Disclaimer: Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters = Kazuki Takahashi

Summary: "The lives you and I will never live in five steps." Yugi's thoughts in his final moments with Atem.

5 Steps

The footsteps in this place are pretty loud.

Even so, I still hear the last decibels of my own voice bouncing off the stone walls. On top of that, it seems like the afterlife is a noisy place. Also, it's really windy – if I had to guess what heaven was like, I wouldn't have compared it to a mountain top, but I might have to change my opinion.

You're on the threshold of heaven. I want to know what it looks like on the other side, but the light coming through the door is blinding and it almost hurts to look directly into it, like trying to stare at the sun. Can you see what's on the other side? Somehow this doesn't seem like the right time to ask.

You're changing. The light around you is bending and it's like you're returning to yourself. It's making my chest feel tight. You look right in your king's clothes.

How on Earth am I still smiling, you're about to die. There's no polite story in the world that changes that truth. Your footsteps are getting fainter – they're getting harder to count. I didn't even realize I was counting them until now. You're nineteen steps into the next phase – probably the last phase – of your life.

Still, I wish you'd stop walking.

5 steps.

You stop walking. You turn around and I can imagine the apologetic grin on your face. I know you want this and you know I want this because you want this, but then there's the part of us we don't talk about out loud anymore – the part that makes us cringe and hesitate because we don't want to split up.

You turn your back on heaven and that giant door closes. Anzu screams so loudly it makes me jump and Honda starts laughing. I forget how to breathe for about two seconds, and then you clap a hand on my shoulder and wink and I chuckle and wipe my tears away because you would put our feelings first.

You would put my feelings first.

We step off the dais and you're gone, but I feel you in the room. You've returned to the Puzzle. I guess it would have to be like this, bodies just don't materialize out of thin air… usually.

For the rest of my life you are my companion and I'll be equal parts joy and guilt because what happens when I'm gone? Will you ever be able to move on now?

We've probably doomed ourselves to fighting off evil psychopaths for the rest of our lives because the Puzzle and the items are still here, but I'm fairly sure we can handle it. We'll be the best geriatric super heroes ever.

This might get in the way of me forming healthy new relationships with girls…

I'm still happy though. It's better not to think about it too hard.

4 steps.

You stop walking. Your hesitation is so palpable I feel like you're waiting for me to push you. But you do finally turn around and you're shaking your head. You still have on the apologetic grin, but I think you're apologizing to yourself. You don't want to leave, even though you think you should. Even though I won.

Jou can't hold Anzu back this time as you walk towards us and the door slams closed and she throws herself at you. You and Jou laugh and Honda's having a hard time getting himself to stop crying. Ishizu's scandalized objections are being tamped down by Malik.

You hold Anzu and rub her shoulder as you try to calm her from her happy hysterics. You look at me, and I want to hug you too.

You shrug and cant your head at our girl and then we both laugh quietly, because everything is understood. There will be time for everything now. I nod.

You step off the dais and you're whole and I think my heart explodes. You're staring at your hands because you can't believe it either; Ishizu is hyperventilating and Malik is cracking up. Grandpa won't stop rubbing his head. Ryou is still hungry.

Everything is right in the world, and we all go home to Japan together.

We keep playing Duel Monsters, but you want games to be your life's work. So it becomes your job and I keep them as my hobby. I run the game shop and you're all over TV and it works out because Kaiba has created a false identity for you because he's got way too much pull in our government and that does not surprise me.

You meet someone and so do I and our sons will grow up together the way we weren't able to. Our children will never have to know how we felt, when we were lonely boys with so very few friends. We are together, and they will be too, and our families will grow old and prosperous with those of our friends'.

You'd probably be a more nervous father than me. I think maybe you can't let go of your control issues because you used to rule a country and I really hope you never have daughters, for their sakes! It's kind of hilarious.

We are old men with our wives getting breakfast on Sunday mornings and our kids can't stand us because we're stubborn old bastards and that's the way it's supposed to be, because you are you, and I am me.

3 Steps.

Or maybe we live together the rest of our lives. I still can't get a date and you say you don't need a girl because our friends keep you busy enough.

We keep each other happy and we never lament the fact that there won't be any more Mutous or… well, I don't know what your surname would be in this case, but you get the point.

I go to college and you play tournaments to afford us living together wherever we go. I get a business degree and the game shop becomes more successful than the Black Crown; me and Otogi become business partners because we're better as a team than rivals.

We visit Egypt and maybe you regret your decision to stay some nights because she's not your Egypt anymore, but you have me and this and I guess it's not so bad when you think of it that way.

We can see the whole world because you make ridiculous amounts of money from casinos that don't know any better, and Otogi and I make a killing with our game shops. We can visit Rebecca in America and we'll accidentally run into Keith; hilarity will ensue. We'd probably run into Mai in the last country we'd expect her in, which will be perfectly appropriate.

We spend Christmas's with our friends when Anzu comes home from New York for the holiday. Jou and Honda make cracks at us because we always spend Christmas with them instead of girls and go home together at the end of the night; I chase them around and you laugh. It's not gay because it's just you and me, why is that so complicated to understand?

I go to bed happy every night, even when you piss me off. I haven't lost my brother, and we get to make up for the time we lost by being born three thousand years apart.

2 steps.

You keep walking. I feel like I'm going to throw up and then my feet are flying and I'm falling into that blinding light after you.

I don't know what happens after that. Maybe it feels like I'm dying, or maybe it's a time machine. Maybe we're suddenly back in Egypt but it's real this time. I don't know how we're going to explain this to anyone.

How am I going to learn ancient Egyptian? Do you have to wait to speak Japanese to me when no one is listening because your priests will think you've been possessed? Is that even something ancient Egyptian priests worry about?

This way definitely causes more problems than it solves. I know it and you know it too and we both never say it out loud because we know it was the wrong decision for me to make. And still, it doesn't matter because we've ended up together and there are very few things I can think of that you and I can't accomplish.

If anyone can pull the wool over an entire palace's eyes, it'll be you. Besides, you seemed like a pretty mischievous kid in your memories; Mana will probably help us make it all work.

1 step.

You keep walking. I stand still, and I hope no one is looking because I'm crying like a baby.

You go Home. You go back to your family, the people who have been waiting patiently for you for millennia.

You get to see your cousin again, who is probably much better company than Kaiba. You two will probably rule the ancient world together and those people don't know how lucky they are.

You go back to your best friend, and she and your tutor will never have to give up their souls because you're with them and they can protect you and love you and they won't have to do it from afar, trapped in stone. I can't imagine anything better than that; I think I owe them more than you do, at this point.

You have your court back and the life that you should have had from the start.

You get to see your father again.

I stay here. I don't follow you. The door closes, and you are there and I am here. We lead entirely separate lives and become a memory in each other's heads.

Still.

There's only one future good enough for you. Only one of those paths is the one that you deserve, and I'm still barely sane enough to know that it isn't one that I'm a part of.

Heaven isn't even good enough for you, but I don't think we can do better than that, so we'll have to settle. I'm putting faith in the people that have been waiting for you, that they'll take care of you better than we could, and make you happier than we would. Not that you need anyone to do that for you.

Everything beyond the door is still; the light is sterilizing, scorching the stones where it's pouring onto the dais. My eyes hurt – is the light really making them water this much?

I imagine you're probably turning back to look at us one more time. I don't want you to see me like this; it's a little embarrassing. You're so sure this is the way it's supposed to be, and at the end of the day I trust you.

This has to be right. It is right.

I'm grinning and I don't think it's forced, and that makes me smile wider.

I'm not okay now, but I think I will be. It's not going to be right without you, not at first. Actually I think it'll be hell. I don't know what it'll be like for you, but I hope you're so happy you don't have time to miss us. If the thing in my chest squeezing my heart is any indication, there may be a bumpy road ahead.

But I'll be okay eventually. I'll find a way to be right again.

Even though I'll imagine our lives playing out differently over and over again, I know that we'll have gotten it right the first time. This is not the part of our lives where we're together, and that's how it's supposed to be. I'm pretty sure we've earned a reunion somewhere down the line; we did save the world a few times, after all.

A deep breath, one more for good measure; the door is sliding closed and this is the last glimpse I'll ever have of you, even though it's barely an outline.

There's an itchy patch of skin on my cheek where tears are collecting. But screw it, goodbyes are the one time where even a guy can cry.

My other self – Atem – my brother, my guardian, my role model, my goal, my best friend.

I love you, and that's the truth. I will miss you and it's going to hurt like a bitch, so I hope heaven is really awesome because this really won't be worth it otherwise.

The door slams shut and stale air blows my hair up and Anzu is whispering and now it sounds like everyone is crying – except Kaiba, naturally.

"Other me."

I will never forget you, and I've got to let you go.

A/N: As a side note, this is supposed to take place in the last episode during the 26 seconds before Yugi whispers "other me" for the last time. If it reads sporadic and not really polished, that was purposeful; this should read like the stream of his thoughts as they occur to him.

I'm sorry I write lots of sad stuff ;A; I just really connect with his loss, so it gives me lots of inspiration. Hopefully you've enjoyed my attempt at Yugi 1POV. I'd love to know what people thought of it! See you all next time :)