Emprise Du Lion
Report 023
We have successfully made camp in Emprise Du Lion. Now I know I'm not one to complain about the weather (quiet, Leliana) so I'm going to keep it brief, but let's just say I spend most of my morning stopping Varric and Iron Bull from throwing snowballs at each other, and… well pretty much anyone in sight. Bull caught Dorian straight on the nose earlier and I thought the man was going to implode into a abomination right then and there. In the end Scout Harding stopped them both with a few well aimed shots. (Never challenge that woman to a snowball fight, turns out it is another of her many talents. Have we upped her risk pay yet? Josie, I really think we should).
Leliana your agents were correct, and we have indeed found a horrifying amount of red lyrium. Really, all this place consists of is snow, red lyrium, and grumpy Orlesians - who are the most difficult of those three.
I'm requesting more blankets for both my team and Scout Hardings. Please send as soon as possible. Also Iron Bull won't stop talking about this coco powder? Varric seems to know what he's talking about, I think it's a special kind of poultice. Maybe for his horns. Someone investigate it for him in any case.
Yours extremely cold,
Lavellan.
Report 024
What do you mean 'a horrifying amount' isn't an accurate unit of measurement? Creators, Cullen. There's a lot. There's a lot of red lyrium. You wouldn't be able to swing your sword without hitting some red lyrium. Yesterday I wasn't concentrating where I was going and I literally walked into some red lyrium. There is an inordinate amount of red lyrium. I hope this is clear enough for you. Red lyrium, there's a lot of it.
Now Dorian is one to complain about the weather, and has asked me to deliver his formal complaint regarding his field work. Josephine, I'm afraid you'll have to file this. I had to pay a messenger just to send the damn thing. Twenty pages! Our poor bird couldn't carry it. Even now he's sulking, watching the daily snowball fight under his, Iron Bull's, and Varric's blanket. To be fair to the man, his moustache is growing icicles. Moustacicels? Moustachicels!
Sorry.
It occurs to me while I write this, that, as I'm now the Inquisitor, it is probably me who should be dealing with Dorian's complaints. But… well… I have to share a tent with the man, and he hogs the blankets at the best of times, including the spares.
Yours, and wishing Josephine good luck,
Lavellan.
Report 025
It's been two weeks since my last report. Iron Bull swears he saw a dragon flying over the broken bridge, now he won't shut up about it. Dorian has made a 'Dragon Jar' and forces Bull to put in a sovereign every time he so much as mentions the D word. I quite like it actually, the dragon jar pays for our drinks at the end of the night, and Iron Bull doesn't seem to mind, it hasn't deterred him from mentioning dragons in any case.
Thank you for sending an extra blanket Cullen, but that problem fixed itself. Dorian is now sharing a tent with Iron Bull (which I find a little odd, I didn't think they got along). And me and Varric the other. Varric is a much nicer sleeping companion… though he takes up more room than you'd expect for a dwarf.
Anyway, onto business. We're pushing the red templars back to the fort. So far I'm on 25 kills, while Bull has 27. Varrics taking bets if any of you are interested?
Yours,
Lavellan.
Report 026
Leliana I meant a bet in my favour. Why do you all have such little faith in your inquisitor? Honestly, if I didn't know any better I'd say you made me the leader solely because I was first up the steps.
The scores are as follows: 32 - 33. See? I'm catching up. Though Iron Bull REALLY doesn't like it if you immolate an enemy just before he strikes. But yesterday he swung his axe right over my head and decapitated the demon I was dealing with, so really, the man has no say any more. He's lucky I'm not sending him back.
RIGHT OVER MY HEAD. It was so close. Too close. And worst of all, he would have won the competition if I'd been incapacitated. Leaving us at 32 - 34.
Can I still file complaints if I'm the inquisitor? I realise you're getting a lot of paper work from this excursion. More than usual. One of you go tell Krem instead. Maybe he can offer up advice, he's had to avoid Bull's heavy lifting for years.
Yours, sure I have a nick on my ear,
Lavellan.
Report 027
No time. Pushing Templars to fort. Meeting heavy resistance. Suspect they have giants. Troops doing well, but would benefit from their commander. Formally requesting your presence for final push, Cullen.
Lavellan.
Report 028
May I start with my formal apologies for not sending a report sooner? It has been a hectic few weeks, and I do not believe we would have taken the fort had it not been for the Commander's help. Cullen's troops rallied under his expert leadership and we suffered light causalities as a result.
My suspicions over the giants were correct. It seems the Templars have been feeding them red lyrium, with terrifying results. Though their diet did little to keep them under the Templar's control, we should still take into account that this is a new enemy we may face.
I must say, it feels weird writing a report to just the two of you. Maybe we should gossip about Cullen while he's not receiving them? For instance, I now know why Varric calls him curly. A few days ago the commander ran out of his hair cream, and as a result his hair has sprouted into tight, blonde curls. Its really quite a sight. He doesn't like talking about it. Varric does.
In any case, the commander and half his troops shall be returning to Skyhold shortly. He insists on establishing a firm foothold in the fort before leaving us. And seeing to the repairs of the bridge.
Me and my team are going to stay and kill the dragon.
After all, Iron Bull would never forgive me if we left without at least seeing the damn thing.
Yours, safe and well,
Lavellan.
Report 029
Why do you both keep enquiring to my sleeping arrangements? Does it have anything to do with Cullen's presence? Well sorry to disappoint (you gossiping fish wives) but I'm still sharing a tent with Varric. Of course, I don't know why you'd think otherwise. Really, it's highly unprofessional. I'm filing a formal complaint against you both. Stop talking about me! And don't tell the Commander we talked about this!
Cullen left yesterday in any case. Not before engaging in the daily snowball fight with Iron Bull and Varric. It was quite a sight actually. Once the Commander had joined in, his troops seemed to think it was fair game. And by the end it was Harding's scouts against Cullen's soldiers. Even Dorian threw a snowball. Aimed a quick one right at Bull's head. Sure, it wasn't so much a snowball, rather an icy blast from his staff, but revenge is revenge no matter how you serve it. And Iron Bull's bruises will go down eventually.
In slightly more serious news, the bridge repairs are going to take longer than anticipated. Our dear Commander insisted a few planks of wood and something to stabilize it all would work just fine. But the local Orlesians are insisting their bridge wouldn't be repaired unless it was repaired properly – including their fancy statues. Cullen believes this is all 'ridiculous,' but has little choice in the matter truth be told. As a result we've hired several stone masons, and shall be putting the dragon hunting off until we return.
I just broke the news to Iron Bull. He's sulking just outside camp, staring at the bridge as if he can will the dragon over. Varric has promised to provide him with some coco powder to compensate though. (Which turns out is just an ingredient needed for a hot drink. Not even an alcoholic drink. Who would have thought it, right?)
As a result, expect us a few days after Cullen. Maybe more. Our group can't take three steps without someone throwing a snowball now.
Yours,
Lavellan.
Report 030
I almost forgot! The scores of our competition are as follows:
Me - 53. Iron Bull - 52. Cullen - 57 (don't ask).
Still, even though the commander beat us both, I've still scrapped together more kills than Iron Bull. So you owe me some money, Leliana. Don't think I've forgotten.
The fact that me and Bull would have probably drawn if he could have killed the dragon is neither here nor there. Please don't mention that fact to him. Not until he get his coco at least.
Yours, soon to be a little richer,
Lavellan.
Thanks for reading! If there are any particular characters you'd like to be included in the next party then please let me know! I know Blackwall hasn't had much (if any) time in these reports yet, so I'm always open to suggestions/preferences.