Harry's POV
At last it seemed to dawn on everyone, though no one said it, that he was gone. There wouldn't even be a body, after he'd fallen from so high, over some undefined location, out in an area swarming with death eaters.
Suddenly, Jenny turned away and marched into the house. In silence, we followed suit, each step seeming to weigh more with each step. As we walked into the living room, we came upon the twins, laughter still in their eyes, but dimming quickly.
"What's wrong? Why's Jenny crying?" Fred asked, "who's-"
"Mad-eye's dead"
No one seemed to know what to do. After a moment, Hermione stepped forward and ran after Jenny. Tonks had started crying silently, she had been close to Moody; his favorite student. Hagrid sat down in the corner, dabbing his eyes with his tablecloth-sized handkerchief.
/
Jenny's POV
I swung the door to my room shut as I flew onto my bed. Mad-eye was dead and it was entirely my fault. If only I had gone instead of Mundungus- if only I'd been a few days older- none of this would have happened. Mad-eye was dead.
I felt a weight sinking the side of the bed as someone sat down. I didn't want comfort- I didn't want solace- I wanted to let the guilt weigh me down until I sank into the abyss.
"You can't blame yourself," Hermione's soft voice cooed as she placed her hand on my back.
"But I can!" I turned to face her. "If I had gone-"
"-you'd be dead," she finished, her jaw set. "Mad-eye was hit because Mundungus disapparated, a spell intended for him hit Mad-eye instead. If you had been there, it would have hit you, you would have fallen, and you would have died."
Her words cut me like knives. I had never heard her speak so harshly, especially not to me. I opened my mouth to speak, but she wasn't going to stop now.
"If you say one word- if you even think about wishing you had been there in his place-" she closed her mouth, unable to continue.
/
Harry's POV
"Eet still does not explain 'how zey knew we were moving 'arry tonight, does it? Someone must 'ave been careless- let ze date slip- zat is ze only explanation for zem knowing the date but not ze plan," Fleur glared at them all, trails from tears still lingering on her beautiful face, silently daring anyone to contradict her. I saw the blazing determination in her eyes, the same as Jenny's.
"No," I exclaimed, earning many surprised stared. The firewhiskey we had just toasted to Mad-eye with must have amplified my voice. The whole house was silent except for the absent echo from my proclamation. "I mean- if someone made a mistake and let something slip, I know they didn't mean to do it. It's not their fault," I repeated, raising my voice a little, "we've got to trust each other. I trust all of you, I don't believe for one second that any of you would ever sell me to Voldemort"
The silence lasted for what seemed like minutes. They were all looking at me, each of them thinking to themselves, not realizing that their gazes pressed down on me. I drank more of my firewhiskey, thinking of how Mad-eye was always been headstrong about Dumbledore's willingness to trust people.
As I downed the rest of my glass, I looked at Lupin, who was wearing an odd expression as he looked at me.
"You think I'm a fool?" I demanded.
"No, I think you're like James. He believed it was the height of dishonor to mistrust his friends"
I clenched my teeth and headed outside. I wanted to go somewhere where they couldn't follow- where they couldn't try to talk to me. I didn't want to talk- not now. I rubbed my forehead- it hadn't hurt this much in a long time. Maybe the firewhiskey would set and dull the pain.
As I walked through the threshold, the cool night air swept over me and helped me relax. I crossed the dark yard, the silhouette of a great skeletal theastral looking up at me, rustling its large bat-like wings, and returned to grazing. I stopped by the gate to the garden, staring out at its overgrown plants, and rubbed my forehead, thinking of Dumbledore.
If Dumbledore were here, he would know why my wand had acted on its own accord- he always had the answers. But now, like Mad-eye, Sirius, my parents, Hedwig- he was gone.
Out of nowhere, the slowly numbing pain in my scar peaked. I clutched my forehead and closed my eyes, a voice screaming in my head.
"You told me the problem would be solved by using another's wand!"
"No! I beg you-"
"You lied to Lord Voldemort, Ollivander! You sought to help Potter, to help him escape me!"
"I swear I did not- I believed a different wand would work-"
"Explain, then, why Lucius' wand was destroyed!"
"I can't understand- the connection- it exists only between your wands-"
"Lies!"
"No- please! I beg you—"
"Harry?"
/
Jenny's POV
I closed my eyes and listened to the soft breathing of the theastral, the wind in the trees, animals scuttling through the grass. Goosebumps raced up my arms, bringing about a cold chill that wouldn't fade. I understood her, Hermione, but that didn't shake the feeling of guilt.
As I opened my eyes, I spotted Harry not too far from me. I bet he's feeling quite the same, right now…
As I walked closer, I realized he was clutching his forehead in agony. Something was wrong.
"Harry?"
His eyes opened suddenly, a cool relief overcoming him, still shaking. A moment later, he realized I was there.
"Jenny! Why are you here?"
"Trying to rid myself of the guilt, I suppose," I said, turning to lean on the fence.
"Why would you-"
"Mad-eye's dead because Mundungus disapparated in battle. I should have been there, if I were only a few weeks older-"
"No. It's my fault. Everything- you're all in danger while I'm here. I don't want-"
"But Harry, the whole point of this was to make you safe. If you're thinking of leaving- it would all be in vain!"
"If Voldemort finds out I'm here-"
"Oh, please! There are dozens of places you could be right now, Harry. He won't find out you're here-"
"It's not me I'm worried for!"
We stood in silence for a long time.
"If something does happen, Harry" I spoke carefully, "before I'm of age," I continued, knowing this might start him up again, "I want you to get yourself out. No- let me finish," I said as he tried to argue. "If it comes down to it, I won't be able to come. I've still got the trace on me. That's how all this bloody mess came to happen- why Mad-eye's dead. I can't let you face the same fate"
He didn't respond for some time, and I was beginning to think he'd made up his mind. But that's not what came out of his mouth next.
"Ollivander- I saw him. Voldemort was threatening him, saying he had tricked him. Ollivander had told him that a different wand would solve the problem with being able to kill me, but it hadn't."
"What? Don't tell me you've- Harry, it's supposed to have stopped! Dumbledore wanted you to close your mind!" When he didn't reply, I grabbed his arm, "Harry- he's taken over half the wizarding world! Don't let him inside your head, too!"
/
"Time to wake up, dears," Mrs. Weasley said, kissing me on the forehead. My eyes opened and focused as she made her way to Ginny and Hermione's beds to wake them. I yawned, taking my time to sit up. Today's another day full of guilt over Mad-eye, determined questioning by Mrs. Weasley about our secret quest, and the sinking feeling that something terrible was about to happen.
It had started with Mr. Weasley and Lupin, the questions, but they stopped once we told them that Dumbledore told us not to tell anyone. Mrs. Weasley was the hardest, though, for she thought it was absolutely criminal to abandon our education for something unbeknownst to her.
I dragged my feet to the closet, pulling on a silk button-up shirt that smoothed over my skin like a cool stream over stones smoothed down by the years. I knew I was probably missing breakfast right now, but Hermione didn't seem to care, either, as she stayed behind after Ginny went down.
"I've modified my parents' memories so they're convinced their names are Wendell and Monica Wilkins, their life's ambition is to travel to Australia, and the thought of children has never even crossed their mind"
"What?" I asked as I turned around.
"It'll make it more difficult for Voldemort to track them down and interrogate them about us because, unfortunately, I've told them quite a bit about you and Harry."
Her eyes were already swimming with tears before I had a chance to hug her, but she nodded, assuring me that she was alright. "We've got to head down to breakfast. Can't leave the boys alone down there for too long, can we?"
"No, I suppose not," I said as we turned to head for the kitchen, "Hermione… if something happens before I'm of age, I want you to promise me you'll get Harry out of here"
"Let's hope it doesn't come to that," she said in agreement, "I promise I'll do whatever it takes, Jenny. Have you said anything to him?"
"Yes… but I feel as if I've only made him more determined to fight it, if it were to happen"