Chapter 1: Fall At Your Feet

"I'm really close tonight,
And I feel like I'm moving inside her.
Lying in the dark,
And I think that I'm beginning to know her.
Let it go.
I'll be there when you call,
And whenever I fall at your feet,
Do you let your tears rain down on me.
Whenever I touch your slow turning pain."

It had been a full month since Alistair had left for Orlais and Ser Gilmore reentering my life. It didn't seem that long to be quite honest. From watching Rory train his knights to going to the Denerim market to see my people, it had been a busy month that's for sure. But there was something that had perplexed me though, the way that Rory made me...weak in the knees, per sey? I remember the feeling from before. It was long before Alistair could even think about entering my life, back when my parents were still alive. Back then I had feelings for Ser Gilmore, very strong feelings at that. Some would say it wasn't love due to my young age but deep within my heart, I knew it was. I remember how I would wish and pray for him to look at me, or to say hello or atleast smile at me. Anything to get his attention. I was too afraid of going to him myself however, I was absolutely terrified of even thinking about it. As fate would have it though, we soon became friends. Even saying the slightest of hellos would send my heart into a pulsing rage. There was just something about him that made me go insane. Over time, we soon became close but nothing ever came of it.

Not one thing.

I didn't complain though, I was just thankful we could be friends rather than nothing. Soon enough though, the day came when Arl Howe betrayed my family and causing me to leave Rory and my feelings behind. Then it was Alistair who soon swept me off of my feet. Things soon melded into one and here I am, the Queen of Ferelden and confused about my feelings for the King and a long lost friend. How could I explain this to anyone? Well for starters, I wasn't going to tell anyone and I was more than sure I wasn't going to cheat on my husband even though he was a lying cheating bastard, quite literally at that. How could I be mad at him if I went and did it myself? Still, I then steered my thoughts away from this and went back to thinking about other things. I couldn't dwell on Alistair forever, it would be utterly pointless. As I wandered about my room, I then heard someone enter. As I turned around I then spotted my young lady-in-waiting Guinevere and took note of the wide smile upon her lips. She walked gracefully in with her long scarlet red hair swaying behind her and the way her bright green eyes held a distant sparkle in them caught my attention. As she neared her smile continuously got bigger and bigger and with her gentle voice, she said to me.

"My queen, the Captain of The Guard wishes to meet you in his room. He says there's something you must see."

"His room, for what?" I questioned as I raised an eyebrow. She suddenly laughed and it sounded as if bells were being chimed. As soon as she was done laughing at me, Guinevere then whispered.

"My queen, he says it urgent and not to keep him waiting."

"He didn't say for what, did he?" I then stated with a small smile.

"No my queen, but he wants you to hurry." She replied and then hurried for the door. With a pale hand, I picked up my dark crimson skirt so I could get there faster. I brushed my ebony bangs out of my eyes and nodded towards Guinevere as I said thank you. She only answered with a small laugh as she shut the door behind me. More thoughts then plagued my mind, what could he possibly want to show me?

Not too long after, I had found myself standing at his door as I patiently waited for him to let me in. It was deserted in the hallway and I found it slightly strange but I didn't care enough to do something about it. However, I then heard the door opening and him letting me in. He looked at me with his spring green eyes as he shut the door behind me and my heart then began to pick up its pace. I prayed he couldn't hear it for it would just make everything worse. At first, we didn't say anything to each-other but simply stare. My heart then began to race faster and faster, I had to look away or start a conversation. Anything would be better than a staring contest. My eyes then shifted towards the ground as I questioned him quietly.

"So Rory, what exactly was so urgent? My lady-in-waiting stated you wanted to show me something?"

"Well, it's not that I wanted to show you something but more or less, I wanted you to sing for me." He answered quite suddenly. I then looked back up towards him and stared at him blankly. Did he just say he wanted me to sing for him? The next thing I felt was sadness. Singing just...wasn't me anymore. That was from my childhood and quite clearly, I wasn't a child anymore. As I shook my head I began to protest.

"No Roland, I don't sing anymore. I told you that."

"For me?" He begged and I simply rolled my eyes. There was no way he was going to get me to sing. That was in the past, I simply didn't sing anymore. There was another few moments silence as I turned away from him. I couldn't stand to look at him as I denied him this. Then my ears picked up the sound of him shuffling towards me. He stood only a few inches behind me for I could feel his warm breath upon my neck as I heard him speak gently.

"You know how much I love it when you sing. It brings back fond memories of our childhood and when we first met..."

"Please, don't speak of this." I quietly pleaded. I feared the thought of thinking about my parents again. That was a part of me that I had succeeded in suppressing and I simply didn't feel like bringing them up. All those years I wanted to rebel from my parents. Scaring off suitors and disappointing my mother, saddening my father when I expressed my wishes to join Duncan and the Gray wardens. Quite suddenly, I felt my heart begin to sink from my chest down to my stomach. This was beginning to be too much. Was this what Rory wanted, to bring me here and bring up the past? I couldn't take it, I needed to leave. Without being told my feet then shuffled towards the door in hopes I could leave. Before I could actually reach the door however, I felt a warm hand grab onto my cold on and it held me firmly so I couldn't leave. Then quietly the salty waterworks began. Warm, gentle tears then began to fall from my eyes as I began to fall to my knees. This was the first time I had cried in one whole month and I was doing pretty well up until now. However, Rory only held me close as we sat upon the cold ground. Thoughts of my mother and father soon began to plague me. When they died, I didn't cry. I remember telling myself that they were alright and that they would be fine. My mother was no wall flower and she knew how to keep a fight going. She was a marvelous woman who I looked up to and hoped to be like oneday. Even though my father was mortally wounded, he always knew how to turn things around to work in his favor so it was quite possible they could have lived. Though deep down inside of me I knew they weren't going to be alright and it was only confirmed when I went to visit my brother Fergus at Highever. I had denied it for so long that I at times believed that they were fine. I didn't want to cry over their deaths for I knew it would be acceptance of their passing. Fergus simply went his own way of accepting their deaths by sleeping with many different women. Surely he must have had another child by now to replace his little Oren. Again, tears were brought to my eyes as I thought about this.

How could someone let such sweet innocence die?

This was just too much... However, I then felt the gentleness of his hand brush away the wetness. My eyes trailed up towards him and he smiled sweetly at me. He then leaned closer to me and tenderly placed his lips upon my wet cheeks and kissed the tears away. My sore eyes widened and I simply stare at him. He looked at me with his gentle green eyes and then I placed my lips upon his. The tears stopped and my heart raced. For such a long, long time I had wanted to kiss him. His lips were so gentle, so tender, so loving. It was better than those damn rushed things Alistair called kisses. But at this very moment, I simply brushed the thought of Alistair away and thought only of my sweet Ser Gilmore. Roland Gilmore had been my new white knight in shining armor that swept me off my feet in the darkest of times. I hated to admit it but strangely enough, I felt happy for doing this. If Alistair was allowed to cheat, why wasn't I? As soon as it had begun, the kiss ended and he brushed the rest of the tears away. He smiled as I quietly whispered.

"With your grace as inspiration I will strive to be the victor over one who strives as fervently as I. To earn a maiden's favor for the bold young knight before, to see his love reflected in her eyes."

"What a marvelous song accompanied by a beautiful voice." He answered just as quietly. For the first time in a long time a smile had curled my lips and my heart yearned for more. It had been a long time since I had felt this good. Suddenly he had picked me up off the ground and held me close to his chest as we walked over towards the bed. With slow and loving caresses I could feel him slowly un-tieing my bodice and slip the dress of me. With Alistair, this would have been harder than killing a little mouse. Still, I only thought of my Ser Gilmore as we explored places of eachothers body we haven't before. It had been such a long time since I had felt this happy... Too long.