So here's chapter 4! The next will be out in the next two days :-)

"So you met at a bar?"

"Yes."

"And he took you home?"

"Mhmm."

"And he was gone in the morning?"

"Yup."

"And he moved before you could tell him he had a kid?"

"Garcia, do you want me to tell the story over again?"

Penelope tilted her head to the side and looked as if she was considering the offer.

"Do you want me to destroy his credit score?"

Spencer laughed and took a sip of his coffee before shaking his head 'no'.

"Honestly, I can't blame him. Sure I was hurt, but I wasn't hurt over the one-night-stand. I was hurt that he made me believe it wasn't one. He didn't really do anything wrong. Sure we made promises, but promises after a few shots doesn't equate to much. He deserves to know. I just have no idea how to go about it. But my happiness for my daughter is greater then my apprehension."

Garcia leaned back in her chair and folded her arms.

"Wow. I mean, wow! What are the chances? You guys really do make beautiful babies though."

Spencer laughed and ran a hand through disheveled hair.

"We really do, don't we?"

"When are you going to tell him? I could throw a post-baby shower!"

"The sooner, the better I guess. I mean, he's already missed three years and it's not fair to either of them."

Garcia stood and wrapped her arms around Spencer's shoulders.

"You are a far better man then I'd have been, Spencer Reid."

Spencer shakes his head. He's really not. He wants to be a good person, and the words come out right, but beneath it all is the pain. He can still remember the feel of Derek's weight pressing down on top of him. He can still remember the sound of every moan, the feel of Derek's muscles under his finger tips, and every single whispered promise. He's held on to those memories so tightly for so long, and now he has to drag the man who left him alone in bed back in to his life. into Akeila's life.

He spends the rest of the day absent mindedly filling out paperwork. Every once in a while he hears Derek laugh at one of JJ's jokes or the flirting tone he uses with Garcia and a shiver runs down his spine. Not for the first time he curses his own memory.

He gave himself excuses for the rest of the day. The paperwork had to be done as soon as possible. He wanted to remain professional at work. There were too many people around. He knew he was being a coward, but for once his life was changing too rapidly and he was having trouble keeping up. When the clock struck five with no sign of a case he breathed a sigh of relief and packed his bags to leave not noticing He wasn't the only one to rush out of the building.

Derek threw his things on the couch and took a deep breath before letting Clooney out into the back yard.

Today had been the hardest day he'd ever had at the BAU, and given some of their cases, that was saying something. Working with Spencer Ried was going to be impossible.

He'd never fantasized about anyone before. Even when he was alone in his bed at night, the men were always faceless. The fantasies of Spencer were so real it took his breath away. He could picture touching and kissing the man as if it had actually happened.

He made his way to his room and pulled a worn shoe box from the top shelf of his closet. He always pulled it out when The loneliness got too much, when he saw something too brutal. When he felt too alone.

Inside the box was a black t-shirt with the pi sign on it and a letter. The letter was in his own writing, and some people may have asked why he bothered to keep it. The truth was That Derek had never really loved another person. He'd never connected with anyone. For a long time he'd wondered if he was broken.

This letter showed that he HAD loved someone, if only briefly. It showed someone had loved him.

When he'd first lost his memory, he'd only considered it a minor inconvenience. it hadn't been until he was moving that he found the note and truly mourned what he couldn't remember. No one had ever been this special to him, and now he couldn't remember the only person who was.

Still he held on to the fact that he wasn't incapable of love. He traced His finger over the symbol in the t-shirt and smiled before placing the items back in the box.

Spencer brushed his daughter's wet hair back from her face and began twisting it into two seperate braids as she read.

She wore a familiar black t-shirt with her pink pajama bottoms and skimmed the lines to a tale of two cities, asking for help every few pages.

Seeing the t-shirt on her was painful, especially today, but he wouldn't take it away from her.

She had been so excited when she found it and realized it had belonged to her other father that she wore it to bed every night.

Akeila closed her book gently and placed it to the side in a way that he knew she was about to say something that was difficult for her.

"Is the Derek at your job the same Derek who's my other daddy?"

Spencer fastened the braids with pink bands and pulled his daughter to his lap.

"Yes Akeila. That's your other daddy."

Akeila nodded.

"Does he still not know about me?"

"No baby. He doesn't know. But I promise I'll tell him soon."

Akeila played with the nails of her right hand and bit her lip.

"Do you think he'll like me? Or play with me at the park? And go to the book store?"

Spencer smiled and kissed her head.

"I'm sure he'll like you. I don't know what he'll be able to do or not do, but who could not like you?"

Akeila smiled and snuggled into his arms.

"Will you tell him tomorrow daddy? Tomorrow is Friday and book day is Saturday. It's only polite."

Spencer felt his heart speed and had to swallow past the lump in his throat.

"Yeah, baby. I'll tell him tomorrow."

The next day Spencer woke with a feeling of dread in his stomach. He grabbed his to-go bag and paper work before grabbing a second bag. He filled it with photo albums labeled "Derek" and the black shirt that had become Akeila's.

Kissing his daughter and leaving a note for Tina, he left the apartment.

Derek was already in the office when he arrived. Steeling his resolve, he made his way over to the man.

"Derek?"

The man looked up and his eyes glazed over slightly before he gave Spencer a small smile.

"Spencer?"

Spencer smiled despite himself and his shoulders relaxed slightly.

"Can you... I mean... I have to discuss something with you. Would you like to go for a coffee? After work?"

Derek's eyes widened slightly in shock before he nodded.

"Yeah! Yeah, sure. Coffee."

Spencer nodded dumbly before making his way to his own desk.

Work for Derek wasn't any better then the previous day. His sleep had been filled with visions of Spencer and he'd woken up hard and aching at four In the morning. Even after a five mile run with Clooney he was the first to work. Well, Gideon was there, but he never left.

He busied himself with the case file that he was supposed to have finished the previous day until the elevator sounded.

He heard his name whispered and his mind instantly flashed to last night's dream.

He knew it was dangerous. Spencer was dangerous. Still he accepted the invitation to coffee.

The rest of the day was spent discretely watching Spencer and pretending to focus.

Spencer really was a snapple lid. He had to hide his smile as the man prattled on about everything from the history of coffee, to the importance of specific angles in a stapler. It would have gotten on his nerves, but every time he'd rant off facts Spencer's eyes would light up and he'd smile so brightly it looked painful.

The man also had a serious coffee addiction. He'd seen him refill his cup at least nine times, but instead of making him bounce off the walls, Spencer sat calmly helping Emily with a report.

When five finally rolled around Spencer stood uncertainly as Derek packed his bag.

Derek turned and gave him a reassuring smile.

"Is Starbucks okay with you? There's one around the corner."

Spencer nodded and they made their way in silence.

Once Derek had his black coffee, which was getting increasingly difficult to order, and Spencer had a Venti caramel frappuccino, they made their way to a booth.

"So what's this thing you wanted to talk to me about?"

Spencer fidgeted in his seat and Derek tried not to smile at how adorable it was.

"This is going to be awkward and difficult. You Don't owe me any favors, but I'm asking you to please just let me say it all before talking okay?"

Derek frowned but nodded and Spencer opened the bag next to him.

"Four years and seven days ago, it was my eighteenth birthday. My friend Ethan dragged me out to this bar where I met you."

Derek opened his mouth to protest, but closed it when he remembered his promise.

"We danced. After a while we went back to your place. 372 West Maple street. It was white. Blue shutters. We spent that night together and the next day when I woke up, you had already left. I accidentally took this."

Spencer reached into his bag and pulled out a t-shirt. Derek recognized it right away. It was his team shirt from football. They had them made when they took state. along the bottom hem "Morgan" was stitched In white lettering.

"I found out I was pregnant a few weeks later, and went to tell you, but your house had been sold and all I had of you was this shirt, your first name, and your address. You have a daughter. Akeila is your daughter."

Derek sat speechless for a long while, looking from Spencer to the shirt. There was no way the man was making it up. He knew his address and there is no other way he could have gotten this shirt. All of the sudden his fantasies were making a lot more sense. No, not fantasies. Memories. Something clicked in his head and he was speaking before he could stop himself.

"Were you wearing a t-shirt with a pi sign?"

Spencer laughed and nodded.

"Not my choice, trust me."

That's when everything else Spencer said finally sunk in. A daughter. He had a daughter. The little girl who looked like his sisters. Like him. He had a daughter who was beautiful and smart and he'd missed out on three years of her life.

As if sensing his thoughts Spencer reached into the bag and pulled out three thick books.

"I didn't know if I'd ever see you again, but I made these. Just in case. There's one for each year. The last is only half full."

Derek took the books and opened the first. It was full of photos with information next to each one.

'Akeila Amunet Reid.

4-17-01

6 lbs 3oz

21 1/2 inches'

He heard a choked sound and realized it had come from him.

"She's beautiful."