A/N: You guys are amazing! Your reviews have made my day! Here's the next chapter! Chapter five might not be up until Wednesday or Thursday as weekdays are quite busy, but I'll try and have it done by Monday or Tuesday! Also, I made a slight revision due to a plot error, however, it is now fixed. Basically, Castle went into the warehouse wearing a vest, but when he was shot, it was suddenly gone! Oops... So, Castle now went into the warehouse wearing a vest, but it was taken off by his captor, and then he was shot. That's all!

What were all those dreams we shared
Those many years ago?
What were all those plans we made now
Left beside the road?
Behind us in the road

More than friends, I always pledged
'Cause friends they come and go
People change, as does everything
I wanted to grow old
I just want to grow old

The End, by Pearl Jam

At first, Kate doesn't know what to do. So she does what she's trained to do: she takes charge.

"Ryan, Esposito!" She calls. They come running towards her. "Search the building! Castle might still be here. My phone's in the car, I'm going to call Gates, CSU, and Lanie. Gates is going to have to do a press conference, and we'll need CSU to search for prints, DNA, anything." Her voice falters. Anything. She needs something, some kind of clue. Something needs to be left behind. She needs to catch these sons of bitches and make them pay for what they did. She is going to fire a round into them, just like they did... She can't think it. It's too terrible.

"Beckett? Kate." She ignores Esposito the first time, but upon hearing her first name glances at him. She can't meet his eyes, she just can't. "Why didn't you show up at the Precinct? We need to know what happened."

"Castle and I came in to search the building. I had him armed just in case, you know how tough these neighborhoods are. We were held at gunpoint, and forced to drop our guns. They... they wanted to know what I knew about my mother's case. These past couple months, Castle's been searching. He got a hold of some important files, and he told them..." Her voice betray her, showing the weakness behind the emotionless facade. She took a deep breath. "He told them I didn't know anything, that it was him who had been looking. They... they locked me in the office. I tried, I tried to get to him. But h-he..." She still couldn't force herself to say it. "Left chest. He didn't move. God, he didn't move." She put her face in her hands, unable to face the world. Unable to face her partners. Because all of this was her fault.

Ryan walked up to her, and before she knew it, she had her arms wrapped around his torso, hugging him and letting the tears flow once again. There was nothing romantic about it. They were siblings mourning the loss of their brother. All of them. And when she pulled away from Ryan, Esposito was right there, offering the same comfort. It was strange, but she had never hugged either of them. Ever. And right about now was when she deserved it the least, yet needed it the most.

"Hey? You gonna be okay?" Ryan asked her sympathetically. She knew he didn't mean long term; none of them would be able to get over the loss of their partner. He was simply asking if she could make it through the next couple hours. And she appreciated it. It gave her control for a few hours, and then, when she was alone, she could show that vulnerability. She could mourn properly.

"Yeah." She whispered with a nod. They went separate ways, Ryan and Esposito searching the building, and Kate walking back towards her car. She cringed when she approached the empty passenger seat, where Rick had sat, alive and well, waving at strangers, just a few hours before. Forcing her eyes away, she reached into the glove compartment, pulling out her phone and dialing the Precinct.

"This is Captain Gates speaking." The captain answered.

"This is Detective Beckett. Castle's been shot. He's gone. I think he's dead."

The past couple hours had been hell. The boys hadn't found him. Lanie had hesitantly explained to her that it was too difficult to tell if he had been shot and laid there for a while, causing the blood to build up, or if he'd been wounded fatally, and the blood had accumulated quickly. Then, she spent an hour in the interrogation room, reliving the horrors of the warehouse as she explained it all as an official witness. CSU had found prints, but they weren't in the system. The guns left behind offered no help either; all three had been stolen in the past two years. Security footage found a black van without a license plate leaving the scene, but the killers still wore their ski masks, so there was no way to ID them.

Not that she was leading the case. It had been given to Ryan and Esposito. Gates had thought they were too close to it, but they had stormed into her office. After a few minutes of yelling, she, looking quite rattled, reluctantly gave it to them. She too had argued with Gates, who had agreed to post-pone the press conference for an hour so that Kate could have time to inform Castle's family of his death herself. The Captain had tolerated the yelling well, better than expected. Perhaps she understood the pain of watching your partner die, or perhaps she was just sick of fighting. Either way, she was handling the writer's death graciously, while still ensuring order. And Kate was thankful.

Rick hadn't been declared dead, but Kate refused to allow herself to hope. It would destroy her. She saw where he was shot, and she knew why. These people behind her mother's murder, they had already proved just how willing they were to kill in order to keep their secret safe. And why should a best-selling author that knew too much be any different?

So, now, Kate was grabbing her coat and keys, preparing to do what she hated most about her job.

"Beckett, you don't have to do this. Send an officer." Ryan suggested as she turned to leave. She just looked at him, a sad smile on her lips.

"Ryan, if it were you who had been killed, would you want us sending an officer to tell Jenny?" She asked. He just looked away from her, nodding slowly. He understood. "See you guys tomorrow."

Kate hesitated as she stood outside the apartment door. This was it. This would change everything. She would no longer be Kate; she would be Detective Beckett, the one that came to tell them of Rick's death. And they would hate her for it. This place that had once seemed so welcoming was now a place full of painful memories.

She knocked on the wooden door, quick and firm. She is not here as a friend, she is here as a detective. She is not here as a friend, she is here as a detective. She is not here as a friend she is here as a detective. But then, the door opens, and Martha is smiling at here, and she doesn't know why she's here. She owes it to him, she understands that much. But would he want her to approach this in a professional or family-like manner?

"Kate, darling! How are you?" Martha is radiating joy and exuberance, and Kate knows that in a few minutes, she will have to crush that. "Where's Richard?"

"That's what I came here to talk to you about." She glances into the apartment, noticing Alexis, who is sitting on the couch, numerous textbooks scattered around her, watching them. "Is there a place where we could talk alone?" Martha looks somewhat taken aback at this request, a suspecting look gathering in her eyes.

"Yes, yes. Why don't we go into his office? I'm sure he won't mind." She gestures towards the office, the happiness gone, replaced by caution. Kate follows her into his office, just across the room, feeling Alexis's eyes trained on her, trying to understand what is going on. But Kate won't meet her eyes. She can't. If she does, she knows she will lose every bit of control she has managed to hold on to. And she can't let that control slip from her, not yet.

Martha closes the door to the office. They are alone. And now she must tell her.

"Have a seat, Kate." Kate listens, sitting down on the soft sofa that she spent many nights sitting on, working a case with Castle, brainstorming, or on occasion, just doing paperwork after he "made" (finding the phone book, then ordering from a Thai delivery service) dinner. "Is everything all right?"

"No, Martha. Castle... he..." She rests her face in her hands, needing a minute to gather her thoughts. "Rick was shot. Left chest."

"Is he alive? Where is he? What happened?" Martha demands, the panic in her voice rising.

"Martha, he... I-I don't know. We went into this empty warehouse for a case. We were wearing our vests, and I had him armed, just in case. I mean... the area can be rough, but it wasn't anything dangerous. Really, he was armed just for the look, so that if we ran into any trouble, people would leave him alone. But as soon as we walked in there, we were taken hostage, and forced to drop our weapons. Rick... he, he must have been working my mother's case these past couple months without telling me, because he had a file they didn't want anyone to know about. He told them I didn't know anything, and I told them I knew everything, but I was lying, and they knew. There was some deal protecting me, but not him, so they locked me in an office. There was a window, I tried to break it, I tried to get to him, but it wouldn't break!" Her voice slips, betraying her emotion. "They shot him. I was far away, and to his right, but I saw. I saw. I tried to get to him. I did. But I couldn't, and by the time backup came they were all gone. They left nothing behind except their handguns."

Martha is crying now, and Kate doesn't know what to do. She always knows how to handle the families of the victims, but this time... this time... she already knows them. This is completely different. And she has no idea what they want her to do.

"And Kate, in your experience, what are the chances..." Martha trails off, not wanting to say those final words. Because acknowledging that he may be alive means admitting that he might be dead.

"He hasn't been confirmed dead, but Martha..." Kate just looks at the woman, her face grim. And Martha understands. The older of the two sits up.

"I have to tell Alexis." She whispers. Her face is blank, emotionless. She turns to leave the study, and Kate follows. She must be there for this.

Alexis is waiting right outside the door. As soon as it opens, she demanding answers, trying to seem calm, but fear is etched into her voice.

"Gram, what's going on?"

"Alexis-" Martha tries to explain, but the young girl already knows.

"No... no!" She's backing away, trying to deny what she knows is true.

It's a classic example of the Kübler-Ross model, or more commonly known as the Five Stages of Grief. First is denial, second is anger, then comes compromising, next is depression, and finally, there's acceptance. That's pretty much all that Kate took away from her High School psychology class. That, and the abnormal psychology unit. The writer's daughter is following the model perfectly.

"But he-he was just here this morning! Everything was fine! There must be a misunderstanding!" Her tears are flowing fast a furious now, and her voice is weak and shattering apart. "You!" She whips around to face Kate, her voice venomous. "You were supposed to watch him! You were supposed to have his back! He trusted you!" She screams at Kate, lunging for her. Martha grabs Alexis from behind, holding her back.

"Alexis!"

"You were supposed to make sure nothing happened to him!" Her shout fades slowly, and then she turns, wrapping her arms around her grandmother, sobbing.

"I know." Kate choked out.

Yes, Alexis is definitely following the Five Stages of Greif model by the book. And she is right, too. Kate was supposed to make sure nothing happened to him. She failed Alexis. She failed Martha. She had failed Rick. Not wanting to break down now, right in front of his family when she was supposed to be the detective, the strong one, the one that knew what do, she pulled her card out of her pocket. They already had her phone number, but if she could just detach herself, make this seem like any old case, she might be able to make it out to her car.

"I'm going to leave my card here." She stated calmly. "You can call me if you remember something related to the case or if you just need to talk. Ryan and Esposito will stop by tomorrow for your statements."

Martha nods at her over Alexis's head, letting her know that she heard.

It's too much.

Kate can feel the pieces of the calm demeanor slipping, one by one. They're scattering behind her as she turns and runs towards the door. She steps into a hallway full of people and their camaras. The camaras are flashing, and they're all shouting her name.

Kate! Ms. Beckett! Kate! Kate! Beckett! Is it true! Kate! Do you have a comment? What happened! Kate? Beckett! Katherine! Is writer Richard Castle really dead? We heard he was killed in a warehouse? What's your comment! Kate? Nikki! Nikki Heat! How do you feel about you're creator's death? That's her breaking point.

"NO!" She screams at the reporters. "I am NOT Nikki. I am Katherine Beckett, and Richard Castle-" Her voice falters, and several tears escape. "Richard Castle was my partner. He was a real person with a family and friends! He died to save my life! He's not a way for you to make money in your damn tabloids! Get out of my way!" She charges through the crowd, knocking over cameras and reporters, pushing her way through. She presses the button for the elevator to open, but it's swarming with even more news anchors, and she can't stand the flashes in her face.

So she runs. She turns and pushes towards the window, throws it open, and starts running down the fire escape. She runs away from his family, away from reporters, and away from the memories.

Kate is ready to go to sleep. She's in a t-shirt and sweatpants, she's eaten dinner, she's brushed her teeth, and her alarm is set. But she can't go to sleep. That means closing her eyes. And every time she does, she relives it. Him admitting everything, them pulling her away, his vest being torn off, him meeting her eyes. The blood. The blood that exploded across his clean blue shirt, staining it bright red.

She wants to talk to him so much, to hear his laugh just one more time. God, she'd give anything. Why him? Why not her? She'd been ready to do it, ready to give up her life for him, but he had turned the tables. He'd made the choice.

She reaches over to her night stand, grabbing her phone. She unlocks the screen, and speed dials number four. He picks up.

"Hello?"

"Rick!" He's alive! She can't believe it! But she saw, she saw him...

"Hey!"

"Where are you? Castle, what's going on?" She cries into the phone. She's pissed now. It's just like him to pull this kind of joke on-

"Did ya fall for it? I bet you did. This is Richard Castle. Leave a message!" She'd forgotten about his damn voice mail. She fell for it every damn time. He was still gone, nothing had changed. It wasn't some sick prank of his, it was reality. She throws the phone as hard as she can at her book shelf. It hits a couple of books, knocking them to the floor. She doesn't move, just stares at the phone. After a few minutes, Kate rubs her face with her hands and walks over to it. She picks it up tenderly, and hits the 'end' button. But the book that the phone was sitting on captures her attention. It's her copy of Heat Wave. She opens the cover, tracing her hands over his signature, which rests on the page that holds the dedication.

To the Extraordinary KB, and all my friends at the 12th.

With a sad smile, she carries the book over to her favorite chair and starts to read.