Putting Danger Into Dating

Beeeeep! Beep! Beep! Beeeeeep! Bee -

My hand finally makes contact with the rounded button atop my digital clock, flashing 9:00 AM at me in radioactive green. The idea of me waking up at 9am on a Saturday is unusual. The fact it's my own choice and not the result of a direct order from our slave-driver leader wanting to go chase Moon Rabbits or try Yeti hunting is even stranger.

But then how can I possibly miss the chance to espy Haruhi dating someone? Especially when that someone is the unflappable Koizumi. I keep trying to guess exactly how long he'll last before Haruhi blows him off. It troubles me that I suspect that, as ever, Koizumi will have already planned a step ahead of everyone else and has some flashy Ace of Spades up his sleeve. On a slightly different note I'm also fairly sure he has no romantic interest in Haruhi. But then I wonder if he could have just been double bluffing us, and even if he does somehow start going out with her would it simply be for power?

I'm over thinking all of this. The potential politics involved within the SSS are enough to drive anyone mad, and we only have 5 members. It makes one wonder how Governments manage to survive more than a few weeks. Anyway I ought to hurry if I'm going to manage breakfast and get there in time to meet Yuki and Asahina-san. I texted them after school yesterday and asked them to meet me in a Lonsdale Supermarket round the corner from the Starbucks, getting a 'Sounds like fun ;)' from Asahina-san and a simple 'Yes' from Yuki; Yuki's response took less than a second.

So that's the plan. We meet at Lonsdale, and trail Koizumi and Haruhi on their date. And although the pairing is a Goddess with an esper, being tailed by a time traveller, alien and me, it should at least feel a little like a normal part of a teenager's school life. Come to think of it we'd been doing a fair few more normal events recently, like over the summer; it's often as hard to see Haruhi as a normal girl as it is to see her as a Goddess.

I finish my rushed breakfast of egg and toast and make my way out to my trusty bike, locked against a railing in the front garden. It's a good day for a date, definitely spring weather. I chuckle. When I was a kid I believed in fairies, Santa Claus and fantastical things. Growing older that died in me and the real world in all its mundaness of school, weather and dating became normal. Now, even though Haruhi often pursues ordinary things, what she has brought about means that the normal will never seem that way to me again. In truth I'm really glad. Haruhi's world scares me but the world I had slipped in to seeing as normal was so empty, draining and pointless that Haruhi's seems like a nirvana by comparison; well a place with far more life at least. Knowing it's all so temporary adds an extra sheen on life's beauty as well, I appreciate each day far more somehow.

I skid to a stop at a red light. I only just saw it in time! I do have a bad habit of spacing out. I blame my overactive mind. I spent so much time dreaming when younger that I didn't really focus on life. Enough, I need to hurry. My imagination continues to produce a variety of different possibilities for the date ahead, sure that Koizumi won't simply stroll up to Haruhi in casuals: Koizumi appearing from a crate next to Haruhi like a Jack in a Box, Koizumi in a suit with a red rose, Koizumi in a Sumo Wrestling outfit.

Humming a random anime song I skid round the final corner and slow to a stop next to one of a number of silver metal hoops protruding from the ground, looking like some metal earthworm digesting pavement or part of a kid's playground that got hopelessly lost. I chain up my bike and glance at my black watch with its bland electric screen; it's functional at least. 9.40. Five minutes until we're due to meet and 20 before their date.

I walk up the street, past the stores to my right and left; customers moving between shelves in the shadowy stores. The street is quite crowded with a mixture of those who are working and others out to shop or sightsee; an odd mixture of suits and shiny polished shoes clashing with loud T-Shirts and designer trainers as though two separate societies have become enmeshed. The traffic is all behind me as this street is for pedestrians and cyclists only, and therefore slightly narrower than a usual high street.

My own trainers are heavily worn come to think of it; all the summer activity has given their whiteness a grounded, earthen hue. But to buy new ones would drain my limited resources so I'll live with them a little longer. I bet Haruhi doesn't have this problem. If she notices her shoes are looking worse for wear I wonder what happens? A special discount comes up? A bird drops them through her window during the night? They magically regenerate when she's not looking? Or do a bunch of Espers handcraft and replace them every month in the dead of night, like grown up men playing Santa's Little Helpers.

I almost miss Yuki standing outside the grocery store as she's hiding behind a large newspaper. The lack of movement of the paper alerts me that it's her. I've wondered many times why, seen as Yuki can presumably amass all the data on a books page in a fraction of a second, does she take so long to read stuff?

I'm also curious as to how long she's been there. A few minutes or hours? Did she walk or teleport? Not that it really matters I suppose, there are more important things to plan for.

"Hey Yuki."

The paper lowers a fraction to reveal her purple hair and large golden eyes.

"Hey."

There is, I think, a trace more warmth in the tone than when we first met. It's subtle but I'm sure it's there. Well better to believe that than to believe it's only there because I want it to be so.

The paper moves back up and Yuki continues her 'reading' without turning the page. Does Yuki actually turn pages when reading? I'm sure she must do. But then what is she thinking about whilst 'reading'?

"Y..."

"Kyon! Yuki! Heya!" Asahina-san appears in a light blue summer dress; a large straw summer hat resplendent with red ribbons and a clutch of small white flowers encircles her head. She's also carrying a picnic hamper from a cream strap about her shoulder. Beautiful, yes; subtle camouflage, no. Oh well. I guess it's to be expected but we're in for some serious problems on the not being spotted front. Maybe I should have just come by myself.

"Hey Asahina-san!" I call out. I'm not sure if Yuki answered as well. If she did it was in her mumble voice. I glance at her to find the newspaper has vanished. I blink. Yuki stares back poker faced. She'd have some future as a magician, dematerialising and rematerialising stuff at will.

It didn't really register before but Yuki has almost equaled Asahina-san in terms of trying to win the award for most likely to be spotted get up. She's wearing a many shades of green, splodge patterned army camouflage suit. It seems she's also managed to materialise a peaked army cap from somewhere. To say she looks really good in it is an understatement. To say she stands out on an ordinary Tokyo High Street more than a singing bear trap at a RSPCA meeting would be a more accurate observation. All she needs in addition is an automatic machine gun with a circular ammo shooter. Still people might think its cos-play I suppose.

"Um, Yuki?"

"Yes?"

"Well I know we're following them but..."

"It's camouflage."

"Yes but..." Yuki stares back with uncomprehending eyes. Sometimes, for an AI, Yuki can be surprisingly clueless. Rather like, for a stereotypical airhead, Asahina-san can sometimes be frighteningly cunning and intelligent. I wish I knew when they were being genuine and when they were running rings round me. Or perhaps I'm just being paranoid. I really don't get ordinary girls, let alone ones who are time travelers and aliens.

"Isn't the meeting place round the corner?" Asahina-san asks.

"Yeah. I thought we'd meet a little way away and then move to the vantage point. We still have fifteen minutes. There's a small alley across the road from the meeting spot where we can start following them from."

Yuki nods signalling approval and I start moving back up the road with Yuki to my right and Asahina –san to my left; trying to ignore the fact that every third person is glancing at Yuki with a look of curiosity and every other person's gaze is aimed a little below Asahina's face.

If this was an infiltration mission we would be so dead right now. Well Yuki would probably just wipe out the enemy. But we'd fail the mission. Unless Yuki mind wiped everyone. She's too powerful by half. And she's only one of many? I do wonder about that. If there were that many and some were as crazy as our old Class Rep then I don't think this world would be doing so well at present.

"What's with the picnic hamper?" I ask Asahina-san; she seems in good spirits, humming away. Summer obviously suits her.

"I thought, you know, as we might be tailing them for a while then we'd need refreshments."

"Ah, good thinking."

I'm glad my premonition that she'd brought us food was right. I had completely forgotten about getting food, and if Koizumi has somewhere remote in mind then Asahina-san's hamper could be a lifeline. Or indeed if our tailing fails it might be nice just to go for a picnic somewhere, with Asahina-san. That wouldn't be an unpleasant option at all, I guess. But I do want to see Koizumi's date. It should be very interesting, or very short. I chuckle as we cross the road and turn into an alleyway.

"What's so funny?" Asahina-san asks.

"Oh, nothing. How long do we have?"

"Eight minutes, forty seconds and 33 microseconds until 10am," Yuki states. I bet she already knows the exact time Koizumi and Haruhi are going to turn up as well. Though I doubt she can see too far into the future or else her already insane abilities would be in the Goddess League of our leader.

The alleyway we're in is a passage between shops, wide enough for a couple of people to stand side by side. Various pipes snake along the walls and small windows peer short sighted at the opposite wall. It's pretty clean for an alley, no loose bin bags or scurrying mice or the stench of rotting bananas and public toilets. Perhaps I've watched too many dramas and anime that I simply expect all alleyways to be degraded places of decay.

I peer round the corner at the Starbucks but no-one's there. Then I see her. Haruhi is strolling up to the front of the Starbucks in a low cut, tangerine tank top and Denham shorts; a yellow ribbon fluttering from her hair. If one didn't know her they would definitely be drawn to her, with her thrust out chest, long pale legs and confident stride.

She comes to a stop outside Starbucks and glances at her wrist. I do the same. It's 9.58am. Asahina-san is standing to my right and whispers,

"She's here."

I nod and glance behind her at Yuki. She's leaning against the alley wall with eyes closed. Does she have someone or something watching Haruhi?

Then Yuki's eyes shoot open and I thought I caught sight of a smile. I look back at the Starbucks. Still no sign of Koizumi. Haruhi's left foot has started tapping and he's no-where to be seen. Surely Koizumi knows better than to keep Haruhi waiting? A white van sweeps past us, then a green Toyota Prius. As it passes I become aware of a strange throbbing sound in the air, hearty and loud. It's heading towards us, from the left. A blue Honda drives in front of us and once it has passed I finally catch sight of the source; a bright red, with yellow lightening stripes, two seated Ducati motorbike screeches to a halt in front of Starbucks with a slim figure clad in a leather jacket at the front. The sudden motion sends Haruhi's hair and ribbon fluttering wildly and causes her to shield her eyes with her right arm.

I can only assume the riders Koizumi, as his head is enveloped in a black helmet; a second helmet hanging from the bikes handlebars. He tosses Haruhi the second black helmet. She catches it, glances at the bike and pulls the helmet over her head, fixing it in place with the strap. A small crowd have gathered to watch as Koizumi revs the bike engine; it's a really nice bike. As Haruhi slides onto the back seat Koizumi takes the revs up another notch and, after a silver Honda slides past, pulls out into the road leaving a black S shaped skid mark on the tarmac.

"Wow." Gasps Asahina-san.

"Show off," I mutter. Though that suggests I'm jealous. Well I guess. Koizumi's so damn good at everything, and increasingly I'm beginning to believe anything. If only I could find his Achilles heel!

"But how do we follow them now?" Asahina-san queries.

She has a good point.

"Catch Kyon" Yuki says. I spin. Yuki speaking of her own volition always merits attention.

A pink helmet lands in my arms. Asahina-san turns as well to find a blue one land in her arms. We both glance up and my jaw drops. Yuki is standing with a green camouflage helmet on and a three seated motorbike patterned with flowers by her side.

"Ummm..."

"Shall we?" Yuki asks as she slides into the driving position.

That's about the most I will get explanation wise from Yuki, and besides there isn't time for explanations. With serious misgivings I hop on behind and Asahina-san climbs on behind me. It's some consolation that Asahina-san seems at least as nervous as me, before we even set off her arms have wrapped tightly around my waist and her body is pressed up against my back. Maybe this isn't so bad after all. Yuki revs the engine. A thought occurs to me.

"Have you ever been on a motorbike Yuki?"

"No. I read the manual just now though."

We shoot out of the alleyway, just missing a white van that gives us a foghorn blare. I'm not sure if it's Asahina-san or me who screams louder as Yuki darts in front of yellow taxi on the other side of the road and accelerates up to the back of a pale blue car of unfamiliar make in front. She almost forgets to brake. I'd close my eyes but I think that would make it worse. Asahina-san has just buried her helmeted head into my shoulder. I hope she's managed to keep hold of the picnic hamper, although the chances of me having any appetite left or that the food will still be recognisable by the time this torment is over must be slim to none.

The next few minutes are reminiscent of being on a rollercoaster, with stop start rushes through the city centre until we hit the highway. By now I'm not sure my eardrums are still intact from the combination of the engine's roar or the occasional screams from behind. Asahina-san must be terrified. Yuki clearly has no idea how dangerous she is on a motorcycle and I'm half hoping to hear a police siren. On the plus side we can now see Koizumi's bike ahead.

Without the stop starting of the inner city my stomach settles as we rush by cars. Yuki should be good enough not to crash, being an android and all. But what on earth is Koizumi planning? His bike signals left and shoots down a ramp back towards the city streets. Yuki pulls hard left and narrowly misses a black Honda as she takes off after him. I am never doing this again! I'm just glad I didn't have a heavy meal first.

On our right side a black van roars down the slip road. He must be shredding the speed limit to shards given Yuki must have been abusing it most of the journey. With a squeal of brakes it skids to a stop down the road next to Koizumi's bike, which is waiting for a gap in the traffic at the foot of the slip road.

I blink as our own bike slows down to allow a few more cars gap between us and Koizumi, in doing so I almost miss what happens next. The back door of the van opens and a hand yanks Koizumi inside. I thought I heard him yell 'Help', but that doesn't sound like the sort of thing he'd yell. There's a slam as the door shuts and with a screech the van accelerates into a gap in the traffic.

All credit to Haruhi. With barely a moments hesitation she jumps into the driver's seat, guns the engine and shoots after them, sending 3 cars into the central embankment on the other side of the junction. Yuki steers our own bike down the side of a couple of stationary drivers in front, watching in shock, and sends us after Haruhi. I wonder what will happen once the police come. Again I guess if they do we at least have Yuki.

I look past Yuki and up the road where the van is accelerating along another main highway towards the industrial side of the city. I strongly doubt that this kidnapping is coincidental.

But then why on Earth kidnap himself? Sometimes Koizumi makes no sense whatsoever. Doesn't he know the guy's the one who rides in on shining white armour and save the Damsel in Distress? Or whatever. Damsel in Distress is a term that would never fit Haruhi. Her captors would be the ones in distress within a few hours, or Haruhi would be dead, but then as Goddess that would never happen. But at any rate it's hardly the way to impress Haruhi making her the star of... Oh. Well played Koizumi. Well Played. He never had any thought of properly dating her at all. He just wants to keep her satisfied. I feel somewhat relieved. Just like Koizumi.

However as we begin weaving and dodging street traffic again, with my stomach lurching, my mind is almost exclusively thinking one simple thought. Are the police going to catch us before or after this bike becomes a mangled pink splurge against some wall or some other road user is killed?

I was going to try and do the whole date in one Chapter but thought it was better to get a Chapter out given the length, and that I may try switching PoV; at any rate hope you enjoyed the latest installment above - Ethereal.