A/N: DECO*27 songs used: Coward Montblanc, Nisokuhokou, Theory of Loving Each Other (of COURSE), Ai Think So, Love Gazer, Shinkai Summit.
DECO*27 Y R U LIEK DIS. (lol.)
ALSO the other couple used in this fic is only a plot device, I do NOT ship them at ALL.

Only a Theory

chapter four ; about my theories.

For two to love each other, they must have equal amounts of love. The first must love the second as the second loves the first. Therefore:

Me : You :: You : Me

Apparently things don't work that way most of the time. Only when you find one that loves you in that proportion, will you know that it is true. Only when you find that, will it be true love.

I wouldn't know, because Len doesn't love me.

Also, I can think that if one loves another in that analogy, they will not need another love interest. If Len and I were to become a couple, which I would never think possible, but for example—he would not ever want to love Miku.

I am becoming sure that it is the other way around. That he loves Miku, and does not ever want to love me.

I hear more babble than usual in the hallways. It's somewhat strange. And people are staying out straight until the bell rings, walking to class together. Everyone's next to each other and walking in groups of three and four, and I spot Luka walking with Kaito.

I decide to leave them alone.

I open my planner and look at the figurative stacks of homework I have written down. All AP classes have gotten to me. It's kind of strange how I don't think anything of my homework, how I don't complain about it like other kids do. At least, I'd say to other people, it is. To me, it's just a part of my life. I've been doing extra homework since fifth grade, when I was in double accelerated math and never wanted anything else. I did every extra credit project I could get my hands on. I had some kind of attraction to working.

Somewhere along the way, I wondered where all my friends had gone.

But it became a harsh reality in eighth grade when homework weighed down on everyone else and I continued to work hard in Challenge class and kept up my grades in double accelerated. I was that kind of person. Always working. But I had lost friends. I just began to wonder what happened.

High school just worked. I was fine, it became more challenging, a better environment. I was no longer bored in classes. My AP classes were so much more enjoyable.

Now, I go through my life story as I take the stairs, fold up my planner and look to the side. Len is there. His blonde hair can be spotted from anywhere.

He's with Miku. From in between the cracks in the crowd of people, I can see that they're holding hands.

That's part of my theory.

Suddenly everything cracks and I begin to fall apart. Tears come to my eyes and spill over and I turn and run the other way, as the second bell rings.

I'm late for class, but it doesn't matter, I'm going to the counselor, my theory no longer applies to me, it's Len and Miku.

I sit down in the counselor's waiting room, tears drenching my hands that cover my face. It's been years since I've cried, I think. I haven't felt such a burning and terrible feeling in such a long time, that it almost hurts to shed tears.

This, I never thought would happen. Kagamine Rin, crying over a boy. I never could have guessed this year could come to this. Would it ever affect what I am? What I would become, what I could become?

But I don't care right now. I'm still shedding tears and I'm still trying to breathe straight.

He doesn't deserve me.

It's so true, in my mind. I'm thinking that he doesn't deserve me, he doesn't deserve a perfectionist, worker-bee, socially awkward and bookish Rin. He deserves a beautiful, charismatic girl like Miku.

But in my heart something else is going on.

He doesn't deserve her, he deserves me, because I know that somewhere inside me I can love him better than Miku can.

So which is right, my mind or my heart?

I'm starting a notebook.

The theory of loving each other, day one.
When it begins, you're always wondering if it will end, because it's so wonderful in the beginning
When it ends, you're wondering, where was the beginning?
The theory of loving each other, day two.
One tends to be drawn to someone opposite of them, or extremely similar to them.
The theory of loving each other, day three.

I hadn't written anything down. I write.

People get closer to loving each other from just a friendship, by spending time with each other.
It's extremely hard to confess that one loves another. And one may deliberately lie to the one they love, in order not to be embarrassed if the feelings are not returned (?)
The theory of loving each other, day four.
For two to love each other, they must have equal amounts of love. The first must love the second as the second loves the first. Therefore:

Me : You :: You : Me.

Things don't work that way most of the time. Only when you find one that loves you in that proportion, will you know that it is true. Only when you find that, will it be love.
If one loves another in that analogy, they will not need another love interest.

I wonder what day five will look like, based on the rejection.

Len walks by, without Miku by his side this time. He notices me writing and stops and sits next to me.

"Hey, Rin."

I hurry to close the notebook.

"I won't bother you, but what's that notebook you got there?" He smiles, with that bright and sweet and charismatic smile. That captured my heart and probably Miku's as well.

"Umm, uhh… my writing notebook."

"I didn't know you wrote! What kind of stuff?"

I really don't know how to answer that, because I don't really know what I write, what this would be called.

"Theories. Of life. And my problems. I would think."

"How do theories of problems work, even?"

"It's kind of hard to explain. Have you ever heard of an analogy?"

"Oh, like, this is to this as that is to that?"

"Pretty much." I tap the notebook. "That's one of my theories. I might show them to you later. Once they're all done."

"Oh, I can't wait!" His eyes sparkle. I decide to ask him the question that's been on my mind.

"Are you going out with Miku?"

"Sort of." He looks down a bit. I'm wondering why he always looks down when he talks about Miku, around me.

"Is that so…"

"Well, it's because of someone I like, that I couldn't get. And she asked me out, so it was my other choice, and she's always been sweet and stuff."

Who else would he like? Miki? Teto? Meiko? Gumi? Not Luka… and it couldn't be me.

Out of all people, it couldn't be me.

I have never before believed in 11:11.

But lately, I've found myself making wishes for him, on that time. Isn't that so foolish? Instead of something like a future, or good grades, I'm wishing for a boy.

But still.

And after that, I write in my notebook, a new theory.

I've already written day four, so day five will be after this time. I'm not exactly sure how it's going to happen, but something tells me, he deserves me.

Because as much as Miku is amazing, and perfect for him, I've been here the whole time—strange, a bookworm, and different, but here.

A/N: xxKerii-tan, aka Rinrin, aka Kerii, you are AMAZING. I never include ANs at the end, but that analogy I came up with, it was because of you.

Thank you.