Sorry about getting this update out a little late today :/

I'll see you all at the bottom.

Oh fuck didn't even begin to cover it.

The worst possible thing that could have happened on this shit night had just come to fruition.

"Edward?" Bella's voice rung out again.

I sure as hell couldn't just stand here. But really? What the fuck could I say?

'Hey, I'm a Tooth Fairy.' Yeah, somehow I doubted that shit would fly.

Slowly but surely, I turned around. I kept my eyes to the ground in fear that if I actually looked at her, she'd fucking turn me to stone.

"What the fuck are you doing in my daughter's bedroom?"

I could actually feel the bitch closing in on me, and if she didn't lower her voice, I was going to have not just one, but two giant ass problems on my hands.

"Well, are you going to answer me or are you just going to fucking stand there, you fucking pervert?!"

Fuck.

This.

Shit.

I'd been a part of this beautiful little girl's life since she'd been born, and a part of Bella's for even longer. For her to accuse me—in a way—of what she just did both pissed me off and hurt my heart.

I may think of Bella to be the bitch that she is, and yeah, I wanted to fuck her brains out just for the sake of saying I had, but that didn't mean I didn't have feelings.

I know what you're thinking, but seriously? Think about it. What woman in their right mind would ever consider dating a guy whose night life consisted of dressing like a pink fairy drowned in glitter?

Right.

Taking my chances and looking up to meet her eyes for the first time, I took a step forward, my ankle screaming at me in fucking protest from having rolled it when I fell moments ago.

"Lower your fucking voice, Swan."

"We're in my house, Edward; I'll speak as fucking loud as I want to. Why the fuck are you dressed like that?"

"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," I warned, sliding my hand into the bag of fairy dust. I hated using this shit simply because it left glitter on my palms for several nights after, and also acted as an aphrodisiac…at least for me it did.

Hence the reason my dick literally had glitter permanently embedded in it. Good old right hand.

Fuck, forget I just said that.

Anyway, the purpose of using the dust was to wipe her memory clean, making it as though I was never there and this shit had never happened. It would also knock her the fuck out.

"Emmett put you up to this, didn't he?" she hissed, her eyes narrowed. And I'm pretty fucking sure there was steam coming from her ears.

"Emmett?" I asked, confused as to how she'd come to that conclusion.

"He told you about Emily losing a tooth and put you up to coming and collecting it, right? Because if that's not it, I swear, I'm calling the fucking cops."

"Right, and you think I'd go along and dress like this just for the sake of grabbing a fucking tooth?"

Then I saw as her eyes enlarged—I seriously thought they were going to pop out of her fucking skull. Her eyes were glued to the general region of my fucking tutu, and when I glanced down to see that the aphrodisiac effect of the dust had already set it, Bella's eyes filled with rage.

My blasted, traitorous cock had pitched a fucking tent beneath the tutu. Here's the problem with that though: because of the damned leotard and tights, my dick had nowhere to go but off to the side.

So in other words, Bella was provided with prime view of what probably looked like a turtle's head peeking out from its shell against my fucking thigh.

Knowing she was about to fucking explode on me, I acted fast and fucking chunked a fist full of dust at her face, before bolting out little Emily's window.

Not a good move.

Emily's room was on the second floor of the house.

I could hear Bella fucking coughing and cursing as I extricated myself from the bushes along the side of her house, the branches scratching my arms and tights all to shit.

Tomorrow night, I was paying my dear old man a visit, and so help me, he was going to pay me overtime for the shit I'd been through tonight.

*~TT&ABOFD~*

I didn't get a bit of sleep last night. In fact, I'd been here at The Line, working on today's paper since four o'clock this morning.

I don't know why the fuck the situation surrounding Bella last night had me so anxious, but it did.

And what was worse? I hadn't seen her this morning, and it was already noon. Jessica, the whiny bitch up front, told me that she'd seen her in the break room for coffee earlier and that she looked like shit.

On a normal day, I'd have called her into my office just to check on her…in my own asshole-ish way.

Today, I said fuck it. Instead, I took the chicken shit way out of it. I called Emmett.

"Edward, my man, what's up?"

"I haven't seen Bella this morning. Is everything okay?'

"Really? Dude, I dropped her off at work this morning. She's not feeling too hot. This morning she was talking about some fucked up dream she had."

"Dream?" I questioned, nervous as to what he was about to say, but then, a shadow appeared on my left, looming over me.

I knew just from the tapping of the shoe that it was her.

"Uh, hey, Em? She just walked in. I'll call you back."

As I placed the phone back in the cradle, I slowly turned my chair to look at her and when I did, I half screamed and scrambled to get out of my chair and away from...it.

Her hair was a hot fucking mess, but that wasn't the half of it. Her nose was swollen and red, her eyes bloodshot and puffy. She literally looked like she'd been bitch slapped by a bulldozer while being simultaneously electrocuted.

"Jesus, Swan! What the hell happened to you?"

"I don't know, Edward! Why the fuck don't you tell me? What was that shit you threw in my face last night?!" she shouted, her nose stuffy and eyes twitching.

Oh. Shit.

This was not happening. Fuck! This wasn't possible! She wasn't supposed to remember anything!

I ran a nervous hand through my hair as it came closer, glaring down at me.

"After you took your flying leap out of my six year old daughter's bedroom dressed like a fucking powder puff, I was up all damn night with a fucking allergic reaction that even the strongest dose of Benadryl couldn't cure!" she hissed, leaning over and putting her face within inches of mine.

At any other time, with her looking fucking normal, I'd have totally been all over her shit, but now, all I felt was the need to piss, shit and vomit. And with my luck, it would happen all at once.

I turned my eyes back to hers and waited for her next rant.

"Now tell me Tink, what the fuck did you throw at me last night? And why were you hovering over my daughter's bed last night, dressed the way you were with a fucking boner?!"

So I said the only thing I could think of.

"Exactly why were you looking at my dick?"

Oh boy...he's in for it now!

Thank you all so much for your reviews! They've entertained me for sure LOL!

Until tomorrow...

Leave some love!

T