I woke up curled next to Jake. He was warm and welcoming. His arm was tucked around my back and I smiled to myself. I could hear some of the party guest outside of the door; mulling around, trash bags being shaken open and cans being thrown in them. "Hey Jake it sounds like everyone is getting up, do you know when your parents will be home?"

Jake softly stirred but not get up. I shook him softly trying to wake him. I did not want to get caught in his bed by his parents. Most parents are NOT ok with those kinds of things.

"Morning," he whispered and leaned over and giving my head a soft kiss.

"Morning. When are the parents due home?"

"Um, around 10 I think."

I slowly sat up and saw that it was a normal hazy day outside. I don't know why I why I was surprised, but I was secretly hoping for some sun again. I guess it would be awhile before that happens again.

I felt Jake's arm snake around me and I was pulled back down to the bed. I let out a soft giggle as Jake leaned over and he was half on top of me. I was able to look into his eyes for a brief moment before his lips captured mine.

He was not soft like last night but forceful and determined. I closed my eyes and kissed him back with the same force. I wanted this. I wanted to feel for him, he was what I wanted, what I needed in a partner.

Jake slowly opened his mouth and slid his tongue into my mouth. I was more than willing to open my mouth. Jake immediately started to get more forceful and I felt his right hand roam over my body.

This is the type of thing most girls dreamed of; it is something that I would normally love, but something was wrong. It didn't feel right. I did not get the butterflies in my stomach or the light headed feeling you get when kissing with passion.

Before I was able to do anything else Jake pulled back and I opened my eyes. We both seemed to be searching for the same thing in the other one. It looked like he was having the same mental balance I was. He wanted this too but it wasn't feeling how it should. It was missing what was needed at the start, the spark that lights the fire.

"I want this…" he started. I put my finger up to his lips to silence him.

"You don't have to. I feel the same way."

He looked down at me. "Really?"

"Jake we should not have to 'work' at something like this, especially at the start."

He pulled me up so that we were both sitting up and looking at each other, "So now what?"

I smiled, "I am hungry, how about breakfast?"

"Sounds perfect Bells," Jake said with a large smile and kissed my forehead.

I think Jake and I are meant to be amazing friends. He is the type of person you can hang out for hours with, eat double your weight in food and he would not judge you. He is the guy who comes to pick you up when your car breaks down and gives you a lift home. He is also the person you drop everything to go and help because he would do the same for you.

I got out of bed and collected my clothes. I walked down the hallway and went into the bathroom. I looked in the mirror at how disheveled I looked. I ran my fingers though my hair and pulled it back in a ponytail. I got changed back into my work clothes and left the bathroom. I knocked on Jake's door to make sure that he was dressed.

"Come on in," he called.

I opened the door and saw a shirtless Jacob. My mouth dropped a little bit because he looked AMAZING! Again I wished we had some kind of chemistry. I cleared my throat to let him know I was in there. He gave me a goofy grin and then pulled a shirt over his head.

"OK, time to eat. There is a really good diner if you wanna sit down."

"Sure that sounds great."

Jake took my hand like last night and lead me though the house. I was glad that things did not get weird between us. I did not want to lose him. He was the only REAL friend I had ever made. You could tell that the people had a blast last night. The house was trashed but people where awake and cleaning up.

We got in Jake's car and off we were. He took me to a very small diner that was right off of Main Street back in Forks. It was a sweet little place that looked like a log cabin. They had a very limited menu, so it did not take us long to decide on what to eat. The place was a bit busy so we got to chat for a while. We talked about some of the kids we went to school with and then all kinds of random stuff. Jake was the perfect person to spend your morning with.

Once we were done our eggs and bacon it was time for me to head home. Jake had things he needed to get done at home. Once we pulled up to my apartment I saw Renee's car and I knew it was going to be a fun day.

"Thank you for letting me stay over." I told Jake, mentally preparing.

"No problem Bells, whenever you need a place to crash my room is open."

"Thank you again, hopefully I won't have to put you out too much."

"You could never put me out." Jake said while leaning in and kissing my forehead.

I climbed out of the car and told Jake, "I will text you later."

I went up the stairs knowing that I was going to be having a huge blow out with my mom. I was still not in the mood to do it, but I guess it had to be done. She made herself perfectly clear about my "dating" Jake.

I guess it did not really matter right now because of what was going on with Jake, or not in our case. I had no idea how we were going to proceed from here. I guess I will let Jake take the lead and we will move on from there.

I paused for a moment at my front door. I took a deep breath and mentally readied myself for battle. I door softly creaked as I opened it. I was surprised to see Renee not only awake but sitting on our tiny couch. She also had a large plastic bin sitting on the coffee table.

"Hi…" I said feeling her out.

"Good Morning Bella. I wanted to have a heart to heart with you this morning."

"Is this a trap?" I asked looking around. I am not sure what I was looking for but it didn't seem right.

"No Bella, not a trap. I just want to talk to you about something."

"If this is about Jake can we please not make this a huge deal, I don't even know…"

"No Bella it is not about the Indian boy, please can you just sit down," Renee said motioning to the couch.

I looked at her though half shut eyes, something was up, and I just did not know what it was yet. Once I was sitting Renee let out a huge sigh. I could not remember the last time we had sat down together on the couch.

"So I don't know how I am going to explain all of this, so I may be jumping around but please bear with me, OK Bella?"

"Um sure…" I pulled my legs up under me and sat there waiting for my mom to talk.

"So…Do you remember what it was like when Gran was alive? How we lived with her and I was a mostly normal mom?"

She was not lying. I do have some faint memories of living with my grandmother in Nevada in a small two bedroom house. Gran lived with us, while Renee worked Gran would watch me. Renee had a normal 9-5 job and then would some nights at a club in Vegas, no hooking yet.

"Very little." I was around 5 or 6 when she died.

"Well your Gran loved you very much, and she knew your dad…"

There was a bomb. We were going to have the dad conversation. Why today? Why now? My stomach immediately dropped and I felt my face flush.

"Why are we doing this now Mom?" I asked.

"I met him one night while I was working." She ignored my question. "I was bartending in Caesar's at the time. He was there with a bunch of guys. They were normal young men out looking for a good time. He was so handsome. He had these deep brown eyes and dark hair. We flirted for a long time. He waited until I was done my shift, we got trashed, and then married. I know real original…"

That sounded like something my mother would do. She was a unique soul. It also sounded really nice. I tried to picture my mother being 18 and silly in love.

"Anyway we figured why not see where it leads. He moved here, got a job working security at the same casino, and we made a real go at it. I found out that I was pregnant a few weeks later." Renee said looking off at nothing. You could tell she was thinking about the moment she was pregnant with me. I wonder how it must have felt. Being so young, marrying a man you don't know, then finding out you are carrying his child inside of you.

"He was super excited when I told him about you, he went out and bought you a little pink onesie," she was with a huge smile and opening up the tub. She pulled out the outfit. "He always knew you would be a little girl."

She handed me the outfit and I looked at it. It was something that I had never need in any of our moves. It seemed so weird to know that she hid something this big from me. I had no idea she had any of this.

I did smile when Renee smiled. You could tell that she cherished all of these memories. It seemed like it has been so long since I had seen her smile like this. I saw her eyes light up.

"He went out and bought us a small house, the one we lived in with Gran. Things were really good, but I always waiting for something to go wrong, like the other shoe was going to drop. I knew that things could not be good for too long.

"Right after your first birthday his parents go sick and he had to go home to help them. He begged me to go with him, we spent days fighting about it. He tried to use every argument with me, but I wouldn't budge. It would all be too real at that point, so I told him no. After a few months I filed for divorce and that was the end."

He voice trailed off at the end. You could hear her regret. She must have known I was a mistake. She must have really loved him. In her defence it is a lot to ask a women to leave everything she knows for a man she hardly knows; but my dad had done it for her.

"He always wanted to be a part of your life Bella. He always called and asked about you. He would send cards and letters. I didn't want him to be a part of our life, so I would not respond, hoping he would just leave us alone. I hated that he left us, no matter what the reason way, if it was rational or not.

"The problem was Gran never stopped. She would call him and give him updates about you, send him letters and pictures of you. When Gran passed away I was not able to take care of the house and everything by myself. Also I could not stay in that house anymore. I had all of the memories of your father and Gran. So I sold the house to one of the women I worked with in the bar. She had just gotten married. Your dad kept on sending his cards and letters. I asked her to keep them all for me. Go ahead and look inside."

I stood up and looked in the container. It was full of cards and letters. You could tell some of them had been new and some of them had been older. I grabbed a handful of the letters and just looked at them. I had so many different emotions I could not focus on one of them.

That was when I noticed something. I looked at the postage stamp from the post office. The town name stuck out like a giant neon light. I looked up at Renee. "What is my father's name?"

"Bella…"

"What is his name?!" I asked getting angry. That sneaky bitch knew what she was doing all along.

"Charlie…Chief Charlie Swan," she barely whispered.

"You knew!" I yelled at her.

"No I swear when we moved I had no idea!" she stood up.

"Why did we come here? Why would you want to drudge all this up. I was fine not knowing any of this! WE MOVED ACROSS THE COUNTRY YOU KNEW!"

"No Bella please I swear I did not know. I never opened up this tub so I never looked at the letters. They were all just a bad memory. Plus you picked the town! I have never looked at any of these letters. Please Bella do not be upset!"

Now it made sense why he kept on popping up. Why Renee was so quite when he brought her home. All of the pieces I had been collecting over the past few days finally fit together. I didn't even know it was a puzzle though.

I was mad, no I was worse than mad. I had no words to describe how I felt. "Why did you let him go?" I assumed.

"I was scared Bella, I had never experienced what I did with your father. I was young and was not ready to be an adult. I was bearly 18 and he was 21. We were both babies!"

"YOU ARE STILL A BABY! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH DIFFERENT OUR LIVES WOULD HAVE BEEN…HOW MUCH BETER MY LIFE WOULD HAD BEEN!"

"Bella please we need to talk…"

"No Renee you talked enough. I can't do this. I cannot process this information. I might have been able to deal with the fact that you had this box of letters, but Charlie is a good man.

"Every fucking person in this town talks about him highly. We could have had a good life! I could have been a kid, you didn't have to strip and be a whore. Our lives could have been nice. Even if things did not work with the two of you we could have had something here!"

"Don't you think I know this Bella?! Don't you think I have fantasized about how different our lives could have been if I had not been so stubborn? I knew then he was a good man I just didn't know how hard it would be alone."

I looked at her and just walked out the door. I could not focus on her. I had to be alone. I didn't not want to fight or even talk at this moment. I needed to be alone. I slammed the door and walked down the steps. Then I noticed that I still had some of the letters and cards in my hand. I stuffed them into my purse and pulled out a cigarette. I was not in the mood to tell myself that I needed to quite.

I took a long drag and then noticed that I had no idea where I was going to go. I did not know where I could be alone in this town. Back in New York you could go into any park and for the most part me alone. You would sometimes get someone trying to get money but other than that you were completely alone in a busy park.

I headed forward into the woods. It was not raining but it was overcast. Thankfully it was warmer then it normally was. I walked along a thin path for a long time. I did not know where I was going or what I wanted but I was getting tiered.

After a few more feet I came across what looked like a make shift park. It had two swings that looked like someone set up themselves. There was also what looked like a store bought tree house, and a slide.

You could tell that the place had not been used in years. I went into the tiny tree house after cleaning it out and sat there for a moment and looked out into the woods for a moment. I wanted to be so mad at Renee and I was, but I also feel like I understood her side as well.

I don't know what I would have done myself if I was in her shoes. I want to say that I would have followed the man, the father of my child, but I may not have. I was a lot like my mother and we were both very stubborn, hence all of the fighting all of the time.

This must have been why she was always trying to keep tabs on me. She did not want me to accidentally find out the truth before she could tell me herself. I am happy that she did eventually tell me. I would have hated to find out from someone else.

Then I remembered that I had the letters. I put my bag on my lap and pulled out the letters. I held them in my hands and just looked at them for a moment. I didn't know if I should open them. Was it right? They had been waiting all these years to have someone read them. Also I wanted to know what he had to say.

Which one was I to read first? It looked like two cards and a letter. I guess the cards would be the best place to start. They would probably be nice and generic. I picked the one that was dated back the farthest.

I tried to rip it as gently as possible but I basically destroyed the envelope. The front of the card had a little pink bear on it with the number 3; must be a birthday card. I opened the card and something fell out. It was a 50$ bill. I held onto the bill and read the card.

To my dearest little girl. Daddy is very sorry that he could not be there with you today but he is away fighting crime. I hope that one day soon we can be together again. Remember that I think about you every day and I love you so much. Have some cake for me. Love Daddy

Well that was heartbreaking. I felt the tears in my eyes forming. I tucked the money back in the card and did my best to put it back into the envelope. I did a better job at opening the next card. This card had a cartoon of Santa on it and said MERRY CHRISTMAS at the top. I opened the card and another 50$ bill fell out.

Merry Christmas my dearest little girl. I talked to Santa the other day and he told me what a good girl you have been this year. He said that you are at the top of his list. Your Gran also told me this year that you learned how to count to 100. You are getting so smart! I hope that next year we can be together for the holiday, Gran seems to think we can. Have a Merry Christmas, I love you more than anything. Love Dad.

I looked at the date on the envelope and it was from the year before Gran died. She must have been talking to Renee about us meeting. I was full on crying now. This man who did not know me at all was writing all these sweet things to a little girl who had no idea he was alive.

How hard everything must have been for him. What it must be like to spend something like Christmas alone when you know that you have a little girl out there. Thinking about what it must be like to see her face light up on Christmas morning. I cried harder. I tucked the money and the card back in the envelope.

I held the letter in my hand. The sampled date was a few days before my 16th birthday. I though back to my 16th birthday, Renee worked all day and I got a card from her 3 days later, and James was just starting to enter my life. How different things were just two years ago.

Dear Isabella. I hope you get this on your birthday. Today is a big day in your life. You turn 16 and go from being a little girl to a women. I wish that I could be there with you today. I am so sorry that I have missed all of these years in your life and I hope that one day I can try to make it up to you.

I think of you every day and I wish I knew what you were doing and how your life was. One day I will make this up to you and I want you to know my side of the story. I do think of you every day and the pictures I have of you are what keeps me going.

I know deep down that you have become a wonderful women and have a good head on your shoulders. Please enjoy your day and take care of yourself. As always I love you more than anything Dad.

Reading that letter I officially lost it. I started to sob. This man does not know me and loves me. You can tell how much he cares in what he writes. You can see the hesitation in the writing and scratch marks when he needs to change something. I wish that I had been able to have some kind of contact with him. I wish that I was truly deserving of his love. There is no reason for this man to love me as much as he states he does.

I was going to have to face him tomorrow. That was I to say? Should I tell him I know? I looked down at the 200$ in the letter, should I be giving him all of this money back? If he tells me he loves me do I say it back? Am I obligated to love him?

I started to cry even harder, I needed another cigarette. I pulled it out of my bag along with my lighter. I took a nice long pull to try and calm my nerves. I took another pull and closed my eyes and let the soft mist that was starting fall from the sky fall on my face as I exhaled.

"You know those things will kill you!" a familiar velvet voice said from behind me.

I shot up and turned around to see Edward behind me, "Are you kidding me! Does everyone in this freaking town have a problem with smokers?"

He actually smiled. "Am I not the first person to tell you that?"

"No it seems to be a familiar pick up line," I said while whipping my eyes.

"Are you OK?" he asked walking closer.

"Yeah I am fine," I said getting annoyed.

Edward climbed into the tiny play house with me. "Listen I can tell you have been crying your eyes are super red."

"Listen I can't really deal with you right now, I have enough on my plate for today."

"I promise not to be a dick, give a smoke and talk," he said holding out his hand.

"I though these things will kill you?" I joked and handed him my pack.

"Well we are all going to die at some point, right?" He said lighting up. "So the Black kid being a jerk?"

I rolled my eyes, "No Jake is great, it's something personal."

"Like with our mom?" Edward asked. We were both sitting in there looking at each other. Both of our legs stretched out in front of us, touching.

"Ehhh, yes and no…"

"Listen Bella I cannot help you unless you talk to me."

Instead of answering I hand Edward the letter that was still in my hand. It took him a moment to look over it, then it seemed like it clicked. "Did you move here to meet him?"

"Nope, my mom forgot he lived here. She just told me today who he was."

"Oh shit…that is crazy. I had heard before that Chief Swan had a kid but I thought it was a boy."

"I am pretty sure I am not a boy," I joked with a smile.

"Yeah if you were a boy I would have to start to question myself," Edward said with a smile.

"Is that so?" I asked nudging his leg with mine.

"Oh please Bella, you know about half of the school is in love with you."

"Nope, I am just the new girl, everyone is just looking because I am shinny and new. I will be old news by tomorrow," I said with a huff.

"Whatever helps you sleep. So what do you plan on doing about Chief Swan?"

"Well I already agreed to meet him tomorrow, so I guess we will have to talk."

"Do you want to?" he asked with real emotion in his voice.

"I don't know what I want. I have had a crazy 24 hours and am kind of off my game."

Edward nodded and finished his cigarette. "I gotta head back home. My house is right around the corner there, if you want we can walk back to my place and I can give you a lift home…"

"You don't have to do that," I told him feeling weird all of a sudden. It seemed like while we sat here and talked it was OK but taking this out of the little park would be weird.

"Please let me Bella. It is starting to really rain now."

I looked outside of the tiny building and say it was starting to go from a mist to a drizzle. I was not dressed for the rain. "I guess if you don't mind."

Edward smiled for a moment and then went back to his normal stern face. "OK let's get moving before it gets worse."

I nodded and climbed out of the house. I didn't have a hood or a jacket on so I tried to cover myself with my shirt.

"Here," Edward said putting his jacket around me.

I pulled the hood up and sheepishly said, "Thanks. I will give it back to you as soon as we get in the car. I don't want to upset Tanya."

"Yeah well she is chronically upset so don't worry about it. Plus it looks pretty good on you."

I looked down at the plain black jacket. I must look like a drown rat, who had now showered in over 24 hours. When he wasn't looking I pulled the jacket closer to me and took a quick sniff. It smelled exactly like he did.

I only took us a few minutes to get to his house. I had no idea how huge his house was. It was super modern with all windows as a whole side of the house. We didn't go inside just walked out the woods and over to Edward's silver Volvo.

I quickly made my way over to the passenger side door. Edward was quicker and already had his hand on the handle and was opening the door for me. "You don't have to do that for me," I said uncomfortably and felt my face redden.

"Yes I do, it is how I was raised," he said smoothly holding the door for me.

I got into the seat and sat there for a moment waiting for Edward to get in the car. Why am I doing this? I should have just walked home. I should not be sitting in his car right now.

"So Bella where do you live?" Edward asked as he got in.

"Um, over at the apartments."

"OK sounds good," Edward put the car into drive and we pulled out of the drive way.

I didn't say anything while in the car. I didn't know what to say to him. This was really weird and I felt out of place. You could tell Edward kinda felt the same way because he was also very quiet and a bit ridged.

"So Bella do you like it here?"

"In Forks?"

"Yeah, I guess it's a lot different than New York."

"Yes I is the exact opposite of what I am use to. We always lived in a big city, this is the first time we had ever lived in a smaller town."

"So why did you?"

"Renee got a job in a smaller town. So we decided to try something different. It has been really weird."

"I bet, I guess it would be the same if I had moved to a big city. Must be a real culture shock."

"It really is, but it is nice to be in a smaller town. My last high school there were so many kids I don't think I can even name half of the kids in my grade."

Edward laughed at that one, a lot. I guess I told a joke, "I can't even think about what it would feel like to not know everyone I go to schools with. I have basically grown up with everyone at school."

"Now to me that seems like a really weird situation."

We got quite again after that but it was good timing because we had just pulled into the apartments. I did not see Renee's car so she must have left for work already. It was after 4 so it made sense.

"So I guess I will see you are school tomorrow?" I said trying to escape the car as quickly as possible.

"Yeah I will be there…" Edward said with his voice trailing off.

I opened the door and started to take his jacket off. "Keep it," he said while touching my hand to stop me from taking it off.

"I have my own jacket," I told him and tried to remove it again.

"Please just keep it, it's too small for me anyway," he stated. I looked into his eyes and saw him begging me to keep it.

"OK, but if you ever want it back tell me and it's yours."

"Thank you Bella."

I nodded like a nonverbal weirdo that I was at that moment and opened up the door. I ran though the now pouring rain to the steps for my apartment. Once I got to the door I unlocked it and looked back. Edward's silver Volvo was still sitting there. I gave him a quick wave and went inside. I locked the door and smiled at myself.

Today was a very VERY weird day. The only thing I could really process at this moment was everything Renee had told me. I looked in the living room and did not see the container that was in there before.

I opened up my bedroom door and the container was sitting on my bed with a note. I walked over and looked at the note, it read:

Bella. Again I am so sorry, I don't know what else to say. I will see you when I get home tomorrow.

I had so many things I needed to get done, I could not think about this for now. First thing was a shower. Once that was done I closed the door to me bedroom and get to work. I cleaned the apartment and did two loads of wash while I tried to work on my homework. I did not have a lot to do, but just enough to keep me busy.

When I was done and could not possible stretch out anything else I went back into my room. I opened up the container and started to randomly open the different letters. Each one told a different story about how he was, a declaration of love, and an underlying sadness. There was also money in every envelope.

I sat on my bed and cried the whole time while reading them. This poor man. Renee had put him through absolute hell, keeping him away from his daughter. Not just keeping me away from him but basically cut all contact. He was a good man who just wanted to know his daughter.

I wanted him to get to know me, and I wanted to know him. When I saw him tomorrow I would talk to him and try to build something with him. I may not be able to call him Dad but I could defiantly do something to make him apart of my life.

I also needed to return all of this money. I did not deserve it. It felt wrong to keep it all. I collected all of the letters and put them back in the container to read over and over again when I needed to feel like someone cared. I also put all of the cash into a plain white envelope and shoved it deep in my bag. It would be returned tomorrow.

I finally climbed into bed right before midnight. It did not take long for sleep to come. I was much too tired to worry about anything else that happened today. Before I did fall asleep I thought about my brief time with Edward today, and smiled to myself.