AARON & JACKSON

-1912-

"If Things Are Meant To Be..."

As the evening set in and slowly began to end their first day aboard Aaron was sat with Adam in the third class general room, it was filled with smoke, smelled of ale and loud music filled the air, families, couples and people travelling alone all conversed together and had fun. Aaron took out a cigarette and lit it then quickly blew out the first draw from it. He looked at Adam and frowned at him.

"What? You've been looking at me funny since I got here!" Aaron accused as he picked up his pint glass and took a swig, looking at people dancing to the music.

"That's because you were gone ages!" he shouted over the music. "And you have a permanent grin on that face of yours"

Aaron shrugged. "So"

"So? What do you mean so? Get your leg over did ya?"

Aaron scoffed. "No!" he called back raised the cigarette to his mouth again and took a drag. "Anyway I don't have to tell you where I' am you know, you hardly know me"

"Yeah I know" he could tell Aaron's words weren't meant maliciously. "Sorry"

"Nah, don't be" he replied with a smile. He realised his sexuality was now becoming an issue; Adam had assumed he'd met a girl and had sex, and Aaron wasn't going to play along. In fact he had enjoyed an amazing afternoon with the sexiest most handsome man alive, he'd given Aaron a tour of the ship, then later found out Jackson helped build it, he was impressed, and found that he was fascinated by the man. He really, really was. But he didn't want to have to keep sidestepping the issue if Adam asked stuff or assumed, like he had just had, he started to consider telling him, if his judgements of Adam were correct, he'd be okay with it. He seemed laid back, have a laugh kind of lad, and nothing fazed him. Aaron hoped he was right.

Hours passed and two very drunken young lads sat at a table, their elbows drenched in the dark liquid as their drunken arm wrestles knocked over a glass or two. They didn't care. "Yes!" Aaron yelled happily. "I won again!"

Adam frowned. "You're a cheat"

"Oh no, don't be a sore loser, you still won one..."

"Oh wow, yeah out of five" They both laughed, and Adam looked over the clouded room caused by the cigarette smoke and looked at the large clock on the far wall. It was almost midnight. "Right" Adam declared as he unsteadily got to his feet, Aaron was almost halfway up ready to catch him but Adam regained control. "I'm going to bed, I'm done"

"So am I but I'm still here" he grinned, his vision masked slightly by the alcohol.

"Yeah well you're obviously made of more tolerable stuff than me, night mate" Adam slurred as he wandered away, and not in a straight line.

Aaron watched with a smile and laughed when he fell into a group of young women. Aaron closed his eyes, the room was spinning, he couldn't remember the last time he'd drank so much. He opened them again and carefully stood up, swayed then started walking away, he needed some air and the smoke was stinging his eyes and causing them to water. His drunken state made him feel like he was walking so fast that he wouldn't stop if he tried. He left through the door and walked along the corridor, unknowingly walking toward the wall then hitting it gently which alerted him and he straightened out but once he was he relaxed once again and started walking to the opposite side. His arm scraped along the wall alerting him again he stopped walking and sighed. Concentrate

Rooms, countless corridors and however many decks away Jackson stood in his and Samantha's bedroom, she had long been asleep. Jackson however couldn't, all he could think about was Aaron and a need to find him again was so great that he was now dressing once again ready to leave his fiancé to sleep alone. He quietly walked across the room and opened the door as carefully as he could then hurriedly left. He let out a sigh of relief but turned to see his mum sitting in the lounge.

"And where are you going?" she asked.

"Bloody hell mum! Trying to give me a heart attack?" he sighed. "I'm going for a walk, I can't sleep and lying there is doing nothing for me"

"How about a soothing drink?" she asked, she was very suspicious of him. "It's working for me"

"Yeah, well" he frowned as he walked over to the main door of their suite. "I'm not you mum, night" he told her and left the room quickly.

Hazel looked down into her hot drink, and let out a heavy sigh, something was going on, there had to be.

/

Aaron was climbing the aft third class stairway to the boat deck and his hand eye co-ordination was not functioning, in fact nothing was, his legs weren't conforming to what he wanted them to do, well maybe an exaggeration they were but he kept missing a step and falling up the stairs. Minutes later he walked out into the freezing cold night, the stars, millions of stars filled the sky, and with no major lights to mask them, he could see every one of them. "Wow" he breathed. He looked around there was nobody around, in his view anyway. Aaron walked aft and smiled as he approached, the place he'd met Jackson, he'd never forget that, even if nothing occurred between them but he really wanted it too. He could hear the sound of the water, the wake the ship left in fact causing it. He rested against the railings and looked out, the sky was black but there was definitely a difference in the water, it was more of a dark navy blue than black and it marked out the horizon perfectly if anyone paid attention. He took out a cigarette and lit it quickly and blew the smoke out, it lingered for a few seconds before dissipating.

Jackson smirked as he watched him from behind. "Bad habit that you know?"

Aaron jumped and quickly turned around. "Jesus!" he laughed.

Jackson held up his hands. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you"

"It's alright, why are you up anyway?"

"I couldn't sleep, you?" he asked as he walked closer to him.

"I haven't tried going to sleep but I can bet as soon I get in bed I'll be gone"

Jackson chuckled.

"I'm drunk" he stated, his noise crinkling as he said it. "Completely and utterly drunk and you know what, I don't care"

Jackson nodded with a smile. "It's allowed"

Aaron's focus got better the more Jackson approached him and he took his breath away. He nodded, swallowing hard as he did. "Course it is, ugh the ship is spinning" he leaned over and pushed his palm into his forehead.

"You alright?" a concerned tone escaped Jackson.

"Yeah, yeah just give me a sec"

"Course, just hold onto that railing yeah?" he chuckled. "Falling overboard isn't an option"

"And being sick in front of you is? Ugh" he groaned.

Jackson shrugged. "I wouldn't care" he watched him, examining every part of him. "B-But if you do feel sick, that can go overboard, but you can't"

Aaron chuckled and stood straight slowly. "No, no I think I'll be alright...tell you something though" he began as he walked past Jackson to one of the benches. "Third class parties are definitely something"

Jackson smiled. "I bet"

"Yeah you uh, you should come down sometime"

Jackson joined him. "I will do, I'll make sure of it"

Silence fell upon them and Aaron sat looking down at the wooden deck. He shivered slightly in the cold, he could feel Jackson's eyes on him, he didn't mind he wanted his eyes on him, but more so his hands, hell his entire body on his. He closed his eyes as he said the words. "I'm attracted to you Jackson" he said softly, however keeping his eyes down.

Jackson bit his lip and looked out into the darkness, he nodded to himself accepting the words, relief at the words and that Aaron felt the same. It was an amazing feeling, but why had it happened? Why had it taken until Jackson left the UK on a passenger liner to meet a stranger, a perfect, possibly lovable stranger for this to happen, and not at home? Fate? He did always say if things are meant to be they'll happen, and it certainly looked like it was.

"I-I-I didn't tell you because you know what people are like with gays, homosexuality it doesn't matter what class you're in the majority of reactions are always similarly negative"

"An...And that's why I haven't told you either, I'm attracted to you Aaron" Jackson began "And when I first saw you today, I was struck, completely in awe I guess"

Aaron was now looking at him with a smile on his face. "I don't know what you see in me" he replied thoughtfully.

"I see everything Aaron"

Aarons smile widened and he nodded, then it faded as quickly as it came "But what about your fiancée?"

Jackson knew this would come at some point. He shrugged. "Something I have had to do Aaron, going over to America to marry her, to live there and to start a new life" he scoffed.

"But you're not happy Jackson, it's clear to see"

"Yeah I know...my mum knows and she doesn't like it at all, told me to fix it as if it's a problem, it's not I don't like what she's forcing me into for the sake of the family and her career, my mum she's a bit of a celebrity she's an artist"

"Ahh I see and those paintings in your room?"

Jackson smirked. "No but if she had her way she'd take them down and put hers up, god forbid I do anything to ruin her reputation"

"But it's your life Jackson; it's as simple as that"

"I know...my life significantly brightened when I first saw you, I know it sounds silly"

"It doesn't I just don't understand, you weren't to know we'd talk"

"I did, because I made sure I'd find you" Jackson told him honestly.

Aaron sighed, the difficulty of the situation now apparent. "I may be many things but I'm not one for breaking up a family" he screwed up his face. "What the hell am I talking about we just met today. Sorry" he apologised. "Getting way ahead of myself there"

"No, it's fine" he smiled. "We're just two men who have found an attraction and the situation is awkward anyway"

Aaron nodded. "Yeah, but while we're on this ship together we can be friends? No harm in that"

"Yeah" Jackson grinned. "Course we can" he swallowed hard, he'd basically told him nothing was going to happen in not so many words and he didn't mean it, he really didn't. What did he do now?

"Good" Aaron smiled as he stood up, more steadily now, the fresh air had helped a bit. "I better get going though"

"Yeah sure" Jackson smiled. "Want me to walk you back?"

"No, no I'll be fine" Aaron reassured him and started to walk away

"Okay good night"

Aaron turned back as he walked and smiled at him one last time before walking out of view.

Jackson sighed and got to his feet and walked away only to see his mother emerging from behind a large pillar. He stopped dead in his tracks.

Hazel looked at him disgusted. "What the hell was that about?"

"You shouldn't be listening, hell! You shouldn't even be following me"

"Well I found it a bit unusual that you couldn't sleep, you can always sleep Jackson"

He sighed and looked away.

"But now I know why – that boy, well...if you can call him that"

"He's a man"

"Pfft okay so I take it he's encouraging this so called homosexuality is he? And what about him? Does he think it's normal? Are his friends proud or disgusted?"

"How can you even say these things?" Jackson spat angrily. "He does think its normal as a matter of fact, it's a part of who he is, just like it is with me! And as for your last question..." he walked closer to her. "If a person is gay then it shouldn't matter to their loved ones, friends, whoever they choose to tell and do you know why? Because they love that person"

"I do love you!"

Jackson was pleased the message had been heard and received.

"This is why I'm doing what I am, you haven't been right for a while, it didn't take me long to figure it out Jackson but it's wrong in the eyes of society"

"Oh there's that word again"

"But it's true!"

"Yes!" Jackson raised his voice back at her. "It might well be true, I'm aware of it, so is he! But I don't give a damn if it's wrong I'd rather be happy and loved-" he was cut off.

"Samantha does love you"

Jackson just looked at her, a blank expression on his face. "...And to love someone back" he snapped, then attempted to walk past her but she grabbed his arm tightly to stop him.

"You can't do this Jackson, it's just a phase and it'll go in time, Samantha is a wonderful girl and you know it, you love her, you obviously told her you did otherwise you wouldn't be getting married"

"Well" his eyes bore into her. "What can I say mother it's not all it cracked up to be. I'm gay mum, the sooner you get it into your head the better. I'm not marrying Samantha, and you cannot make me"

"Just watch me" she said angrily.

Jackson pulled his arm from her grasp harshly and walked away quickly. He breathed heavily on the way back to his room, seething from the encounter with his mum. Where had his bravery come from he wondered, he wouldn't have done that before. It didn't take him long until he had his answer – Aaron. Aaron was the reason why. Now, Jackson just had to loosen himself from the tangled web he was in and carry out his words, and not marrying Samantha. He felt bad, they'd known each other a long time, once upon a time he thought it was love but he soon realized he preferred the same sex but by then it was too late, the pretence started and now, a few years later he was beginning to get tired of it, and his reaction toward his mother only just proved that and reiterated to himself how much he wanted out of it all. And he would get out; he'd take what was to come from the two women though. Why couldn't she just accept her son was gay?

TBC...