Eddie looked at herself in the mirror and sighed, this is the first time she'd be out since her attack happened. Looking herself up and down again she shook her head. Normally she wore dresses and she'd even bought one for tonight, but as soon as she put it on she felt exposed and didn't feel comfortable at all. Grabbing her boots, she sat on the bed and put them on, she'd just have to make do with her jeans and top tonight. Hearing voices she walked out to find Erin and Jamie talking hushed in the kitchen "hey," she said walking towards them.

"Eddie, hey," Erin said, "you look great," she added.

"Yeah, but where's the dress you got?" Jamie asked, "I thought you wanted to wear it."

"Thank you," she replied, "I did but I ripped the zipper on it," she lied "so these will have to do…what are you two whispering about in the corner?"

"Nothing for you to worry about," Jamie said quickly.

"Yeah, just grandpa's birthday," Erin added.

Eddie scoffed "come on guys, I know it's about me."

"It can wait," Erin smiled "Jamie already said you didn't want to hear about it tonight."

Eddie leaned on the counter and looked at them "we haven't left yet nor have I started drinking, let's get it out of the way now…what is it?" she asked.

Jamie looked at Erin before sighing and nodding. "I'm trying my best to keep this out of court," Erin started "I sent another plea deal to his lawyer, if he pleads guilty it would skip court and be a private ruling."

"Okay," Eddie nodded "and let me guess, he said no?"

"I haven't heard back yet, but the lawyer was pretty confident he'd decline."

Eddie nodded again and walked to the fridge "what was the offer?"

"Five years-three with good behaviour, and two years probation" Erin said and glanced at Jamie "Eddie if this goes to court he could walk or he could get ten years…I'm just thinking of you, you've been through enough," she said softly.

Eddie nodded and swigged her beer "well, I guess we'll have to wait and see, there's enough evidence against him," she said and walked by them to the table.

"Sorry, I have to take this," Erin said and walked away as her phone rang.

Jamie walked to Eddie and sat beside her "you okay?" he asked nudging her.

"Yeah," she smiled "I'm great...when's Danny and Linda getting here?"

"Just Danny," he replied, "Linda caught a night shift."

"Okay, we're just waiting on him then?" she asked.

Jamie nodded "he's just settling the boys at my dad's then he'll be over...think Maria is meeting us there."

"Where are we going first?" she asked.

Jamie shrugged "McKinley's is normally good on a Saturday night."

"You always pick cop bars," she groaned.

"What?" he laughed "it's what we're used to…if you want to go anywhere we'll go."

"Alright," she smirked "club M is not far from there," she said and stood up "cocktails are cheap, music is pretty good too."

Jamie stood up and walked towards the door as the buzzer went "god help me," he groaned.

…

Halfway through the night Jamie and Danny sat in conversation while Eddie Erin and Maria danced away not far from them. Jamie looked up to check on them and smiled as Eddie and Erin giggled together like school kids as Maria danced with some guy.

Danny looked over and stood up quickly "who does that guy think he is all over my partner?"

"A male," Jamie chuckled and pulled him back down " sit down, she doesn't seem to mind," he added.

"How's Janko doing?" Danny asked as they watched her "Erin told me about the plea deal."

"Yeah, she's okay, she didn't say anything about it other than we'll have to wait and see...and she seems to be having a good time, I don't think she's drank much."

"Kid," Danny said and leaned closer to him "she's had at least six shots, three beers and now I think she's on her fifth double…keep an eye on her."

"Really?" Jamie frowned and looked over at her dancing away laughing her head off "I only bought her two since we got here."

"Yeah, but she's been to the bar herself, Erin got her one and so did Biaz...I think I did too," Dany replied.

Jamie sighed and looked over, he saw a guy come up behind her, he stood quickly as her face changed and she froze on the spot.

"Let her handle it," Danny said holding onto his arm.

"She's freaking out Danny," he said and pulled away from him before making his way over.

Eddie swung to face the guy and pushed him away "don't touch me!" she hissed.

"Chill baby, we're just having some fun," he said and stepped back to slide his hands around her waist.

"I don't think so, keep walking," Maria said and pulled Eddie away.

"Aww come on," he laughed and stepped closer towards her again.

"Back it up buddy," Jamie said stepping in front of her. "Ladies asked you to leave them alone."

He scoffed and shoved Jamie "beat it," he said and went to walk by him.

Jamie put his hand on the guys chest "I said move on."

Danny joined him "I'd keep moving," he warned.

He laughed again and shoved Danny "you gonna make me?"

Danny gave that smirk and flashed his badge "you just assaulted a police officer and a detective…your move," he smiled.

The guy held up his hands "whoa, chill, I was just having some fun."

"Well go have it somewhere else," Jamie replied.

Danny turned to check on the girls and frowned when it was just Biaz "where's Janko and my sister?"

"Eddie kicked off and wanted a shot at the guy so Erin took her to the bathroom."

Jamie walked by him and back to the table "I think it's time to get her home, I didn't realise she was that drunk," he said and grabbed their coats.

"Yeah, we're gonna head too," Danny said, "it's after two anyway, I'll drop Erin home…you sure you don't want a ride?"

"I'm sure, thanks Danny but I think she needs to sober up a bit," Jamie replied as they walked towards the bathroom.

After a few minutes waiting Maria came out gripping Eddie's arm firmly "what's going on?" Jamie asked as he and Danny pushed themselves off the wall.

"This one just assaulted the Assistant District Attorney," she replied.

"What?" Jamie yelled horrified "you hit my sister?"

"You okay sis?" Danny asked as she walked out holding paper to her nose.

"Yeah," she said and looked at Eddie "she just snapped and punched me."

"Eddie," Jamie said angrily "what the hell were you thinking?"

"I don't know! she put her hand on my back, I freaked, I'm sorry Erin," she replied a little more sober.

"Do you wanna press charges?" Danny asked.

"No," she sighed and wiped her nose again "I just wanna go home."

"I'm sorry Erin," Eddie tried again.

"I get you're upset over what happened, I'm trying to help you, that was completely unnecessary," she said and walked off.

Danny looked at Jamie and shrugged before he and Maria followed her "good luck and happy birthday kid!" he called back.

Jamie sighed and watched them go, turning back to Eddie he handed her her coat "come on, time to go," he said and walked off.

Eddie slid on her coat and followed him outside "Jamie," she said as he walked ahead of her "I don't know what happened, I'm sorry."

"You hit my sister Eddie!" he yelled and whirled to face her "I'm so mad at you!" he yelled and started to walk again.

"I said I was sorry!" she called after him.

"Just hurry up!" he snapped and started to walk faster.

Getting to her building he waited for her to open the door and let herself in "you coming in?" she asked.

"No, goodnight," he said and walked off.

"Jamie!" she called and followed him "come on, don't be like that…Jamie," she said and grabbed his arm.

Pulling away quickly he turned to face her "you are not fine Eddie no matter how many times you say you are! My sister was only helping you and this is how you repay her? Do you realise what you've done? She can have you charged, you could lose you badge! I get you were freaked, I saw your face when he came over to you…you need to go see someone, clearly I can't help you, you can't even be honest with me," he said and walked off again.

"Jamie," she whimpered after him "don't go! Please!"

Softening a little he walked back to her "you should get inside and get some water into you, you drank a lot you need to sleep it off."

"I'm sorry," she whimpered "I'm so sorry! I don't know what I'm doing! I don't know what I'm feeling! My head is so screwed up!" she cried and threw her hands over her face.

Jamie sighed again and pulled her into him "I can't help you if you won't be honest with me."

"I need help!" she cried and gripped his collar "I want it to stop! Please make it stop!"

Gripping her tighter as her knees buckled he rested his chin on her head "I'll get you through this," he said softly and led her inside.

…

It was now Sunday afternoon, all the Reagan's had gathered at Franks house for their weekly dinner after mass. Looking around the table he chuckled at his three children either staring at their plates or stabbing their food like it had done something wrong, "I take it by the silence from you three last night was a big night?" he asked.

"You could say that," Danny said and glanced between Erin and Jamie.

"I think something is being kept from us Francis," Henry chuckled.

"It's not like that," Erin said looking down to him "last night was fun and a late one for Jamie's birthday, we're just tired."

"Jaime?" Frank asked knowing his youngest couldn't lie.

Jamie was too busy stabbing his food and thinking about Eddie that he hadn't heard a word anyone had said since he sat down. He looked up when Nicky nudged him to see everyone looking at him "what?" he asked.

"What happened last night?" Frank asked watching him closely.

"Nothing," he shrugged "we had some drinks, some laughs and went home."

"Then why hasn't your phone stopped beeping since you got here? And why are you two sneaking glances?" Frank asked looking between Erin and Danny.

Jamie sighed "fine, I had a blow out with my partner…it's sorted now," he lied.

"Bullhonkey!" Henry laughed "something's going on here."

"Alright, alright," Jamie groaned "it was a little more than a blow out."

"Does this have anything to do with the bloody napkin I found in the bin this morning?" Nicky asked.

"You went through the trash?" Erin asked with raised eyebrows.

"No," Nicky chuckled "I went to put something in the bin and saw it… and your white shirt soaking on the sink with blood stains on it."

"What?" Frank asked and looked at her "you were fighting?" he asked and looked at Danny before she could reply "and where were you when this was happening?"

"Outside the bathroom with Jamie waiting on them," he replied.

"It was a misunderstanding, can we forgot about it please?" Erin asked.

Frank studied Jamie as he went back his world of his own stabbing his food "it was your partner"? he asked.

"Yes dad," he sighed and sat back "I've already laid into her and now I don't know what to next, so can we drop it please?"

"Look, it's a mistake and I won't be pressing charges," Erin cut in "some sleazy guy came up behind her and put his arms around her. She was scared and went into protective mode, I caught her off guard."

"Not to mention he pushed me and Jamie," Danny added.

Frank raised an eyebrow "he pushed both of you and he's not in a cell?"

"We didn't want to make a big deal, Eddie was already freaking," Jamie added and looked down at his phone as it rang, seeing Eddie on the screen he sighed and cancelled it.

"Talk to her," Frank encouraged "she's feeling as bad as you no doubt."

Monday morning had come and she still hadn't heard from Jamie, looking down at her phone again she sighed and looked up to the building she was standing outside for twenty minutes already.

Shaking her head, she blew out a breath and went inside, taking the elevator to the floor she needed she got out and walked to the reception desk "hi," she said waiting for the girl to look up.

"Hi, how can I help?" she smiled.

"I'm looking to see Erin Reagan?"

The girl tapped away at her keyboard "Mrs Fallon?" she asked.

"No," Eddie replied.

"Okay," she said and looked back to her screen "what's your name? Have you and appointment?"

"No, I was hoping I could just see her for a minute," Eddie replied.

"Sorry, she's really busy today and she's just about to go into a meeting."

"I can wait," Eddie replied.

"I can't tell you how long she'll be or if she'll even have time to see you."

Eddie nodded "I understand and I'm willing to wait."

Before the receptionist could reply Erin came around the corner and frowned upon spotting her "Eddie?"

Eddie turned to face her "hey, I was hoping I could talk to you for a minute."

"I'm just about to go into a meeting, is everything okay?"

"Please?" she asked, "it'll only take a minute."

Erin sighed and looked at the receptionist "call ahead and tell them I'll be there in ten minutes," she said and nodded for Eddie to follow her to her office.

"I'll be really quick," Eddie said as she walked by her "I just wanted to apologise for the other night," she said and turned to face her "Erin I'm so sorry, when I was in the bathroom all I could see was Nick with his hands all over me, I was trying to hold it together then you came in. I didn't even hear you and when you put your hand on my back I panicked…I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," Erin said softly "I understand where you're coming from and I'm not pressing charges."

"That's not why I'm here," she cut in quickly "if you want to press charges I deserve it."

"I'm not pressing charges, I'm fine, it left no mark…I'm more worried about you."

Eddie nodded "thank you and that's why I'm here, I was hoping you'd be able to help put me in touch with a good shrink."

"What about the department councillor?"

Eddie shook her head "I want to do this on my own time and outside the department where no one knows."

Erin nodded "okay, does anyone know you're doing this?"

"No," she mumbled "after Jamie exploded at me the other night I knew it was time to face that I can't deal with it by myself.

Erin held up her finger as her receptionist came to the door "Eddie I have to go, but I'll looking into when I'm out of this meeting."

Eddie nodded "thank you," she said and held out a box "peace offering…Jamie said they were your favourite."

Erin took the box and chuckled "red velvet cupcakes, thank you."

"I don't want to keep you any longer...did Jamie have a good birthday?" she asked.

Erin sighed sadly "yeah, he did we were all there all day...don't worry, he's just mad now, it'll work itself out."

Eddie nodded "good, I'm glad, anyway I gotta get to work but thanks for seeing me, and you have my number…bye," she said and hurried off.

…

Getting to the station she looked around for Jamie, when she didn't see him she sighed and walked along to the locker rooms. Turning the corner, she jumped back as someone rounded the corner same time as her "sorry," she said quickly.

"It's okay," Jamie replied.

Eddie looked up at him "hey," she said awkwardly.

"Hey," he smiled quickly "you got about three minutes to roll call," he added.

Eddie nodded and stepped around him "I'll see you there," she said and hurried off. She'd worked on what she was going to say to Erin but he was on another level…what was she going to say to him?

Watching her go he sighed wishing he could just forget everything that happened over the weekend.

A few minutes later they both made their way to the car separately, stopping at the door she closed her eyes to give herself a minute. Pulling the door open she climbed in and glanced at him as he scribbled in his pad.

Seeing her close the door he put his pad down and started up the car…this was gonna be one awkward tour.

Almost two hours into tour they were still in silence, it had been a very long and slow morning which made things worse. She kept shooting Jamie glances he hadn't missed, he sighed and pulled into the side of the road.

"You see something?" she asked looking around.

"No," he said and looked over at her "I'm just not doing this for the rest of the day."

Eddie nodded and looked down as a message from Erin came through "I know you're mad at me and you have every right to be."

"I am mad yeah," he nodded "but it still doesn't change the fact that you need to talk to someone, you're not coping well no matter how hard you try and hide it. If I can see it it won't be long before someone else does. If anything happens to either of us on the job I'm the one that has to explain why I never reported it and you're the one that'll have to deal with an investigation." Looking over at her leaned in a bit "Eddie I don't want to see you get hurt or have to explain why I got hurt."

"I know," she nodded and looked down at her hands "which is why I went to see Renzulli and asked for a leave of absence." Looking over at him she blew out a breath "I went to see Erin this morning too."

"What?" he asked "why?"

"Because I think I need a bit of time off, I came back too quick, I wasn't ready. I went to see Erin because I wanted to apologise properly…and ask her for her help."

Jamie frowned "help? For what? why didn't you come to me?" he asked.

"Because you were ignoring me, I tried to call you like fifty times yesterday…it's not about you forgiving me, I get why you're mad and I totally deserve it."

Jamie sighed heavily "I'm sorry, I just needed a bit of time."

"It's okay," she mumbled "anyway, Erin has put me in touch with a shrink…first appointment is tomorrow morning."

Jamie was surprised, he didn't think she'd act this fast. Placing his hand on hers he smiled when she looked over "first step is always the hardest, I'm real proud of you and I'm gonna be with you every step of the way."

Eddie turned her hand and laced their fingers together "Jamie you don't have to do all this for me, it's my mess I need to be the one to sort it."

"Eddie, I care about you, I'm not gonna let you go through this alone."

Eddie leaned in and kissed him on the cheek "thank you," she said and pulled back "I hope you know just how much you mean to me."

"And I hope you know how much you mean to me," he said and squeezed her hand "now that's out of the way I think we deserve some coffee."

"Oh yes," she chuckled and settled back in her seat.

Pulling up at their favourite coffee stand they both climbed out "hey, do you wanna come over for dinner later, for your birthday since we're not going out tonight?" she asked as they waited in line "I have your present too."

"Sure," he chuckled "but you don't have to go to any trouble and you didn't have to get me anything."

"Eddie the bitch cop!" slurred a voice behind them.

They both turned to see Nick swaying from side to side with a gun on them "take it easy," Jamie said stepping in front of her as everyone else fled.

"How sweet," he sneered "her night in shining armour," he slurred "she needs to pay for what she's done to me!"

"Are you kidding me?" Eddie yelled and shoved Jamie out of the way "whatever you get you deserve after what you did to me."

"Don't antagonize him," Jamie said and held up his hands "hey calm down, you don't wanna do this, a lot of innocent people around here, just put the gun down."

"How about I just blow you away instead, huh?" he laughed.

"No one is using any guns," Jamie said calmly.

"She likes you," he chuckled "wonder how she'd feel knowing your death is on her," he said and let off a shot.

Before Jamie knew what was happening Eddie had dived on him and taken him to the ground "you okay?" she panted.

"Yeah, you?" he asked.

"Fine," she said and jumped up, catching up to Nick she tackled him to the ground "you take a shot at my partner?" she yelled as she flipped him over. "You're going down for good you piece of scum," she said and cuffed him "you're under arrest for attempted murder of a police officer and public endangerment!" she hissed and pulled him to his feet.

"Eddie," Jamie said wide eyed "you're bleeding."

Eddie looked down at the blood dripping onto her trousers and gasped "I'm fine," she squeaked.

"Take him," Jamie said and pushed Nick to other Officers as they ran over. As soon as Nick had been removed from her the shock and pain hit her, she grabbed her stomach and stumbled into him.

"I got you, I got you," he said as he lowered them both to the ground "you're okay, you're okay," he said and pulled his radio to his mouth "Central, this is twelve David! I need a bus! Officer down! I repeat Officer down! Put a rush on it!" he yelled trying to remain calm.

"Jamie," she groaned.

"You're okay," he said pulling her closer to press down on her wound.

"I'm okay," she mumbled "it's just my side."

Jamie looked around as one Officer from the other car ran back to him "I can't wait for that bus, you'll have to drive us," he said and pulled them both up on their feet.

"Owww!" Eddie cried as he lifted her into his arms.

"I'm sorry Eddie," he panted as he ran to his car "but I'm not losing you," he said and put her in the back before getting in with her "go!" he yelled frantically.

"Jamie, calm down," she said with her eyes closed.

"Hey, no, no," he said pulling her into him "you keep them beautiful eyes open you hear me?"

Eddie smiled but didn't open her eyes "I'm tired," she mumbled.

"Janko if you don't open them eyes I'm gonna kill you myself!" he yelled panicked.

"You wouldn't do that," she chuckled "you love me," she mumbled.

"Yes, yes I do love you," he said pulling onto his lap "which is why I need you to open your eyes and stay with me," he whimpered and lowered his head to hers "I need you Eddie, I'm not ready for this."

"Wuss," she chuckled and leaned into him "if I do go I just want you to know I L-"

"No," he said cutting her off "I don't wanna hear it, you're not going anywhere."

"Jamie, shut up," she chuckled "I just want you to know that I love you too…we would have been great together-once we stopped denying it."

"We're here," the Officer said as he screeched to a stop outside the emergency room and jumped out.

"Just hold on Eddie, I know you can do it," he said as he lifted her into his arm. Bursting through the doors the first person he was Linda "LINDA! He yelled all over the place "I need help! She's been shot!"

"Oh my god! Eddie!" she yelled and threw her clipboard down "over here Jamie," she said and ran to an empty bed.

Jamie eased her onto the bed "ow," she whimpered.

"You're okay, we're at the hospital, you're gonna be okay," he said quickly.

"Jamie, you need to wait outside," Linda said as she pulled her vest off.

"What no, I'm staying right here."

"Jamie, you're just in the way," she said softly.

"Come on man, let them work on her," the other Officer said and tugged him away.

"I'm right here Eddie, I'm right here!" he called as he was pulled away.

….

A few hours later Linda came to find Jamie "how is she? Is she okay? Can I see her?" he rambled.

Linda held up her hands "she's fine, the bullet missed everything vital and nicked her kidney, but we managed to repair it and stop the bleeding."

"Thank god," he sighed and closed his eyes tight " thank you god, is she awake?"

Linda nodded "she's awake but a little groggy, you might not get any sense out of her she's on pretty strong painkillers."

"I just want to see her, if she's sleeping I'll leave her be," he replied.

Linda nodded again "since you drove here and not by ambulance your dad was only notified, he's on his way, I called Danny and Erin too," she said as they walked to her room.

Jamie nodded and looked in on Eddie "I'll be here," he said and squeezed her hand "and thanks Linda, I owe you a lot, I don't know how to thank you."

"Do me one favour?" she smirked "stop pretending and go get her."

Jamie chuckled "working on it, thanks again," he said and walked to the bed.

Leaning over her he smiled and rubbed her hair, leaning in he kissed her on the head "that was stupid huh? Don't you ever do that to me again," he mumbled softly.

"Next time I'll let a bullet hit you, coz this sure aint fun," she mumbled back.

"Hey, you're awake" he smiled "how are you feeling?"

"Sore, tired," she replied.

"Get some sleep, I'll be here," he said and leaned over her "Eddie you took a bullet for me I can never repay you."

"You saved my life, debt repaid," she said and opened he eyes "I meant what I said in the car…I love you Jamie and I'm gonna do whatever it takes for us to work."

Smiling he moved closer to her "me too, we'll talk when you're better," he said and kissed her gently "get some sleep I'll be here when you wake up."

After she'd fallen asleep he sat watching her closely, he was afraid to take his eye off her even though he was reassured she was on the mend. Frank stood looking at him through the window, sighing he walked to the door "how is she?" he whispered.

Jamie looked back at him then back to Eddie "she's fine," he said and stood up "it missed everything vital, it did nick her kidney but it's been repaired."

"Thank god," Frank replied and walked to the window "and how are you?"

"Not gonna lie dad, this was the scariest few hours of my life."

Frank nodded "your partner is like family, I know a thing or two about that one."

"That's not it," Jamie said and looked in on her "when Vinnie died in my arms I was devastated, but her…" he trailed off "I can't imagine my life without her. All this has made me realise how much I'm in love with her."

Frank chuckled "you're only realising now what everyone else has known for years?"

Jamie chuckled too "I was kidding myself."

Frank slapped him on the back "you know what you have to do son."

A/N hope you enjoyed my little twist…probably about two chapters left, JJ.