"How in the fuck did Mulciber not get expelled?!"
Sirius was currently seething – both his hands clenched into tight, balled fists as he and his mates sat in the common room during free period. Mulciber had out right attacked Mary MacDonald with an Unforgivable Curse and was still walking the halls of Hogwarts as if he owned the place. He assumed Dumbledore would have kicked his arse out of school if not just send him straight to Azkaban, but he'd been wrong.
He couldn't even imagine how O'Malley was feeling right now.
"He said something about trying to reform him or some bollocks," James sighed, ruffling his hair as he sat across from him, "Make sure he doesn't up a Death Eater and what not."
"That bastard is way past that James...I just want to...to..."
"Kill him?" Peter filled in the blank.
"That sounds like the right phrase, yeah. Thanks, Pete."
"Killing him isn't going to help anything," Remus noted, quietly sitting on the floor and pulling at a hole in his jumper, "In fact, it'd probably just make things worse in the end."
Sirius groaned and sent his mate a look. "For who, exactly? Him? Who gives a shit about Mulciber?"
"Sirius, honestly, you don't need any more detentions right now...you're practically full up until October!"
"I really don't need your precious words of wisdom right now, Moony," he glared, pushing his hair out of his face and trying to calm down, "I just want to find him and bash his head into a wall."
They all sighed, as if the four of them were trying to hold back from killing Mulciber. "The funny thing is," Peter started, "you'd probably get expelled for that. Which, you know, is stupid when Mulciber had her up balancing on the ledge of the Astronomy Tower...he could have actually bloody killed her!"
"I know, Pete, I know – it's maddening," Sirius sighed, slumping back into his chair, "Dumbledore has gone mental. Too many lemon drops or something; his brain is complete mush." Looking up as someone came down the girl's staircase, he noticed McKinnon brushing back her blonde hair and giving him a small smile.
"How's it going, boys?" She asked, flopping down next to James on the couch, "What's with the sour faces?"
"You heard about Mulciber, right?" Sirius asked carefully, not wanting to be the one to upset her. "That he's only getting a slap on the wrist?"
She nodded a bit solemnly, messing with her heavily pieced ear. "Yeah, I did – Gems and I were just coming up with a way to dispose of the body."
"Feed it to the giant squid?" James offered.
"You've thought of this too?" They all nodded, McKinnon laughing, "Well, at least we have you blokes behind us."
When the bell rang out signaling that it was time for Defense Against the Dark Arts, they all stood and grabbed their things before heading towards the portrait hole. Looking back over his shoulder once, he noticed O'Malley coming down to join McKinnon; the small Irish girl looked past the point of exhausted. Dark blue circles lingered under her eyes and she dragged her feet a bit after catching up with them. Sirius knew she'd spent the night with MacDonald after fighting Twombly on it, and he hadn't seen her in Transfiguration, so he figured she'd taken the day off.
"The Marauders are plotting his demise too," he heard McKinnon tell her, O'Malley laughing a little.
"Good. At least someone will take care of him then...and I swear to God Mar, if he as much looks at me in class...I won't even stop to think before kicking him in the bollocks."
There was a murmur of agreement and Sirius thought how good a show that would've been. "Mary's coming down at dinner, right? Twombly wants her back with us that soon?" McKinnon went on.
"Well, Mare says she's fine, and Twombly said it'd be good for her not to be up there alone for too long...but you know Mary. She never tells anyone how she's really feeling."
"Good ol' exploding Mary – I expect something dramatic in the future."
"Sounds about right...God, I just want to bash his head in and hope he gets a bloody clue."
Sirius smirked, O'Malley as keen as him to get payback when he knew she wasn't the kind of girl to ever do that sort of thing. Walking into class, he headed over to sit down and gave a small grin when O'Malley settled next to him. She was quick to pull out all her things and then rested her head on the desk as he looked over at James and noticed Mulciber sitting across from them.
The cocky Slytherin was sitting with his feet up on the desk and leaning back in his chair, joking about the attack like it was a big old fun party he'd had. Sirius couldn't help grabbing his wand and coughing a spell into his hand that sent Mulciber's chair flying back into the wall. His head made a nice thump; his body slumping to the ground as Sirius whistled on idly and smirked when the idiot started screaming.
"Who did it? Huh?" Mulciber was staring at each of them, pointing with his wand. "Which one of you fucking Gryffindor's did it?!"
"Aw, Mulcy – did you have a nice fall?" Sirius asked, sending him a little wink.
"Yeah, that looked like a blast to me." James added, throwing up a hand for a high-five as Sirius clapped it.
"Fuck you both – who did it?"
"God knows you probably did it yourself, Mulciber," Gemma said tiredly, "Couldn't happen to a nicer twat."
Sirius's eyes went wide for a second before turning back to Mulciber as he began shouting again. "Better watch your mouth before you end up like your little friend, O'Malley."
It was no surprise that O'Malley jumped from her seat a second later; wand at the ready, Mulciber moved to get in the ready too, but he was too late. She sent a spell faster than Sirius had ever seen – blue sparks hitting the Slytherin hard in the chest and sending him back into the wall once again. Though, this time it wasn't just a little fall, no; O'Malley had sent a hex that had Mulciber swelling up all over, resembling a bright red marshmallow.
"You little bitch," Rosier was standing now, his wand flourishing in the air as he made to send a curse at her but Sirius was faster. Jumping in front of O'Malley and defending it back, Rosier fell to the ground and let it bounce off the wall behind him.
"That was a nice try, Evan...but you missed."
"When are you going to learn your place, Black?" Rosier spat, standing again with his wand at the ready.
"Oh bugger off – I'm really tired of the whole Death Eater spiel."
"What is going on here?!" Professor Lightfoot walked in just in time; a cage held in front of him but that couldn't really hide the shocked look on his face. "Rosier – take Mulciber to the infirmary immediately so he can be deflated. Black...detention with me. Friday."
"Professor," O'Malley stood back up, "I really –"
"No need to defend him, Miss O'Malley," Lightfoot assured her, "Mr. Black and I are very used to these little weekly meetings by now."
"I'm the one that sent the curse at Mulciber, Professor Lightwood," O'Malley continued, standing tall as if ready to take her punishment head on, "I'm the one who deserves the detention."
Sirius just stared at her along with the rest of the class; it would have been so easy to just let him take the fall and honestly, he probably would have taken it without another word. O'Malley had never gotten into trouble, even if she did break the rules rarely in the past, and Sirius would have let her keep that record. But, at the same time, he knew she wasn't someone who'd let him take the blame for something he didn't do.
Unlike most people.
"He was about to attack her though, sir – we all saw him!" James piped up, standing up out of his seat to defend her.
"Rosier too!" Lily joined in, "He was going to hurt her before Sirius defended her!"
Sirius just nodded, sitting back in his chair and kicking up his feet. "It's true...the bloke had it coming for days now."
"Even if that is true, Mr. Black, we do not solve our problems with fighting. We take them to a Professor," Lightfoot's mustache twitched under his nose, "Miss O'Malley, please join Mr. Black and myself for that detention on Friday. Am I understood?"
"Yes, of course, Professor Lightfoot."
"Good, now – let's delve into our discussion for the day, shall we? Get out your parchments, class."
Sirius let out a long sigh, resting his feet back on the ground again as he took out his supplies. Idly sketching along the margins as Lightfoot began his lecture, he was slowly slipping into a hazy state before a note landed next to his hand on the desk. Searching around, he caught O'Malley's eye next to him and she gestured for him to open it up.
Thanks, Sirius...again. That's twice in the past two days you've helped me out, and I guess I should thank you for the stairs too. You really need to stop before I feel like I owe you something. Pass on my thanks to James, too...will you? – G.M.
You do owe me, O'Malley – you owe me big. I think your undying love should start things off well. Also being my slave for a day, I think that'd make things even. – S.B.
No thanks needed Gems, nice shot! – J.P.
The day hell freezes over is the day I'm your slave, Black. Don't even think about it because it is not going to happen, no matter what it entails. – G.M.
Just doing my laundry, giving me back rubs, and feeding me bon bons; I think you'll live, love. It's only one day after all. – S.B.
Go die, Black. – G.M.
Yeah, gross Padfoot; G would die if she even got near your laundry. I'm surprised the house elves make it through. – J.P.
Prongs, how are you even writing on here? I haven't seen you even take the bloody note! –S.B.
All my mystical and magical ways, of course. –J.P.
Did you really just call yourself magical? – G.M.
What? I tell nothing but the truth. – J.P.
You're a duffer, Prongs; I don't even know why I associate with you. – S.B.
Big word there, Black...a whole nine letters. Bravo! – G.M.
Shut it, Leprechaun. – S.B.
I'm killing you later for that, just so you know. I think I'll keep this rebellious streak going with a nice murder. – G.M.
That's so mean, I helped you, remember? You make me cry, O'Malley. – S.B.
I didn't know you were even capable of tears; color me amazed. – G.M.
Snape is giving you sexy eyes Sirius, I'd stop looking so chipper. – J.P.
Ugh, I just lost my lunch. Thanks mate.—S.B.
Merlin's beard, so did I. Thanks James. – G.M.
No problem! – J.P.
Sirius laughed just as O'Malley cracked up and they both hid their faces when Professor Lightfoot turned to give them both a glare. It wasn't long until she was back to her note taking and he was doodling a quidditch pitch complete with moving players. It was entertaining at least; Sirius sending Slytherin's towards goal posts and the drawing them exploding. Most might take a look at this and think he needed counseling or it was a cry for help, but Sirius honestly just want to rough a few of them up.
When class was over, he watched O'Malley running up the stairs to get to Arithmancy as the rest of them headed outside for Care of Magical Creatures. Draping an arm over James's shoulder and punching Pete in the arm, they all walked down the hill towards Professor Kettleburn who was currently occupying Hagrid's garden patch.
"Are we sneaking out this weekend?" Sirius asked the rest of the Marauders, keeping back behind everyone else, "I'm dying for a good bottle of firewhiskey."
"Says the alcoholic," Remus joked. "Don't you have detention all weekend?"
He shook his head, a smile gracing his face. "Not on Sunday, my good Moony. I'm pretty sure no teacher in their right mind would have detention on a Sunday – I'm sure even they like a day off now and again. It's like freedom day for everyone!"
"You're nutters Padfoot," James snorted, "completely mad."
"Stuff it, Prongs."
"But anyway, I bet we can sneak out after your detention on Saturday," his best mate grinned, "Make it back late but hey, we can sleep in Sunday!"
"You forget you're serving that one with me, Prongs. Remember?"
James cursed, kicking his foot into the ground. "Yeah, I guess I forgot. Bloody Snape turning us in for one stupid prank."
"He's a real winner, that Snivellus."
"Can you guys grab some candy too?" Peter asked, all of them taking seats on the grass as the Hufflepuff's came to join them. "I'm in some dire need of treacle fudge."
"Of course, Pete – I've got a knackering for some Peppermint Imps anyway, so we might as well stock up on sweets." Sirius agreed, laying back and sending a wink over at a pretty blonde Hufflepuff with pigtails.
"I don't understand your obsession with those." James muttered, ripping grass out of the ground and throwing it over at Remus. "They're just…peppermint. And they make you smoke out the ears...why are you addicted to them?"
"They're delicious? Fuck Prongs, you like Licorice Wands; they're just licorice in the shape of wands. A muggle could make those!"
"Are you two really arguing about sweets? You're giving me a headache." Remus yawned, tossing a pebble at James's head in retaliation for the grass.
"You are no fun, Remus." Peter said tiredly.
"Yeah, Pete's right. Got another stick up your bum Moony? We had a hard enough time getting the last one out! Though," he smirked, taking a rock to the shoulder from his mate, "it was as big as a tree."
"Very funny, Sirius. Your arse humor is ever so entertaining."
"C'mon mate, I thought it was funny!" Remus simply replied with another rock thrown right between his eyes. Sirius groaned and flicked it away before sitting up again and listening to Kettleburn discussing the first creature they got to see this year. It was sure to be a doozy and Sirius only wondered how many limbs his professor would be sacrificing this year alone.
Later that afternoon, the Marauders left behind the pumpkin patch with new plasters on their fingers and settled on the edge of the Great Lake. Looking around at the other students gathering around on such a nice day, he spotted a few Ravenclaws as well as McKinnon, Evans, and O'Malley sitting down to study.
Glancing back at his mates, he noticed James had spotted them as well and shook his head. "Stop staring at Evans, Prongs – you're already drooling like a twat."
"I hate her," James sighed, "I hate her and her stupid red hair."
"There ya go, mate – get angry."
"And her stupid green eyes...and her stupid freckles...and her stupid...her stupid..."
"Her stupid what? Spit it out James. We can't lose you now!" Peter clapped him on the back, Sirius and Remus just laughing, "Her stupid face? Is that what you're trying to say?"
"Yes! Exactly Pete! Her stupid face. It's so…so…stupid."
"A man of so many words." Remus rolled his eyes and yawned, settling back on the grass with the new issue of the Daily Prophet. "Smartest man I know."
"Oh stuff it, Moony," James scoffed, "Stupid is the best word for it."
"Of course it is."
"Just look at her being all…" James gestured his hands around as Sirius laughed again, his mate totally in love and lost to the ginger girl.
"Stupid." Peter filled in the blank.
"Yes, Wormtail...stupid."
Smirking, Sirius turned back and looked over at Evans across the water as she tossed in stones. James had a right to fancy her though, she was a fit bird, but Sirius hadn't really realized that until James started going on about her and had yet to stop. He could still remember the day in their fifth year, Prongs walking into the dorm looking dazed and commenting that Evans had smacked him.
And that was it; love at first hit – James Potter was a kinky bloke.
"So then," Sirius looked back to James, "You well and over her, Prongs?"
"Completely – don't fancy her one bit."
"That means I can try and pull her then," he smiled, "yeah?"
"WHAT!?" The shout rang out all over the grounds; everyone on the lake looked over at them as Sirius rolled on the grass laughing and Remus broke down in hysterics beneath his paper. Peter was the only one trying to console James, the look on his face too priceless. "I hate you, Sirius Black."
"Oh no! Do you hate my stupid face? And my stupid hair?" Sirius pouted, listening to Remus nearly about to piss himself, "I don't know if I can stand it!"
James glared at him through slitted eyes. "I will push you in the lake."
"I'd like to see you try." Sirius joked. "I'm all muscle and you're nothing but pasty skin and bones."
"Bullshit, I've seen you naked."
Sirius chuckled. "Oh, cheeky boy. Like a good look at my bum?"
"That's it!" James stood, running towards him. "In you go!" Sirius made to move out of the way but he wasn't fast enough; James had him rolling down faster than he liked and soon he splashed loudly into the cool shallow water as everyone broke out into laughter.
Standing up and coughing out water, he looked over at the girls laughing at him and glared through his soaked hair. Evans and McKinnon were quick to move but O'Malley hadn't been paying any attention whatsoever and sat there reading another one of her books. Smirking evilly, Sirius knew he'd be paying for this later but didn't really care.
"Hey, O'Malley!" He called out, sloshing towards her, "Feeling a bit hot?"
Just as she moved to look up at him, Sirius shook himself as if he were a dog and sprayed her with cold water droplets as they fell from his hair. O'Malley's mouth opened in a shocked look, wet spots collecting around her freckles as he gave her a big toothy grin and watched as she threw down her book. Standing up, she kicked off her shoes and stomped towards him angrily.
"What, exactly, is your problem, Black?" She spat, Sirius lifting his hands up in surrender.
"That's a pretty scary face you've got there, Leprechaun."
"Why the hell did you just shake water all over me?" She shouted again, his mates laughing somewhere behind him as he backed up a little.
"I dunno," he admitted, "Guess I thought it'd be a good laugh."
"Did you?" Her face was red, now walking in the water as he held his ground. "Did you really?"
"Yeah…I did."
"Why don't you stop acting like your wand size and grow up!"
O'Malley took two more steps towards him and pushed on him hard, sending him backwards into the water as he reached out to try and grab onto something. That something, it turns out, was O'Malley's arms and she quickly fell in on top of him with a loud splash. Sinking down into the deeper water, her feet moved fast and kicked out and right into Sirius's shins as he let her go and then both resurfaced. Shaking his head again, he looked over just as O'Malley spit a long stream of water right into his face.
"Who's acting their wand size now, Leprechaun?"
"I hate you." She swore, muttering under her breath as she started back towards the grass.
"Ah, c'mon," he called after her, "You look adorable all wet!"
"Stupid boys."
"Nice arse, O'Malley!" He shouted once last time, watching as she turned and flipped two fingers up at him. Sirius laughed, swimming back towards his mates and collapsing next to them. "Pretty sure she loves me, boys."
"I think she's closer to kill you," Remus laughed, "but think what you like, Sirius."
"Oh, right, you still fancy her, don't you, Moony?" He asked curiously, watching as his mate's cheeks burned red beneath his scars. "I'll take that as a yes."
Remus shook his head, getting back to his paper. "I don't, honestly. I'm done fancying her...it's been three years for God's sake."
"Aw, but you blushed like a little girl," he taunted on.
"I don't fancy her Sirius – so leave it already."
Shrugging, he pushed his wet hair back and looked over at O'Malley drying herself with a spell as James butted in. "Whatever you say mate, but you could definitely do worse. She's cute."
"And smart." Peter added.
"And has a nice arse." Sirius repeated again.
"Stuff it, you three. And if you're so keen on her arse, Sirius, why don't you ask her out?" Remus asked irritably, not looking up from the Prophet.
Shaking his head, he laid back down. "O'Malley isn't the snogging type, Moony. She's probably the clingy type...and I'm no clingy guy."
"And you're saying I am?"
He shrugged, looking back up into honey brown eyes. "You two would make a good couple, is all. Books, jumpers...I can imagine it being really sickening."
"For the last time," Remus gritted his teeth, "I. Don't. Fancy. Gemma."
"Uh-huh, sure...so, you think she's snogged anyone since Gideon Prewett?" He mused, finding O'Malley again as she and her mates started to walk off. Sirius had never thought of her much unless she was right beside him; she was a library dweller and he was a cupboard dweller – their paths never crossed and he doubted they ever would. She was just a girl, sometimes almost a mate, but never someone he considered snogging. "Didn't you dare him, James?"
"Yep, it was funny," he smiled, "But I bet she has. Like I said, she's cute, and really nice.'
"Maybe you should date her James," Peter thought aloud, "You could get over stupid Evans."
"No, Pete – I think I speak for G as well when I say that's never going to happen."
Peter just shrugged and Sirius could practically see the little gears turning in his head. "Then I will!"
"Go for it, Wormtail!" Sirius laughed, knowing the poor boy didn't have a chance in hell. Though, he figured not many did. O'Malley was married to her books and there didn't seem to be a divorce in sight. "See if you can squeeze between her and her studies, yeah? I'd love to see that happen."
"Are you sure you're okay with it, Moony?" Peter asked timidly, now biting at his thumb like he always did when he was nervous. "I don't want to step on anyone's toes."
"Bloody hell, I don't fancy Gemma! Get over it! Move on!"
"Merlin's pants," Sirius laughed, poking his mate on the forehead, "Doth protests too much."
"Stop quoting accurate Shakespeare," Remus glared, even though he seemed slightly impressed he'd remembered whatever that bloke's stupid books said, "And get off the subject."
"Right, so," Sirius sighed, "How about we get away from girls?"
"What? Getting away from girls?" James jumped up, rushing over as he felt along Sirius's forehead, "I think you're ill, mate!"
"Stuff it, Potter," Sirius groaned, swatting him away, "We don't have to talk about them all afternoon, you know. How about we get back to Mucliber? What are we planning to do?"
Remus dropped his paper and looked at him. "I thought we'd settled on nothing."
"Nothing is a Hufflepuff's way, Moony." James said with a grin, "And we're Gryffindors."
Sirius snorted. "Yeah, well said mate."
"So what?" Remus countered, "We kill him?"
"That's the Slytherin's way."
"Right-o Peter. So, I guess we're going with a good maiming?"
"Did you just use maim correctly?" Remus teased, looking at him with his head cocked to the right. "Are you sure you're not ill or dying?"
"Stop being a tosser, Moony." Sirius sighed.
"Okay, I say I just walk right up to him and punch him in that ugly face of his." James settled it, looking more excited than a kid on Christmas.
"The old Potter method then?" Peter asked.
"I don't think you get to claim punching, Prongs." Sirius said, flexing his hand. "I'm sure someone else did it before you."
"Not as sexily as I do it."
"Right," Peter laughed, "that's true."
"Thanks Pete."
"Back on topic!" Sirius stood and began pacing as they decided on their strategy. "After Prongs punches his face in, I think we do a little one-two."
"Not one-two, you guys got detention for a month last time." Remus groaned, standing up to brush off the back of his trousers.
"No one will catch us this time." Sirius tried to promise.
Remus didn't seem to buy it though. "Like Mulciber wouldn't tell."
"Fuck it," Sirius stood up beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, "If I don't get to kill him, I want to do a walloping one-two!"
"Fine, but I'm not going to be a part of it."
"Can't tarnish the little prefect's record this year, can we?"
"I'll just see you guys at dinner."
Watching as Remus went, he turned back to James and Peter and got a really mischievous look on his face. "Are we ready blokes?"
"Yes, sir!"
"What are you looking at, Prongs?" Sirius asked later, the three of them inside and waiting for Mulciber to show up as James blocked his view. "Is he coming yet or are you just using your big head to annoy me?"
"It's just Snivellus, but Mulciber should be here soon. Also," James looked up at him, "my head is proportionate to my sexy body, thanks much."
Shaking his head, he watched as Snape passed by and twirled his wand through his fingers, "We could attack Snivellus, you know. It's always fun."
"No, no...let's hold back for Mulciber."
"Fine." Sirius pouted, leaning against the wall and playing with the pack of cigarettes in his pocket. "You're no fun anymore, James."
"Sorry mate, but we have to be stealthy."
Sliding down the wall, Sirius stared down at his trainers and threw his fags up and down trying not to fall asleep. If he wasn't so excited about giving Mulciber a good one-two, he'd probably be up in bed sleeping off a long day and drooling on his pillow. But giving the arse what he deserved seemed like a lot more fun.
Beginning to sing under his breath, Sirius moved his feet to the beat as they waited for the stupid bloke to get his fat arse up from the dungeons.
"When it's late at night, and your witch is out, you start to think, that she's not so honest.
She never floo's, not even an owl, and she's out so long, being such a tempest."
"Are you singing 'Howl at the Moon'?" Peter yawned, "Remus hates that song."
"Yeah, but Remus isn't here Pete."
"Shut up, both of you," James whispered suddenly, "He's coming."
Sirius's face perked up in an instant; standing up quickly and getting his wand ready, the three of them slid out in front of Mulciber and trapped him in the corridor. His face was still a bit swollen from O'Malley's hex, but the second James punched him hard in the nose, it began to swell up again just beautifully. Sirius couldn't help barking out a laugh before Peter and him used their wands to finish the job.
Mulciber stood there in shock, suddenly a hundred different shades of purple and his hair lying in a circle around him on the floor. The three of them were laughing so hard they were practically pissing; not only was he purple and hairless, but he was in his tighty whities with a gorgeous elephant trunk for a nose and 'I Love Muggleborns' tattooed across his chest in welts.
It was a thing of beauty.
"Ah, the good ol' one-two." James said happily.
"It's a masterpiece," Sirius grinned, wrapping his arms around his mates, "I'm so proud of us."
"Black! Potter! Pettigrew!"
"And McGonagall comes to the bloody rescue." Sirius turned slowly with his mates, looking at the angry Scottish woman storming towards them. Though, for some reason, she didn't look all that upset.
"Mulciber, go to the hospital wing. You three…with me."
Dragging his feet with his mates, they all followed her down the corridor towards her office with a bit of nerves but no regrets. Peter looked about ready to puke while James looked proud and rubbed at his knuckles. Sirius could see they were swelling up, realizing his mate's hand must've connected with the bone in Mulciber's nose to be that black and blue. Though, it dawned on him suddenly that McGonagall had sent Mulciber bleeding and in nothing more than his tighty whities up to the infirmary.
He couldn't help his look of pride.
"So then Minnie," he said as they shut the door behind them, "How bad is it this time?
McGonagall gave him a hard glare over her glasses as he looked past her and up at the ceiling to escape the look. "If you keep calling me that, you'll never graduate, Mr. Black."
"Sorry, Professor."
"Now, seeing that you three have broken the rules yet again, and quite horribly so – " they all prepared for the worst, "you will all have detention this Friday. I think Professor Lightfoot is running it, so make sure you're there. Eight o'clock sharp!"
"Just Friday?"
"Yes, Mr. Black. Unless you'd like more?" She had a little glint in her eye, something sparkling between amusement and pride. "I'll see you all in class tomorrow."
"See you then!" James smiled, all of them escaping before she changed her mind. "Has she gone mental?"
"Maybe she hates him too." Peter said, happy now that they weren't expelled or anything.
"Of course she hates him, Wormtail. He attacked one of her students, and old Minnie hates people that touch her dear students."
"You don't mess with the Gryffindors!" James cheered.
"Huzzah!" Sirius shouted, accepting the stares he got as they walked in the Great Hall happily. Stopping to send a wink at a group of girls, he walked away to the sound of giggling and smiling even that much wider.
Heading down to the Gryffindor table, he spotted MacDonald back and sitting between her mates. She look all right, her face lower than usual as they talked, but otherwise she looked better than he thought she would. Sirius and James both slid next to Remus as he stared at them and watched James rub at his knuckles.
"All right there, MacDonald?" Sirius asked, her eyes finding him and giving him a small smile.
"Yeah, I'm okay...thanks." She pushed her hair back behind her ear, scraping at her plate with her fork as Sirius remembered O'Malley saying she bottled things up.
"Well, if it helps any," James grinned like a loon, "I just punched Mulciber!"
"Again?" Lily asked, sighing but not overly upset, "Why are you always punching things, Potter?"
"C'mon Lily – he was begging for it!"
"I, for one, am absolutely in love with you for doing that," O'Malley laughed, pouring out ice from her goblet and wrapping it up in a cloth napkin, "Here, put this on your hand."
"You love him?" Sirius complained, "You're supposed to love me!"
"Oh, go and fall off a cliff, Black."
"Harsh, Leprechaun," he joked, "You know...I just cursed him and sent him to the hospital wing in his underpants! Don't I get a congratulatory shag or something?
"I helped!" Peter chimed in.
"Well done Peter," O'Malley smiled, ignoring Sirius, "I'm sure you were brilliant."
"Why won't you love me?"
"It's because of your face. I don't like your face."
"What? Everyone loves my face!" He said, defeated even though O'Malley was smiling at him.
"Do they really?"
"Oh yes, people come from far away to gaze upon my face. It is said to be as beautiful as a million rubies, at least that's what the Queen said. She wanted me to marry some beautiful royal but I declined; I said I'd only marry for love."
"Dear Lord," Remus interrupted, "Here he goes."
"Shut up Remus. Anyway, as I was saying; people travel across desserts and seas, all to see the perfection that is my face. People offer me money, jewels, women…all just to look at me. It's flattering and yet, I feel insecure. I mean, obviously I shouldn't hide my face and keep it to myself, but sometimes I just don't feel that pretty."
"Do you ever shut up?" McKinnon sighed, flicking potatoes at him.
"You hate me too, McKinnon?"
She nodded with a big smile. "Only when you run off with your mouth and waste my time...so always."
"I am offended."
"Oh we wouldn't want that, would we?" O'Malley said, shaking her head as if pitying him. "Maybe we should leave so people can come and gaze upon your face."
"Don't go on my behalf, O'Malley. Unless you can't take my beauty."
"Yes, that's it. You're just too bloody gorgeous for me."
"At least you finally admitted it."
"I hope there's rocks at the bottom of that cliff you fall off."
"Sharp ones." McKinnon added.
"Pointy even." Evans said with a grin.
"Aw, now all the girls are ganging up on me." Sirius whined, looking towards Remus for support, but he only shrugged. "I feel so alone."
"I'm pretty sure your fan club is bigger than your head…and that's saying something." O'Malley smirked, sliding a spoonful of pudding in her mouth as he shook his head. "You will never learn."
"Never learn what?"
"That not all girls want to shag you." O'Malley said simply.
"False."
"True."
"False."
"True!"
"I could get any girl in the Great Hall to shag me."
"You're looking at four," O'Malley looked down at her mates and then changed her mind "…well, three that wouldn't."
"Three, huh?" Sirius smirked, McKinnon giving herself away as she punched O'Malley in the shoulder. "So McKinnon would take a spin in my bed then?"
"No…I'm dating Fabian." She said easily, as if that would stop the teasing.
"I thought you two were just shagging?"
"Still…I like Fabian."
Shrugging, he winked at her and watched her stick her tongue out in return. "My curtains are always open, McKinnon."
"Oh God Sirius, get over yourself." O'Malley groaned.
He pouted at her, the Irish girl just shaking her head and turning to talk to Evans but was stopped short. Evans and James were arguing, Remus was reading and ignoring everyone, and Peter was stuffing his face; even MacDonald looked happier as they fell back into their norm. He wondered if she enjoyed his story.
"Oh," Sirius remember suddenly, turning again, "O'Malley?"
She turned, staring up at him with wary blue eyes. "What now?"
"C'mon, it's happy news!" He grinned, poking her in both her cheeks. "You've got three amazingly handsome detention mates now!"
"Oh Lord above," she whined, Sirius blowing her a kiss, "Please save me."