Chapter Four
"Lily, can I borrow your bra?" I asked as I got ready for the date I had with Remus today.
"Sure", she replied before going to her trunk. "Which one do you want?"
"Is the white one with black lace clean?" I asked, walking over as well and looking in too.
She laughed and pulled it out.
"You keep having to borrow my bras, how about after your date you can come with me to the clothing store and we can get you some new bras? I'm going to run out of clean ones before the wash!"
I blushed.
"Okay... It's really embarrassing that you noticed..."
She laughed at me while I went into my curtains to put it on. I grabbed a yellow tank-top to slide on over my bra, than grabbed a scarlet jacket with the neck cut out so that it hung low off one shoulder and the sleeves cut to mid-forearm, the bottom of the jacket to mid-thigh above my black leggings. I put on a pair of leg warmers that were stripped red and yellow above plain black slip-ons and red and what seemed like hundreds of red and gold bangles on each wrist. My hair was pulled up high on the right side of my head by a yellow scrunchi and curled a little to give it more bounce. My makeup was Gryffindor themed as well with gold eye-shadow and scarlet lipstick.
Lily and I appraised each other on our outfit choices while we walked down the stairs. I heard a few gasps when we entered the common room and saw James with his eyes glued on Lily who chose a simple pair of jeans and long-sleeved v-neck green shirt.
I chanced a look at Remus and flushed at his awe-stricken appearance. Sirius pouted then looked to Remus.
"Can I have her please Moony? I only need to show her off to Mum and you can have her back", He got on his knees and yanked on Remuses sleeve.
It snapped Remus out of his trance.
"No!" I could hear the wolf in his voice and see it in his eyes.
I ran over quickly, wrapping my arms around his shoulders.
"It's fine with me Remus, you're the only one I love", I kissed the corner of his mouth, calming him down. "I'll play girlfriend for Sirius when his parents come to pick him up and as soon as he'll gone I romp you up a bit. How's that sound?"
I heard Lily laugh, James choke and Sirius couch insanely after what I said. Something sparked in Remuses eyes s he thought about it before he finally agreed. I giggled and kissed his lips before grabbing his hand and pulling him with me out the portrait hole to join the other students who were going to Hogsmeade.
Remus and I were walking in front of Lily and Alice, one of her friends, who were followed by James and Peter, who were tailed by Sirius and some girl from another house.
"So Remus, what's your favorite color?" I asked, wanting to finish up that game of twenty-questions we never finished.
He laughed, realizing my intent before replying.
"Blue."
I rolled my eyes, typical male color.
"Do you yelp or jump?"
"Do I wh-AT!" He jumped and yelped when I grabbed a cheek before looking at me in complete shock. "I cannot believe you just grabbed me bum."
I laughed and grabbed it again, leaving my hand there this time.
"And why is that dear Rem-Rem?" I almost burst out laughing as I tried to keep a 'seductive' look on my face.
"B-Because it's improper a-and..." He stuttered, flushing and looking away, trying to ignore my hand.
"But you like it don't you?" I bit lip and tried to look at his face.
He flushed before nodding 'yes'.
"Do you want to hold mine too?" I gave him a gentle squeeze causing him to squeak and flush more.
"I would like to very much... but it's rude and demeaning to you and I don't think it should be done in public. He stared up at the sky, trying to ignore my actions still.
I sighed and took the hand he had across my shoulders with my free one and slid it down to my butt, cupping my hand over his so it would cup the cheek.
And my game continued like that, myself asking a red Remus devious questions with our hands on each others backsides. He didn't move his hand even though he kept saying it was wrong.
He took me to The Three Broomsticks first and got us a booth that we shared with James, Peter, Sirius, and the Ravenclaw he snagged as a date. It was a tight fit but we managed, mostly because the Ravenclaw sat in Sirius' lap.
"So, I saw that you two", Sirius started as the girl kissed his jaw gently, trying to provoke him to kiss her. "On the way here."
Remus flushed and I patted his leg under the table.
"I was just teasing Rem-Rem, nothing to worry about Sirius, I may be pregnant, but I've been keeping it in my pants", I replied, laughing when the Ravenclaw suddenly stopped her ministrations.
"You're pregnant? Won't you get kicked out?" She had a slightly nasally voice, which probably shows what Sirius was thinking when he picked her, 'her mouth will be busy most of the time, don't have to hear her voice'.
"Not with the circumstances no", I replied, gripping Remuses hand tightly under the table.
"And what are the circumstances?" Damn whore, probably wanted some good gossip material.
"An arranged marriage", I replied.
She gasped and leant forward.
"With who?" Her brown eyes were wide with 'curiosity'.
"Whom", I corrected her grammar. "And I'm not to tell, it's not official."
I squeezed Remuses hand harder, reassuring him that this was just a lie and that I hoped to marry him after the baby and such.
She huffed, rolling her eyes before returning to trying to get Sirius's attention.
I stuck out my tongue as the drinks arrived.
"Five butterbeers and a water", the waitress said as she set our orders down before leaving.
I reached for a butterbeer, but Remus stopped me, grabbing the water instead and placing it in front of me.
"Remus..." I groaned, staring at his drink wantonly. "Why not?"
"ButterBEER, as in alcohol. And alcohol is bad for the baby." He took a large swig of his drink while I grabbed mine begrudgingly.
"You're a butt-face I'll have you know."
"But you still love me."
- - -
I couldn't hide the stomach now, and I would get looks in the halls, some good, some indifferent, some disgusted and some angry. I had to find a spell that would allow my clothes to change sizes as my pregnancy progressed, which saved me loads of money because I didn't have to buy more bras, I just ended up giving lily the ones we had bought together, and now she complained she had too many.
I stretched my arms high above my arms as I started the trek up the stairs to go to divination. I didn't want to have to suffer through math again and changed to this class, Remus only allowed me to do so though because Sirius and James were in it.
I was huffing and puffing by the time I reached the top and almost late too.
"Sorry Professor, just getting tubbier and tubbier", I huffed, waddling over to sit with Sirius at the small circular tables.
"Your excused Miss Broom", she smiled at me kindly. Professor Trelawney is great, she's kind and thoughtful, her granddaughter though is a different story. She is kind of a kook and she is a fraud. The only reason I met her though is because she is training to be a Seer like her grandmother.
I smiled gratefully at her.
"Today, we will be reading tea-leaves again", she paused, waiting for the class to finish groaning. "I know you are impatient to move onto other things, but I want you to prefect your readings. Now send up a partner to get a tea tray."
I went to stand but Sirius stopped me, flashing me a smile before going to wait in line fore the tray.
I sighed and sunk into the chair, about to relax when a voice hissed my name. I turned around and frowned.
"What do you want?" I snarled at Narcissa Black.
"The rumor is that you were raped and all this arranged marriage stuff is a pot of crock. I just wanted to know if it was true", she had a sneer on her face.
"No I was not raped you tart", I growled before turning back around.
"Okay, I got green tea because Remus would kill me if I got an earl-grey", He smiled at me apologetically as he sat down, setting the tray down as well.
"I don't like tea either way so I don't really care", I shrugged as he started to pour me a cup, then himself. I took the cup like one would a mug with out a handle, lifting it to Sirius a little. "Bottoms up."
He let out a quick bark of laughter before he too finished off his cup. I let my cup hit the small glass plate roughly, not breaking the glass, but still warranting startled shrieks from some of the girls in class, then glares for the noise.
"Give it here Tigger", I demanded, sliding my cup to him.
"You sure are domineering. Are you always like this?" He raised an eyebrow at me as he gave me his cup.
"Only with you Siri-boo", I looked into his cup and laughed.
"What's so funny?" He asked, shifting to try and get a look.
"It looked like a pile of poo for a second", I looked at his face to see his grossed out expression. "It says that you are going to have a hard life but you are going to die for a good cause. How morbid."
He chuckled and read mine.
"Yours says you're extremely good in bed", his lips were tight, and the way he looked at me told me he was joking. I gave him a look and he jumped. "It actually says you'll be torn from the one you love soon, but you'll see each other again eventually."
"I think they're lying", I said, crossing my arms snobbishly.
"You can't just say that!"
"I can, I have, I did." I sniffed angrily and turned my face from the table.
I heard Sirius' head drop to the table as he groaned. I made a raspberry noise and giggled at his choke noise.
- - -
"Remus", I cooed at lunch, rubbing high on his thigh, ignoring his protests. "I'm hungry."
"There's a plate of food on the table in front of you", he was trying to ignore the tone in my voice and my hand.
I leaned in and breathed into his ear huskily. "That's not what I'm hungry for."
He choked and spit out the food in his mouth, pounding a fist on his chest as he spluttered.
"We h-have class and you need to eat your food", he pushed my hand off his thigh and pushed my plate closer to me.
I pouted and crossed my arms in a huff.
"Only if you feed me."
He blushed.
"Do we have to do this now?"
I nodded, making a loud noise to attract attention from the students surrounding us.
He flushed again before picking up my fork and getting a slice of zucchini on it before holding it in front of my mouth. I smiled easily at him and used my tongue to pull it into my mouth, watching him with hooded eyes. He blushed even more, getting the next piece ready.
After lunch, he grabbed our things and then my hand, pulling me towards the charms classroom; he tuned to the empty classroom next-door and pushed me in, following closely. He dropped the stuff and pushed me against a wall a little roughly, careful of my stomach as he smashed into me.
Our lips and tongues danced together fiercely as he unbuttoned my blouse and shoved his way between my legs, meeting little resistance. I began to unbutton his shirt as well wrapping my legs around his hips, pulling him close and groaning when his erection pressed against me through our clothing.
I moaned when he slipped his hand into my bra to flick my nipples, pushing my chest towards him. He suddenly stopped and pulled back like he'd been electrocuted.
"I-I forgot a-and I d-don't want to take advantage of you", he fumbled with the buttons on his shirt while he stumbled over his words.
"I was fine with it Remus..." I whispered, looking to the side as I buttoned my own shirt. I slid off the table and bent to get my own bag, having a hard time straightening up and refusing his attempts to help me.
I slammed the door open and entered the classroom in a fury, slamming my things onto a desk next to a poor Hufflepuff, not wanting to give Remus a place to sit next to me.
He didn't even spend enough time for us to be late to class.
I didn't look his direction when he came in solemnly, or when he sat next to Sirius dejectedly. My attention was on the board.
Just my luck, it would seem, that today was yet another practical lesson, meaning partners. We actually got to get up and move around for them today though and I immediately grabbed Lily's arm, pulling her with me to a desk in the corner so we could practice the spell that made lights flash different colors.
"What's wrong with you?" she asked gently as I jabbed my wand at the apple angrily, trying to do the spell.
I let out a frustrated groan before putting my wand on the table and collapsing into my chair.
"He doesn't want me..." I cried into my hands, letting my body curl up as much as it could with the balloon sized stomach.
"Who?" She asked, rubbing soft circles on my back.
I was going to reply when Flitwick came over to see what was wrong.
"What seems to be the problem ladies?"
I just started to cry even louder, catching the attention of the rest of the class.
"Could I take her somewhere more private to discuss this with her Professor, maybe take her to the hospital wing?" Lily suggested, still rubbing the circles, albeit, with a little more force.
Flitwick excused us immediately, telling us that he would send notice to our next few classes so we wouldn't have to worry about them. Lily thanked him, then got our things together and lead me to our dorm room, where she dropped our thing on her bed while I fell onto mine, still crying a waterfall before joining me and wrapping me in her arms.
"Want to tell me what happened, or do you just want the comfort?" She asked softly, stroking the hair from my face gently.
I hiccupped a few times before I could finally get my voice to work again.
"We were- We were ki-kissing and h-he stopped and jerked back like I electrocuted him and said he w-was s-s-SORRY!" I cried even louder, grabbing onto her back and shaking horridly with the force of my sobs.
I could hear her growl under her breath before tightening her grip on me.
"He didn't realize how you perceived it, I'm sure", she comforted me, stroking my hair and rocking us slightly.
I shook my head and cried into her shoulder even more.
I don't know how long it was before I finally pulled away and wiped at my cheeks and started to slow my dry-heaving, having run out of tears long before.
"I want to go home..." I mumbled, looking at my bedspread with longing. "I want Papa and Red and Abe and the library and the kitchen and Red's cats and my iron-wrapped-silver cage and those stupid rules...."
Lily was quiet, knowing that I just needed to vent right now.
"Hell, I even miss the Director!"
We sat in silence for a minute or two.
"Lily, is it time for dinner yet?" I looked up at her, hoping the answer was yes.
She smiled wryly before looking at the clock behind me and nodding.
"Do you want to clean up before dinner?" She asked, helping me stand and beginning to rub circles again.
I thought for a moment. "No, I'm fine."
She nodded, rolling her lips and furrowing her eyebrows.
We entered the hall together and sat with some of her friends at the far end, away from where Remus sat. I looked at the food and grabbed what I was craving from the choices: grilled chicken, mash-potatoes, turkey gravy, corn, peas, and butter-glazed-bread.
Lily stopped me though, giving me a stern look and taking then bread off my plate, putting it on hers and switching plates with me. I glowered at her before beginning to eat begrudgingly.
Halfway through the meal I felt a small tap on my shoulder, I almost wasn't sure I had even been touched, but turned anyway, only to glower and turn back around. Lily noticed my movements and stood, grabbing his arm to drag him away and most likely talk to him about what happened.
I ignored the confounded looks of the people around me, just continuing to eat the meal made for me.
And it was that way for a week or two, Remus trying to get my attention and myself ignoring him, playing off his advances as the wind.
- - -
I sat up glaring at the clock. Another sleepless night. I sigh angrily and get out of bed, slipping on a pair of slippers and throw on an old brown robe. I held the cuffs to my face and took a deep breath. It till smelled like Remus, it being his robe that I stole and all.
I sighed again, this time a tired one, and began to shuffle to the door. I shuffled down the stairs, tripping slightly a few times before I finally made it to the common room and sat, staring at the fire blankly.
It's my fault we aren't talking... He's trying to patch it up and I'm holding a stupid grudge because he didn't want to have sex with me. How low am I, that I need sex to feel complete? I'm blaming the hormones right now. Usually, it wouldn't have bothered me that he wanted to wait. But, he pulled away like I burnt him or something...
I was startled from my revere by two warm arms wrapping around me gently. I looked at my shoulder and began to cry before hugging him back.
"Remus..." I whispered into his hair.
He shushed me and began to kiss my lips gently. I closed my eyes and pressed back on his lips. We pulled away and smiled gently at each other.
"I missed you..." He whispered, biting his lip.
"I missed you more", I replied, brushing a tear from his cheek gently with my thumb. "I just... you pulled away so quickly..."
He blushed now.
"It was because I felt like I was taking advantage of you when I remembered that you were going through a hormonal imbalance..." He looked at the fire now, changing positions so I was curled against him.
"How do you suddenly remember that if my stomach is pressed into you?"
He flushed even more.
"I-when I was... you know... you ... lactated..."
I giggled and kissed his jaw.
"Remus Lupin, I daresay that you are the only boy I now know who doesn't think that is sexually stimulating."
"I-It's not th-that I-I d-don't!"
I laughed and cut him off, kissing him deeply.
"I love you", I whispered when we pulled away.
"You're my world", he replied, pulling me into another kiss.