Please. Someone. Review.
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Okay, I'm trying to write a story, and some idiot keeps writing words in some language I can't understand at the top of each chapter. Maybe the translator can fix that up, when this gets released to the general public...
Oh, right, the characters.
Anyway, the trainee's had just arrived at the obstacle course.
It started out with a small cliff to climb. Then, there were several platforms, suspended above the ground, which needed to be climbed on- although how they were going to do this was a mystery, seeing as the platforms were three metres off the ground- to get to the next obstacle.
After this, there was a wooden plank going across a river.
A shark infested river.
Did I mention the termites?
Finally, there was a running course, littered with obstacles that needed to be jumped over, ducked or avoided.
Did I mention the five hunters placed on the field, which they would have to overpower?
Mapmup looked at the trainee's.
"Go already." He commanded. They obeyed.
As you can imagine, Athena and Rotiart- being ten years old and overweight- were doing terrible with the climbing. By the time they were halfway up, Taylor the swift and James of the two artificial limbs were at the top.
Virula had stopped halfway through, due to his paralysing fear of heights. Go figure.
"Virula, do you require assistance?" Asked Athena.
"No. I just... need to..."
Mapmup looked at them, annoyed.
"Did I mention that this place is set to explode in ten minutes?" He asked.
That got them moving.
By this time, Taylor had got past the platform, while James was silently fighting a hunter on top of the cliff.
Wait, silently? That's not right. I've known James for years, and he never. Shuts. Up.
Taylor must've terrified him earlier. Remind me to thank her later.
Anyway, once Virula, Athena and Rotiart finally made it to the top- seriously, what's so hard about that climb? I did it in about thirty seconds! - Rotiart just grabbed the platform and climbed up. He was, after all, at least two-and-a-half metres tall, and had long arms. Athena, being smaller than this, couldn't reach the platform, and Virula almost pulled himself up, but slipped and fell.
Yeah. Obviously, he sucks. Remind me how he's the hero again?
Oh. Right. Anyway...
Progress report: Taylor was fighting a Hunter near the river. She was getting her ass kicked.
James had been shoved into the river by Rotiart, who was determined to finish first.
Rotiart was fighting a Hunter on the wooden plank across the river.
Virula was boosting Athena onto the platform. Seriously, ten year olds make great manipulators. One 'please' and one look could grant them control of a planet.
...Not that I know how to do that.
Of course, Athena was wise enough to know that Virula would only do this if he got something out of it. So once she was up, she helped him up.
Hey, what do you know, they make a good team.
By this stage, the termites had eaten most of the plank. James had just cheated and swam across the river. Turns out, just because you have sharks, doesn't mean they'll eat humans.
Rotiart was still getting his ass kicked, until Virula knocked the Hunter into the river. Being the gracious person he is, Rotiart then shoved Virula in the river.
The more I hear about him, the less I regret what happened last summer.
Taylor was an absolute machine on the obstacle course. The Hunter she had beaten earlier ended up falling into the river.
Athena was about halfway through the river when her glasses fell off.
Yeah, see, the universe of fandom operates on lots of fun little bonus laws of physics that you don't have to worry about. Rule of Cool, the awesome thing will always happen. Rule of Funny, the funny thing will always happen. Most importantly, Murphy's Law. If there is anything that can go wrong, it will go wrong, at the worst possible time.
Actually, you should take steps to prevent that last one in your world, too. [This helpful tip has been brought to you be The Girl with many Names]
I know what you're thinking right now: What has an obstacle course got to do with Sue hunting? Well, knowing how to do an obstacle course can save your life from a soon-to-be-Mary Sue.
Well, Taylor finished the course first, with three minutes to spare. James followed shortly afterwards.
Rotiart was struggling on the last leg of the course. He had been slowed from a mildly fast jog to a figurative crawl.
Virula was leading Athena to the exit. Seriously, for someone so smart, you'd think she'd know to get a little something called "Contact lenses." Unfortunately, the Idiot Ball is also a law of fandom physics.
Anyway, this caused problems: Athena was meant to beat the crap out of a Hunter before leaving. The now half-blind Athena. Virula didn't have to worry; he had technically beaten the Hunter by the river that was curb-stomping Rotiart.
By this stage, Rotiart was beating one of the two remaining Hunters. He may have lucked out on the small area where he had to dodge to avoid sharks, but this place was more open.
Mapmup started following the trainee's on the course, and ended up dunked in the river when the termites finished with the plank of wood.
By this stage, Virula was leading Athena through the obstacle course.
"Left, right, duck, jump, duck, duck, right, left, jump and right, left, duck, left, right, left, left, duck, right-wait, I MEAN LEF-"
Athena thudded into a Hunter. Said Hunter then roared and beat her unconscious.
Whose bright idea was it to let the ten year old attempt to join a dangerous group? Hunter's could kill Spartans; imagine what one could to a ten year old girl.
Of course, this pissed off Virula, who proceeded to show surprising skill in making the Hunter run into obstacles. The Hunter roared at him.
"Yeah, fuck you too, asshole." Muttered Virula.
Rotiart, having beaten his Hunter, was running away as fast as possible. Coward. Taylor was yelling at Mapmup- who had made it around the course, to the door they were about to go through- about getting some medics for Athena, who was:
A] Bleeding
B] Unconscious, and
C] Half-dead.
Seriously, Athena got off pretty easy.
James, on the other hand, was already pissed off, and had stolen Mapmup's pistol to deal with the Hunter. Despite the 'No-killing' rule.
Yeah, who gives a fuck.
Once James had the rampaging Hunters attention, Virula started ripping some of the small orange worm thingy's out of its back. Once it turned to deal with him, James shot it. This repeated, until the Hunter had been successfully slaughtered.
Virula instantly went to make sure Athena was okay. James turned to yell at Mapmup. Taylor came out of a door with a flamethrower. No-one could later say where she got that flamethrower from, but she was a little disappointed she couldn't use it.
Of course, the test's had to continue. So, while Mapmup got demoted and an Elite carried Athena into the hospital area, the other four had followed a different Elite- my good friend Silva Jamak- lead Virula, Taylor, James and Rotiart into the next room.
Just so you don't worry, Athena recovers, and is given a job designing new anti-Sue weapons.
Also, does anyone notice the little thing down the bottom? It looks authorese. Maybe one of your fanfiction authors is writing the message, and posting my work on your site. If so, I might just introduce them to my MAC cannon.
...
Oh crap, the narrator wants to kill me. But, technically, the C in MAC stands for 'cannon', so the author just repeated herself there.
Anyway: REVIEW!