All I Wanted Was You Chapter 4: No Sound But the Wind
Authors Note: Hey I just want to say you guys are amazing! Thanks to all your reviews and thanks to you guys who read my stories! I love you all and you make my day super awesome The reason I write is because of you guys, so please if you like this story REVIEW! I love reviews!
This chapter title is from the song No Sound But the Wind by the Editors who are on the New Moon Soundtrack. I was actually listening to this soundtrack while I was writing this chapter. I love it; go listen to it if you haven't yet!
Thanks to Jits, ECISLove2010 and Nicole because you guys are awesome and thanks for your reviews!
This chapter is for all you guys who love Edward! This whole chapter is on his perspective! I love writing this because I loved showing Edward's emotion, so I hope you like it too
-Jenn!xoxo
Edward's POV
"Bring, Bring" The bell rung echoing throughout my head like a bongo drum. All the late students were frantically scurrying like mice, towards the entrance to Forks High School, so that they would not be marked late by their teachers. I was just about to join the crowd of students but the image of Mike and Bella together unexpectedly, entered my head like a gust of wind suddenly hitting your body on a cold winters' day. My stomach churned as the motion whirled around, making me sick with disgust. How could she be with him? How could she let his hands over her body? I was supposed to be the one who touched her and comforted her. I kept saying to myself over and over that Bella had every right to be mad at me and that not being together was for the best. However the more I said that to myself, the more I realized I missed her with every cold bone in my body. I knew I had made a mistake leaving her like I did but I had to protect her, I couldn't let something like what happened with Jasper happen again. I just couldn't. But now I realized I would rather be with her and protect her from dangerous situations than to be away from her. But the damage was already been done and I did not know what I would do if Bella wanted to stay away from me, forever. She was the sun who brought wondrous warmth and luminous light to my dark, lurid world. With her in my life I felt as though instead of being a cold, gross vampire I was a beautiful creature who was loved by all. She had no idea how much she meant to me. When I was away, she was the only thing I thought of and she was my oxygen who kept me breathing. My stomach ripped open when I heard that Charlie was at a funeral which meant Bella had died jumping off of the cliff. In that moment my sun had been taking away from me and I knew if I continued on living, there would be no light in my life. My life would turn into a continuous web of shadows and darkness. That is why I had to go to the Volutri. There was no reason to live if my love was not in my life.
At first when I felt a body jump on me, I did not believe it was Bella. I could not believe it but when I saw her beautiful face and her bright brown eyes I knew she was alive. My Bella was alive and at that moment the brightness had returned to my life! Nothing mattered to me but Bella and being with her. I was so happy and glad my love was alive that I was not prepared to hear those awful words from her beautiful mouth. That is when my world shattered into a million little pieces and there was no longer any brightness in my life. I was nothing without Bella and I needed her in my life even if that meant seeing her with Mike Newton. My stomach felt as though it was churning and the emotion sickness made me come to reality. I looked around and realized I was the only one in the parking lot. I glanced at my watch and noticed I was fifteen minutes late for class. I sighed. I was not ready to see Bella. Besides what was the need to learn about things I had already learned about million times. I knew in order to calm myself down I need to go for a drive. So I opened my car door and started speeding out of the parking lot like a bolt of lightning scorching the black velvet sky.
It felt so good flying down the street like a bird because it allowed me to let out my frustration. I could feel people staring at me with wide expressions but I could care less. I needed to calm myself down or else I could see myself spiraling out of control. The screeching tires and the sound of rubber burning flowed into my head which, tried to overpower the millions of thoughts I had of Bella in my head. I saw a Stop sign and suddenly came to a halt as I heard the tires skid on the grey, cement pavement. I sighed. I realized even if I could not be with Bella I longed just to talk to her and see her beautiful face. I did promise her I would watch out for her and by speeding in my Volvo; I was already breaking my promise. I had to show her that I still loved and cared for her. I had to tell her I was never going to stop loving her. So I glanced at the neon, green flashing lights on my car stereo. I still had enough time to make it to English class and see my beautiful Bella. So I quickly sped to Forks, parked and walked swiftly to the English classroom. I knew there were never any classes before ours so I walked in and sat where I usually did in the back, with Bella. I glanced to my right and wished Bella was there so I could wrap her up in my arms, which is where she belonged. Usually as a vampire I tended to know how to get out of tough situations but I did not know how to fix things with Bella. I wanted her more than she would ever know and if I had to fight for her until I died, than that's what I would do. I pulled Shakespeare's "Romeo and Juliet" from my bag and opened it on my desk. I did not need to read the book, I had already memorized it from years of reading it but I wanted students to think I was reading, so I could easily drift off into another world where I could listen to what people were saying about my Bella.
All of a sudden a sweet, lustful aroma drifted into my nose and I knew without even looking up that Bella had entered the room. I knew Bella's smell more than anyone's because even though her smell made me want to kill her, her smell was unique and beautiful. I saw her hesitation as she stopped in the middle of the entrance as she realized I was sitting in my seat. It broke my heart to see her hesitation. I wanted her to be able to come to me for anything like she used to, instead of being disgusted of me. I longed to hold her in my arms and stare at her beauty. I could honestly stare at her for as long as I lived. However I was afraid of what would happen as soon as she sat down. Would we still be friends who could talk and laugh or would she ignore me and pretend I didn't exist. I tried to look at Bella's face but as soon as I did I regretted it. As Bella walked slowly down the aisle to our desks, she gave me the most hurtful, worried look I had ever seen. It was as if I was the most disgusting thing on the planet, and that hurt. She sat down slowly, got her books out and looked straight ahead to the blackboard. I didn't know what to do or how to react because I didn't know what Bella was feeling so I stared straightly at the front of the room. Time seemed to stood still as my thoughts of Bella distracted me from the teacher's boring voice. Finally I could not take the silence between us any longer. I had to talk to my Bella and find out if she was still mine and not Mike's. I sighed and turned around to see Bella.
"So may I ask what is going on between you and Mike?" I asked running my hands through my wild hair. As soon as I mentioned Mike, Bella turned her head away from the front of the classroom and glared at me.
"That is none of your business Edward!" She said continuing to glare at me. At first I was shocked to see Bella so angry, I had never seen Bella this angry before. But although I had failed Bella, it was my job to protect her from guys like Mike Newton.
"Well just be careful." I said desperately wanting her to watch herself around any guy who wasn't me. Even though I wanted her to be with me, I wanted to make sure she was okay. However as soon as I said that, I saw Bella get angrier. I swear if her face could have gone red, it would have.
"Thanks for your advice Edward but I don't need it. I will be okay, so stay out of my business. You did not want to have anything to do with me when you left, so keep it that way!" she said angrily as she tried not to yell. Her words stung like Carlisle's teeth when he changed me into a vampire. She was right but there was no way in hell I was going to stay out of her business.
"Bella, I already explained to you why I left and I will be sorry for the rest of my life for what I have done to you. But I will never stop caring for you and I did promise I would look after you. I do not want to break another promise. Besides friend's look after each don't they, or are we not friends anymore?"
I explained becoming furious and worried at the same time. I was so mad that Bella was not understanding how much I cared for her but I was getting worried as to what Bella was trying to say to me. What would I do if Bella did not want to be friends? I would die inside. If I couldn't be with her I still needed to be her friend.
She stared blankly at me. "I don't know what we are Edward but what I do know is that friends don't hurt each other. So please try to stop caring about me. I will be fine." She said angrily. Her words cut me like a knife as I tried to register what she was saying to me. How could she not understand that I would never stop caring for her? I know I hurt her but friends make mistakes.
"Bella….I'm so sorry. I hope we can fix this soon, I need you. I let you down once, but I promise I will never let it happen again." I said looking into her eyes pleading with her to forgive me. Her eyes were so beautiful and dazzling. I just wanted to kiss her and tell her everything would be okay. I just wanted her back because I could not live without her. Couldn't she see I loved her more than this entire world?
"Stop it, just stop it Edward! You have said enough! Just leave me alone!" She exclaimed trying to keep her voice at an appropriate level for class.
"What does that supposed to mean? Do you not want to talk to me anymore? Am I not allowed to talk to you anymore Bella?" I asked looking at her with sorrow in my eyes.
"I think that would be best. I think it would be best also if we were not friends." She answered. My heart crushed into millions of pieces like an ice cube being dropped on the ground. Was she crazy? How could she think it would be best if we were not friends? How could she not forgive me, even though I wasn't human I deserve a second chance. I couldn't live without her. What would I do? How could I survive without my sun in my life? I frowned.
"Bel…." All of a sudden the bell rung interrupting my voice and Bella got out of her seat and ran like the wind out of the classroom.
Not friends. Not friends anymore? How could she think that we shouldn't be friends? I thought yesterday I would have a chance of getting my love back but right now it seemed as though my hopes were diminishing by the second, just like how the brightness of a flame slowly fades away. Since I felt as though my life was incomplete, there was no reason to go to the rest of my classes. It was pointless. Everything was pointless. Life was pointless unless Bella was in it. So I got up and walked to my car. I jumped in and sped off towards my house.
As soon as I entered my house, Esme greeted me but soon realized I wasn't in a very good mood. I softly smiled at her to reassure her I was okay then I made my way to my room. Then I walked to my new bed and laid down. For once I was thankful that I had bought a bed for Bella to sleep in. I laid on my back staring at the ceiling trying to organize my thoughts but after three hours of thinking, my thoughts were still jumbled like piece puzzles in their box. I also realized that no matter how hard I tried to think, it would not change the fact that Bella did not want to be anywhere near me. Finally after all this time she had realized how disgusting I was. When I realized my thoughts were not going to become un jumbled I went downstairs to try to play on the new piano Carlisle had found for me. But no matter how hard I tried, I could not play a single note. Not only was Bella my sun but she was also my inspiration, without her my world was meaningless.
"Are you okay Edward?" Esme asked as she walked into the room.
"No….I don't know what to do Esme. Today Bella told me she doesn't even want to be friends with her. I know I deserve this but Esme I really need her in my life, what do I do?" I asked pleading with Esme.
"Oh Edward I know it's hard, but trust me, everything will work itself out, I just know it!" She said trying to reassure me even though I didn't believe her.
"I hope so." I answered as I started to get up from the piano seat. A wave of weakness hit me like a tidal wave. I knew I should hunt but I didn't think I would have the energy to go out knowing the fate of Bella and I.
All of a sudden the door flew open and Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett flew into the room.
"I saw a vision of everything that happened between you and Bella. I also saw all of us hunting, so Jasper and I left school and on the way here we met up with Rosalie and Emmett who were racing down the road in the jeep." Alice said jumping on the piano.
"Edward I'm so sorry for what happened between you and Bella, but everything will work out!" Alice advised.
"How Alice? How? You said to give her time but now she won't even give me the time of day." I said pleaded with Alice.
"Give her more time Edward, I'm sure no time she will realize how much she needs you." She said as she smiled at me and then winked at Jasper. If I was in a right state of mind I would have thought more into the wink but my mind wasn't working properly at all.
"Yeah man, Bella will come back to you as soon as she realizes what a jerk Mike is." Emmett said laughing, "But first we have to get you some blood. So we decided we should go to some of the areas up north where all of the fresh meat is. It will also get you away from this place for some time." Emmett suggested.
"Yeah…." Rose was going to say something but I could tell for once she did not want to start anything right now.
I knew they were right. I had to hunt or else I would never make it. So we said goodbye to Esme and made our way to the Northern part of Forks. As soon as we arrived to our destination I split away from my siblings because I needed to be by myself. I flew through the air remembering when Bella was on my back and as I showed her my magical talent. Oh how much I missed her. I rapidly threw through the air trying to distract myself by focusing on my thirst for fresh blood. I saw a wolf and leaped on it as I bit its neck and sucked the delicious blood. I didn't notice how thirsty I had been until I had sucked the wolf dry. I wiped the crimson red blood off of my face and climbed up a tree that was nearby. I sat on the tallest branch and looked out unto the landscape. I thought eating and killing would distract my mind from thinking of Bella, but I should have known nothing would ever distract my from thinking about Bella. She would always be on my mind. I could hear the others leave the location and I knew, they knew I wanted to remain alone. So I sat on the tree branch as I watched the sun say goodbye to the world as the moon said hello. I didn't realize I had been sitting for such a long time until I had glanced at my watch. I was going to stay out later but an idea began to form inside my mind. Perhaps I would have more luck talking to Bella and letting her know how I felt if I went to her window like I used to know. I would try anything just for her to let me in. To let me in her room. To let me in her heart, her soul again. I had to tell her how I felt. I knew there was a chance she would still never forgive me but she had to know how I truly felt about her. So I made my way quickly to Bella's house but as I came closer to her house, the smell of dog filled my nose. I growled as I jumped on one of the tallest branches on the tree behind Bella's house. I sat still and quiet like a statue.
The anger started to boil in my chest as soon as I saw Jacob leap onto the lowest branch of the tree and then jump into Bella's room. I was still; hidden in the branches so Jacob couldn't see but I knew even if I was in plain sight he would still not see me because his focus was entirely on Bella. I could hear it. I could hear his intentions as soon as he jumped into the window but I knew Bella wouldn't let him do that, or so I thought. I slowly made my way down the tree so I was just above her window. I had a clear view of everything especially Bella with that awful wolf. I thought seeing Bella with Mike Newton made me angry, seeing her with Jacob made me want to explode like a bomb. I wanted to rip his hands away from hers. As he made his way closer to her, I could hear his thoughts. I knew he had jumped into her window in order to kiss her. But I knew my Bella would never let him kiss her. However when I saw them kiss, Bella did not move, rather she seemed she was enjoying it. Now I was officially broken as I watched the love of my life kiss Jacob. My enemy. I realized there was no way I was going to get her back now. Then after what seemed like an eternity, Jacob said goodbye to Bella and jumped out of her window as he glanced up at me, smiled and whispered.
"She's mine."
I growled not noticing that Bella had walked towards the window and now she was facing me, looking up at me with a surprised look on her face. I stared at her beautiful face longing to erase the image of what I had just seen.
"Bella! Bella!" I shouted loud enough so that she would hear but quietly enough so that I wouldn't wake up Charlie. Even though I just saw her kiss Jacob I needed to talk to her. I had to show her that I was the one for her. However she ignored my cries as she closed the window and walked towards her bed.
"Bella I love you!" I shouted doubting she could hear me. I sighed knowing there was not much hope left. I jumped out of the tree and started running through the trees, so the only sound I could hear was the sound of the wind whipping past me.
Next on All I Wanted Was You:
Bella's POV- spends more time with Jacob, Alice visits her to tell her how much Edward misses her. However when Jacob becomes a little too dangerous, will she go back to Edward?