Datboi79 the dis, I had to look up what you meant I was so confused XD, yes I am. (Can I ask why you wanted know? I'm not offended or anything I'm just curious)
Chapter 4 – Out in the Country
"i can't believe they made us do this." Sans muttered, glaring out his side of the convertible automobile. "Believe it." You said dryly, waving at the crowd of people with a forced smile on your lips once more. "how much longer do we gotta do this?" Sans growled, looking at the sea of people crowding the sidewalks.
You shrugged "No idea, but if it doesn't stop soon, just kill me." Sans snorted "no thanks, i'd rather not risk being dusted by the scariest boss monster in the underground." In the front of the car, the driver let out a loud sigh "The both of you are being ridiculous!" He groaned, "We'll be out of the designated parade area in another 5 minutes!"
You and Sans turned a slight pink out of embarrassment and returned to gazing out the windows. Apparently, fifteen whole minutes of complaining about working the crowd had grated on the driver's nerves enough to make him patronize the two of you.
Turning your attention back to the sidewalk, you tried to see if you recognized anyone. Your eyes scanned the crowds, everyone waving excitedly as you passed by…well, mostly everyone.
Every so often you found a single person or a group of three to five people 'boo-ing' at you, waving protest signs (small ones) or giving you a thumbs-down (as well as some other rude gestures). You always scanned right over them, pretending not to notice, even if you felt the urge to at least stick your tongue out at them.
You knew not everyone was going to agree with this marriage (you and Sans dibbed for top two), but they could at least act like something more than a bratty 3 year old!
Pushing away thoughts of the protestors, you resumed looking out the window -no, wait!- side of the car (it was still hard to remember this was a convertible and technically didn't have windows).
You were kinda hoping to see some of the kids from Viano -the local elementary where you often volunteered at. The week the king had officially announced your engagement to Sans, the kids had automatically began calling you "Princess (Y/n)" (much to your immense chagrin).
And as a result, they had demanded you to direct a Princess Wave, a Princess Smile, and a Princess Kiss all in their direction as you passed by them if you saw them after the wedding.
The car had already passed the school, and you had seen none of the kids in the school yard. No doubt the school declared they all show up for school for the first half of the day, then took them all to the park before releasing them home.
The park was closer to the center of town, but from the route you thought the driver was taking, you might end up getting close enough to see the park. Sure enough, towards the end of the promised five minutes, you passed by the park to see a group of kids suddenly begin jumping, shouting and waving at you.
The sight of the kids warmed your heart, making your forced smile become a genuine one and made you want to stop the car, run over and give them hugs. Unfortunately, the kids were on Sans' side of the car, which meant you had to send them all the requested expressions leaning over Sans' barely contained snarl.
Deciding to put on a brave face and just get it over with, you straightened your back, lifted your hand, and channeled your inner Disney Princess. Once the kids started squealing louder, Sans turned to you, rolled his eyes and glared lightly.
As retaliation, you simply widened your grin an exaggerated your waving.
The drive-by lasted only a few seconds, so you barely had time to throw them a quick kiss before the driver turned the corner and exited the designated parade roads.
As soon as he was out, the driver resumed normal driving speed -but since you were the only ones on the road, he went past the speed limit a bit- and began driving towards the cottage reserved for you and Sans.
"seriously?" Sans asked you, raising an unimpressed brow ridge. You raised an eyebrow in challenge "What?" You asked, crossing your arms. Sans just huffed, annoyed, crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, effectively annoying you.
You rolled your eyes at him and copied his pose, staring out the side of the car, wishing this would be a dream even though you knew 100% it wasn't. What was his problem? You were just waving and smiling at some kids!
Besides, this was probably the first time you genuinely smiled all day! Sor-ry if you preferred the company of kids to adults! Heck! You'd prefer the company of a bratty 6 year old to this skeleton beside you!
You sighed to yourself, this was going to be a long lifetime…
The drive to the cottage was less than a half hour (Makiisa was a pretty small kingdom), but it felt like an eternity to you, Sans, and the driver. Every so often, the driver -Ed as you learned his name was- would ask a question in an attempt to make small-talk to ease the awkwardness of the atmosphere.
You had tried to be polite and answer his questions, but at one point Sans made it very clear he didn't want to talk and told the driver to keep his eyes on the road and his mouth shut. (He was a bit more eloquent with his language when he said this, though).
You had shot Sans a fierce glare which he returned with one of his own, and you two held a glaring contest for good minute before the two of you gave up and went back to glaring out your side of the car for the remainder of the ride.
"Cottage, ho!" Ed said finally, nodding towards a house coming up on the horizon. "that's it?" Sans asked, clearly unimpressed, sighing you said "No, Sans, the rest of the cottage is across the lake next to it." Sans sent you a lazy glare and rolled his eyes again.
Ed laughed "Sorry, lady, but the lake's been dried up for a few months now." He said, referring to the lake that was located next to the house. "They had to drain it a while back cuz of some kind of poisoning or something," You and Sans exchanged a hesitant look "Well that's a comforting thought" You commented dryly.
"Ah, don't worry about it much, lady." Ed chuckled good naturedly "I hear there's pretty good camping spots around, and I think this place has a stable around and –"
"did we ask you for a tour, pops?" Sans hissed, snarling lightly at the driver. You shot Sans another glare "Sorry, Ed" You said, still glaring "Thank you for giving us some idea of what we can do while we're out here since we can't swim."
"whoa, whoa, what's the 'we' stuff?" Sans snapped "i didn't sign up for this –" He gestured to you and him "-any more than you did. so i ain't doin' nothin' unless i wanna, capiche?" You rolled your eyes "Duh!" You said, crossing your arms "But that doesn't mean you can't be nice to him!" You said, gesturing to Ed who was currently wishing to Queen Clarice on high that you two wouldn't bring him into this.
"ooohh, sorry, majesty!" Sans taunted "i didn't realize i hurt his feelings!" You grit your teeth "It's not a matter of hurting his feelings, stupid! You're being rude!" Sans feigned being hurt and clasped his hands over where his heart -if he literally had one, that is- would be.
"oohh no, i was rude to someone! i can practically feel my sins crawling on my back!" Sans mocked "not!" You growled and glared at him, with him returning the glare just as fiercely.
Just as you opened your mouth to retort, Ed slammed on the breaks "WE'RE HERE!" He bellowed, making a grand gesture at the wooden-cabin styled home. You and Sans winced at his loud voice and braced yourselves on the seats in front of you when he braked. Sending one last glare at each other before exiting the vehicle, Sans marched straight up to the door, not even saying 'thank you' to Ed.
Sending one last glare at him, you turned to Ed and smiled, shaking his hand. "I'm so sorry you had to put up with us for this long," You said kindly, Ed looked as if he barely remembered to not roll his eyes, but smiled and shook your hand. "Understandable given your situation," He said.
You sighed in relief "I'd tip you, but I'm afraid this dress doesn't have pockets." Ed seemed to laugh genuinely at that one and waved his hand "It's fine, if you really want to you can pay me back when you get back to town." He handed you a card and you took it, nodding gratefully. "I will!"
Ed opened his mouth to say something, but was interrupted by a loud THWACK followed by Sans shouting angrily at the door. "SOMEBODY OPEN THIS STUPID DOOR!" You rolled your eyes "IT'S LOCKED, GENIUS!" You shouted, earning a glare from Sans.
Ed sighed and pulled a set of keys from the glovebox compartment "I was about to say 'here's the keys to the place'." He tossed them to you and you caught them, "Thanks!" You say, moving around his car so you could head up the steps. You both waved good-bye and the car roared to life and zoomed away, leaving you with a raging skeleton.
"HURRY UP AND OPEN THE DOOR!" Sans barked, snapping your head to his direction, you placed a hand on your hip and twirled the keys in your hand "What's the matter? Scared of nature?" You taunted.
Sans growled and rolled his eyes "don't be stupid, stupid!" He gestured to the tuxedo that he was wearing "what i want to do is get out of this stupid monkey suit!" He clawed at his collar for emphasis.
You gave him a shrug, you could relate (not that you'd say it out loud). This dress was pretty, but it was also restricting and itchy, deciding not to torture him, you pitched him the keys which he caught hastily and shoved them in the lock before dashing inside.
"ey! miss princess! where's the closet in this dump?" You heard Sans shout from inside "How am I supposed to know!?" You hollered back "This is the first time I've been here too, ya know!" You heard Sans blow a raspberry at you before hearing the thumping of feet as he speed-walked through the house.
Stepping inside, it looked as if someone had tried to stay true to a classic log cabin but also wanted everything shiny. The door opened to reveal the living room on the left side and the kitchen on the right with no wall separating them.
The floor was wood -obviously- but you weren't sure if this was authentic or the cheap kind but over-laminated. Your eyes drifted to the living room where a…closet looking thing (an armoire, your brain told you) was. Curious, you closed the door behind you and opened the doors, revealing a small flat-screen TV inside.
"Dibs on couch!" You shouted to Sans who had moved upstairs, still searching for a closet and some extra clothes. You moved around looking for the remote when you heard a loud shout come from upstairs. "Sans?" You called out, suddenly concerned.
"Sans!?" You called again after hearing more loud shouting coming from upstairs. Fear gripped your heart and you ran upstairs, gathering your dress in one hand and your other making a fist, planning on using it to punch someone if needed.
Once upstairs, Sans' yelling sounded like it was coming from the master bedroom at the end of the hall. Running inside, you expected Sans to be in the middle of a fist fight with someone or something by the way he was shouting, but instead you ran in on him with an extremely upset expression on his face huffing angrily at a shirt he held in his hands, with even more T-shirts and dress shirts scattered around the floor.
"DANGIT PAPYRUS, I SWEAR TO KING ASGORE ONCE I GET MY HANDS ON YOU I'M GONNA –" He stopped mid rant to throw the shirt to the ground and went for the nearest phone which was the landline next to the bed. "Er…Sans?" You asked, putting your fist down, "Are you…are you okay?"
"I'M JUST DANDY!" Sans bellowed, throwing his arm in the air while the other held the phone to his head (how'd he hear without ears?). "Ooooo….kay?" You said, raising an eyebrow. You entered the room, making sure to step over or shove aside any shirts on the floor as you made your way to the closet.
It was half-filled with shirts hanging on one side that was a small collection of your wardrobe from back home (No doubt transported here while the wedding was in place). "Oh sweet!" You exclaimed, reaching in the closet "Sweatpants and a tank top!" You took the two garments out and glanced at the mess Sans just made.
I hope he knows he has to clean that up. You thought idly, speaking of which…
You suddenly remembered Sans was on the phone, well, more like he was waiting impatiently, but still. His face was scrunched up in an angry pout, he had the free hand on his hip and one of his feet was tapping impatiently on the wooden floor.
"I'm gonna go change out of this outfit in the bathroom." You told Sans, gesturing to the hallway "what'cha tellin' me for?" He snapped "want me to join ya or sumthin'?" Your face contorted into a hard glare "No, you dummy! I'm telling you so you don't walk in on me!" With that said, you stomped down the hall peeking into each room to find the bathroom.
Upon locating it you went inside, slammed the door and locked it. Geez! What was his problem!? Honestly, that comment was completely uncalled for! Your face turned red with anger as you began wrestling yourself out of the dress.
You continued to internally rant about the jerk-ness of Sans when you couldn't reach one part of the zipper to get it off you. Huffing in annoyance, you briefly considered cutting your way out of the dress, but then decided it wouldn't be worth it to go broke trying to repair this thing. Another thought was to go out and get Sans to help, but that thought was dismissed twice as quickly as the previous one.
"ARE YOU KIDDING ME, BOSS?!" You heard Sans shout from the master bedroom "YOU GOT ME A WHOLE NEW WARDROBE BECAUSE OF THAT REASON?!" Ah, so that was what ticked him off, a completely new wardrobe?
You glared at the door in Sans' general direction, this entire tantrum he was throwing was over his clothes?
"YEAH, IT IS A BIG DEAL!" Sans bellowed into the phone, he suddenly switched into another language, and you became surprised by the sudden language switch.
(*)"YOU KNOW THE SHIRT AND FLUFFY JACKET ARE PART OF MY FANON APPEARANCE, YOU CAN T JUST MESS WITH THAT!" He shouted in the strange language. You halted your attempts to free yourself from the dress in slight fear.
You prayed silently that it was the stress getting to him and he never spoke like that to you. Not that you'd take it lying down, but you never liked it when someone yelled at you or was angry with you.
Shoving that fear aside, you continued switching outfits, finally undoing that zipper. After about 3 minutes of struggling, you finally managed to free your rib cage from the overly popular corset known as a 'wedding dress' and into the tank top and sweat pants you had grabbed earlier.
Now in something comfortable that allowed movement, you began taking down your hair. It was in a complicated style with at least a million and a half bobby pins and clips, and you swore you felt some rebars in there too.
It took another 10 minutes -at least- filled with random bursts of shouting in that strange language from Sans before you finished putting your hair down. Next to go was your make-up, and you suddenly wished you had your phone so you could play some music to cover up Sans' shouting.
Massaging your head, you decided you've heard enough of the shouting, and decided to look for your phone which was…right.
You still hadn't had a chance to explore the house to see if your phone was even in the house. You'd assumed it was cuz your clothes were already here, but that meant you'd half to walk aimlessly around till you found it.
Sighing, you walked out of the bathroom, one hand massaging your head and the other on your hip as you walked around, trying to look for it as Sans continued to rage on. You debated whether or not you should head into the master bedroom while Sans was still ranting, but ultimately decided against it after a louder shout of anger.
You decided to save that room for last and opted to search the lower level first. Luckily, you found it in the kitchen on the bar-looking thing, plugged in at the end next to another phone which you assumed was Sans'.
Grabbing your phone, you internally debated whether or not you should hand Sans his phone. Half of you wanted to not and just let Sans figure out where his phone was, but the other half told you the phone could be used as a peace treaty between the two of you.
Huffing to yourself, you stuffed your phone in your sweatpants, grabbed Sans' phone and its charger and headed back upstairs.
Hopefully this peace treaty would work out better than the one currently going between your two kingdoms….
Note: For those of you who want to know what Sans said in WingDings:
(*) "YOU KNOW THE SHIRT AND FLUFFY JACKET ARE PART OF MY FANON APPEARANCE, YOU CAN'T JUST MESS WITH THAT!"