Cristina needed to tell to somebody about her intentions. She ordinarily didn't look for reassurance from anyone, but this idea she had was so foreign to her usual behavior that she wanted to voice it out loud to someone who could help her confirm that her plan didn't sound ridiculous; plus, she figured she might as well get started talking since that was what lay ahead of her anyway.
Meredith wasn't ready to talk about Owen yet; she had developed a blind spot for Owen since he had hurt Cristina, and no matter how unintentional it may have been, Meredith was not ready to be open to thoughts of Cristina and Owen reuniting. Cristina understood that Meredith was being protective, but Cristina also knew that Meredith was going to have to one day grasp the fact that Owen meant to Cristina as much, if not more, than what Derek meant to Meredith.
However, there was also Callie, and Cristina had noticed how Callie had softened towards Owen recently. At first, Callie had been just as militant and angry as Meredith, but over time, especially in the past week or two, Callie seemed to have changed her opinion of Owen. She had even casually dropped his name in conversation with Cristina, possibly fishing for information, but seemingly more out of concern. So when Cristina came home that night in a pretty great mood, considering all the awful things that had happened at the hospital that day, and saw Callie sitting on the couch with a bowl of ice cream, her feet up on the coffee table, she knew she had her opportunity to talk.
Cristina sat down next to Callie. "I need to figure something out. I need you to listen and tell me I'm not crazy for doing this, because I think I know what I need to do."
Callie immediately realized this was something serious. Cristina didn't just talk. Cristina talked with purpose. So Callie nodded, and said, "Okay. I'm listening."
And Cristina began talking, talking about Owen and about herself and about them from the very beginning. And once she began talking, she couldn't stop. She told Callie everything that had happened, from the kisses to the failed date, from the panic attacks to the choking, all the way up to what had happened that very night in his office. She told Callie how she wanted to be with him, but was afraid to fall asleep with him now. Callie listened intently, and when Cristina was finally talked out, she told her the final decision she had made.
"Here's what I'm going to do, and I need you to tell me if it is crazy or not, because I always swore I would never do this. I'm going to start seeing Dr. Wyatt to see if I can get over this fear. I know I said she's a horrible shrink and that she doesn't know what she's doing and that she sucked at Meredith's therapy, but right now, it's the only solution I can come up with, and I don't know what else to try, and I need a plan. Because I can't just keep on here doing nothing and wondering what might have been if I had at least tried something. I need a plan. Does that sound like a plan?"
Callie sat back in the corner of the sofa, ruminating on all that Cristina had said, and wondered if Cristina herself even realized how much in love with Owen she was. For her to go to therapy for him, without him even knowing or asking? This was huge. Callie also recognized that at this point, it was useless to try to stop Cristina from being with Owen as long as they were both seeking help and trying to make sure that what had happened never happened again. She wasn't sure she had any business trying to stop them, anyway. After all, if the last year had proven anything to Callie, it was that you couldn't help who you fell in love with.
"I think that sounds like an excellent plan," Callie answered. "We're scientists. We need to experiment and see results and base our actions upon the outcomes. So I can't think of a better plan of action than what you've just come up with."
Cristina gave a satisfied smile. Having put her plan in terms of science, in terms she could understand and was comfortable with, made her feel even better about her decision.
And that night, knowing she had made a decision, and that she had Owen to look forward to one day, some day, she slept better than she had since before Owen had ever had his nightmare and set them on this path.