Beyond the Willows

by Ashe Flyght

Geisha are like willows, veiled from the world, living in a different reality. Inoue Orihime though, was most certainly not born to become a geisha. But she will enter this mysterious world and endure all the betrayals and deceit to become Japan's most beautiful, all in hopes of getting closer to the man her heart longed for.

4. Shiragaku

Ashe's Rant Corner!

I am not dead yet my reader-tachi-sama! Though I might as well be with all the work I've been doing lately. First ( as always) I apologize for not updating for soooooooooooo looooooooooong. I am so sorry! But since I was gone for so long. . . I present to you a 12k words chapter! (I don't intend to but the chapters just keep getting longer and longer)

Anyway, before we start with the chapter, let me just advice you to go sit down because this is going to take some time to read. And what you're going to read might make you weak in the knees. Secondly, get yourself some tissue just in case because I'm telling you this is going to be one hell of an emotional ride.

Now, if you're all set and you have a roll of tissue with you. . . then without further ado. . . the fourth chapter of Beyond the Willows.

Enjoy my lovies~

白菊

(SHIRAGAKU)

WHITE CHRYSANTHEMUM

You cannot read loss,

Only feel it

There was a spot just beneath the bridge that allowed us to cross Karasu-gawa, Crow River; the river that ran through Karakura town, where I made lots and lots of memories.

You see, on days when we; Rukia-chan, Renji-kun, Ichigo-kun and myself just needed to get away from everyone else, this was the very place we fled to. There was no way anyone could ever miss that bridge for it was the only black one but for some reason, no one ever thought to look under the bridge.

The waters that flowed beneath this black bridge was always crystal clear. Even after a storm, when mud had eroded from the river banks, immediately, as if by magic, the waters would clear. And the bridge that hung over us, seemed to shield our little world from the busy life above us, sheltering what little peace we had there.

Today was one of those days when everybody just wanted to escape. Rukia-chan and I had a rough day at the Geisha school. While Rukia-chan was already able to read and write, she was still adjusting to Kanji words. Unfortunately, the calligraphy master was not a very patient man. As for me, I always had a difficult time with dance lessons. But unlike the calligraphy teacher, the old woman who taught us dances was less tolerant. Everything had to be perfect. And while I had no problem with coordination – my clumsiness was one of my biggest downfalls. To top it all off, Shutara-san was making sure she never failed to make my life a living hell.

Renji-kun and Ichigo-kun's day wasn't better than ours. Apparently, Renji-kun got caught stealing a man's wallet. The man thought it was too bothersome to hand Renji-kun to the police and so he took it into his own hands, evident in the bruises that were starting to turn purple on the red haired boy.

Ichigo-kun would not tell us why he had such an awful day. He just sat on rock and scowled at nothing in particular. I asked him again but he just turned away and muttered "Nothing". I wanted to tell him that it was alright to tell us, to open up to us but Rukia-chan clamped a hand on my shoulder and shook her head, "Orihime, let's let him be".

Something in the way Rukia-chan looked at Ichigo-kun gave me a feeling that she knew why. Like she understood just by looking at him. I felt a pang of jealousy hit me but quickly reprimanded myself. This was Rukia-chan, she had always been exceptionally perceptive of things. There was no reason for me to put deeper meaning into things. And so I shook my head at my silly thoughts.

To let off some steam, Renji-kun and Rukia-chan decided to do some kata exercises. Seeing them brought me back to the day they discovered their passion for kendo. On that very day, they helped me uncover a part of me that would be forever a part of me.

Remember the day we met Ichigo-kun, Renji-kun stole thee bokkens? Well Ichigo-kun decided to give them to us and have those four boys who beat us up deal with their master. And when he found out that Renji-kun was dying to learn kendo, he decided that it would not hurt to teach his friend the basics. Unbeknownst to us, Rukia-chan was just as interested in swords play as Renji-kun. Soon enough, she was standing next to Ichigo-kun, holding her own wooden sword up.

I too tried kendo but failed miserably.

It was sort of an anomaly how I was able to whack myself in the face while simultaneously hitting Ichigo-kun when we tried the most basic of exercises. And though Rukia-chan and Renji-kun found the whole thing incredibly hilarious, when the skin on my forehead where I had hit myself broke and drew a miniscule amount of blood, they decided that maybe kendo was not for me.

I felt so downhearted. Why could I not do what my friends were so naturally talented at? I couldn't explain the mixture of envy, embarrassment and frustration that was brewing inside my chest. It felt so heavy. But I couldn't just ruin Renji-kun and Rukia-chan's newfound passion. So I plopped myself on the soft grass, calmed myself and just watched them. And for the first time in my life, I felt so lonely despite my friends being just a few feet from me.

Ichigo-kun must have sensed my moroseness because he came over to where I sat and knelt in front on me. "It's alright if you're not good at kendo" he said, "It just means you're better at something else, something that only you are good at." I loved the way he was so encouraging without even trying to. I loved how just a few words and my soul felt like it was instantly revived.

"She's got a really good voice" Rukia-chan interjected, beads of sweat forming on her forehead from her exertion. I shot her a glare. My singing was supposed to be a secret! But she only shrugged "What? I've heard you sing lullabies to Senna when she's not feeling well"

I flushed at Rukia-chan's comment. I did not know that she bothered to listen. When Senna-chan came down with a cold one night, she began shivering and moaning for her mother. I felt it would ease her if I gave her my blanket and sang her to sleep. And so I checked if Rukia-chan if she minded my noise but it seemed that she was asleep. So I wholeheartedly believed that she was that's why I sang.

"What are you so embarrassed about?" Renji-kun laughed, "She said you're good! Let's hear it!"

I shrank even more. I did not think my voice was at all decent enough to be heard by anyone. My own mother did not approve of my voice, what more with other people? But then again, they weren't just 'other people', these were my beloved friends.

"I want to hear it" Ichigo-kun declared. A boyish, excited grin was plastered on his face as he moved to squat right in front of me. Rukia-chan and Renji-kun neared us too. All eyes were on me and I felt my hands quiver. I tried to open my mouth but my throat felt too dry and course.

Ichigo-kun bent his head a bit to catch my eye and when I looked up at him, there was only encouragement in his eyes. "Please" he offered me a coaxing smile.

I felt my breath hitch at the way he gazed at me. I could never fathom how he had such a calming effect on me. Slowly, I nodded. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to soothe my nerves and find the courage to sing in front of my friends. But as I was doing so, I heard the tinkling sounds of the river flowing. The sound of water. And the scenery of my hometown flashed in head - the peaceful echo of the waves that crashed onto the shore.

A particular song came into mind.

I do not know if the same goes for other places but in Fugai, there was this one song that I would hear from the people of my town. It was a folksong that had a very distinct sound to it that you might only find in our region. The first time I had heard it, I was entranced because I had never quite heard a song quite like it.

"Heart drifting on like the words of the wind"

I opened my eyes as I began to sing. I knew this song by heart. I could never forget it, just as I would never forget where I was from.

"Born from within, born form a dream

Voice carried on with the clouds in the sky

Brilliantly sound in harmony"

I learned the song from a young woman named Riku. She was from the other side of the village, from an affluent family. She liked to walk along the shore near our hut on days when the sun shone so bright its reflection glittered in the sea. She did not smile very much and she always had this sort of downcast look on her face but she had eyes that looked at my brother and I kindly. And she loved my brother with all her heart. Unfortunately, she was already betrothed to a rich man's son who she was to be wed him just a few weeks after she met us.

The song fit Onii-chan and Riku-san very much for theirs was like some ironic and tragic love story found only in books. My Onii-chan, who was Sora, the sky, and Riku, who was the earth, who fell madly in love with one another – could not even touch each other.

Moon's tender light through the dark gently weave

Calm like the night, cold like the sea

Stars slowly fall from the sky to my dreams

Tears over in loneliness"

It was as though I could smell the sea, feel the wind and see the horizon from the cliff where our rickety hut was. I remembered clear nights and bright stars shining as Riku-san sang this song. It was not just her voice that piqued my interest, it was the words to her song and how with just her voice, I could feel her longing. On that calm night, it seemed as though the townsfolks' lives paused for a moment, dropped what they were doing so that they could listen to her song.

I always wondered if I could do that someday too. Stop time with a song.

"Isn't it wonderful?

If we could walk together

Hand in hand, side by side

And I'd like to go

Back to your town

And to your home

Into your arms

I let the last words linger, softly fluttering with the wind. Oh how nostalgic! How I wish I could see Fugai again. While Karakura was a beautiful town, Fugai held a charm of its own. Peace that Karakura might never attain, considering how busy and fast paced life was here.

All of a sudden, the sound of clapping whisked me away from my reminiscing. I snapped my eyes open and straight to Ichigo-kun's grinning face. He was on his feet, telling me how beautiful my voice sounded.

I looked to Rukia-chan who was standing up and applauding me as well with all her might. "I told you she was good!" she proclaimed proudly and I couldn't help but giggle.

Renji-kun on the other hand was hooting loudly. "That was great!" he held two thumbs up at me, "With that voice, you'll definitely become famous one day." Hearing this, I felt my cheeks burn. It had never been my ambition to become famous. I knew I was not ordinary but to stand out and be known because I was actually good at something, it had not occurred to me . . . until now.

Ichigo-kun's hand landed on my shoulder and so I turned my attention to him, "See, it's something only you can do" he told me. His eyes speaking to me more than his voice. Admiration floating just beneath his chocolate irises. And my heart skipped a beat. Unknowingly, his words planted a seed of confidence in me that would blossom into something that would not be shaken.

"Because I'm sure if you asked Rukia to sing, you'll regret it the rest of your life" Ichigo-kun added teasingly and Renji-kun burst out laughing. In a flash, Rukia-chan's geta came flying towards us, smacking Ichigo-kun square in the face.

I felt bad for him but that did not mean I did not find it funny. I covered my mouth to hide my giggles but Rukia-chan and Renji-kun did not even bother, they guffawed, rolling around in the grass at the hilarity that ensued.

I smiled tenderly at the thought. I am so fortunate to have my dear friends with me, encouraging me and feeding me with confidence.

And then there was Ichigo-kun.

Ichigo-kun who helped me find myself.

"Orihime" I heard Ichigo-kun call out to me and I was immediately brought back to the present. I turned to look over my shoulder. He was still sitting on the rock. I was sure he said my name but he did not look at me, he simply stared off into space.

"Yes Ichigo-kun?"

When I confirmed that I did in fact hear him, he finally turned to me, "Why is it that we don't know much about you?" he asked.

I was taken aback. What did he mean they didn't know much about me? I glanced at Renji-kun who was sitting idly by the banks, letting the wind cool his naked torso. Rukia-chan stood up at Ichigo-kun's words, her face contorted with indignation, ready to mouth off. Though I had never really confessed to her how my parents battered us, I had told her that they were nowhere near nurturing but she already caught the picture.

"I mean," Ichigo-kun immediately supplemented, "It's not that you don't talk, because you do – a lot" and Renji-kun snickered at that, "but you never talk about yourself. We know where you're from and how old you are but what about your family? What was life like where you come from?"

Tense silence enveloped us for a long time. Renji-kun and Rukia-chan had their head down trying to look away from the awkward moment. Ichigo-kun on the other hand, stared at me half probingly and half in concern. I knew he hadn't meant anything offensive from his inquiry and it was true that they practically knew nothing of where I came from. Ichigo-kun was always telling us stories about his family and that he would introduce us to them when they come for a visit. Renji-kun had opened up to us about his parents as well and how he longed to see his little brother. Disturbingly, Rukia-chan had told us in a nonchalant manner that she had no family and that it had not bothered her since she never knew them anyway. Leaving me to be the mysterious one amongst us four.

"Be-" I stammered.

I had not even mentioned my brother to them. I did not think they needed to know that my father beat us. Or that he sold us here without as much as a thought. I could not tell them that I had gone to my mother and she turned me away, going as far as to sell me into the very brothel she worked in. I could not bring myself to because all this time, I had been trying to bury it away. Never think about it to numb away the pain of my parents' rejection and neglect as though it never happened. Keep my mind off Onii-chan until I find him, so that being away from him would not hurt so much.

"I couldn't – didn't. . . because" I struggled to say. I could feel the tears stinging my eyes. And suddenly, my tongue had become thick and saliva seemed to be blocking my throat. It hurt to say it. But it hurt even more to keep it all to myself.

"O-Oi" Ichigo-kun bolted from his rock and sprang straight up. Alarmed that he made me cry.

"Because I was afraid I couldn't stop myself from crying if I told you about Onii-chan" I blurt out, tears escaping with my wail.

The two boys were stunned – frightened even. You see, crying little girls always scare boys. They do not know what to do with them and even as time changes them into men, dealing with tears would still be a predicament for them. Luckily, Rukia-chan was instantly at my side when I burst into tears, rubbing my back comfortingly as I choked and brawled.

I must have looked horrible and pitiful. But still crying it all out after having bottled the feelings up for a whole year felt liberating. It was as though a weight had been lifted off of my shoulders and I could breathe again. And when I had finally calmed down, I told them all about Onii-chan and my grandpa. I told them about what it was like to live next to the sea, the flowers that bloomed there and all the strange things that washed ashore. However, I left my parents' out of my stories. I only told them that my father was a sailor, who never came back after a voyage and that I had never met my mother.

Renji-kun seemed to have caught on to something with the way Rukia-chan stared at me. But I simply smiled at them weakly, reassuring them.

Ichigo-kun on the other hand had been too quiet. His brows were knit together in concentration, mulling over my narration. He glanced at me once and I saw something akin to suspicion. It felt like he knew I wasn't telling him something but whatever attempts of probing he had in mind, he just waved off and returned his attention to me.

That night, I felt incredibly guilty for lying to them. I sighed for the nth time and turned to face Rukia-chan, only to find her still awake and already staring back at me. I shrieked at the intense way her violet eyes were boring at me. "R-Rukia-chan?"

"It's your choice" she started cryptically, "It's okay it you don't want to tell us but I just want you to know that we won't judge you" Her stoic expression faltered and she took my hand, smiling at me tenderly as she continued. "I don't know what exactly happened to you but every time you talk about your parents, I can see the fear and hurt in your eyes – because, Orihime, your eyes always give it away"

Onii-chan had always said that my eyes were very expressive but I didn't know that they were to the point of divulging. I tittered at her comments. "But whatever they did you, Orihime. We don't pity you because I know that's the least thing you want from us. Instead we respect you all the more because you're still cheerful despite all the bad things that happened to you" said Rukia.

I felt my heart swell at her words and I clutched her hand tighter. Rukia-chan smiled at me, the small genuine smile she only showed to me, Renji-kun and Ichigo-kun. "My eyes don't really give everything away, does it?" I asked shyly.

A big broad grin crept onto my friend's face and I knew that look. "Oh it does" she nodded, "Gives away that you like Ichigo" she said slyly, wagging her eyebrows at me.

My face instantly flared at the suggestion. I drew my blanket over my head and buried my burning face onto my futon. "Oh c'mon!" Rukia-chan sighed exasperatedly, "You like him! It is so obvious that even a dolt like Renji knows it." I did not think my face could feel even warmer but it did.

"Is it that obvious?" my voice was muffled by my blanket. I did not deny that I had feelings for Ichigo-kun, and even if I lied about it, Rukia-chan would just see through me.

"Yes it is!" she announced.

Suddenly, I felt the blanket being yanked away from me forcefully. "Would you get out of there!" Rukia-chan demanded as she pulled the blanket away. My instincts kicked in and I grabbed the sheet back to cover me and we played tug of war for a while. I could not face Rukia-chan, the thought of my growing affections for Ichigo-kun being so blatantly palpable made me want the floor beneath me to just swallow me whole. "Don't talk to me through your blanket Orihime" she growled through her gritted teeth, her whole effort put on bringing me out of my cocoon.

Now, Rukia-chan may be small and thin but she was definitely stronger than I. In less than a minute, she had successfully pried the blanket away from me. She stood over me triumphantly and said "There's no need to hide! I won't tell him"

With those words, I shot up and gaped at her. "You wouldn't?" I asked, dumbfounded.

Rukia-chan snorted and fell back on the futon with a thump. "'Course not" she grinned. "Your feelings are yours and not mine to share with the whole hanamachi" she laughed.

I felt a smile tug on my lips. That was just like Rukia-chan; trustworthy and undoubtedly loyal. "I trust you, Rukia-chan" I told her sincerely, "with my whole life"

She rolled over to me and flashed me a toothy grin. "And I trust you! You are my family after all" she blurted out. When she realized the words that slipped out, she bit her lip and her brows furrowed. Talking about family always made Rukia-chan uncomfortable. She liked to show us that her lack of familial relations did not bother her whatsoever but I knew deep inside that that was not really the case.

"You are my family too" I said softly. She threw a hesitant glance at me, her cheeks glowing pink as I smiled at her. "And when I find Onii-chan, you'll have an Onii-chan too."

"Onii-chan?"

I nodded vigorously, "Because we are sisters Rukia-chan"

"Geisha sisters" she corrected me with a stern countenance.

I shook my head and giggled. "More than Geisha sisters, Rukia-chan" I professed, "We are sisters"

This time, she turned to me fully. I could not paint her expression. There were so many emotions flashing behind lavender eyes. She opened her mouth to speak but there no sound was emitted. She gulped and paused, maybe trying to find the words to say. Then finally closed her eyes, as if savoring what she was about to say.

"We are sisters"

~.~.~.~.~

"O-RI-HI-ME!"

I was currently hunched over a large basin, washing the older Onee-sans' kimono and undergarments. I sharply turned my head to where the sound was coming from and I heard my neck creak from the abruptness of my actions. "Ow" I whimpered, rubbing the left side of my neck.

I was quite sure that it was Ichigo-kun's voice I heard but it was only seven in the morning and we were not due to meet until three in the afternoon. Besides, it way too early for him to be shouting in front of the Okiya. Our geisha were still sleeping and if he woke them from their slumber, especially Shutara-san, all hell would break loose.

As I was opening the main gate of the Okiya, I found Ichigo-kun waving at me frantically. Egging me to hurry up.

I was shocked. Ichigo-kun was never one to be jumpy and get hyper about something - that was Renji-kun's job as well as my own. And to make matters stranger, he and Renji-kun had been disappearing off to somewhere for the past weeks and neither I nor Rukia-chan had any idea as to where they went. So I really was puzzled to see him here now.

"C'mon Orihime" he grabbed my hand impatiently, dragging me away from the Okiya.

"Slow down Ichigo-kun!" I whined when I stumbled over my own feet, "I still have chores. Where are you taking me?"

But he didn't reply, he just grinned over his shoulder, that boyish aura enveloping him. "It's a surprise" he said before he ran faster, leaving me confused with no choice but to follow him.

We arrived at the main street of Karakura where Ichigo-kun's butler, Chojiro-san, was waiting for us with a carriage. I bowed at him in greeting and he bent his head slightly in acknowledgement. With an expressionless face, he opened the carriage door for me. "But – " I started but Ichigo-kun lightly shoved me in. "Oh just get in" he complained.

I don't know how far exactly we went, all that I knew was that we arrived in a place that was no longer in Karakura but in a place where the whole district looked like a market. I would come to find out that this was Seireitei, the central business district. If Karakura had been all hustle and bustle, geisha sauntering about - Seireitei was a whole lot busier. There were more people and quite amazingly, more men in Western suits. I would have gawked at all the people and every little knickknack sold in that district if Ichigo-kun had not tugged on my arm, telling me to move.

I looked towards my friend. It really is a rare sight to see him extremely excited about something. His eagerness seemed to be affecting me because soon, my nerves were jumpy too. I could not help but feel enliven by this 'surprise' Ichigo-kun had for me.

We swept past the market, passing the temple. When I stopped to catch my breath, I realized that we were now in the middle of a meadow. I quirked a brow at Ichigo-kun. He . . . He wanted me to see the meadows of another district? "Ichigo-kun" I started confusedly but before I could even begin to inquire as to what was so special about grass, he moved behind me and covered my eyes. "Wha-!"

"You can't peek, okay!" he commanded and I nodded. Gently, he nudged me forward, guiding me to where I should go. It probably wasn't that far but to when you couldn't see where you're going, the path felt long.

I felt the grass beneath my feet brush my ankles and I could hear the faint tinkling of water. Slowly, we stopped. "Are you ready?" Ichigo-kun asked.

"Ha-hai"

As he lifted his hands from my eyes, my vision blurred, adjusting to the sudden brightness. I could make out the form of Renji-kun and Rukia-chan but there was someone behind them. Just as soon as my eyes cleared, tears made my vision hazy again. I hiccupped and wetness rolled down my cheeks uncontrollably.

"O-Onii-chan" I croaked.

Faster than a heartbeat, I ran towards him and flung myself at him. He fell to his knees when he caught me in his arms and I clung to him like my life depended on him because it did. The familiar feeling of my brother's arms around me made me snivel harder. Onii-chan's assuring presence and the security that it offered made all the hardships that I had been through washed away.

"Orihme" Onii-chan breathed shakily, his teardrops on my hair. He caressed my hair, "Orihime" he said again as though to guarantee that I was really there, that this was all really happening.

I buried my face in his chest, taking in the scent that was my Onii-chan's. He didn't smell like the sea anymore and yet his smell still reminded me of home. Maybe because it was not that Onii-chan smelled like home – home smelled like Onii-chan.

After composing ourselves, Onii-chan pulled back to look at my face. Just the sight of my brother's kind brown eyes had me in tears again. He smiled at me despite his crying and I realized that that was the first time I saw him cry. "You've grown" he said with a small laugh. I nodded. He had grown as well. He looked more like a man now than when we were in Fugai, like he was stronger but lingering beneath his gentle smile, I could feel the sadness and hardships he'd been through.

"I missed you Onii-chan" I said, offering him one of my smiles.

"And I you"

I turned to my friends who were silently watching our tearful reunion. How were they able to find Onii-chan when he was a district away from me? How ever did they manage? I moved from Onii-chan's arms and walked tentatively to where they stood. Without warning, I wrapped my arms around them, pulling them close to me as much as I could possibly get them to. "Thank you" I sniffed, "Thank you so so much!"

"It's nothing" came Ichigo-kun's soft reply and he touched my head tenderly. I embraced my friends a little more, sending Kami-sama my prayer of thanks for blessing me with these wonderful people. I was so grateful because despite all the suffering, I had them and I will always have them.

"Okay okay" Renji-kun's voice interrupted our moment. "I'm fine with hugging Orihime and Rukia but I am definitely not okay with cuddling with you" he pushed Ichigo-kun aside.

"Well I don't like being near the likes of you too"

I introduced my friends to Onii-chan but it seemed I did not need to do so. Onii-chan and Ichigo-kun talked as though they've been friends with each other for a long time. And my brother seemed to be used to Rukia-chan and Renji-kun's constant banters.

That must have been one of the happiest days in my life.

Apparently, Onii-chan was a rickshaw puller. No wonder he seemed to have gained muscles in the years that we were apart. Compared to my duties in the Okiya, his life was a lot more difficult. And at the thought of my brother in pain from pulling carts around and taking people places, my heart clenched. I hugged him again, hoping that it might somehow alleviate his sore muscles. Onii-chan promised me that he would come see me every chance he could get and that when he had enough money, he would come get me from the Okiya.

Though it was hard to part with him yet again, I did. But this time, with the promise that we would someday be together again.

On our way back, I asked Ichigo-kun how he found Onii-chan. "I had a little help from my Dad" he replied. "Renji and I talked to every Sora-san we could find. We went around asking, 'Do you know the weaver princess?'" he explained. "Most thought we were just a bunch of brats playing a prank on them. And then we found a rickshaw puller who said 'Yes she is my sister' and that's when we knew" he laughed.

Now, looking back at what Ichigo-kun did, it was probably the most ridiculous yet ingenious manner of searching for my brother. I laughed at his incredible story. Then, abruptly, I wrapped my arms around him, "Thank you" I whispered to him.

Ichigo-kun went rigid in my arms but slowly he relaxed and I felt his arms encircle my waist. He leaned his head on mine and said "Anything for you"

It has been years since that happened, but I would always remember it so vividly as though it was only yesterday. I would forever remember it because in that moment, I knew in my heart that no matter what happened, things would get better.

Because Rukia-chan was there.

Renji-kun was there.

And then there was Ichigo-kun.

Ichigo-kun who completed me.

~.~.~.~.~

It was in the year I turned twelve that things started to change in my life. Not only was it the year puberty hit and I started to bleed but it was the time, the people around me started to change for the best and for the worst.

It was in time of the year when we all reveled at the pureness of the freshly fallen snow. Somehow seeing the snowflakes drop to the ground and the bone chilling wind blow through us gave me an uneasy foreboding.

I had just returned from the market when I saw a lavish looking carriage in front of the Okiya. I could count the number of people in the district who owned a carriage. There were only five, Ichigo-kun being one of them. But I have never seen this black carriage anywhere. Knowing this only fired my burning curiosity.

Being a servant girl, I was not allowed to pass through the main gate unless I was going to or coming home from school. When we came from errands, we had to use the back door. I hurriedly dumped the pack of fish on the counter and rushed towards the main hall of the Okiya. All the other girls were there, peeking through their respective holes in the rice paper door.

"What's going on?" I inquired, moving to my respective hole, "Where is Rukia-chan?"

But no one answered me because they did not have to. As I peeked into the hole, I saw Mother's back and Rukia-chan standing in the middle of Mother's office. There were three other people with them, an old man, and old woman and a man; all dressed in formal kimono, a crest on the men's obi.

This only meant one thing.

Aristocrats

Rukia-chan was facing the three people. The old man, sat on the floor, calmly sipping on his tea. He reminded me of my grandpa, with the way his eyes wrinkled as he smiled kindly at Rukia-chan. The old woman, was on her feet, scrutinizing Rukia-chan. She turned my friend's head left and right, checked her hair, her face, her limbs. With the way she was inspecting Rukia-chan, she was out doing Mother by a ton.

"What a scraggy looking child!" the old woman complained, "Do you not feed the girls here?"

Mother's form tensed and from her body language, I knew she was getting irritated. "If you must know, we feed our girls here three full meals a day" she retorted.

The old woman raised a brow at Mother in admonishment, her cold eyes looking down at Mother. I was taken aback. I had never seen anyone treat Mother as such. This was Mother we're talking about. She was the head of our household. But clearly, that meant nothing to this noblewoman.

Sharply, she turned to Rukia-chan. "How old are you child?" she asked in a harsh tone.

"Fourteen"

"Fourteen?" she repeated incredulously, "Why, you look like you're ten! You are malnourished!" she raged. She spun towards Mother, her face contorted in disgust. "What kind of establishment is this? Why do you over work these children?" fumed.

Clearly, Mother had had enough of this and so she banged a fist on her table. "I'll have you know, no one is over worked here. This is an Okiya, not an orphanage. The girls here were sold to work and earn money not sit around and waste the day" Mother snapped.

The old woman gasped, appalled by the head of our household's words. "You despicable woman!" she hissed.

I felt bad for Mother. Sure, she was strict and often cared more about the money of the Okiya than the girls living there but she was doing the best she can for us. She may not be very motherly despite her being our 'Mother' but we still owed our lives to her. We could be sleeping in the streets or worse sold into a brothel, if not for her. And so she did not deserve to be called such.

"Enough" came a monotonous baritone voice. The man sitting beside the old man had finally spoken. He lifted his eyes to Mother and I was shocked by what I saw.

Cold, dull gray eyes that regarded Mother, Rukia-chan and everything else indifferently. I let my eyes scan his features, pale skin, long sleek ebony hair, thin lips in a tight line and a tall nose. I have never met a man as beautiful as him. He had an air of authority and regality emanating from him that made me impossibly aware of my status as this Okiya's servant girl.

"It no longer matters what she made the girl do" his voice cut through the tense like steel. "What is important is that we can get her now" he stated.

Warning bells sounded in my head. They were taking Rukia-chan? But why? Panic struck me and I felt ice travel through my veins. "Momo onee-chan" I cried, "Why is Okaa-san selling Rukia-chan?" I asked distraughtly.

"Those are members of the Kuchiki clan" she explained in her soft voice, "They are here to take Rukia-chan because they're going to adopt her"

"Yes this is more than enough" Mother's callous voice made me avert my attention back to the people inside. "She is all yours now" she declared and I swear I heard myself whimper.

The dark haired man deliberately stood up and approached Rukia-chan. "What is your name?" he inquired in his monotonous and void tone.

"Rukia"

His impassive eyes searched my friend's face and I dreaded what they might do to her for answering them with a rude undertone but he did nothing and simply turned on his heel, "Well then Rukia, come" he ordered.

My petite friend stood glued to her spot in the middle of the room. The idea of her finally having a family must have rattled her. I could tell because I could see her fingers trembling. "Go on Rukia" Mother urged and only did Rukia-chan lift her head. She drew in a large breath, flexed her hand and then she turned to Mother.

"Thank you for all that you did for me" she bowed in a formal way that was so unlike her. Then without second glances, she turned to follow the beautiful man.

Instinct kicked in me and I bolted up, dashing through the hallways to catch up to Rukia-chan. How can she leave without saying goodbye to me? How can she be so cruel? I thought as I mindlessly rushed out the Okiya. I did not even bother to put on my geta. When I caught up with Rukia-chan, I grabbed her hand and forced her to look at me.

"Y-you can't leave" I cried, my lips trembling. "You can't-" I couldn't finish my sentence because I was choking on my tears.

Through my hazy gaze, I saw the man who was to adopt Rukia-chan regard me with cold eyes. He took in my face, his expression set like stone. "I will give you two minutes" he said before entering his carriage.

I heard Rukia-chan sigh and she gripped my hands. "I'm not really leaving" she said softly, "I'll visit whenever I can"

I scrunched my face in frustration. I was happy for her for she would finally be part of a family, something she never had yet at the same time, I was upset because I did not want her to be away from me. I had just been reunited with my brother, now I was to be separated from my sister.

As though reading my mind, Rukia-chan touched my head affectionately. "I'll be back Orihime" she smiled, a rare sight, "After all, they can't keep me away from my real family"

And so, with a heavy heart and a tear stained face, I let her go.

~.~.~.~.~.

Days later, I found myself underneath the black bridge with Renji-kun. We had our feet dangling in the cool water of the river as we just sat there, mulling over recent happenings.

I glanced at the red haired boy beside me, uncharacteristically silent. He took the news of Rukia-chan's departure better than I thought but somehow that bothered me even more. I was expecting him to lash out and follow her to where ever they were taking Rukia-chan. But when I told him, he just froze up, forced a smile and said "That's good". And then he just walked past me.

He's been quiet for a few days now and when he noticed my growing concern for him, he just shrugged it off and grinned at me as he told me the interesting things that happened to him. I sighed as I looked up at him one more time. Our paths were starting to diverge from each other and there was nothing I could do but accept it.

Renji-kun had changed, though he was still the same mischievous person I knew, somehow while I wasn't looking, he had matured into someone who was no longer satisfied with being a pickpocket. Just last year, he started working for the old vegetable vendor, carrying sacks of potatoes and baskets of produce to earn his keep. The same went for Ichigo-kun, just two years had passed and he had morphed into someone who took his responsibilities more seriously. He met with us less and obeyed his shishou and Chojiro-san more. He was still protective of us and would try his best to squeeze in time to spend with us but the calling of his bloodline was slowly carrying him away from us.

I dropped my gaze to the water. The sound of flowing water a little too loud for me now that there was only Renji-kun and myself here. Somehow, the very sound made me feel even lonelier.

"Orihime" Renji-kun spoke and I perked up, thankful to hear his voice, "You know that Rukia is okay there, right?" he said.

My brows furrowed at him. No, I did not know. I had no way of even finding out! I wanted to say but I just nodded. "She'll be fine there. Because she's a strong girl even though she's a midget" he laughed a little but his voice broke and I suddenly understood.

He wasn't telling me to assure me, he was doing it to convince himself. He was asking me - in his silent and uncertain way – to tell him that Rukia-chan was okay. That she's better off where she was now.

Hesitantly, I touched his arm and when he did not react I wrapped my arm around his. "She's okay" I told him, "I can feel it." He looked at me and for the first time I saw how vulnerable he was, because the only person who truly understood him and was by him through tough times had been taken away from him. My heart went out to my dear friend but all I could do was squeeze his arm in reassurance. "Like you said she's a tough girl" I forced out a laugh.

"And weird" he chuckled, "but that's what makes Rukia, Rukia." I felt him relax a bit but I could still feel the desolation lurking within him.

I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. I remembered the first time I came to Karakura. How I felt so utterly lost, without anyone I knew. Renji-kun must be feeling the same thing. I thought. "Ne, Renji-kun" I called out to him and he responded with a gruff "hmm?", "I won't leave" I said.

I felt his head turn towards me and when I looked up, his eyes were wide, like he did not understand what I was saying. "I won't leave" I repeated, "just remember that"

He stared at me for a full second then a small smile ghosted over his lips and he laid his head on top of mine. "I won't either" he promised

Little did we know that our little pledge to each other would be broken in the worst way possible.

~.~.~.~.~

Three months later, Renji-kun barged into the Okiya's backdoor. He startled me so much that I had dropped the meat that I had just bought from the market. "Renj-" I began but faltered half way when I took a good look at him.

He was dressed in an ash gray gi with black hakama – the same uniform that the students from Ichigo-kun's dojo wore. There was no trace of grime on his skin and he had a pair of new looking waraji, straw sandals,on his feet. Quickly, I picked the meat up and I neared Renji-kun.

"Looks good on me, right?" he beamed at me, even posing for me.

"Wha- where did you get this?"

A mighty frown replaced Renji-kun's grin, "How rude" he griped, "Shunsui jii gave it to me"

I did not understand. I did not know any 'Shunsui-san' but Renji-kun seemed to have caught on immediately because he said "Shunsui jii is one of the masters in Zangetsu Dojo. I fought with Ichigo yesterday and he saw me, he said I had potential. He's going to take me in Orihime! I can study Kendo now"

Yet again, I dropped the poor meat and clamped my hands over my mouth. I bit my lips in excitement for him. He would finally have the life he deserved to have. He'll have a decent roof on his head, someone was going to take care of him now and he would be able to do the thing he loved the most. I was so happy for him.

I threw my arms around him and gave him a bear hug. "Congratulations Renji-kun" I exclaimed. I knew he did not like touchy displays of affection but I did not care for that now. All that mattered to me was that my friend would be out of the streets - out of danger.

"Yeah" he replied so softly that I was not sure I actually heard him, "I can be someone now" he added, this time, returning my embrace.

~.~.~.~.~

My life had suddenly become dull and routinized. I no longer snuck out of the Okiya at 3 o'clock in the afternoon because I no longer had anyone to meet with. Ichigo-kun and Renji-kun were busy in the dojo. More so for Renji-kun because he had to catch up with the other students there. Ichigo-kun no longer had the time because he had been travelling to Tokyo and Kyoto back and forth. I have yet to ask him why though.

Things were changing so rapidly. And for someone who was supposed to have so much water in her – water which is the element of change, I could not cope.

Once every month, Onii-chan would come to Karakura to visit me. And it was that one day that I looked forward to. The assurance that I would get to see my brother was what kept me going.

But fate would change that.

She never was very kind to me.

On a rainy night when the clouds descended from the sky to cover the earth, my brother came to the Okiya. I was waiting for Shutara-san to arrive when he rapped on the gate frantically. "Orihime!" he called out to me urgently, "we must hurry!"

"What are you doing here Onii-chan?" I asked in a hushed tone. He was soaked from the rain and visibly shivering. I would let him in but if Mother found out that my brother was here, she would send him away. I did not want that. "You can't be here!" I said through my teeth.

"We're leaving Orihime" he smiled despite the chattering of his teeth, "I finally have enough to get us home"

It did not think twice before I took my Onii-chan's hand and ran with him into the rain. I did not look back at the Okiya to see if someone had seen me. I simply took the chance because the last time that he asked me to leave with him, I refused and look where it got us.

As we ran through the many streets of Karakura, I thought about Ichigo-kun, Renji-kun, Rukia-chan and Senna-chan. I did not even get to say goodbye. I may never see them again and the thought saddened me greatly. But if I did not take this chance, I might never be able to go home – back to Fugai where I truly belong. We would think about the consequences later.

I would regret things later.

I had thanked the gods for the fog that seemed to cover us in our escape. The paths were clear because no one in their right minds wanted to be out in this downpour – no one except maybe two siblings trying to go home. I had lost my geta while we ran but it did not matter, the only thing that mattered was that I was now free. The rain made my vision hazy and I could barely see anything up ahead. I only let Onii-chan guide me.

But it seemed that this foggy coverage was what would take away the most precious person to me.

I do not remember what happened exactly. It was all too fast. We were running blindly to the train station that would take us back to Fugai but when we reached the bridge to the entrance of Karakura town, something hit us. My hand slipped from my brother's hold and I felt my body roll down the rocky slope of a cliff. Hot liquid trickled from my head and I was sure from the thickness of it that it was not rain. My sides hurt and I felt as though I would vomit. My vision blurred and the last thing I saw before everything turned black, was my brother lying beside me, unmoving.

~.~.~.~.~

When I awoke, a week had already passed. My body ached all over and I could not move my right arm. I blinked to clear my vision and a familiar tobacco stained ceiling greeted me. It did not take a genius to know where I was – back in the Okiya.

I groaned as I tried to sit up. I felt all my muscles protest from my movements. Everything hurt.

"Orihime-chan!" Senna-chan cried as she rushed to help me up. As I sat up, I felt my world swirl and my head throb in pain. I reached up to clutch my forehead and my fingers touched a patch of gauze on the upper right side of my head. I winced. "Don't move too much yet" Senna-chan reprimanded.

Just then, the door slid open to reveal Ikumi-san's fuming form. She glared down at me and shouted, "How could you!" and I could not help but flinch at her words. In a blink of an eye, she was kneeling in front of me, grabbing my face to force me to look at her. "You foolish, foolish girl!" she shook me, " What were you thinking?" she demanded and I could not provide her with an answer.

As I looked into her dark gray eyes, I saw relief in the midst of her ire but dejection mingled with it. "What have you done? Now I can't help you" her voice was soft and whisper like, but her words were sharp and harsh. She let go of my face and motioned for Senna-chan to give her something.

She dropped a small wooden box on my lap. I looked up questioningly at Ikumi-san, silently asking her what it was. "Open it" came her cold response.

Tentatively, my hands skimmed the rough surface and as I lifted the lid, I trembled.

井上昊

Inoue Sora engraved on a mortuary tablet.

Suddenly, breathing became very difficult for me. Something broke in me. I whimpered as I touched my brother's name on the Ihai with quivering hands. No. No. No! This can't be happening. This could not be true! Tears had been streaming down my face from the moment I saw the tablet.

Back in Fugai, the elderly had a saying that 'loss cannot be read – only felt' and that was exactly what I was feeling. I cannot tell you exactly how much I was grieving because no words could describe how empty I felt. How numb. I have lost my brother, I have lost a piece of my heart. And somewhere in the recess of my mind, I questioned why I even lived. Why I could not have just died along with my brother.

"You have dishonored this Okiya!" Mother's booming voice echoed, interrupting the silence that permeated the room. Through tear-blurred eyes, I saw her standing by the doorway, her nose flaring with rage. "By running away you have ruined my reputation! Now the people think the girls here run away because I am abusive! It is all your fault!" she shouted.

I have never seen Mother so furious. Even when she was so mad at Rukia-chan, she never raised her voice or looked at her with as much resentment as she was doing with me.

"You've piled up quite a debt, girl" she said in calmer tone as she blew smoke into the air, "Your schooling, all the vases in the Ochaya that you broke, the kimono that you ruined, your meals and the seventy five yen that I bought you with".

If there was one thing Mother was good at aside from judging beauty, it would be money and accounting. Every little thing in her life revolved around money. "I suppose you could have paid me back once you've become a geisha but who would ever invest in a useless girl like you" she spat bitterly before walking away. But as she was leaving, she stopped mid step and without turning she added "I will be adding the money that your brother stole from his employer to your long list of debts" and then, she was gone.

I knew what she was implying, she did not have to say anything outright because I understood. I would never be a geisha now. I was a disgrace and therefore, no longer worthy of being a geisha. I would repay her by being of service to this Okiya as a maid.

But at that time, I did not care. Even if I were still allowed to continue studying to become a geisha, what was the point of it all if my brother would not be able to see me? Why become someone successful when you had nothing to live for anyway?

I had no one. I've lost the one person who truly loved me and it was all my fault.

And as I stared into space in the Okiya's spare room, tears racking my body, heart aching, only one thought ran through my mind.

What have I done?

~.~.~.~.~

Apparently, the man who had hit us with his carriage paid for my medical expenses and for Onii-chan's burial. Once I was well enough to walk around, Ikumi-san took me to where my brother had been buried. In the midst of the public cemetery, Onii-chan's tombstone sat in the very middle. I could no longer cry as I stared at my brother's name. I could no longer feel anything.

"Don't ever forget him" Ikumi-san clamped a hand on my shoulder, "He is the only reminder of who you really are"

~.~.~.~.~

They were not kidding when they said that time stops for no one. Before I knew it, three years had already passed. I was no longer a child but a young woman of fifteen. By this time, I could have been an apprentice geisha, serving tea to patrons or dancing in the spring festival. But that part of my life had been buried along with my brother. I had forgotten how to bow properly, play the shamisen or even dance. I was now more accustomed to opening doors, serving meals and scrubbing floors clean.

Senna-chan had long moved out of the attic. Since she was now a maiko, she could sleep in a room with Momo onee-chan and the other geisha-in-training. I was the only one sleeping in the attic now. Surprisingly, Shutara-san took her in as her 'little sister'. I always thought that Shutara-san chose Senna-chan as her apprentice because Senna-chan was afraid of her and would do everything that Shutara-san asked of her without complaints. But then again, my opinion on that matter (or for any matter) was of no significance. I am just a maid after all.

Being the Okiya's maid was no different from when I was training to be a geisha. The only difference was that I had more chores now and that I was not spared any idle moment. I was no longer allowed to enter the geisha school not unless I was asked to do errands there. I was not allowed to touch things unless I was to clean them. But I was used to it now. I have learned to accept my fate.

It was only today that I was actually given the time to rest. Ikumi-san had gone to see her son. Mother was at the theater with Shutara-san and I was not needed in the Ochaya. And so I fled to the one place that once brought me peace – beneath the black bridge.

As usual, the place was tranquil, shielded from all the turmoil of the world above. Back then, the sound of the flowing water calmed my heart, but now it could not. I stared at my reflection in the river. My face had morphed from a round little girl's to that of a heart shaped woman's. I had grown out of my old robes and suddenly, Ikumi-san had to look for her old yukata for me to use. I had long grown out of my prepubescent body. I had the body of a woman now.

Sometimes, when I catch myself in mirrors, I still jump in surprise. To me, I look quite awkward, gawky and quite frankly just someone so out of place.

"I knew I'd find you here"

I did not need to turn around to see who it was. I knew his voice by heart.

Ichigo-kun

He sat beside me and I beamed at him. "Good afternoon, Ichigo-kun" I greeted. He turned his head slightly towards me and smiled. That meant 'Good afternoon to you too'.

Just as I have changed drastically, so did Ichigo-kun. He was a man now. He had grown a head and a half tall and I reached only until his chest. His face was now angled and chiseled into manly perfection. His shoulders were so broad now, years of kendo training honing his lean and strong body.

He was even more handsome now. I thought bashfully.

He was brasher and was even more stubborn than ever. But he was still the same Ichigo-kun. The same brave boy who covered me from the bullies when I was eleven. The same Ichigo-kun who saved me from myself three years ago.

"I knew I'd find you here"

He had said the same thing to me then.

It was two months after Onii-chan died, a time when I felt like dying- when I felt dead. I had escaped from the Okiya again and though I knew I would get punished for it, I kept leaving.

I sat in front of my brother's tombstone. I had been there for hours, staring at his name. I had long stopped crying. I didn't have any tears left in me anyway. I felt so empty. After all, a part of my heart had died along with my brother.

I had not talked to anyone. I had nothing to say to anyone. I barely ate. What was the point of eating when everything tasted the same – bland and flat.

And then he came.

"I knew I'd find you here"

I did not even recognize his voice. It was either it had been so long since I last saw him that I had forgotten the sound of his voice or in the span of that two months, his voice had deepened so much.

I only looked over my shoulder to see who it was and when I saw orange hair I averted my gaze right back to the tombstone. I did not want Ichigo-kun to see me like this. And so I thought that if I ignored him, he would leave me be – like everyone else.

But he sat himself beside me and placed a single white chrysanthemum in front of my brother's grave. He then clasped his hands together in a brief prayer.

When he was done, he turned to me and frowned. "Senna said you haven't been eating" he said in a reprimanding tone. "She said you haven't said a word either" he added and I did not respond to confirm Senna-chan's claims.

He heaved out a deep sigh and slowly wrapped his arms around me. My eyes grew wide. No one has done this since Onii-chan's death. No one has bothered to even say their condolences to me. And as Ichigo-kun pulled me closer to him, tears that I had thought had dried from all the crying I had done, stung my eyes.

"It would greatly sadden Sora-san to see you like this" he said softly into my hair. "I know it hurts, Orihime, but does it not hurt even more to know that Sora-san cannot rest in peace because his little sister is dying of starvation?"

Maybe it was because it was the first time in a long time that someone showed me affection that I burst out in tears again. Or maybe the fact that what Ichigo-kun was saying was true. Either way, I broke down messily in his arms.

After that, Ichigo-kun had always been with me. He still had to leave sometimes, but when he was here in Karakura, he made sure we always had time to be together. And it was his presence and friendship that made me feel alive again. It was his kind words and gentle smile that reminded me that there were still people who cared for me. I still had Rukia-chan, Renji-kun and Senna-chan.

And most of all, I had Ichigo-kun.

And now as my eyes traced his delicate face, I could not help but smile. The emotions of that day when he talked sense into me came rushing back. It was on that day that I realized just how much I loved him.

I had loved him for so long now that sometimes I forget the numbers. But I was not stupid. I knew we could not be together – we were worlds apart. I, a maid and him, the son of a general and a countess. I could not reach him. I was aware of that, so painfully aware.

And so I left my feelings for him unsaid. I was happy just to be close to him – to be his friend. Because if I told him that I loved him, I was afraid he would not reciprocate my affections and I would just ruin this wonderful friendship that we have. And I would never risk what I have with Ichigo-kun now for something as uncertain as love.

"Are you even listening to me?" Ichigo-kun scowled, snapping me from my musings.

"Sorry" I giggled, scratching the back of my head sheepishly, "what did you just say?"

Ichigo-kun shook his head at my antics. He was used to me and my tendencies to daydream at the most inappropriate times. "I said" he repeated, "Renji looks more like a baboon now that he has tattoos on his forehead"

A slight pang of nostalgia hit me. I missed Renji-kun. You see, just a year after Shunsui-san took Renji-kun in, he had been called back to Tokyo. Apparently, Shunsui-san was part of the police force there and he decided to take his adoptive son with him to keep a better eye on him.

I have not seen him since but he does write to me sometimes. In messy and hasty words he'd describe Tokyo to me. And sometimes, when Senna-chan had spare papers, I would write him back. Since Ichigo-kun often went to Tokyo, he's the only one who can tell really assure me that Renji-kun and Rukia-chan are doing well.

Speaking of Rukia-chan, I had not heard of her since she left the Okiya. According to Ichigo-kun ( who was the only person allowed to speak to her because he's of noble bearing), it was not that she did not want to visit, it was just that her big brother, Byakuya-san, had forbidden it. She could not even write to me or I to her.

It disheartened me greatly to know that they were keeping her in a mansion like a caged bird. I could only imagine how lonely she was, since the only person she could talk to was Ichigo-kun and that was only a few times in a month.

I longed to see my sister.

"Ichigo-kun that isn't very nice" I reprimanded him for saying something mean about Renji-kun, "He is our friend"

"Yeah, and it's because he's my friend that I'm being honest about how he really looks" he defended and though I know I shouldn't, I laughed.

It was only with Ichigo-kun that I felt I was not a lowlife.

Ichigo-kun who made me feel alive.

~.~.~.~.~

We talked some more under the bridge, until I needed to get back to the Okiya.

The skies had turned gray and with how the heavy the clouds looked, it was evident that it was going to rain. And so I willed my feet to walk faster.

As I was entering the Okiya, I noticed that the back door was left slightly agape. That's odd. I thought, for I was the only one who used the back door. Now that Senna-chan was an apprentice geisha, she no longer needed to use this door. I wondered again, why it was left open because I clearly remember shutting it before leaving. But I just shook the thought aside.

I moved quickly yet silently through the dirt hall. It was almost five in the afternoon. I best hurry if I wanted to make it in time for Mother's tea time.

But as I crossed the courtyard and bounded for the living quarters, I heard rustling in the storage shed. I paused for a while and I heard thuds coming from in there. Initially, I thought a cat had entered the storage shed and was rummaging for food but as I got neared, I realized that the thumping had a rhythm to it.

I should have let it pass if I wanted to brew the tea in time for when Mother expected her tea but curiosity got the better of me. As I neared the shed, I realized these sounds were not from cats. In fact, only humans can make these sounds – humans in the heat of passion.

It came as no surprise to me when, from the gap left slightly open, I saw Shutara-san writhing beneath a man. I recognized the man. I have seen him with her many times and she has even brought him to her room when she knew Mother and Ikumi-san were out. Shutara-san had threatened everyone not to tell and honestly, I would rather not meddle in her business and so I never spoke a word to anyone about it.

But for Shutara-san to bring her boyfriend to the Okiya when Mother was just a courtyard away and Ikumi-san could barge in any minute, she must be either extremely arrogant or extremely inebriated. And I was very stupid to have uttered a sound.

I gasped. But I could not help it. I was just so shocked. And when I realized what I had just done, I clamped a hand over my mouth and ran to hide.

"Someone saw us" I heard the man say. Obviously he was distraught at the notion of having been caught and soon after, I heard clothes rustling. I could also hear Shutara-san pleading for him to stay but clearly he would not.

"I can't do this anymore!" he half shouted, "I don't want to be sneaking around shamefully forever" and with a swish of his dochougi and a slam of the shed's door, the man was gone.

It was the first and only time that I heard Shutara-san whimper and beg. She cried out for him, even falling to her knees. And when he left, she banged her fists on the ground weariness. Suddenly, she turned sharply to where I was crouched. Her eyes burning with so much hostility for me that I trembled in fear for what she was going to do to me.

Before I knew it, she was in front of me, hauling me up and dragging me from my spot between the plants. She was shaking in anger as she pulled money from her kimono and shoved it me.

As if on que, Mother and Ikumi-san came rushing towards the courtyard, demanding to know what the ruckus was all about.

"I caught her stealing Mother!" Shutara-san declared, pointing at me accusingly.

Mother turned to me and saw the money that had been forced into my hands. Her face contorted into anger and she without so much as a thought, she slapped me. "But I did not!" I tried to tell her but she would not relent her onslaught on me. I was shoved to the ground as Mother began hitting me with a bamboo that was conveniently lying by the shed. By this time, the rain had begun to pour heavily and the large raindrops only made the bruises sting more. I glanced at Shutara-san as she just stared at me, a smug look on her face because we both knew that Mother would not stop until I bled. And so I was left with no choice.

"He was here!" I said frantically, "Shutara-san's boyfriend was here . . . they were in the storage shed"

As soon as I confessed, Mother stopped. Slowly, she turned to Shutara-san who looked so shocked, she looked like a dear caught off guard. "She's a liar" she snapped bitterly at me but Mother did not seem to believe her – not one bit.

"Hold her arms Ikumi"

Forcefully, Ikumi-san grabbed Shutara-san's arms, trapping them behind her back. Ikumi-san was much smaller that but she seemed so much stronger because Shutara-san flailed helplessly. With her jaw clenched, Mother approached Shutara-san and yanked her kimono apart.

I watched in horror as Mother stuck her hand between Shutara-san's legs. With the way she was glaring at Mother, I swear, had her arms been free, Shutara-san would have strangled Mother. But being the intimidating woman that Mother was, she was not fazed.

When Mother pulled her hand out, she rubbed her fingers together and smirked. Without warning, she backhanded Shutara-san with so much strength that our senior geisha's head twisted to her side. An angry red mark began to form on her cheeks.

It was strange how Shutara-san was staring smugly at Mother, her eyes conveying just how much she despised the older woman but as she was doing so, forlorn tears streamed down her eyes.

"Leave him" Mother commanded, "and stop this foolishness." Ikumi-san had let go of Shutara-san and she looked like she was ready to collapse. Mother grabbed her face and compelled her to look her in the eye. "Geisha are not meant for love" she said in a harsh whisper, "keep that in your pretty little head".

When only I and Shutara-san were left, I hugged myself to keep myself warm both from the rain and from Mother's words.

"You're just a maid" she suddenly spoke, making me jump. " This time, she turned to me fully, looking down at me with disdain. "If I can't have love then you can't too" she uttered.

I fearfully recoiled when she grabbed the front of my yukata and yanked me towards her. "Don't think that that Kurosaki boy loves you because he does not. He only pities you" she said, her voice dripping with animosity. Abruptly, she shoved me back down to the ground.

"After all, who could ever love dirt like you?"

~.~.~.~.~

It echoed inside my head for days. Who could ever love dirt like you? I knew my situation was pathetic but I never believed that Ichigo-kun stuck with me all these years because he pitied me but because he genuinely cared for me.

I have never been so shaken since my brother's death. How could one woman and her words break me so easily? Her words scared me – shook me to the core, so consumed with fear that what Shutara-san was saying might actually be true. I failed to realize that I was not the only one there anymore.

"I knew I'd find you here"

I knew that voice. I loved that voice. I loved the owner of that voice.

I whipped my head towards him, my heart so relieved to see his face. His usual frown sunk deeper as he got a better look at my face. The bruises were now starting to ripen, turning into a vibrant shade of violet with hints of black. "What happened to you?" he asked, approaching me. Seeing his brows furrow in concern for the sorry state of my face only made my heart clench. Did he really just pity me?

"I'm sorry Ichigo-kun" I mumbled.

"For what?"

"Because it was my fault that you got beat up by those four boys" I said shamefacedly.

Ichigo-kun looked puzzled but then my words registered. "You mean what happened three years ago? Orihime that has long been-"

"Please let me finish"

I knew what I had to say. It was a risk but if I did not say it now, I may not ever get the chance to do so ever. This could destroy whatever I have with Ichigo-kun but keeping what I felt for him to myself and not knowing how he truly felt about me would slowly consume me.

"I can't apologize enough to you for all the troubles I've caused you and at the same time, I can't thank you enough for all the things you've done for me" I blurted out.

"Orihime what happened? You sound like you're dying" Ichigo-kun clutched my shoulders, my words alarming him. But I just shook my head and grabbed his hand.

"You saved me from the bullies three years ago. You found Onii-chan for me. And after he passed, you reached out to me. In that time when I felt like dying, you showed me there's still reason to live" I don't remember when but tears began to blur my vision and my lips quivered as I continued. "You gave me a reason to live" I professed.

I smiled at him though tears were at the brim of my eyes, trying to convey the depth of my feelings for him. "You mean so much to Ichigo-kun. You mean the world to me" I paused for a while, contemplating on whether I should continue or not. But I haven't said what I was meaning to tell him yet and so I took a deep breath and gathered all the courage I had.

"I love you Ichigo-kun" it finally slipped out, "I've loved you for so long. I love you so much that I'd give anything to stay by your side"

Silence hung between us for the longest time. Ichigo-kun had not said a word, he had not even looked at me. His eyes were veiled by his bangs and I could not gauge what was running through his mind. In that moment, I was so afraid that I shattered our friendship.

"It's okay" I breathed, "you don't have to love me back-"

But I was never able to finish my sentence because a pair of lips descended on mine, shutting me up in the most tender way.

I froze. I'm sure it was not possible but I swore my heart both burst and soared at the same time.

After a few moments which actually felt like an eternity to me, Ichigo-kun pulled back. He smiled gently at me, wiping a lone tear that coursed down my cheek.

"Who ever said I didn't love you back?"

And despite everything that happened in my life, in spite of all the hurt, loss and suffering, I was okay. Even when I can no longer become a geisha, I was okay. Life was worth living.

Because Ichigo-kun was there.

Ichigo-kun who loved me.

I would like to thank:

Boobie-Chan, Jaque Weasley, Guest-san, Glasses-Hime, Sele de la Luna, lyerlaboys1, sunflowerspot, Selene Moonchild, yoruyoseihime, anonymousP, Livingdeadclaire, zodious, Mymina, potato princess

potato princess - Well I hope you liked this long ass chapter potato-hime :) Though I don't really mind age gaps. . . Chairman's age and Sayuri's was just too much and I didn't want that in my story.

Mymina - I'm so sorry to say but I don't think Soifon is going to be in this story . . . but hey . . .well see :)

Selene Moonchild - I'm so happy that you like the story. When I first read Memoirs of a Geisha, I was so immersed in their world as well. I hope you could check the book out because my god it's an experience.

Glasses-Hime - Your review made my day. I am so overwhelmed. Thank you so much. I hope I you liked this chapter as well and that I was to write in a way that you guys could somehow connect with Orihime.

Jaque Weasley - Oh you are in for one hell of a roller coaster when they're older XD

Author's Notes:

Well there you have it my reader-samas! I'm sorry about the length, I wanted to cut it but then it just seemed like these things just had to be in this chapter.

By the way, White Chrysanthemums are the flowers you usually find in a Japanese funeral which is why this chapter is entitled so.

I would also just like to say that Suteki Da Ne (the song that Orihime sings) is not mine. Nobuo Uematsu wrote it for Final Fantasy 10. I was originally going to use a Filipino lullaby but then I heard Suteki Da Ne and I saw Besaid and I just thought it fit Orihime's background perfectly. Please do listen to it, it's absolutely beautiful!

Now some of you may say that the pace is a little fast paced but I just really had to fast track it because guys, the most important parts are in the next chapter ALREADY and I just had to set the mood for what is to come. Next chapter I'll tell you a very very interesting fact about this story.

Forgive me for all the typos, I just kind of posted it without actually editing it. . . so gomen for that.

Anyway~ please do review. Reading your comments give me life :3

Till next time! Ja Neeeeee~