A/N: I really love winter break. It gives me time to think about stuff outside of politics and music. I hope to keep the frequent updates up. And again, thank you for all the feedback. Enjoy!

Santana Lopez wasn't an idiot like most of the people I associated with. Sure, she wasn't a straight A student, and she'd play dumb for the benefit of guys or to make Brittany not feel so slow, but she definitely wasn't stupid, which is why I shouldn't have been surprised that she'd figured everything out. Whether I liked it or not, Santana knew me really well, and without Brittany to distract her, she was a lot more perceptive. I stood there, staring at her. She had her arms crossed over her chest and her foot was impatiently tapping on the floor, but I didn't want to say anything.

"Well?" she finally said, clearly frustrated with the silence.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said, and she rolled her eyes.

"Cut the crap, Quinn. I didn't miss your little eye-fucking display out there. So spill."

"Why should I tell you anything?I don't owe you."

She laughed. "Actually, I'd say since I didn't properly lay your ass out after you told Sylvester about my boob job, you owe me quite a bit."

"Oh shut up, Santana! You couldn't take me if you tried!"

She stepped up into my face. "Oh, you sure about that?"

I hated to admit it, but Santana did scare me a little bit. I could be a cold-hearted bitch, but I was all head-games and embarrassment. Santana, on the other hand, had no problems whatsoever with beating people into compliance. I had the height advantage, and strength wise, I was convinced we were pretty even since we both had the same cheerleading training, but she had years of experience and crazy on her side.

"I...I...please don't tell anyone, San." As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted them. Santana got this satisfied smile on her face.

"I knew it. God, Quinn, exactly how messed up are you? First teenage pregnancy, now lesbianism? You're really going to hell now." She really knew how to hit a nerve, didn't she? Unfortunately she didn't stop there. "I could ruin you, y'know? I could put you back on the bottom of the pyramid. Better yet, I could probably get enough girls freaked out that you'd get thrown off the team. And what's Sam gonna think when he finds out?"

"Whatever, I'd just tell everyone about you and Brittany." She scowled at me.

"First of all, don't bring Brittany into this. She didn't do anything to you. Second, that's totally different. We do what we do to get guys to want us."

I laughed. "Are you serious? Kissing at parties I get, threesomes I get, but screwing each other in private is NOT to get guys attention." She was fuming, and I felt a little bad, but it had gotten the attention off of me. "Well, I guess you two aren't screwing now that she's getting it from Artie."

"Shut the fuck up!" she yelled.

"Oh, did I hit a sensitive spot? Don't like seeing your girl getting treated well?"

"Oh, you're one to talk! When Berry was hurting, did she go running to you? No, she went off and tried to fuck Puckerman. She doesn't care about you!"

"Oh well then why did she kiss me?" I really hated my mouth sometimes.

Santana looked at me, shocked. "No way. No fucking way did you two actually hook up. Did you sleep with her?"

"No! We just...ugh, this is none of you business!"

"Q, you can tell me, or I can tell everyone else."

"What's to say you won't tell everyone anyways?" This whole encounter hadn't gone exactly as I'd expected. It almost felt...nice getting this out. It would've been better if it was just about anyone else, but I kind of felt like Santana could understand it all better, considering she had all of her Brittany issues. That didn't mean I trusted her, though.

"Oh, I'm not saying I won't air out your dirty laundry and enjoy seeing you fall, but at least you have a chance of me keeping my mouth shut if you tell me all the juicy details."

"Why do you even want to know?" I asked.

"Look around, Quinn. Now that Brittany's rolling off into the sunset, you're my only friend." I was confused. Was she opening up to me? Was Santana Lopez showing emotion? Right before I went to speak, she held her hand up. "Don't get all emotional, Fabray. It's not like I'm gonna start hugging you and crying."

I took a deep breath, deciding that deflecting wasn't working anymore.

"It started about a week ago. Rachel and I ended up...together in the choir room."

"So you did sleep with her. Never took Berry as one to give it up that easily."

"No, we didn't get that far. We just made out." I needed to keep some information to myself. "Then, that day I got her slushied and I followed her into the bathroom, we kissed again. That's about it."

"That's it?" I nodded. "Wow, that was really disappointing."

"She told me she loves me," I said. "She told me she loved me, and I started a slushie war. What the hell is wrong with me?" I could feel the tears falling down my face, and I hated myself for showing so much weakness, for being cruel to Rachel, for admitting to myself that I felt badly about being cruel to Rachel. It was all too much.

"Q...don't...don't cry," Santana said, walking towards me. "I...I don't know what to do." She patted my shoulder, and I would have laughed if I wasn't so devastated. She started to walk away. "Look, I'll back off of this...for now. Just know, if you breath a word about me and Brittany, your sexcapades with Manhands is public domain, got me?"

I nodded, unable to really speak. This was getting messy. I could somewhat convince myself that Rachel had basically taken advantage of me. I mean, she'd started everything. She was the one that was in love with me, not the other way around. Now that Santana knew, though, everything became more real. It was harder for me to ignore all of the feelings I suddenly felt for Rachel. Then again, was it really all that sudden? There is a fine line between love and hate...

No, that's not possible. She loves me, and I'm going crazy, that's all.

Glee rehearsal that day was awkward. Sam and I were getting a lecture from Mr. Schue because we hadn't worked on the solo we were supposed to have at Regionals. The club was in a funk, mostly because Rachel was in a funk, and as much as everyone hated that she was such a diva, she was the heart of the club. Santana alternated between winking at me every time she caught me staring at Rachel (which, oddly, made me smile a little), and staring holes into the back of Artie's head. The part that bothered me most, though, was that Finn was staring at Rachel. I know I didn't have any right to be jealous, because Rachel wasn't mine, and besides, she didn't want him...right?

After glee practice, I hung around, hoping Rachel would do the same. I wasn't disappointed.

"You've been uncharacteristically quiet lately," I said, trying to break the tension.

"Yeah, well, nothing like being humiliated to put you in your place."

"You've always been humiliated, Rachel."

She snapped her head to meet my eyes. "Not like this. Not ever like this."

I looked at the ground. I couldn't take looking her in the eyes anymore. "I didn't mean for this to turn into a fight."

"Isn't that all we do, Quinn. That is, when you're not humping me up against the piano." I blushed, not expecting her to be so blunt. "There's obviously a reason you stayed behind, so say what you have to say, or leave me alone, because I have a few songs I need to work on to present to Mr. Schuester before Regionals."

"I just...I wanted to let you know that Santana knows...about what happened."

"What?" I heard the fear in her voice. "Why would you do that?"

"I-I didn't do anything. She figured it out on her own. I just filled her in on some of the details." I heard footsteps and when I looked up, Rachel was right in my face.

This never ends well...

"Why? Y'know, I have half a mind to slap you again!"

"Please don't..." I was speaking barely above a whisper. "She said if I didn't tell her everything, she was going to tell everyone about us."

"There is no us, Quinn!" I hadn't expected that to hurt so much. I was sort of wishing she'd just slapped me. "What exactly did you tell her?"

"That we kissed...and that you love me...that's it."

"That's it?" I'd never seen Rachel this mad. Even in the bathroom she hadn't been this keyed up. I felt a little scared...and more than a little turned on, but I tried to push that feeling back in my mind. "You just told her my biggest secret! Thanks a lot, Quinn. I feel so much better now!"

"Rachel, there wasn't anything else I could do."

"Yes there was! You could've denied everything!"

"I tried, but she knew! She's like, psychic or something!"

"Quinn, stop!" she yelled at me. "Just...stop. All we can do at this point is hope that Santana doesn't tell everyone."

"Why do you care so much?" I asked. "Would you even care if everyone knew about you? You've always been pretty open about how you feel."

Rachel just shook her head. "Y'know what? I don't feel much like singing right now." She went to walk past me, and I grabbed her arm. Our eyes locked again, and I felt like I was getting lost in hers.

"I'm sorry...about everything." I felt us moving closer to each other until I could feel her breath on my lips. "You really are beautiful, Rachel." Right before I closed the distance, she pulled away.

"I can't. I can't do this again. It hurts too much when I see you with him like nothing happened between us." Rachel walked to the door, but before she walked out, she looked back at me. "I'm not keeping this hidden for myself, I'm keeping it hidden for you."

With that, she walked out the door. I couldn't hold it in anymore. I let the sobs shake my entire being, I sank to the floor and cried until I couldn't breathe. I didn't understand anything. A week ago, I didn't think I'd ever be able to occupy a room with Rachel Berry without wanting to punch her in the mouth. Now all I wanted to do was kiss her tears away and hold her until she knew I would never leave her. I tried to feel that hate that I was so sure of such a short time ago, but it was gone, replaced by something I didn't dare identify.

I walked home that day. Sam offered me a ride, but I turned him down. I couldn't face him. I didn't feel like I could face anyone, and as I looked down at my finger, I noticed I hadn't taken his stupid ring off. I'd been tempted to take it off and throw it as far as I could, but Sam didn't deserve that, so I just took it off and put it in my backpack.

I felt stuck...trapped in my own life for the second time in less than a year. When I got home, I went straight to my room, ignoring my mother's half-hearted curiosity and questions about my day. I stared at myself in the mirror, trying to find the person that I was before my life had changed. Before Rachel, before the baby, before the glee club...the cold-hearted bitch that was all about the teasing and not about the pleasing. The captain of the Cheerios and president of the celibacy club that no one besides Santana Lopez dared to cross.

Had I really changed that much? Had I really abandoned that whole persona? Let's be honest; it wasn't who I really was when you pulled back all the layers, but I'd been so good at projecting that image that I could occasionally convince myself that I was really that way. That I really was untouchable. I guess I'd learned that from my father, but I hadn't perfected the skill like he had. The cracks were showing, and although I'd become captain again and I had a nice piece of arm candy, there was one crack in my mask that refused to be ignored.

And its name was Rachel Berry.