Disclaimer: I don't own YYH or the characters.

Botan woke up the next morning feeling incredibly exhausted. All of the emotional drama she had to deal with was getting to her. It was getting to be too hard, especially after what she told Kurama the evening before. She had even skipped dinner because she had no desire to eat. Even now, she still wasn't hungry. Now she knew what it meant to be depressed.

She wanted to stay, and not for just those two months at a time. Her friends were here, and they had become her family. She didn't know how some humans did it. Occasionally seeing one's family seemed so difficult to her. She would never be able to do it like Kuwabara did while he was at college. Sure he could visit a lot, but not every day. When she had to return to Spirit World, the weekends couldn't come fast enough. The weeks were always agonizing.

After pitying herself for an hour, she finally decided to get out of bed and start her day. She was a little surprised to see a few pieces of fruit on the windowsill. Yukina and Genkai wouldn't have left her fruit outside at her window, so there was only one person it could be. Butterflies flew in her stomach at the thought of Hiei leaving her food. Think nothing of it, onna, Hiei growled in her head. I did it so that to return what you have done for me so I don't have to hear anyone bitch about it.

Botan smiled when she heard his voice. She knew for a fact that no one knew he was here. Yukina suspected it; maybe Kurama did too; but she was the only one who truly knew. Thank you, she thought back to him. She giggled when he heard him growl in her head again.

Botan felt a little lighter after getting the fruit. It wasn't the most filling thing now that her appetite returned. She ended up going into the kitchen and making herself some breakfast. When she was done eating, she decided to bring some out to Hiei. She hadn't realized that Yukina had seen her leave the kitchen with bowls of food.

"Onna, what the hell is this?" Hiei snapped when she brought him the food.

"Oh hush, Hiei," she said in a cheery voice. "I wanted to thank you for the fruit. It means a lot to me."

He cast her a wary glance before saying, "Not hungry."

Botan laughed. "Oh Hiei, my cooking isn't that bad."

Hiei looked at her skeptically before looking away from her and closing her eyes. "I don't need it. I'd rather hunt in Genkai's forest."

"Always the warrior," Botan said happily. She closed her eyes and rested against the tree as Hiei stared down at her in shock. She saw him as a warrior? True, he fought, but there was a difference between being a fighter and being a warrior. Being a warrior meant that the individual had honor and was respected, but that couldn't be. She must not have known the difference.

"I'm a fighter," Hiei stated. He waited to see what she would say.

"You are clearly more advanced than an ordinary fighter, Hiei," Botan stated. That's something I love about you.

Hiei began to grow nervous hearing her positive thoughts and comments. The ferry girl couldn't ever truly love him. No one could.

"Clearly your stupidity outweighs your cheeriness," he said nonchalantly.

Botan's face fell at his insult. Normally she would shrug it off, but after last night, she was a little more sensitive. Hiei's heart clenched when he saw her fragile spirit break. He hadn't meant to upset her…Enma forbid it if he ever told her he didn't have feelings for her. But wait, if he didn't have feelings for her, why would he feel guilty for causing her pain?

"I'll just leave the food here in case you get hungry," Botan said, her voice cracking. She muttered her version of a curse at her own reaction and then ran back to the temple.

Hiei felt the need to go after her, but he couldn't bring himself to move from his tree.

"That was a little uncalled for," he heard Yukina say. He looked down to his sister in shock. How long had she been there? "Botan was just trying to be nice."

Hiei didn't say anything. He just sighed and looked back up to the sky. "She's too damn sensitive," Hiei said in his defense.

Yukina flashed him a sad smile. "Why don't you go talk to her?" she asked.

"There's nothing to say," Hiei answered.

Yukina sighed and said, "There never is with you, is there?"

"What are you talking about?" Hiei said pretending that he didn't know.

"Oh, Hiei," Yukina sighed. "What did they do to you?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Hiei admitted. He honestly had no idea who the 'they' was.

"Our people," Yukina said hesitantly. When she saw Hiei's expression become blank and when he still hadn't said anything, Yukina went on. "I don't know what happened to you after what happened, but please don't close yourself off to everyone because of what our people did."

"Yukina," Hiei said with a slight warning in his tone.

"Did you know I knew?" Yukina pressed gently. The guilt in his eyes was the only answer she needed. "Just, go talk to her. You'll regret it if you don't."

Yukina walked back towards Genkai's temple leaving Hiei alone to think. He certainly hadn't pictured that, if he ever pictured either of them confronting each other. She didn't try to force him to admit it; she just told him that she knew. She gave him advice signifying that she wasn't going to turn her back on him. No, he hadn't pictured that.

But what she said about Botan…would he truly regret it? If Botan were to leave now and never return, could he live with it? No, he decided as he flitted his way to the temple. He went to the room Botan was staying it, but she was not in it. He used his energy to try to locate her, but he couldn't find her. Onna? he tried to call in her mind. No answer.

Just then Yukina rushed into the room with a paper in her hand and tears threatening to fall. "Yukina, what's wrong?" Hiei asked while gently grabbing her arm, attempting to comfort his sister.

"She's gone," Yukina whispered. Hiei's eyes widened. There was no way that one insult chased her away, nor was there any way she could get back to Spirit World so quickly. And even if she did, she would be back. She would get over his insult and then come back. But before that, Hiei knew he was going to have to deal with hurting Botan, his sister, and angering the fox demon that had threatened him the day before.

"She'll be back," Hiei said, although his voice sounded more like a plea. "She has to come back."

Yukina shook her head and put the note down before casting her brother a sad glance and leaving the room. Hiei decided to look at the note and nearly gasped at what he read.

To all my friends,

I've had a great time with you all, but I think it's time for me to take my job a little more seriously. Those souls aren't going to ferry themselves. The trip has become too daunting and I just can't bear it anymore. I'm going to stay in Spirit World for a while instead of coming to visit. I don't know if or when I'll come back to visit. This might be goodbye for good. Please, take care of yourselves.

Botan

Hiei tossed the note across the room. Reading it had left a bitter taste in his mouth. She couldn't mean it. There was no way she would abandon everyone she cherished just because he called her stupid. He had called her that so many times. She had never seemed insulted by it before. Hiei shook his head trying to rid himself of this feeling. It was like how he felt with Yukina, only it felt worse. At least he stayed a part of Yukina's life, in a way. But with Botan…he single-handedly chased out the one female who could feel so strongly for him.

He left Genkai's compound and went back into the woods to kill something, anything. When he entered, he sensed nothing and began to randomly attack the trees just to let out his anger. He didn't even sense Kurama before he rammed into him. Hiei gasped for air and looked up at Kurama like a deer caught in the headlights. Kurama was about to make good on his threat, but stopped when it seemed like Hiei was zoned out and hyperventilating. Kurama's expression softened slightly, pitying his friend. He tried to help Hiei up, but the fire demon still hadn't registered his presence.

"Hiei," Kurama called gently. He received no response. "Hiei, look at me. What happened?"

"She called me a warrior," Hiei stated, still not truly registering that Kurama was there. "I'm not honorable enough to be a warrior…I chased her away." Kurama shook his head at his friend. Botan had given him a compliment, but he thought too little of himself to accept it and wanted her to take it back. "Kur…ama?"

"What?" Kurama asked with a slight snap.

"I do not know what this feeling is that I am feeling," Hiei admitted in his hazy state.

Kurama frowned at the fire demon. "It's called guilt, Hiei. You'll be feeling that for a while."

Hiei closed his eyes in response. Kurama really didn't want to leave him so vulnerable in the middle of Genkai's forest, but Hiei refused to let him help him up. "Leave me," Hiei growled.

Kurama sighed and began to walk away. He paused before saying, "Only you can fix this." Then he left Hiei to brood in his guilt. He had been right; Hiei definitely had feelings for Botan.