Beneath These Scars

Chapter 4

"So any trouble lately?"

"Nah, the leg is fine."

"And did you have any episodes since we last met?"

"Er, a small one. Just a slight hand twitch."

"And I suppose you ended up hitting yourself, thus this healing shiner I see, right?"

"Yea...something like that."

I smile sheepishly as Nurse gives me a questioning look. I had just returned from my lunch with Lilly and Hanako when I saw him just leaving the boys dorm. Evidently looking for me, he wanted me to come to his office to start our weekly inspections, every Saturday after class. I apologized profusely for my absence, but he waved it off, not expecting me to be sitting in my room until class starts again.

"Well at least you're not getting into fights on your first week here."

I smirk. "Nah, that's next week."

Nurse waggles his fingers. "Now now Mr. Getler. My job is hard enough without war injuries flying in my office."

We share a small laugh while he makes a few notes on his clipboard. I go about strapping my prosthetic to my leg. Nurse seems to like to joke with his patients, which I appreciate. I've had too many doctors examine me with deadpan tones and serious attitudes. It's nice to laugh with someone.

While I continue adjusting the straps, Nurse leans against his desk. "So how did you get the shiner? Did you bash your head?"

I shake my head. "Nah, I was reaching for a book when a jolt went through my arm. Book came flying down on my face."

"Ouch. What book?"

"Sherlock Holmes."

"Ah, a classical lover, are you? Well I hope it's a good read at least."

"Oh, wasn't for me."

Nurse raises his eyebrows. "Oh, and who did you risk you neck to get it for?"

"Erm..." I stop, not wanting to give out Hanakos name. I don't need further teasing from Nurse, especially about girls. And especially about girls I barely know. "Just...someone..."

"Oh, she must be cute then."

"What makes you that she is cute, or that it's a she for that matter?"

Nurse smiles his trademarked grins. "You blushed quite a bit when I mentioned that it may be a girl, which led me to believe it is a girl. And your still blushing now, which makes me believe that you do find her cute. It's all elementary."

I furrow my brows. Am I that easy to read? Then I start actually thinking about Hanako. Sure, she does have scars, but she does have nice hair. And beautiful skin. Even her eyes are quite nice. I shake the thoughts from my head. "We done here?"

"Sure thing. That jolt didn't seem to pose to much of an issue, rather than that bruise. These random jolts are pretty minor. It's normally the big seizures we have to watch out for. I don't see any problems with the leg, but we'll just wait until next week and see how things go."

"Okay then. So after class next Saturday?" I grab the cane and prop myself down from the examination bench.

"Sure thing."

"Alright, see ya then."

I make my way to the door, and Hanako props back into my mind. I can remember her jumping for the book, her calm nature when she thought no one else was around. I'm finally hit with the image of a small smile that

traced her lips as I made a dumb joke, or when we talked about our favourite books. Then one thing does cross my mind as I place my hand on the door.

Yea, she was pretty cute.

My cane clacks on the hard pavement as I walk down the sidewalk away from Yamaku. My plaid, button down shirt and blue jeans whip along me as I make my way toward the small town down the hill.

Sunday crept on me as I slept in. I grabbed a warm shower and sent my family a quick email, letting them know how I was. I had then decided to go into town to familiarize myself with it as well as doing a few chores,

haircut and groceries at the top of the list. I threw on some comfortable clothes, adjusted my leg for the long walk, took my pills and away I went.

The walk itself was fairly easy, only about 30 minutes. Even before my accident, I'd take long random walks through town. I had even done a few hiking trips where would camp out along the trails. The first thing I did

after I had finished physio was take a long walk along the park trails in my home town. Made all the practising for my leg and all the dull exercises worth it in the end.

I eventually reach the bottom of the hill and to the town proper. People pass by as they hurry their way through the crowds. I get a few odd stares from my cane and my odd walk, but I generally ignore them. I keep an eye out, and eventually spot a barber shop off the main highway. I step inside the empty waiting room, where a old man greets me profusely.

"Good afternoon good sir! How can I help you!"

"Hi there. Just looking to get a trim if you don't mind."

"Not at all! This way please! Your very lucky, as we're completely empty today!"

20 minutes later I walk out of the shop, My hair trimmed down quite short with only a little length on top. The barber thanks me enthusiastically for the 250 yen tip. This guy could give Misha a run for her money. Jeez that guy was waaaaaay to happy-go-lucky for his own good. My head feeling cooler from the lack of hair, I start taking in more of the town, noting a few stores along the way that may interest me. Book stores, video shops, even what I call a 'nerd stop' where you can find collectibles associated with nerds. I can't help but grin as I recall the large collection of board games I had acquired. Nothing beats a Friday evening than playing obscure board games at a local hobby store with your friends. If it hadn't been for Audrey dragging me there after nights

of begging...

I stop in place and look at the ground, tears and anger welling inside me. Tears for a lost friend. Anger for the hopelessness I felt at the entire situation. But more than anything, I felt fury at the one man who caused it all. The drunk driver had died from internal bleeding at the hospital, so now there wasn't anything or anyone I could vent my anger at. I breathe deep breathes, trying to calm myself.

Breathing deeply, I continue to walk. I decided I needed somewhere to sit, just to gather myself. Maybe grab a drink. Anything really just to forget this feeling of hopelessness. I spot a small, worn building, stylized in an old Japanese tea-house. I sign adorns the top with old, chipped paint. Shanghai, huh? Meh, better than nothing I suppose. I then gait my way to the door and push my way in.

The inside is just as I expected from the outside. Low tables adorn the center while booths line the walls, all made from an old looking wood. The booths look quite comfortable. The air gives off an eerie quiet feel, like a library or a church. I look around and only see a couple people. Must not be the most popular place.

"H-Hello, welcome to the S-Shanghai. How may I help you?"

I whirl around to see a familiar face peer at me.

"Yuuko?"

Her face is plastered with a look of recognition. "Oh, hello Mr. Getler!"

"Just call me Ryan. What are you doing here?"

She gives me a somewhat sheepish grin. "There's not enough hours at the library, so I work here part time."

I smile. "Oh cool. So do you guys have on menu toda-"

At the mention on a menu, Yuuko enters a frazzled state, where she starts bowing and apologizing all at once. "I'm sorry, I'm so s-sorry! It should have been the first thing I showed you and I was surprised that you even

came here and I didn't know if you even..."

"Woah, it's ok Yuuko, no worries." I smile and hold up my hands. She seems even more edgy here than she does at the library. "How about I just go grab a seat and you can just swing by with a menu, ok?"

My assurance that I'm fine seems to calm Yuuko down. "W-Would you like anything to drink."

"Some lemonade would be nice."

C-Coming right up."

Yuuko the scurries to the back to prepare the lemonade while I gaze around to look for a place to seat. My eyes then run across a familiar blonde head. I lean over and smile as I see an even more familiar head with dark hair that covers half her face.

I wave and call out. "Hey Lilly, hey Hanako."

Both girls turn to me as I call. Hanako visibly startles, but relaxes somewhat as she finds my smiling face. Lilly furrows her brow before recognizing my voice.

"Ryan?"

I make my way over. "The one and only. What's up?"

"We just stopped by for a cup of tea. What brings you out here?"

"Just getting to know the area a bit better. Also needed some groceries and what-not."

Lilly smiles. "What a coincidence, we were here for the same thing. Maybe you would like to join us?"

I look from Lilly to Hanako. She keeps her face away from me, but I can make out the barest hint of hope in her eyes. Looks like she wouldn't mind the company either.

I smile. "I sure would. You better be careful though, or I might start to think you actually enjoy my company!"

We share a small chuckle at my expense while Lilly waves her hand at me. "Nonsense, your quite nice to have around."

I smile. It's a nice feeling to have someone to talk to. Lilly slides over and I take a seat beside her. Hanako gives me a shy nod. I turn my head to her. "So you guys come here often?"

"Y-Yes, it's nice here. Quiet too."

"I can see that. It is quite nice."

My gaze travels around the room, gathering the little details in my head. Normally I'm not the one for coffee houses or small cafes, but this place almost seems more like a large living room, without the couches.

"I-I..."

I turn back to Hanako, who keeps toying with her hair as she keeps her gaze down. From what I can see of her face, she is blushing more than I've ever seen her before.

"I...l-like your haircut..."

A nervous smile creeps on my face as run my hand through my short hair. I wasn't the type of guy who got compliments from girls a lot. I notice my face get warmer as I blush a bit. "Thanks."

At that moment, Yuuko walks over with a tall glass of lemonade and a menu. I glance through it and quickly pick out a sandwich. The girls both order another tea and some strawberry cake. We chat away, mostly about classes and books we've read. Eventually Yuuko brings our food and we eat in silence. After she takes her empty plates, we leave enough money to pay the bill and a tip and walk out the door.

"So where are you two headed?"

"We were actually off to find some groceries. How about you?" Lilly asks.

"Pretty much the same."

"Well then, perhaps you would indulge us with your continued company?"

I smile. "So long as you'll have me, sure."

We make our way down the streets towards the end of town. I can't help but notice how Hanako practically clings to Lilly as she guides her way down the sidewalk, her cane scanning for any obstacles. Hanako darts her head away every time we pass by someone. I can't help but frown at the situation. She seems at a total loss when she's outside her small circle of people she knows, and even then she is extremely shy. I wish I could say or do something to help, but in the end I just walk along. She notices my frown and how my eyes dart to her, and what crosses her face is one of shame and embarrassment. I barely know this girl other than the few times we've talked, and yet I can't help but feel terrible for her. Something as simple as a conversation is a great strain for her, and I don't want to put her in more of a bad spot than she is now. I'm still a stranger to her, and that means that I'll almost never get her to open up unless she is the one to start it, and her shyness is almost a guarantee that will never happen. A vicious circle whirls around and around.

We reach a small convenience store, where Lilly puts away her cane and grabs a basket. She holds unto Hanako, I assume so she can navigate the store easier. Hanako seems all too eager for the closeness of her friend. The girls set off in a practised routine, where Hanako would describe what was around and on sale. Lilly would take her friends advice and place whatever she thought necessary into her basket. Hanako would also place several items she would want as well. I mill about the place, mostly picking up sandwich makings, cans of pop, milk, and various other odds and ends. I also pick up a few packs of rice and beef. I'm normally not into rice, but I may as well give it another shot if I'll be here for a while.

We pay for our things and head back toward the road that would take us back to Yamaku. I notice the girls have quite a bit more than I do. I hold out my hands. "Here, I can take those if you want."

Lilly smiles. "My my, aren't you turning to be quite the gentleman."

"Bah, it's all a sham I tell you."

"Well if you insist."

She hands me her bags. Hanako gives me a wide look. I give her a smile, and she relaxes a bit and gives me her bags. I fumble around a bit with all the extra bags as well as my cane. It proves too much weight to hold all the bags in one hand while walking with my cane, and it proves equally difficult to have the extra bags clunking against it. I hold my cane out to Hanako. "Would you mind holding this?"

"D-don't you n-need it?"

"I should be fine for a bit. Just need to take it a bit slow."

She hesitantly grabs it, and we begin to walk. Lilly has a somewhat curious look on her face, but says nothing. I imagine that she's wondering why I use a cane, as she can't actually see me. I hope she doesn't ask about it. I decide to try and strike up a conversation with her to hopefully put it out of her mind. "So Lilly, I can't help but notice that your quite tall for a girl. Is your entire family Japanese?"

"My, aren't you being a bit forward there Ryan?"

"If memory serves, you were the one who first pointed out that I had an accent as thick as mud, so I had to be

the transfer student."

She giggles. "I suppose I did. Well, I am in fact half Japanese, half Scotish."

I raise my eyebrows. "Really?"

Lilly nods. "Yes. My father is Japanese and my mother Scottish. He met her on a business trip and was married shortly after. And what about your parents?"

"Mom was a nurse, Dad a paramedic. I guess they had something in common. Got married, had 2 kids, then got divorced. Nice and tidy, I guess."

Lilly seems uncomfortable with my frankness. She steers the conversation away. "You have a sibling?"

"Yea, a younger sister. Judy. Plays the trumpet with the high school band."

Lilly nods at my assessment. I guess she expected for me to talk more, but I've always been more direct about things. My mom would often joke I'm as subtle as a neon sign in an Amish farm.

We continue to walk up the hill, chatting mildly about family, where I learn Lilly's parents currently live in Scotland, and she was sent here on the count of her blindness. Hanako is unusually quiet, even for her. She has a hard look in her eyes, like she's trying to forget everything that's going on around her and focusing all her attention on the road ahead. I decide to try to bring her out of her funk. "So Hanako, what do you paren-"

I never get the chance to finish my sentence. Whether from the lack of cane, the extra bags making walking awkward, or the constant slope upward, my leg seems to have been constantly slipping within the straps of my prosthetic leg. My sentence was interrupted by the sudden jerk of my leg slipping out. A straps cling on, but my leg mostly dangles limply.

"Ah God Dammit!"

Lilly and Hanako turn around and look at me, a mixture of curiosity and concern spread amongst their faces. Hanako steps over to me, noticing the odd limp way my leg dangles under my jeans. "A-Are you ok?"

"Yea, sorry. Just my leg screwed up a little. One moment please."

I hobble over to the nearby guard rail along the side of the road. I set the bags down and lean against the guard rail. I then roll up my leg sleeve to reveal my prosthetic. Some of the straps have indeed slipped on my legs, and I begin work on resetting it. While I begin my task, I hear a faint gasp.

My upturned gaze shows both Lilly and Hanako looking at me. Lilly is concerned for what has transpired, although is unaware of what the problem is due to her blindness. Hanako stares at me with wide eyes, or more accurately at my leg. I realize that I haven't mentioned my leg at all. The cane is really the only indication anything wrong with my leg, and even my pant leg covers it up pretty well.

I put on a pained smile, trying to cover the awkwardness that my leg ensued. I decide on the only course of action that I always use; humour.

"OH GOD, WHERE'S MY LEG?!"

From both their reactions, I can tell this was a huge mistake. Lilly's expression goes wide, not understanding what's going on. Hanako's is nothing short of terror. I sigh. I guess humour doesn't always work.

"Yea sorry about that. I lost my leg recently in an accident, so I use this prosthetic to help get around. Sometimes the straps slip out though, so I have to reset them every now and then."

Lilly nods her assessment of the situation. Hanako calms down somewhat, but still seems to be at a nervous edge. "I-It's okay. Just d-didn't expect it is a-all."

"Well, I suppose I didn't help that much with my stupid jokes."

"I-It's fine."

After a few brief adjustments and a few good stretches to make sure everything's in place, we continue our journey up the hill. I can feel the awkward silence in the air as we say nothing. Only the slight clicking of Lilly's cane breaks the silence. I try to think of something, anything, to chat about, but in the end I give up on the idea. I guess I can still weird people out with my leg, even here.

We reach the school in the late afternoon. I walk the girls to the front of their dormitories, which is across the campus from mine. I hand the girls each their bags while Hanako hands me my cane. The silence continues for some time, neither of us sure what to say. I can't help but feel responsible for the awkward air between us. If I hadn't shown my leg, or joked about it for that matter, we wouldn't be standing here in silence. I sigh and rub the back of my neck.

"Look, I wanna apologize for earlier, about my leg. I realize I may haven't really said much about...why I am here, and I didn't mean to just drop it down on you like a bombshell."

Lilly smiles sincerely. "It's quite alright Ryan. Some of us are still learning to live wish our disabilities. What startles me was the fact that you were so...jovial about it."

I frown. "Jovial?"

"It means joking or merry."

I nod, understanding the meaning. "Well, it's not exactly something I'm pleased about, but moping around about it doesn't help me. Besides, people give me funny looks when they see my leg. Joking about it seems to make people feel easier about it." I frown. "At least most of the time anyway."

"I-its o-okay."

I turn to Hanako. This is the first time she even looked at me since I showed her my leg, let alone talked to me. Her expression shows understanding, but underneath I sense a little concern behind her deep, violet eyes. I haven't realized how much I may or may not have affected her, but in the brief periods of our companionship, I seem to have grown a little on her, or at least enough that she can be concerned for my well-being. I flash her a sincere smile, and she blushes a bit and turns to Lilly. "W-we should p-probably go..."

Lilly nods to Hanako, then to turns to me. "Well thank you for coming along with us."

"My pleasure. See ya."

Hanako nods and both girls turn to their dorms while I turn to mine. I begin to gait my way back, my bags clenched in my hand and my thoughts murky with regret. Why the hell did I have to make that stupid ass joke? Dammit, now they're gonna avoid me, in case I do something else to make things more awkward.

Hurried steps behind me grab my attention and shake me from my self-punishing thoughts. I turn to see Hanako walking quickly behind me to catch up. I stop and wait for her. When she finally arrives, she looks at me with her usual wide eyes, but also blushes more than usual. I frown. "Something wrong?" I left my bag. "Did I take something by accident?"

She shakes her head. "N-N-No, not t-that. I was j-just w-wondering...i-if...t-that is i-if y-y-you wanted-d t-to..."

I raise my brow in confusion. "If I wanted to what?"

Hanako shuffles her feet, trying to find the words that she wants to say. She rubs her arm, embarrassed by her inability to say what she wants. She breathes deeply, the suddenly explodes.

"Doyouwanttohavelunchwithmean dLillytomorrow?"

It takes me a moment for my brain to decipher the instant question she asked. I then smile as I finally come to the realization of what she wants.

"Sure, that is if you can stand my bad jokes." I instantly regret saying that, thinking that more bad jokes are the last thing I should be doing. To my relief, Hanako smiles a bit.

"T-they're n-not all that bad."

"If you say so. So same place as before?"

"Y-yes."

I nod. "Okay then, I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you."

We both turn to leave to our respective dorms. I can't help but turn my head to get a glance at Hanako, and I notice her looking back at me. Both of us have grins plastered on our faces, albeit mine quite a bit larger than hers. I wave to, bags dangling from my hand. Her smile broadens and she walks back to her dorms. I turn heel and follow suite to my dorms.

All in all, a pretty damn good day.

Holy furious fanfiction, Batman! Another chapter of everyone's favorite fanfiction: Beneath These Scars! So I just wanna explain that I will be using events from the main story line, but will be actually making up quite a few myself. SHENANIGANS WILL ENTAIL! I also wanna thank everyone who follows this work and give me critiques. I thoroughly appreciate them and a will take them to heart, even if you make fun of me. I'll just cry myself to sleep. anyway. Also note that I maybe changing the actual dates of when I update this, so the next chapter maybe be early or late. Anyway, enjoy!