai" Gokajou was the second-born, who recently turned 30. As mentioned before, he had maroon-colored hair, and was wearing a T-shirt that said 'Faço meu dinheiro em Macau,' or 'I make my money in Macau' translated from Portuguese.

"Hello, Daichi," Chitose shook his hand.

"It's Dai, Chi," Dai said, chuckling at his own joke. "Do you gamble, Chi?"

"Well…"

"Chitose is not old enough to gamble, Daichi!" Satsuki said, putting her brother in a headlock.

"Satsuki, let go of Dai," Kazu said, picking up the money Satsuki dropped. "Dai, did you get the car?"

"Yes, indeed, big bro," Dai said, rubbing his neck and handing him the keys. "I should let everyone know that only Kazu and myself can drive the car. Speaking of which, here's your licence back."

"Thanks, Dai. Okay, everyone let's get going. Dad's waiting to meet us." As everyone else was heading for the exit, Satsuki and Chitose lagged a bit behind.

"So, what did you think of them, Chitose?" Satsuki asked.

"I don't know yet," Chitose said. "I have to get to know them more, Saki. Oops!" Satsuki had a vein popping out of her forehead.

"Chitose, I know I promised that I wouldn't harm you, but if you ever call me Saki again, I will break you in half. Do you understand me?"

"Yes, ma'am," Chitose said, somewhat worriedly.

"Don't worry, Chitose," Satsuki said, putting an arm around him. "I won't hurt you if it slips out."

"That makes feel a whole lot better, Satsuki."

"Come on, you guys!" Mako was shouting at the two loafers. "We've got to get going!" And with that, everyone was on their way out of the airport.

At Kanna's secret island, inside her secret base, Kanna was in her recently remodeled bathroom, taking a shower in her extra-large shower room. Just then, the door to the shower room opened, and Kanna gasped at this. She glanced and saw a shadowy figure moving through the fog. As the figure got closure, the fog dissipated somewhat, revealing it to be none other than Kisaragi. Kanna was blushing profusely as Kisaragi grabbed one of the shampoo bottles.

"Do you have to shower with me?" Kanna asked Kisaragi.

"Yes," she replied unemotionally as she started her shower.

This really sucks, Kanna thought.

Meanwhile, in the Akaishi Mountains, the Lexus arrived at a mountain cottage, where Susumu (who was driving) and Yayoi disembarked, retrieved their luggage and entered the cottage.

"You'll need to change into your miko uniform before we go on your journey," Susumu said. "While you are changing, I will be meditating in my chambers."

"Thank you so much, Mr. Arisaka," Yayoi said.

"No need to thank me, Miss Sanzenin. You can use the adjacent chambers to rest." The two then bowed to each other as they both went into their respective chambers.

Inside her chambers, Yayoi had placed her luggage on top of her futon and unzipped it. He's a very handsome man, Yayoi thought as she began disrobing.

In Susumu's chambers, he was preparing for his meditation. Man…that Yayoi Sanzenin is HOT!, he thought to himself NO!, he mentally punished himself. I cannot be thinking these thoughts! It's WRONG! He then put himself in the seiza position and began to meditate.

Now, back in Shikoku, a white Toyota Estima minivan was driving on the road. In the van, Kazu was driving, with Dai riding in shotgun. In the middle bench was Chitose, Keni, and Satsuki, and in the back bench was Tommy and Mako.

"Hey, Chi," Mako started, "have you ever seen Ultimate Boxing?"

"Ultimate Boxing?" Chitose a little confused. "I don't think I've ever heard of it."

"Well, Chi," Mako said, "Ultimate Boxing is like a hybrid of boxing and wrestling. While the business started out as a boxing promotion, they eventually decided to mix a bit of pro wrestling into it. Nowadays, it looks more like pro wrestling than boxing. In fact, the primary ways of obtaining a victory in Ultimate Boxing is now a pinfall or a submission."

"That's very interesting," Chitose said. "Have you ever seen it before, Satsuki?"

"Are you kidding me?" Satsuki sounded insulted. "I watch it every week!"

How come I never saw it?, Chitose asked himself mentally. As they continued moving on, Chitose asked Kazu a question. "So, Kazu, are you married?"

"I was actually," Kazu replied. "We got divorced just this last year, but we're still good friends. We have joint-custody of our three-year-old daughter. Oh, and in case you're wondering, I, too, enjoy Ultimate Boxing."

"You do?" Chitose asked.

"Absolutely," Kazu said. "Mako and I both have huge tape collections, and if we have a chance, we're going to take a look at them."

"Great," Chitose said. Just then, Tommy tapped him on the shoulder. "Can I help you?"

"Hey, Chi, did you know that Satsuki is ticklish?"

"Tommy!" Satsuki started blushing angrily.

"Actually, I didn't know that," Chitose said.

"I mean it. You touch her in just the right place, and she'll lose it, like that," Tommy continued. "When I was younger, I would sneak into Saki's room and wait until she got out of the shower. And as soon as she went in, I tickled her like crazy. Did I mention that most of the time she was wearing only a towel?"

"Tomoki, you are very lucky that there's a bench separating us, because the moment we get out of the car, I am putting you in the Sharpshooter," Satsuki threatened him. There was silence for about a minute before Tommy tapped Chitose's shoulder again.

"What now?" Chitose was now annoyed.

"Have your virginity yet?" Tommy asked.

"No."

"I have," Tommy said. "Papa-san doesn't even know about it yet."

"That's it!" Satsuki said. "Pull over, Kazu! I'm breaking Tommy's leg!"

"Tommy, knock it off!" Kazu said. "Keni, get your damn hands out of your pocket!"

"But I need to smoke, man!" Keni was getting impatient.

"And, Saki, I would appreciate it if you did not threaten your brother, okay?"

"Okay," Satsuki, Keni, and Tommy said.

"Hey, Chitose," Dai said.

"Yeah?"

"I have a couple of books on gambling. You can borrow them when we get to the house."

"Dai…" Satsuki looked like she was going to kill her brother in the car.

"Relax, sis. I know very well that Chitose can't legally gamble yet. He can think of it as a preparation for when he's ready and able."

"Okay," Satsuki said, somewhat in defeat. Just then, Tommy tapped Chitose's shoulder again.

"What?!" Chitose was getting very angry with Tommy.

"I've got nude pictures of Satsuki if you want to see them later," Tommy whispered to Chitose, which caused him to blush heavily.

This is going to be a long week, Chitose thought to himself while blushing.

Notes: This is my longest chapter yet. In the next chapter, we'll meet Satsuki's "papa-san," and we'll also check on the other moms and female characters.

Okay, you're wondering where the "light bulb" came all of a sudden. Well, if you watch cartoons, like myself, you'll notice that when a character has an idea, a light bulb appears right next to them.

As for the "Cosplay Group" members, I based Suzuki somewhat on the eccentric Taishi from "Comic Party." I based Yumiko's look on Arumi from "Magical Shopping Arcade Abenobashi," right down to the Kansai accent. And for Shizuka, I used a mix of Excel from "Excel Saga" and Tina from "Ai Yori Aoshi."

Yes, the "5,000 yen and time served" gag is based on the one from Night Court. I don't own that either.

And, for those of you wondering, Ultimate Boxing is a creation of mine. Please e-mail me if you'd like to discuss this with me.

Until next time, PLEASE REVIEW!!