Chapter four - Friends?

Hey! Here is chapter four. It's from Bella's point of view. It's a bit of a filler but I thought I could start to explain a couple of the back stories. It's also kind of like last chapter an insight to how Bella works mentally.

Anyway here you go! :)

Reviews, please lovelies!

I know I need a cover but I work on chromebook :(, if anyone knows a browser programme or could make me one I'd be greatful drop me a PM!:)

All mistakes are my own... No beta!

All characters but any non recognisable to twilight belong to Stephanie Meyer.

Bella.

I sat at the foot of his bed, just watching his chest rise and fall. His arm was bandaged up and he had a drip in his left. I can still feel his blood on my hands as I scrambled to try to fix him, then I had noticed the overturned meds. It was the fit that hit me the worse, he had always suffered from them as a kid and his meds were meant to sort that but for some reason taking too many pushed him in the opposite direction. I found him lying on the floor, convulsing and puking. It wasn't pretty. I don't even think he knew he was puking. I felt guilty, initially I had felt pissed off and thought he was drunk… I was just going to leave him like that.

Esme had to get new carpets. The whole house fitted. The blood was everywhere, she bleached it for days but nothing brought the bleach out. I didn't tell her about the scrap of paper that said sorry. I just let her believe he had a fit whilst holding a photo frame and thats how he hurt himself, and when he tried to grab the phone he knocked the bottle over. I knew he hadn't wanted to kill himself but he had wanted to hurt himself. I also saw the photo of me in the frame. I felt guilty, like it was my fault he had done this. Did he feel sorry when Jake and your Dad carried you out the bathtub? My subconcious asked. I didn't know if he even knew what I had done. He didn't know about Daisy-Mae until he met her and he didn't know about Jake and me… He had only found out on his first date back and my Mom dying.

I knew that he would know about Daisy, he was a douchebag and he broke my heart but Edward was always smart. He was sharp, intune. I had always said he should have been a detective. I was ripped in half, because half of me wanted to make him better- look after him and love him but the other half of me wanted to spit on his face and never see him again. I wasn't even pissed about him leaving me with Daisy-Mae, I loved her far too much to ever resent him for that. Infact I'd always be thankful for that.

I knew that I would always love him, he was my oldest and dearest friend. There was many a time when I sat in bed awake at night feeding Daisy-Mae, wishing that it was him snoring to my left instead of Jake. Or it would be him coming through the door at night with flowers. When I had agreed to let Jake be Daisy's Daddy and my other half, I had felt nothing for him romantically- I loved him dearly as my best friend but I didn't see him as a lover. I had honestly stopped picturing Edward when we had sex or made out but it wasn't Edward. I often asked myself why I had to love the douchebag over the nice guy. Maybe I just liked danger, I stayed with Jake because I was comfortable, we didn't argue and he did what I wanted. I knew that spark would come, it was just taking light to come on.

I had to stay with Jake as well, although Edward gave me the sperm to make Daisy-Mae. In her little world Bella was Momma and Jake was Daddy. And Jake had saved my life.

I looked up at Edward, his fingers were twitching. I could tell he'd be up in the next little while. I didn't know what to do. Fuck, I could do with a coffee.

I walked down to the end of the corridor, the hospitals shiny lino reflecting my tired face. I was coming late at nights, it wasn't technically allowed because it was after visiting hours but my cousin Bree was a nurse and I had just bought her and Diego a house. I wasn't just living off of Daddy's money, when Dad lost Mom he lost his mind a little. So I had been quietly working away at the company under a ruse a false name, as an eco-researcher into more viable fuels and sustainable fuels away from fossil fuels and last November just before Mom passed I had invested money into some Eco systems like Solar energy and Electric cars, and I had turned a huge profit for the company. Dad gave me the money I had made and ran everything past me when it came to investing, it was a lot of responsibility for being only twenty two but some how I was named the next big thing in renewable business.

I wasn't living the dream of being a doctor but I loved my job, I was still helping the world. I was helping more people and the future generations. I sighed, picking up the americano that had been poured from the machine. I took a sip, the coffee burning my tongue from the heat. It tasted like shit but I could already feel the caffeine working it's magic. I grabbed the property paper from a stand to my left, I could use with buying a bigger house. I liked to remain inconspicuous, not flaunt my wealth like Jasper did but I hated living in an apartment. And besides, he did live off Daddy's money- he was 30 and already on his third wife but I liked Angela, she brought out the best in him. His first wife Maria had been awful, he had met her at college. He studied philosophy, he was brainy and still hasn't had a proper job, he couldn't cope with the harshness of reality, he just gets more letters after his name. I loved him to bits but for someone so smart he was an idiot. Maria had just saw his second name and the dollar signs, she was still trying to sue him for money and her kid who wasn't even his. But she claimed it was, even after the paternity test. His second wife Lauren was a little better, she hated me with a passion but I honestly couldn't care less. I still had to deal with her. Unfortunately Jasper had spawned a child with her. A little boy called Seth, who was his Daddy's spit. Seth was four years older than Daisy but they had never met, I had never met him either, Lauren just came on her own for the money 'that we owe her for Seth'. I didn't like her. I never once asked for a bean from Jacob for Daisy or Edward, I done it myself. Obviously Jacob liked to buy her things and he'd pay for shopping once every so often but I wouldn't ask him for it. That was my job as her Mother. A Father can leave, a Momma is for life- well in my case.

I know that Angela is good for him, she's a renowned photographer. She's worked everywhere from National Geographic to Vogue. She was even tipped to do Edward's big wedding before the mud pie incident, which I still had to shout at him for. So much to do, so little time. No rest for the wicked- that was a favourite of Mom's but she would say- "No rest for a Momma, Bella". When I would whine just after having Daisy-Mae. But Angela was good for my big brother. She had made him wait till they'd been steady for three years before they got married- he even had to ask her Dad for her hand. He doted on her. She had told me in last weeks skype call that she was forcing him to get a job. He had even applied for a few. She was also heavily pregnant with their first child, a girl. She had also forced him to fight for custody of Seth, a battle which they were winning. She had told me they would even move back to the states- even if it meant being a thousand miles away from home. Anything for her boy- she had openly admitted she'd take Seth as her own and had bonded with him when he went over last summer. She was a good woman. I loved her like the big sister I never had.

I opened the door to Edward's room, I sat down on my shitty plastic chair. I checked my watch, 11:03. I would have to leave in twenty seven minutes to get home. I sighed rolling my head back trying to crack my neck into joint, it wasn't working. I sighed again- this time it was for effect.

"Bella?" His voice was cracked, tired and barely more than a whisper. My head shot up, eyes linking with his. Although I could see the bags lined under his eyes and the bruises from where had fell around his eyes- they were still that hazel colour. The same as my little girl's. He was still the most beautiful man I had saw. Even with the bruises and stubble that was sprouting from his face. He jumped up in his bed, and winced.

"You broke your leg falling down the stairs." My voice wasn't friendly but it wasn't harsh like i had been in the walmart.

"Oh okay…" He looked down with a sigh. He was broken and not just as in a metaphor sense. I think he was broken inside, he looked to me then the drip a few times and up to the ceiling. He was thinking. He wanted something, he had never changed really. "Bella… I know sorry isn't enough for what I've put you through but…" I looked at him, sorry? Yeah damn right it wasn't enough. It never would be. Nothing would be enough but goddamn it if it wasn't for the love I felt for his Mother and Brother, not to mention what they done for my baby girl- I wouldn't be near him. I chucked once at this thought, who are you trying to kid Bella? Him or yourself? It was more myself than him.

"Edward… sorry will never make up for it. Goddamn you broke me! You broke me so very much! If it wasn't for finding out I was pregnant, I probably would have tried to kill myself again!" I wanted to hurt him, then we could be even. "I hated you for a long time. A very long time. I hated myself for falling for you in the first place but mistakes happen… I'm only here because your Mom asked me to come here." I muttered, trying to keep a straight face. I always had been a great believer in a no emotion is more hurtful than anger or sadness "And to be fair I feel nothing for you now. Just another face on the TV."

That was a big fat lie Isabella.

"Bella… I am sorry and I'll always hate myself for leaving the way I did but could we at least be friends? I missed you." He wouldn't look at me, his pride wouldn't let him but I knew he was hurting. He needed this, and I didn't need to give Esme another check for 40 grands worth of carpets. I didn't grudge her, it was just I didn't want to find him like that again and I didn't want Esme to find me hugging his cold body kissing his head and cheeks. Tears pouring down my face, trying to make him better.

"Fine, we can try." I muttered, my hands wiping down my jeans. Friends… I could do this… I had to try. I had no choice.