We took Sam's truck, since it was parked behind Eric's latest sports car in the driveway. Sam drove with one hand on the wheel, the other restlessly tapping the seat between us.
"You seeing him?" He asked finally.
"No. Not really. I don't know." I sighed. I certainly wasn't 'seeing' Eric. This was the first time I had 'seen' him in over three weeks. Feeling him, now that was another story. But I didn't even begin to know how to tell Sam about that.
"I don't trust him."
"I know." I wasn't always sure I did, either. I knew that Eric would never hurt me purposely. I knew that when I had been in harm's way he had done everything he could to help me. I also knew that the bond we shared was not of my choosing, and I wasn't sure that my feelings about him were really my own. Would I feel the same without the blood bond? How could I ever know for sure?
Sam slowed the car as we rounded the last curve. The parking lot lights and the moonlight lit the scene before us. "My God.." Sam whispered.
I instinctively reached over and covered his hand with my own.
He pulled up in his old spot near the trailed and shifted the truck into park. Unbuckling his seat belt, he opened the door, but stayed in the cab. "There's a flashlight under the seat. Could you get it for me?"
I felt around and located the light. "Maybe we should wait until it's daylight to go inside." I said, handing it to him.
"Sookie, I'm here now. I'm going in." He hopped down and turned on the light, heading toward the door. I quickly exited out my side and followed.
The fire department had strung crime scene tape across the entrance. Sam ripped it off and tried the door. Locked.
"Should you have torn that tape off? Maybe they don't want anyone in there."
"Sookie." Sam said flatly. "It's my bar." He pulled a ring of keys from his pocket, found the right one and inserted it in the lock. The door swung open. A thin sheen of smoke still hung in the air, somewhere, water dripped.. The smell of burnt wood and melted plastic was overpowering. Sam lifted his arm, pressing a sleeve to his face. He shone the light around the bar room.
"My God." He said again. "I thought I had imagined the worst, but..."
"The chief said the structure is sound, from what they can tell. That's good, right?"
"Yes, Cher, that's good." He nodded.
He walked to the bar, glancing at the blackened barstools. He ran his hand along the edge of the bar. "Twelve years." He said softly.
Sam had never said much about when he bought the place, or how he came to be in Bon Temps. I let him talk.
"I walked in and sat down at this bar. Told the bartender 'nice place'. He said it was for sale. I offered. He accepted. Signed the papers a week later. Never regretted it. Not once. I made a home here. Made friends. Made a name for myself." He made his way around to the other side of the bar, kicking debris out of his way as he went. "Lots of memories in this place, eh Cher?"
"You bet." I choked out.
"Don't cry, Sookie." Sam, the one who had lost so much, comforting me. It only made me blubber harder.
"Come here." I walked behind the bar to him and he held me while I cried. I felt my hair dampen, and realized he was shedding a few tears of his own. We stood that way for a long time.
When we finally let go of each other, Sam pulled a bottle of whiskey off the shelf and found two intact glasses. He poured a finger in each glass and held one out to me. I'm not usually a whiskey drinker, but I took the glass.
"To memories." He clinked his glass against mine.
"To memories." I repeated. We tipped our glasses at the same time. I managed to swallow most of mine before I coughed.
Sam chuckled pouring himself another shot. He offered the bottle to me, but I shook my head. One of us needed to stay sober. If Sam wanted to drink, well, I couldn't blame him. He had one more shot, then said. "Okay, let's take the grand tour."
Using the flashlight to guide us, we took walked through the rest of the place. The restrooms had survived, but the storeroom, Sam's office, and the kitchen were, as the chief had warned me, a total loss. I showed Sam the security light.
"Someone did this on purpose?" He growled.
"The chief thinks so. He's having the arson investigator come over from Shreveport."
"Who would want to burn my place down, Cher?"
I looked at him, and for once someone else read my mind.
"Arlene?" Sam shook his head. "I know she was mad, but....Sookie, she was the first waitress I hired. She's worked here since the day Merlotte's opened. We were friends."
"Were, Sam. Did you see the look on her face when you changed? I've never seen such hatred."
Sam shook his head. "I can't believe she would be a party to something like this."
"I can." I said, sadly.
Sam glanced around the back. He took in the gaping hole that gave a clear view of the remains of his bedroom in the trailer.
"Where were you?" Sam asked.
"What?"
"When the fire started? Where were you?"
"In there." I said Sam's eyes widened. "I had closed the bar and gone to the office to do the food order. It was late, and I was so tired. I didn't think you'd mind if I rested a bit in the trailer. So I went and lay down. The next thing I knew, Bill was there. He got me out."
"Thank God." Sam embraced me again. "If anything had happened to you..." He paused. "I don't think I would ever get over it." He held me out at arms length and looked at me. "Do you know how important you are to me?"
I did, on one level. But I didn't think that was what Sam meant. Still, I nodded. "Yes."
"I don't think you do, Cher. And that's my fault. I've stood back and watched you first with Bill, then with the Were and that Tiger. But this...." He looked at the destruction all around us. "This and what happened with Mom, it puts it all in perspective."
My heart beat fast against my ribs. What was he saying?
"Sookie, I love you. I've loved you for years. I think you have feelings for me, too. I know you aren't really sure about things. I don't think you know what you want. Part of you still cares for Bill, am I right?"
Almost surprising myself, I nodded again.
"And there's something going on with Northman, too."
"Sam,..." I began. But he held up a hand to stop me.
"I'm not asking you to make any kind of a decision. It's just way past time that I laid my cards on the table." He shrugged. "I will always be your friend, no matter whether it's the cornerstone for something more, or if it's all you want from me. I will always be your friend and you will always have a job here as long as you want it."
He let out his breath in a whoosh, as if he'd been holding it a long time. Maybe he had. I didn't know what to say, so I didn't say anything. I'm getting better at that. Evidently, it was okay with Sam.
"I should get you home." He led the way back through the bar and locked the door behind us, replacing the crime scene tape as best he could..
As we got into the truck something occurred to me. "Where are you going to stay?"
"I'll get a room at the Highway 1, at least for tonight, I guess."
"No, you won't. You'll stay with me." I insisted. I knew no matter his feelings, Sam would never do anything inappropriate and The Highway 1 was not a five star hotel, to say the least.
"I don't want to put you out."
"What was that you were saying back there about always being my friend? Well, I'm yours, too. And friends don't let friends stay in a shitty motel when they have plenty of room."
"Okay." Sam smiled.
He parked the truck in the driveway and hauled a battered duffel bag out from behind his seat. Shutting and locking the doors he followed me up to the porch. I dug through my pockets until I found the house key.
"Hello, Sookie. Sam."
I jumped. "Bill. Dammit. I hate it when you do that." I chided him.
"Sorry. I forget." He said. But he smiled in a way that let me know he was amused that he had startled me.
"Sam. Glad you're back."
"Thanks for keeping an eye on things." Sam said. "And for keeping our girl safe."
Our girl? I was touched and annoyed at the same time. "Um, guys, are you coming in, or what?" I held the door open and Sam and Bill both went in ahead of me.
"Listen," I said. "You two can stay up and chat if you want, but I'm exhausted. I'm going to bed."
"I just wanted to be sure you were all right." Bill said.
"You wanted to see if Eric was still here." I countered.
Bill's fangs slid out slightly. "Perhaps." He admitted.
"That's really not your business, is it?" I snapped. I was a little tired of being looked after by my ex-boyfriend..
Sam looked back and forth from Bill to me with an amused look on his face. Evidently deciding it would be best to let us hash this out alone he walked past me. "I think I'll take a shower, if that's okay."
"Sure. Towels are in the cupboard by the sink." I turned back to Bill. "Eric's gone. He left and I went to the bar with Sam."
"He'll be back."
"No kidding. He's at least as persistent as you are."
"You have not even seen my persistence yet." Bill said. And with that he took a step forward, bent his head to mine and kissed me. His cool lips pressed gently against mine. Without thinking, I kissed him back. His hands stroked my arms softly and I leaned in. Suddenly my brain kicked in and I pulled away.
"What do you think you're doing!?" I sputtered. "You've got no business kissing me."
"Sookie, of course I do." He spoke softly, but with a determination I remembered well from our time together. "I love you. I want to be with you. I have tried talking to you, reasoning with you, apologizing to you. And I meant every word." He went on quickly, not allowing me to break in. "I know how it must have seemed to you when Eric made me tell you about my assignment from Sophie Ann, I know how hurt you were. I will never ever forget that. I live that pain every day. But Darling, I have loved you practically from the day we met. There is no one who has ever touched my heart the way you have. I kissed you just now to see if you had any feelings left for me." He smiled now. "I think you do."
"Bill." I protested. "That was just a gut reaction to..."
"Exactly." He smiled again. "I'll talk to you tomorrow, Sookie. Sweet dreams." He left me standing there with my mouth hanging open. Crap.