Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto…
Warnings: drug use. Self harm! More boy love… ohh isn't the sexual tension over whelming.
*Edit* HAS BEEN FIXED
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Chapter 4: Snap.
"Yeah ok." said Kiba. Gaara didn't notice that Kiba was running his fingers through his hair.
"Come on, class is about to be over, well in 10mins. I'm sure we can go to lunch early…" Kiba said pulling Gaara up.
"Ok." Gaara was in such a good mood, he noticed a blush that was on Kiba's face but wasn't sure whether it was the drugs. Slowly they walked from the oval and to the canteen.
"This is where we sit, do you have any lunch or are you buying?"
"Mm I dunno, I'm not really hungry."
"Ha! I'm not taking that for an answer." Said Kiba grabbing Gaara's hand. "I'll buy you something."
Gaara couldn't help but notice how, amazing Kiba was and their hands were connected. Gaara squeezed it a little, smiling down at it. It felt like there hands were tying them together. 'This drug is amazing.' He thought to himself.
"Here," said Kiba not untying their hands from one another. "There's sushi, sandwiches, or hot food. Rice balls? What do you feel like…?"
"Umm sushi, the fish."
Kiba bought the food for them both, Gaara noticed Kiba had a rather large meal of rice balls, a bento box and some raw fish. Gaara was pleased that their hands were still untied, although they got some odd looks from the staff in the canteen, there was no one out as early as them. Slowly Kiba lead him back to their table, and their hands unwound.
"There that wasn't too bad was It." Said Kiba rubbing his hand, "I could have sworn you were going to crush my hand. You were that scared."
'Damit.'
Suddenly classes were out and the canteen was ablaze, Gaara noticed people walking in a wide circle around him, there was a group to the right staring and talking. He heard words like 'love' 'rape' 'drugs' and 'red head' pop up in conversations. They were talking about him, the whole school was talking. 'Fuck. I have to get out of here.' Someone sat down next to him as he put his head in his hands.
"I don't want to be here, I don't want to be here." He said under his breath.
"It's ok Gaara everyone talks about the new guy. Plus you're a sand ninja they want to see what you can do." Gaara looked up and saw that it was Neji talking to him. "Stay here, with me and Kiba. We don't want you to leave."
"Hi guys!" Came a loud voice. Gaara saw that the table somehow had filled up with people; there were some girls but mostly boys.
Gaara noticed Shika who smiled and sat down next to him, and returned to looking for the source of the loud voice, and found it standing on a table. A boy with blonde hair and blue eyes was walking on the table and stopped in front of Gaara.
"Hello! My name is Naruto! It's nice to meet you Gaara of the sand!"
"Um.. Hi." Said Gaara hating the attention.
"Don't mind Naruto," said Shika, "he is always like that, you get used to it, it's a drag cause he craves attention. Anyways i'll introduce you to everyone. That's Choji, Sakura is there, and then that's Shino and Hinata. She's Neji's cousin, you can tell by the eyes. And then that's Ino the girl with the blonde hair. Then the grump there is Sasuke, and Tenten and Lee are coming from gym over there, and that's everyone."
Gaara nodded, he felt overwhelmed. He stiffened as the blond Naruto came and sat on the table in front of him. Gaara looked up, with a sigh.
"Yes?" He said.
"HI! IM NARUTO!"
"Yes you said that."
"I know, I was just wondering…"
"Yes?"
"If you wanted the rest of your sushi"
"Naruto!" Said Kiba, "Don't take his sushi."
"That's fine have It." Said Gaara who just wanted the blonde to leave.
"WOW THANKS GAARA!" Said Naruto as he bounded off.
Gaara was sick of this he started to pack his bag slowly.
"What are you doing?" said Neji, Gaara noticed that he and Kiba were watching him.
"I'm going home, I cant deal with this place."
"NOOOO DON'T LEAVE!" shouted Naruto, "I haven't invited you to my party this weekend!"
"That's ok, I'm not going anyway." Said Gaara getting up.
"You have to come." Said Naruto appearing in front of him, his happy demeanour had turned serious. "I want you to come."
"It's fine. You wouldn't want me there anyway." Said Gaara walking away.
"Leave him alone Naruto."" Gaara saw the Sasuke boy say.
"No, don't walk away from me." Naruto had a very serious tone to his voice and Gaara noticed people gathering. He could hear Neji, Kiba and Shika trying to pull Naruto back.
"Shadow clone jutsu!" Gaara heard Naruto cry, all of a sudden 7 Naruto's appeared in front of him. "You're not going anywhere Come back and I want to tell you the details about my party!" They said in unison. Gaara noted that it wasn't really an option, and that each clone held a kunai.
"Move." Said Gaara.
"Make us."
"No." Said Gaara walking around them
"Stay." They said.
"No"
"Then we will make you!" Each of the Naruto's threw a Kunai at Gaara which were immediately blocked by sand that automatically came up to shield Gaara.
Woah! Gaara heard people say, the whole courtyard was rippling with excitement, they had just seen the power of the sand ninja, he had blocked Naruto's attack without moving. The Naruto's attacked again throwing more kunai. Garra blocked them and wiped out the Naruto clones with a swipe of sand. Gaara then turned on Naruto with a pissed of look on his face.
"Let me leave." He hissed.
"No. I want you to stay." Gaara sighed; this boy was more trouble than he was worth.
He watched as Naruto made more clones that stood at ready, Gaara looked around. He was pissed off. He felt the drugs happiness being over taken by the voice of the demon wanting him to kill this blonde. Either side of him the sand whirled around to protect his body. He looked ahead at the blonde with a murderous look in his eyes.
"I will break you." Garra hissed.
"Alright break it up!" Came the voice of their gym teacher Guy. "Any one that wishes to fight will have to fight the beautiful me first. Any volunteers?" The people watching in the court yard quickly dispersed, leaving Naruto and Gaara watching each other. Slowly he saw Naruto shrug and his clones go out with a little pop! Gaara swayed on the spot and allowed the sand to return to its place on the ground.
Kiba walked over to Gaara.
"Come on." He said grabbing Gaara's hand. "Come sit down again, you can have some of my lunch, I brought too much anyway. Gaara sit." Gaara allowed himself to be pushed back on his seat. Naruto sat down next to him pushing Shika off the seat.
"You're really powerful aren't you?" He said. "I'm going to become the 6th Hokage, that's my dream… So are you going to come to my party this weekend?"
"You should, it will be fun." Said Neji.
"Yeah we have alcohol and a dj, some pretty ladies. We can play games and shit. You will enjoy yourself."
"Can we play truth or dare, and I never! I love those games." Said the pink haired girl.
"Yeah Sakura, we will play everything! Bring some drinks if you want, we can never have too much!"
"Mm ok, I'll go." Said Gaara, which seemed to make a lot of people very happy.
The rest of the day went fast. Gaara had a free period last so he went home early and found a note from Temari and Kankuro on the door. It read:
Gaara! Welcome home, I hope your day was good. Me and Kankuro have gone on a mission, it seems a squad needed our expertise. We will be back on Monday, I want you to stay at a friend's house, but I can't make you do anything, so just be safe.
Love Temari and Kankuro.
Oh by the way that Shika is one sexy boy.
Gaara smiled another day of school over.
Two days passed since Temari and Kankuro had gone on their mission. Gaara had continued to take that white powder to get through the days. He usually came to school late and left early, much to the annoyance of his friends, who he had been avoiding.
Eventually he got to his door, "what a day." He sighed.
He sat at his desk in his room and tried to study but soon fell asleep. After what seemed like 10 minutes but was actually an hour a loud knocking woke him up. Faintly Gaara went down stairs to see who was at the door.
"About time! We must have been knocking for at least a good 10 minutes." Said Neji.
"Sor-sorry I feel asleep."
"It looks like it!" Kiba said laughing. "Your makeup has gone everywhere!"
Behind Neji and Kiba was Shika, Naruto, Tenten and Lee.
He moved and led everyone into the kitchen.
"I'm hungry." He stated to no one in particular.
"Yeah no doubt, we have hardly seen you at lunch." Said Kiba.
"Mmm yeah." Gaara replied.
"So where has your sister and brother gone?" Asked Shika.
"They are on a mission. They will be back on Monday."
"So I guess you can stay with me then." Said Neji.
"Mm I guess so; I kind of want to stay here tonight though." Said Gaara as he started eating anything he could get his hands on. He felt Neji sigh, but he didn't care he just wanted to be alone. The last few days had been stressful and the drug seemed to be taking it toll on his usual mood, although he wasn't a naturally happy person, he seemed to be a lot more depressed than usual.
Eventually everyone left. And Gaara was alone with his thoughts. He lay on his bed. 'I cant be gay can I?" What was the point of even thinking that, when the guy he liked didn't like him back. Neji and Kiba. They were. So. 'Argh! I've been doing my best to avoid them for the last week, why do they have to come here and taunt me with themselves.'
He felt a familiar throb in his pants, he felt so dirty, so what he was gay, it wouldn't matter, they wouldn't like him less would they? What if they did… what if they hated him?
"Argh fuck! They are going to hate me. I bet they like those girl at the table, they are just trying to be nice to me! Ahh fuck." Gaara yelled and got up in a panic, he undressed and grabbed his scissors from his desk and held them to his skin, he felt horrible. He watched half sadistically as he pushed slowly against his stomach and let the blood flow freely. 'they would hate me, if they knew what I am, how I am, how could they not.' He felt the pain of his father, of his life. He walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror, and staggered backwards, the person in the mirror was a daemon. In a frenzy he began to dig at his skin. Over and over the thrust in the scissors cutting his arms and his legs, mirroring his father's movements, in his mind he saw it all again. He looked into the mirror at himself and let out a yelp of pain. Looking down he saw he was bleeding, and badly. He had time to attempt to smash the mirror with his fist before he fainted, and his world turned black.
When he awoke he was in bed. He let out a moan, he was sore.
"Mm I bet your sore. That looks like it hurts." Said a voice.
Gaara's mind was swimming. His vision was wavering. Seeing a worried Neji he let out a sigh.
Another voice, "are you ok? Please be ok..." Gaara turned and saw Kiba and Shika. He looked questionably at them.
"Its 6AM now, but we found you at 12 two nights ago, we have been taking it in turns to watch you..."
"No."
Neji sighed. "Come on Gaara what's the matter with you? We are your friends. We have been worried about you all week, you haven't talked to us, or sat with us.. Don't you like us?"
"No that's not it." He said.
"Well what is it then?" said Kiba his face hovering over Gaara's, "please tell us. We miss you." He whispered. Gaara felt a throb in his pants and turned over moaning.
"I'm going to have a shower." He said.
"Fine," he heard Kiba say.
Gaara looked at the damage he had done to himself.
"Mm fuck..." He had scars everywhere and a boner to top it all off. He got in the shower and turned on the heat, letting the water run on his body, he started to stroke himself, the two men of his dreams were both standing out there. They had both come to his aid. He imagined them fucking him, he was fucking Kiba in the ass, who was moaning in delight, Neji was behind him hugging him, going in and out of him, and was kissing and biting him on the neck as he shoved back inside him, Gaara felt his body shake as he moaned, arching his back he pushed himself deeper into Kiba. He bent double and let out a moan as he came. If only it was real he thought.
The moment of pleasure didn't last long, "I'm disgusting," He said out loud; he started to scrape his skin, getting rid of all the dirt. All the pain and all the scabs, some of which started to bleed freshly again, he scraped it all off. Finding his baggy of white powder he rubbed some into his gums. "No one will ever love me."
He put a towel around his hips and walked out to his dresser. 'I guess i have to go to school.'
"It's Naruto's party tonight… Will you come?" Asked Kiba, the three boys were sitting on his bed watching him carefully.
"Yeah. I guess I will." He replied, while looking through his shelves. He straightened up as he felt a spasm of the drug go through his body.
"Ahh," he let a moan of pleasure slip. Behind him Shika, Kiba and Neji exchanged glances. Suddenly Gaara felt great, he had no need to cover himself up. He hardly noticed the boys behind him, and let his towel drop to the floor exposing his body. He looked into the mirror and brushed his hair. He felt nothing. He grabbed some jocks and red zipper jeans, and slowly put them on. He then put on a green shirt with a picture of cartoon milk and a cartoon cookie holding hands, saying I love you. Over the top of that he put a black parade jacket. He put some eye liner on and took Kankuro's advice and put a sparkly clip in his hair.
He sighed, stretched and turned and looked at his guests. The Shika had his eyes averted. Kiba had a small blush on his face, he got up and went to the toilet, and Neji, Neji was looking directly at him, Gaara stared back absently. Unaware of his large pupils, he said, "Let's go get something to eat?" and turned to move downstairs
"No, what are you doing Gaara?"
"Um, going to get something to eat…"
Neji got up and move across the room to him, Kiba came out of the bathroom and stopped and Shika looked up.
"I don't know what's going on with you Gaara, but I do know, that what you are doing to yourself isn't going to help you."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Gaara replied coolly.
"Cutting yourself. Drinking with that guy, drugs, I know you're on them now, you hardly eat, you look thin, too thin. Please, please let us help you."
"You cant. No one can."
"Gaara... Please." That voice was Kiba's, "I'm really worried about you, we care about you."
"How could you care about someone like me?" Gaara coughed he hadn't meant to say that. There was a silence in the room, all eyes were on him. He grabbed the bag with the powder and left down stairs. Why did they have to be so meddling? Why couldn't they just stay out of it? Down in his kitchen he sat his head in his hands, 'damit where was the good feeling?' He just had a sense of panic and dread. Opening up his powder he took some more out and rubbed it into his gums.
"Mm dam that feels good." He said out loud as it hit. He picked up his school bag and walked to school himself.
Neji and Kiba came in late to their first class. As usual they sat either side of him, yet not saying a word. So what if they hated him, it's about time. He always knew they would hate him eventually, he had never had friends and he never would. As Gaara thought this he couldn't help but feel a sense of loss. The boys that he loved hated him. He couldn't help but feel that his father had gotten his wish, his life was ruined.
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Yay finished. Next chapter is: the party
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