Hello my dears. I've had writers block like nobody's business. It's a little better though now. I knew where I wanted the next chapter to go… just wasn't sure how I was ever going to write a chapter long enough to serve as an actual chapter. This chapter is shorter than most, and I bet you anything that next chapter will be like… really long. I just needed a filler chapter between one sob story and the next.

Anyway, a super giant thank you to my Beta Stavanger1 :) She's done an awesome job—Again—with this chapter. Thank you so much Anne-Marie!

Bella woke up before Edward did the next morning. She glanced at the clock and groaned. It was only seven on a Sunday morning; so much for the day of rest.

She rolled on her side and faced Edward. He was sleeping peacefully and she could see the innocent and childlike appearance still remaining in his features. He had opened up so much last night. More than he had probably ever opened up before. She wasn't going to take advantage of that. She knew he felt different about her than he had most other girls, she felt the same about him. But Edward had proved it to her last night by telling her his darkest secret and his deepest feelings. Could Bella open up the way he had to her?

She watched him as he slept; all the cocky pretenses washed away by the innocence of complete honesty in his sleep. He was like a stray puppy in need of someone to love him and take care of him more than anything else. He needed someone to love him for who he was, someone who could help drown out the guilt he harbored. That unnecessary guilt he felt over things out of his control. He seemed to always take the blame for anything that went wrong in his world, and that was a hell of a lot to shoulder. No one man could do it, nor should they, not even Edward in all his perfection. But he wasn't perfect. He was the same as everyone else, only he had put up a brick wall and somehow Bella had been able to chip a crack into it. It wasn't much, but it was a start.

Bella stood and adjusted the shirt she had stolen from Edward last night. She wasn't really comfortable with wearing just her underwear all through Edward's penthouse apartment. She threw her jeans back on yet left his shirt on. She placed the collar next to her nose and took a deep breath, engulfing her senses in his scent. She smiled and proceeded back down the hallway. She didn't really want to snoop, yet she was curious about what she could discover inside his huge apartment.

She walked up the wrought-iron stair case slowly, feeling the texture of the cool metal on the soles of her feet and toes. Her head poked through the ceiling of the first floor and onto the second floor. She had done and entire three-sixty by the time she dismounted the staircase.

It was a library. Thousands upon thousands of books were stacked neatly on each shelf. There must have been thirty book cases in the place. Each case harbored 6 shelves and stood about eight feet tall. They were arranged back-to-back and bordered each wall. Ladders on wheels were placed at random intervals throughout the library, and wooden stools stood here and there.

In the center of the room sat a large mahogany desk with a leather top. It was an authentic librarian's desk with a gold book-lamp on the corner, a bucket of gold and black pens, wooden in-and-out paper tray and a stack of assorted books strewn across the top. A maroon wingback chair sat behind the desk, its crushed velvet still preserved to perfection. Two maroon, crushed velvet couches sat facing each other on either side of a glass coffee table in front of the desk, with books strategically placed on the side tables as well as on the coffee table. The room was lit by a few dim, yellow bulbs hung over the shelves, and by the lamps that sat on each side table. They whole library had a Victorian feel to it. The place felt like it had come right out of the 1850's.

Bella was in awe of the room. It was all she could have ever dreamed of. She loved books more than anything and had often wanted to write one but lacked the inspiration and the patience. Her fingers ran across the spines of novels on the shelves as she strolled towards the wingback chair. She sat down in the seat Edward himself must have sat in while he studied, and took the book he must have currently been reading into her hands; Through the Looking-Glass by Lewis Carol. This was the sequel to Alice in Wonderland; however it was quite different and made no reference to any events earlier on in the series. In fact, the book was quite the opposite from the first. Bella studied the cover. It was bound in red leather that was cracked and aged in several places. As she flipped open the first page and felt her eyes widened as she noted it was a first edition. This book alone must have been worth more than $3,000. She scanned the room, curious as to how much Edward had invested in this library. Apparently it was a lot.

"It was my sister's favorite book." Bella jumped. Edward was standing at the top of the stairs, still in his boxers and undershirt. His bed-head hair stuck up on one side in a crazed sort of Mohawk, yet he still managed to look like the most beautiful man in all of New York. Hell, in the entire continental US.

"I'm sorry…" Bella said quickly standing up and setting the book back in the exact spot she'd found it. "I didn't mean to pry. It's just—"

"It's alright, Bella. What's mine is yours," he interrupted.

"Seriously!" he added when he noticed her look of disbelief at his words. "You like books, don't you?" he hedged.

"Yes," she answered simply.

She looked back down at the desk and the first edition of Through the Looking-Glass.

"She liked it because near the end Alice becomes queen." He must have seen her confusion because he continued by saying, "My sister and Lewis Carol's character share the same name. As I would read Alice a chapter of the book each night she would sit there and picture it was her running after a white rabbit. It was always her favorite…," he trailed off, still looking at the book.

"What happened to her? To Alice, I mean."

Edward looked thoughtful for a moment.

"You know, when they say 'what goes around, comes around' they really aren't kidding," he said. This didn't really answer her question but rather raised a fair few more instead.

Edward didn't say anything else for a few moments. He walked over to a shelf and examined it for a moment, then pulled a book out. He sat down in the wingback chair and opened the novel. Bella wasn't quite sure what it was or who it was by, but she didn't feel like asking seeing as he was too lost in the world of literature. That was not something to interrupt after all.

She quickly skipped down the stairs and into the kitchen to throw on a pot of coffee or tea or something. She noted the stainless-steel coffee machine right away and made a beeline for it at end of the counter. She must have opened every drawer and cupboard in the apartment before she finally found the canister of coffee and the filters for the basket. The coffee was placed in the filter, which was placed in the basket, which was secured into the machine, where the button was pressed.

Bella glanced at the stove-top clock and found it was eight now, finally normal people time. She watched as the water percolated its way to the bottom of the basket and into the glass pot that sat on the burner. She was thinking about Edward and the hundreds of books he had up there. How come she never pictured him as a reader? Did he not seem the type? The answer was a resounding "No". He came across as more of a hands-on person, the type to seek out his own adventure instead of reading about it in a book. Yet the more Bella thought about it, he did seem like a reader.

Edward was turning out to be more than what she had expected. She knew the basics; who his favorite actor was, what his favorite music was, yet she didn't really know him. She found that she would be learning new and interesting things about him each and every day, and every day she would fall more and more in love with him until she would be positively overflowing with love for this magnificent creature of a man.

When you first fall in love, your brain usually tells you you're being foolish. When you fall in love with someone before you've met them, you're mind tells you it's on its way out because you've lost it. That's how Bella felt, like her brain moved out, like she'd lost her mind and all rational thinking.

She thought about how much she already loved Edward, though she barely knew him. She thought of how unreasonable love is and how she never really had a choice in the matter. You love who you love and that's that.

As if listening to her thoughts about him, Edward approached from behind and snaked his arms around Bella's waist. He planted a kiss on her neck and supported her as she leaned back into his chest.

"I think my clothes look better on you than they do on me." Edward's lips brushed over her earlobe as he whispered.

Bella craned her neck and caught his mouth quickly, capturing it in a sweet kiss. Her arm reached behind them and rested on the back of Edward's head, pulling him closer to her.

The coffee percolator beeped, causing Bella to jump and break the kiss. Edward chuckled and rested his head on her shoulder, his arms still encircling her waist. She opened the three cupboards above her and closed them again. She had no idea where anything was in this place.

Edward reached an arm up and pulled open the cabinet door that was one right of the one she was looking in. It housed the mugs and cups. Bella looked back at him and he smiled at her, a genuinely happy smile. He stared at her with such adoration and longing, Bella couldn't help but feel loved and venerated in his presence.

"What?" She wondered what that particular look on his face was about.

"Nothing," Edward smiled, "I'm just having a great day."

"It's only like, eight in the morning," she laughed.

"It's been a damn good hour and a half."

She smiled and kissed him again and his hands held onto her hips. She turned in his embrace so she was facing him and stood as high as she could on her toes—which wasn't really that high at all. Edward chuckled slightly and Bella could feel the laugh reverberate in the back of her throat. He held onto her waist and lifted her lithely so she was seated on the counter and they were on equal levels. She laughed and kissed his cheek.

"Is my height beginning to hurt your posture?" she asked playfully.

He sent a crooked smile her way and his eyes crinkled in amusement which made Bella's stomach tighten. He was so beautiful and didn't really even know it.

"Nah, I just don't want you to fall over again," he joked.

Bella just rolled her eyes and pushed his shoulder a little. He laughed out loud and the sound made her head spin. He should laugh more often, it was such a lovely sound.

They stared at each other for a moment just memorizing each others features. Bella loved his emerald green eyes, his angular, square jaw, his full lips, the way his eyebrow arched perfectly when he talked to her. She also loved the new-found tenderness on his face. The feature she had not seen at first. There was something about his face that made you feel safe and wanted. Something that made you feel warm inside even when it was cold out.

The one thing Bella didn't love about his face was the guilt that still lurked there. She could see it, just brewing under the surface. She hadn't quite known what it was before, but now she knew; it was guilt.

Edward didn't deserve to feel this way over things he hadn't done, yet Bella believed he was the kind of guy who would shoulder everything, no matter who had done it. She wanted to cleanse away all of his guilt, all of his fears, all of his worries, all of his troubles. Anything that made him unhappy she wanted to rid him of.

She leaned her forehead against his and closed her eyes, wrapping her arms around his neck. He took a step forward, standing between her legs, his hands on her waist.

"Bella," he muttered, "My beautiful, Bella."

She blushed and ran her fingertips up his neck and then back down again, running them under the neck of his shirt. He shivered but she knew he wasn't cold.

Bella raised her head from his and stared into his eyes. He stared back. The silence wasn't awkward and there was no tension in the air. His body relaxed against her touch and his hand came up to run across her cheek. They never broke their gaze and Bella knew they were both thinking the same thing.

"I love you," she mouthed silently at him.

"I love you," he mouthed back at her simultaneously.

It was the most intimate moment they had shared. There were no special effects needed to make this moment perfect. Her hands on his shoulders and his hands on her waist was all they needed. They fit together. They were right for each other. Bella didn't care to listen to her brain on this one, her heart was the dominate factor in this decision anyway, and her heart would never want anyone but Edward.

"Will you tell me something then?" Bella asked, leaning back.

"Anything," he said, pulling her hips in closer to him.

She smiled and pushed herself off the counter. She grabbed onto his hand and pulled him up the stairs behind her. She sat him down on one of the Victorian-style crushed velvet couches and looked deep into his perfect green eyes. They were like the color of emeralds, such a perfect green.

"What did you want to ask me?" Edward asked, almost laughing.

Bella stood from the couch but he remained seated. She ran her fingertips across the covers of the thousands of novels, just like she had in the morning. She loved the feel and the smell of books, of paper that was printed decades ago. She loved running her hands across the old leather-bound covers of books and up the creased spine of a well read volume. She could never actually crack the spine on a new book—the thought gave her shivers—but on old books it was almost customary to crease the spine. It showed that they were loved and read by many people, or even one person a hundred times. It didn't matter. As long as the words affected someone the way they were intended to be, then it didn't matter how many people had read the book. Five thousand people can read a single volume, but it won't mean a thing unless the book actually touches someone in a way that no other book has before.

Bella picked up an old copy of A Christmas Carol. The book was short, yet inspiring beyond many other books. The moral and message were the first of their kind, and the characters are famous to this day. Books were the one thing Bella could always trust. She had a few shelves in her room dedicated to books, yet Edward's collection put hers to shame many times over. She would love for him to let her borrow a few novels or let her come over and read.

Edward sat patiently on the sofa while she slowly scanned the shelf she was standing by. He didn't seem to mind waiting for her. He liked just being able to sit and observe her. He wanted nothing more than to discover the mystery of why she was so different, why he couldn't help but love her above all others.

Bella finally made her way to the desk. She slowly picked up the volume of Through The Looking-Glass and went to sit back on the couch. Edward narrowed his eyes when she sat, yet said nothing. She had a feeling he knew what she was going to ask as he was staring at the book held in her hands. The cover had no title; there was no way to be sure what book it was until you opened it to the first preliminary page. Yet Bella felt that Edward had memorized the exact patterns that the leather had randomly created in itself. She felt as though Edward had read this book more than a hundred times before and taken more out of it than anyone in history.

"What happened to your sister Edward? What happened to your Alice?" Bella tapped the cover with her finger as she asked this.

Edward's face became a mask of horror and guilt, and Bella began to wonder if she really should make him live all this again.

"I don't really want to talk about it," he muttered lightly. He was looking at the cover of the book, not at Bella.

"Is it really that bad? What happened to her Edward?" she asked again. She wouldn't ask him a third time; she didn't want to push him.

"It's a long story. I fear you might actually hate me after it."

"It's impossible for me to hate you. I'm here to listen if you want to tell me."

"You do deserve to know what you're getting yourself into." Edward nodded, completely serious.

"I know exactly what I've gotten myself into, and I'm not turning back," she replied rather stiffly.

"You shouldn't be so quick to make up your mind. You really have no idea of the things I've done," he said solemnly.

"I know you aren't bad," she whispered simply, placing one of her hands on top of his.

He just nodded again and stared at the book on her lap.

"I don't even know where to start," Edward said, sounding despaired.

Bella instantly felt badly for ever bringing up this particular subject.

"From the beginning?" she asked timidly.

"Yea, that would probably be best." He turned her hand over and placed it between his before looking into her eyes for the first time in a while. She wanted to take away the pain he felt and wash away the guilt, yet she needed to know why he was so ashamed of his past before she could even begin to wipe away the unnecessary feelings from him.

"I guess it started a little while after my mom died," Edward began.

So I dunno. Not my favorite chapter, but still. I loved it, frankly because of the fact that Bella loves books. I would love nothing more than to have a library in my house. Like a real library. I have about three shelves full of books at the moment. But to me, that's not nearly enough. I love to read almost as much as I love to write.

I started reading Through The Looking Glass as soon as I was finished with this chapter. Lewis Carol was a genius… a pedophile… but a genius. I love his work, despite his not so fresh history. I suggest you all read his books and poems. I also started a new book called Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen. It's fantastic. I think I'm going to start recommending books now each week. I read more than a book a week. :) You can skip over that part in the Notes but I think if some of you are true readers you'll go out and look these books up. Hey recommend any books you love. I'll most likely read them. I love to read, and I read anything.

Anyway, this has been a long and extremely exhaustive note. So send me a PM or a review with your favorite books. Or just send a review for no other reason than to amuse me in my hour of blatant suicidal thoughts as I complete my chemistry homework.

I'll update sometime after Friday. For I have finals soon and I really need to finish all this blasted homework. I hate senior year. -.-'

~Jamie