Disclaimer: I, unfortunately, do not own A:tLA. That privilege goes to Bryke and Nickelodeon

Where Do Babies Come From

"Uncle, can I ask you a question?"

Sokka looks up from sharpening his boomerang, to see his eldest nephew standing awkwardly in the doorway.

"A question? Well, you've come to the right place!" He beams, throwing his arms out in a welcoming gesture, and narrowly missing an antique vase. "For I am always happy to impart my world famous Sokka Knowledge on any eager soul who comes looking."

Ukiuk blinks in confusion. "Sokka Knowledge?"

"It's what he calls his really overcomplicated way of explaining things," Yue calls from behind her father, where she is currently arm-wrestling, and beating, her older brother.

Sokka splutters. "Over…overcomplicated?! It is not!"

"Mum says it is."

"Yes, well, your mother doesn't know everything! …Don't tell her I said that."

"She'll still find out," Siluk chimes in. "Like when she found out that the reason you hurt your nose wasn't because of a sparring accident like you said, but cos you were looking for meat, and opened the cupboard too hard so it swung back and hit you."

Yue sniggers, while Sokka reddens. "What happened to we must never speak of that incident again?!"

"Um, is this a bad time?" Ukiuk mumbles, still standing in the doorway.

"Of course not! Ignore your cousins!" Sokka beckons his nephew into the room, and sits down on the futon next to him. "So what can I help you with?"

Ukuik fidgets. "Well, y'know Mum's pregenant?"

"The whole nation knows my sister is pregnant," Sokka notes seriously, albeit with a dry undertone that will go unnoticed by the five year old. "Honestly, I'm surprised that they haven't run out of party supplies." Say what you will about the Fire Nation, but they sure know how to celebrate.

Ukuik nods vigorously. "Yuh huh. There's loads!"

"There was even more when Cousin Kaida was born," Siluk pipes up, still losing his arm-wrestling match.

"Tui, I remember that. Apparently the impending birth of an heir is the perfect excuse for throwing a whole slew of parties, and that's not even including everything the Fire Sages insisted on arranging. And when she was actually born, the whole Nation was hungover for weeks."

"'Vryone's been nice bout it too. Nobles keep coming up to Mum and offering her con–" Ukiuk screws up his face as he tries to pronounce the word. "Congra– congratula –"

"Congratulations?" Siluk offers.

Ukiuk nods his head vigorously. "Yup!"

Sokka snorts. "Yes, they've been a lot better since her first pregnancy. With your older sister, everyone was like 'well done on getting pregnant, we're expecting a firebender by the way'…"

"Didn't Mum throw her fans at a group of nobles?" Yue slams her brother's arm down on the table, ignoring his squawk.

Sokka sniggers. "Yes, I remember that."

Siluk massages his arm. "Also, when we were down in the South Pole, for you coz," he nods at Ukiuk, "didn't we keep getting harassed by loads of people there too?"

"Did you?" Ukiuk's blue eyes widen.

"We did," Sokka sighed. "Because you were due to be born on the Winter Solstice, and on a full moon, everyone went nuts, saying that it meant a ridiculously powerful waterbender, who would master all the known forms by the age of seven, duel the Ocean Spirit, and create a whole new bending art, or something like that. So that we could actually spend some uninterrupted time together as a family, Katara turned half of the 'well-wishers' into ice sculptures, and Gran-Gran chased the other half away with her cooking ladle."

"I remember that," Yue smirks. "Aunt Toph and I threw snowballs at 'em."

Sokka groans. "How is it that even when she's blind, Toph still manages to hit me in the face every time."

Yue shrugs. "I may have helped her."

"Didn't you want to ask Dad a question, cousin?" Siluk interrupts before Sokka can show of the wide variety of colours he is capable of turning.

"Oh yeah," Ukiuk blinks, having seemingly forgotten this himself. "Well, I was just wondering…and cause I kinda guess that you'd know about it Uncle Sokka…"

"Why yes, I am very knowledgeable," Sokka agrees, ignoring Yue's snort, for someone who everyone says takes after me, she sure is a lot like her mother. And her aunt, come to think of it…

"And even though Mum said that you get a bit weird when babies are born–"

Sokka puffs up his chest indignantly. "Untrue! I'm totally fine with it! I always stay calm under pressure! Nerves of steel, me!"

This does not escape Yue's notice. "Dad, you have a complete melt down. Mum says you even forgot everyone's names at one point."

Sokka whirls on his treacherous daughter. "Yue! You're meant to be on my side! And yet you always take your mother's or someone else's!"

Yue shrugs. "Mum knows where the meat is."

Sokka pouts.

It was mostly true! Him passing out during the birth of baby Hope, when they were travelling through the Serpent's Pass during the war didn't count! And anyway, he had done well during all of Suki's pregnancies! He didn't run out screaming, and he had only fainted twice! Sure, when she had Siluk, he had freaked out a little, but everyone does that with their first child! With Kaida, Zuko had actually managed to cause Iroh to run out of jasmine tea, and nearly set fire to the birthing room, but no one made fun of him as much!

"Anyway," he turns back towards his nephew. "We can establish that pregnancy does not scare me–"

"– For the most part," Siluk mumbles.

"Why does everyone always gang up on me?!" Sokka wails.

"It's not ganging up on you, Dad," Yue bats her eyelids innocently. "We're just making sure our little cousin gets the complete, unbiased story."

"Because," Siluk continues smoothly. "While you've gotten better, you have been scared by pregnancy a couple of times."

Sokka scowls. Alright, so maybe that was true, but he had a legitimate reason for it! Pregnancies of spouses and siblings are different. When Katara had gotten pregnant with Kaida, he had stared stupidly at the slight swell of her belly for a good couple of minutes before asking how the baby got there, causing Toph to cackle and proclaim "Well Snoozles, when a man and a woman love each other very much…"

"So yeah," Ukiuk rushes on, determined to ask his question before he gets distracted again by Sokka versus his kids. "Cos you know loads, and you was there for all of Mum's pregenancies, an' Aunt Suki's too, so you'd know what happens…"

Sokka leans back; pretty sure that he knows what Ukiuk is going to ask. Probably something along the lines of how he can help his mother feel more at ease. Katara's always saying that he has the 'healing nature of a waterbender', and this is probably it coming to light–

"Uncle, where do babies come from?"

And that is how Sokka came to be on all fours, having fallen off the futon, wheezing his lungs out where he choked on air, with Siluk patting his back, Yue having breathing problems of her own, due to laughing so hard, and Ukiuk looking perplexed.

"Why…" Sokka gasps out between coughs. "Why…aren't you…asking…your father…about…this?"

Ukiuk shrugs. "Dad said you'd be the best one to ask."

"Jerkbender!" Sokka howls. "Mark my words; I'll get you for this! Thou hast broken the sacred pact of the bro-code! My revenge will be as swift and subtle as…as…"

"One of your 'sneak attacks'?" Yue offers.

"That's it! You have been spending way too much time with your Aunt Toph!"

"So you don't know the answer then?" Ukiuk mumbles.

"I didn't say that," Sokka protests. "The question just…took me by surprise, that's all."

Ukiuk perks up again. "So you do know the answer!"

Sokka sighs, resisting the urge to pinch the bridge of his nose in the same way Zuko is wont to do, fully aware that for all his incredible skills, he isn't getting out of this easily. "Okay," he mutters, ignoring the two evil grins that have spread across his children's faces. "It's kinda like…" he glances around for something, anything, which can help him in this. "Uh…that!"

Ukiuk follows the direction his uncle's finger is pointing in, and his brow furrows. "Babies come from vases?"

"No!" Sokka groans, burying his head in his hands. "No, no, no, that came out so wrong! Okay, let's try this again." He raises his head, and catches something out of the corner of his eye.

"Perfect!" he lunges across the room, and grabs it. You've never let me down before, Boomerang, don't you dare break that streak today!

"Okay, so you see, boomerangs are very special and important. So when you find someone in your life who is also special and important, often you'll want to, uh, play with your boomerang together! Am I making sense so far?"

"Um…kind of?" Ukiuk mumbles, while Siluk and Yue collapse in fits of laughter.

"But you see," Sokka continues loudly. "Boomerangs can also be dangerous, if you don't know what you're doing. So when you start off, you need to, um, protect the boomerang, and yourself!"

"How do you do that?" Ukiuk blinks.

"That's another question for another time, and hopefully for another person," Sokka smiles weakly. "But then, there comes a time when you and your special and important person are ready to play with the boomerang in the way the spirits intended! Now, it might not produce the desired results immediately, but that's why you keep trying until eventually, you obtain the outcome you want! You got all of that?"

"I think so," Ukiuk nods. "When you and 'nother person want to play with a boomrang, first be careful with it, but then when you're ready, you can play with it normally, until you get what you want?"

"Precisely!" Sokka gives himself a mental pat on the back. "Well, getting pregnant is a similar concept!"

The room goes quiet for a few moments, the exception being the sound of Siluk and Yue's sniggering.

"But...Uncle Sokka…" Ukiuk frowns. "We don't actually have any boomerangs here."

Sokka buries his head in his hands. "How do I explain this without scarring you for life, and or resulting in my sister killing me?!"

"Gran-Gran's explanation," Siluk finally, finally, takes pity on his poor father. "Is that when the spirits see two people who are really in love with each other," here his face screws up slightly, accompanied by retching sounds from Yue, "they reward them by gifting them a baby. Penguin otters bring the baby to the mother, and put it in her stomach with magic and stuff, so it can grow there until it's big enough to come out."

Ukiuk purses his lips. "But we don't have penguin otters in the Fire Nation."

"The spirits probably send another animal, like a turtleduck," Yue replies.

"Tha' makes sense," Ukiuk nods. "So that's why everyone is so happy when the baby comes, because it shows that the spirits are happy with them?"

"That's it! That's it exactly!" Sokka nods, mentally wincing at the thought of what his son is going to want in return for helping his father out, it's not like I haven't suffered enough today, why is it always me?

Ukiuk grins. "Thanks Siluk and Yue."

"S'no problem, coz," Siluk grins back. "We got to an answer to your question eventually."

"And you kinda got to see what Dad's like with babies," Yue adds, smirking.

"Thank you Uncle Sokka," Ukiuk throws his arms round Sokka's neck. "Even if what you said didn't really make any sense."

"Happy to help!" Sokka beams, helping his nephew off the couch, and walking him to the door. "And ignore what your cousins say! You'll see; when your new sibling arrives, I'll be perfectly calm!"

Yue snorts. "Doubtful."

Four months later, when Katara gave birth to Kya, amidst the tears, and the congratulations, and the excited noises from the kids, Sokka was pretty confused to see Siluk and Ukiuk hand over bags of sweets to a smirking Yue. Later, he found out from Toph, it was due to the fact that they had lost a bet with Yue when, as she had predicted, Sokka had unintentionally glanced into the birthing room, and promptly passed out.

A.N. Why do I have such fun tormenting Sokka? I'm sorry Water Tribe Batman DX

About Siluk: Sukka's oldest child, has Suki's hair and Sokka's eyes, name means 'Leader'

About Ukiuk: Zutara's second child, a waterbender, has black hair and blue eyes, name means 'Winter'

About Kya: Zutara's fifth child, also a waterbender, basically a carbon copy of Katara

See you all next time, and Happy Halloween ;)