A/N: I think this'll be the last chapter I write before I post. Enjoy!
Book 1: The Elric Family Photo
§ - Chapter 3: Mama - §
-Early Morning, 12 April 1920-
Ed awoke from a small noise. His heart skipped a beat when he saw Pride looming in his open doorway.
Adrenalin rushed, his heart pounded, and he almost jumped to action before he realized that it was Selim, not Pride per se, standing bashfully at the room's entrance. Nevertheless, his violent response woke his wife from her slumber, and she ultimately spoke first of the three.
"Is everything alright, Selim?" she asked the boy.
Selim shifted for a moment before admitting, "I had a scary dream, Miss Winry."
Edward had the uncomfortable feeling that he knew what was coming next.
His wife gently answered the timid child, "Would you like to stay in here tonight?
Of course, thought Ed.
Selim nodded shyly, and Winry motioned him in.
Of course, thought Ed.
Rather unceremoniously, Selim climbed into the bed and, unexpectedly, grabbed on to Edward's arm. Like before, Ed was not sure what exactly to do. Luckily for him Selim was asleep almost instantly, giving him a free pass.
Maybe I should stop being surprised, he remarked internally as his body relaxed from the fright and he began returning to sleep.
-Morning, 12 April 1920-
When Edward woke up, he felt something wrapped around his arm. Recalling the events of the night, he turned to see Selim in the exact same position as before. Seeing as getting up fifteen minutes before the probably-former homunculus would be impossible, Ed allowed himself the luxury of a few extra minutes in bed. Selim stayed unconscious for longer than normal. Maybe he was extra tired from his unsettling nightmares. Regardless, he was still asleep when Winry began to stir.
Dozily sitting up, she looked at the boy hanging onto her husband and said with a smile, "How cute."
At the sound and motion, Selim began to wake as well, and he rolled away from Ed, waking up to Wiry looking down at him.
Still only half conscious, he smiled at her and said, "Good morning, Mama."
Selim woke up, his mind still cloudy from sleep, and saw a familiar woman watching him.
"Good morning, Mama," he told her.
Her eyes went wide with surprise, and he was confused why. He had just said good morning. As both his visual and metal acuities became less fuzzy, he realized what just emerged from his mouth, and with it came a tidal wave of emotions. For one thing, he was frightfully embarrassed, knowing full well that Miss Winry was not Mama. With embarrassment naturally came shame at having made such a stupid mistake. Beyond his embarrassment and shame, and increasingly strong pang of guilt throbbed in his heart. He felt a sense of betrayal, having given to someone else the name reserved for Mama. It only built as he realized that over the last two or three days, he had hardly even thought about Mama.
Unable to help himself, tears began to fall from his eyes. He wanted to hug Mister Edward again, but that was Mama's job. He clambered of the bed and ran into his room. Burying his face in his own pillow, he cried and cried until he heard a voice.
"Selim?"
He lifted his head up. It was Mister Edward.
The man came over and sat on the bed a little ways away from him.
"Selim, what's wrong?" asked Mister Ed softly.
Selim sniffled and sat up. "I called Miss Winry 'Mama'," he said, "but she's not my Mama." Then, much quieter, "I want my Mama back."
Selim inquired of Mister Edward, his dejected expression suggesting he already knew the answer, "There's no way for her to come back?"
Mister Edward only shook his head.
They sat in silence for a minute or two, before the man asked, "Can I do anything to help?"
Selim shook his head, informing his caretaker, "That's Mama's job."
A bit of clarity appeared on Mister Ed's face. He recognized this.
"Don't you think your Mama would want you to be happy?" asked Mister Edward.
Selim nodded.
"And don't you think your Mama would want you to be taken care of?" he continued.
Selim nodded again.
"We don't want to take her place," said Mister Edward. "It's true, we're going to do some of the jobs that your Mama used to do for you. But we don't want to take her place.
"You know, when I was little, my Mama died too."
Selim sniffled again and asked, "She did?"
"Yeah," confirmed Mister Edward. "And after that, you know what happened to me?"
"What?" queried Selim.
"Other people started to take care of me. Pinako, Winry's grandmother, took me in. And later, a nice lady named Izumi took care of me too," Mister Edward explained.
Enraptured in the simplistic yet relatable tale, Selim questioned, "Really?"
"Yep, but you know what?" Mister Edward continued, "Even though they took care of me and did the things that my Mama used to do, they never replaced her."
"But that's a Mama's job!" Selim protested.
"Well, you see, it's not like you replace one Mama with another. It's more like there's two of them now," Mister Edward tried to explain, trying to explain how multiple people could fill the same role without competing for it.
"So…" Selim hesitated.
Mister Edward looked at him encouragingly, so he finished, "it's okay if I call Miss Winry 'Mama'?"
"So… it's okay if I call Miss Winry 'Mama'?" Selim asked.
Ed was taken aback, although he did his best not to show it. This was not at all how he had intended for this conversation to end. How it got here, he was not quite sure.
When he had offered to foster Selim, he had imagined it much more as a ward and guardian relationship, not an adoption. But here was Selim, asking if he could call Ed's wife his Mama. And how could he say no after what he had just said?
Still stunned, he replied, "I guess, so, yeah."
Once again, Selim looked like he wanted to say something, but held his tongue out of nervousness.
"What is it?" prompted Ed.
"Does… does that make you 'Papa'?" Selim concluded hesitantly.
If Ed was shocked before, now he was floored. Even after Selim had determined to call Winry 'Mama', it had never even crossed his mind that the same might be extended to him. After all, Selim had a mother in his life before, but never a father.
"I guess so," said Ed, at a loss.
Selim scooted over next to Edward, and Edward put an arm around the boy.
I guess so, thought Ed.
After a while, Ed stood and walked out the room, giving Selim a smile on the way out.
Winry caught him just outside, asking him, "How did it go?"
"Apparently," he informed her, "we're Mama and Papa now."
Selim was not sure whether he would be able to call Miss Winry 'Mama'. It was good to know that he was not replacing Mama with a new one, but it still felt a little like he was. He would not want Mama to think that he did not want her anymore.
But calling Mister Edward 'Papa' would be easy. After all, he had no other Papa. And besides, Mister Edward spent so much time with him. Every morning, he would get up and play games with him, and then all day, Selim got to play near him or help him with his work. It would be easy to think of him as a Papa. Selim felt almost excited at the prospect. He had never had a Papa before.
Soon after Mister Ed—no, Papa—had left, Miss Winry came into his room to see him.
"How are you feeling, Selim?" she asked kindly.
"Better. I'm gonna call Mister Edward 'Papa' now!" Selim said, his excitement obvious.
Winry responded, "Oh, really?"
"Yeah," confirmed Selim, "but I'm not sure about calling you 'Mama', Miss Winry."
She looked surprised and asked, "Why is that?"
"Because Mama is 'Mama'. What if she thinks I don't like her anymore?" Selim explained his concern.
"I see," said Miss Winry, giving it some thought. "What if you called us 'Mommy' and 'Daddy' instead? That way, you could still show your mama that you like her and she's still important to you."
Selim liked the sound of that. It seemed really weird to call them Papa and Miss Winry, anyway.
He expressed himself, "Okay, Mommy!" already trying out the new moniker. He liked it.
Mommy's face lit up like a lightbulb. Selim could tell it made her happy.
Mommy and Daddy.
It made him happy, too.
Ed lingered quietly as his wife and ward cooked breakfast for the family. Typically, he performed trivial tasks, but today he was too caught up in his thoughts to participate.
He observed as Winry unreservedly allowed Selim to help as always. Per usual, she sometimes had to invent a menial task to ensure he could always contribute. Ed could tell that not everything was the same. Winry had never been ungracious. She also did not usually smile quite so widely when Selim was not even looking.
For his part, the black-eyed boy took particular pleasure in the using the word 'Mommy'. There was a quick and steady transition over the course of the cooking. Near the beginning, Selim had avoided names altogether. Once, he had resorted to pulling on Winry's sleeve to get her attention.
But shortly thereafter, he experimentally dropped it onto the end of a sentence, "I finished! What can I do now… Mommy?"
Selim's face reddened as soon as he said it, but this time no tears. Just a bashful smile accompanied the heat in his cheeks. Ed could not help but notice how much Winry seemed to enjoy it.
Selim used the title a few more times, each with successively less timidity, until finally, nearing the end of the preparation, he called Winry his 'Mommy' as naturally as if it had always been so.
Being honest with himself, Edward was happy. Seeing his spouse and his charge so joyful was wonderful.
Yet, he remained very leery of Selim. Ed found it impossible to overcome his sense of dubiousness at everything the boy did. That was not to say that Selim had ever done anything suspicious. In fact, Selim had never made even so much as a slight facial expression or spoke an odd phrase to suggest that any remnant of Pride's monstrosity had carried over into the orphaned 5-year-old making breakfast with Ed's wife. That did not matter to Ed. He could not let it matter. Back when Ed first met Selim, he had a conversation with him in the library, and was even invited to the Führer's residence to dine with the family. In all this, Selim had done absolutely nothing to reveal his identity as an artificial being bent on the destruction of Amestris and the consumption of humans for his own gain and per Father's wishes.
Part of Ed felt like dismissing this position as over-vigilant. While it was true that Selim had made no mistakes, his interactions had been much more limited that day. Selim was living in the Elric house. He moved in nine days ago. It did not seem likely that the child could keep up such a perfect charade so well for so long.
Ed could not take the risk. His children's lives were at stake. His wife's life was at stake.
"Daddy?"
Edward was immediately dragged back into reality.
Selim was standing in front of him. "Mommy said to go wake up Al and Nina."
Still shaken from being pulled out of his daze, Edward took a moment to regain his composer and respond, "Tell Mommy I said 'okay'." Though it was really unnecessary, seeing as they were all three standing in the kitchen. Why was Selim delivering the message in the first place? Ed wondered. He must have missed something.
Regardless, he left the kitchen to awaken his children, still thinking about the dilemma in which he found himself.
Apparently, he should have waited to resume his rumination, as he failed to notice until he had opened the door to Nina and Al's room and stepped inside that Selim had come with him.
Ed was not happy. While he was certainly nervous about Selim's proximity to his children, Ed was present to oversee it. What truly upset Ed was the realization that Winry had requested this.
"Daddy? Mommy said to go wake up Al and Nina."
This was definitely her intention.
Too late to do anything about it now, Ed remarked internally as he started to attend to Nina Mae.
Glancing over his shoulder, he saw Selim approach Alphonse Jr. and lightly shake his shoulder. When Al did not quickly respond, Selim shook a little harder.
Seeing Al stir and open his eyes groggily, Selim declared, fortunately not too loudly, "Breakfast is ready!"
Al slowly sat up, rubbing his face with the sides of his hands.
All the while Selim simply stood, waiting expectantly. Running out of his 5-year-old-sized supply of patience, Selim urged, "You need to get up now!"
Al rolled his legs over the side of his bed and slowly stood up. A few moments later, Al and Selim were both standing and looking at Edward expectantly.
With Nina safely in his arms and waking up at her own pace, Ed turned to the pair and spoke to his son, "Good morning, Al."
"Good morning, Daddy," said Al to his father, and then to Selim, "Good morning, Selim." His pronunciation of Selim's name had improved quite drastically over the past week.
"Good morning, Al," Selim naturally responded.
With all the greetings out of the way, Edward and the kids all slowly moved toward the kitchen.
As breakfast wound down, Edward prepared to make a decision he did not want to make.
He knew the threat Selim posed to his family. He knew it firsthand. He had a responsibility to his family.
But responsibility to one's family entails more than merely keeping them alive. Winry had made it clear that in looking to their safety, Ed was neglecting much of that responsibility. Up until now, Ed had responded with begrudging concessions. He allowed Winry to watch Selim so that he could be a spend time with his children. He allowed them all to eat meals together. He let Selim sleep in his own separate room so Winry could stay with him.
At this point, Edward needed to acknowledge two things. The first, that the concessions he had made, while they certainly seemed right, had deprived Ed of any ability to protect his family from Pride. The second, that he could never find any proof that Selim was not Pride in hiding. There would never be any evidence that could put all doubt to rest.
With these two thoughts in mind, Ed had found himself forced into a corner. There was only one way forward.
"Winry," Ed requested her attention.
When she granted it, he conceded, "If you want to, you can leave the kids home today."
-Late morning, 12 April 1920-
"When I heard him suggest it, I nearly choked on my water," Winry told Pinako as the latter made sandwiches for the whole family, the rest of whom were expected to arrive shortly.
"I can see why," noted Pinako. "He's been so adamant about keeping Selim separate. And just this morning the boy decided to call you 'Mommy' and 'Daddy'?"
"That's right," Winry affirmed. "I don't think that's entirely why he changed his mind, but it's definitely a part of it."
"Oh?" Pinako prompted.
"Well, if he wanted to do something bad, he could've done it already," Winry explained.
Pinako remarked, "He could still be planning something longer."
"Of course, but what are we supposed to do? Wait until he dies to decide if we should trust him?" Winry answered.
"That a fair point. I'm sure you've said as much to him," Pinako acknowledged.
Winry continued, "I think what probably really changed his mind was feeling responsible for Selim."
"He is responsible for Selim," emphasized Pinako.
"Yes, he is. And the only way to fulfill his responsibility to his family and to Selim too is to let Selim be part of the family," Winry concluded.
"Ed doesn't think of Selim as a son," stated Pinako flatly.
Winry agreed, "No he doesn't. I just meant not trying to keep him separated from us."
Pinako, seemingly ignoring her clarification, proceeded, "But you do."
Winry protested, flustered, "I mean, I like taking care of him, sure, but I don't think I'd say—"
"So if Ed or the military find someone else to take care of him, that's okay with you?" interrupted Pinako.
Winry was about to qualify her remarks, when she received a sterner-than-usual stare from her grandmother. The meaning was clear: be honest.
"I supposed I might be a little attached to him," she admitted after a moment.
Pinako assured her, "Ed's a stubborn boy. It'll take some time, but he'll come around."
-Late Morning, 12 April 1920-
Ed may have determined to relax somewhat, but that did not mean his guard was immediately fully down. Thus, he was doing no research today, but instead taking care of Nina Mae while he watched Al and Selim play in the living room.
It occurred to Edward that the pair had never played with each other before, their contact limited entirely to meals. Thus, previous interactions between Selim and Al had been less than notable.
For much of the morning, the duo had attempted to do things Selim enjoyed. Selim was quick to come up with ideas, and Alphonse was happy join in. Unfortunately, some of the things Selim wanted to do were a bit difficult.
After he struggled with a puzzle and Selim crushed him at Snap, Alphonse decided he wanted to play with wooden blocks.
A polite boy with a properly aristocratic upbringing, Selim agreed to comply with Al's determination despite his own doubtfulness at the entertainment value of the activity.
Edward had to retrieve the box of blocks, as is would be too large for the young children to handle. Once he brought it out and opened it up, Al was quick to dive in, creating incredibly rudimentary structures with the simply wooden shapes.
After a few unsuccessful attempts to make a tower more than three or four shapes tall, Alphonse grew quite frustrated, but then seemed to notice the buildings Selim had created.
With his much more advanced spatial skills, Selim had created four well-spaced and slightly less rudimentary structures in the same design, and was currently attempting to bridge the tops.
Enamored by the genius of this new construction, Alphonse turned himself to face the Selim.
"Woah!" exclaimed the enraptured toddler.
"How did you do that?" Alphonse asked enthusiastically.
Ed chuckled to himself as Selim explained his intricate knowledge of block-stacking stability. Smaller blocks go on bigger blocks, and blocks of the same size should have their edges lined up. If you feel really adventurous, you can put a bigger block on a smaller block, but you have to put the small block in the very middle of the big block.
It was really all quite technical, as little Alphonse was learning. In spite of his initial misgivings, Selim seemed to be happy teaching Alphonse. Ed was almost sorry to interrupt them.
Even so, Ed interrupted, "Boys, it's time to go have lunch. Can you put all the blocks back in the box, please?"
Alphonse pouted slightly as he looked at the towers, but before he could do anything, Selim acquiesced, "Okay, Daddy," and began deconstructing his structures.
The younger boy looked surprised and unsure what to do. Ed was trying to figure out what exactly might be going through his son's mind when he declared, "That's my Daddy!"
There was very little emotion in the tone. No hostility or offense. No sadness or mockery. Just a corrective declaration.
Selim, however, suddenly felt very uncomfortable, and it showed. Trying to decide whether he needed to step in, Edward was preceded in action by the child in question.
"He's my Daddy now, too," Selim defended. "He said so. He said I could call him that!" Selim continued, working himself up slightly.
Now Ed knew he needed to step in. But what should he say?
"No, he's my Daddy!" Alphonse argued.
A small voice interjected, "Da da!"
Ed smiled as his daughter uttered one of the few words she had so far learned to pronounce. The quarrelling boys turned to face the sofa on which the daddy in question was sitting and the interrupting party was playing with a nine-piece jigsaw puzzle.
Ed picked up Nina Mae and directed a comment to Alphonse. "Sometimes you have to share," he said with a smile. "Now let's finish putting the toys away so we can eat."
Shifting his daughter to one hand, Ed scooped up the parts of the puzzle and put them on the side table next to the couch, expecting to reuse it in the afternoon.
Alphonse Junior seemed to accept his father's judgement and began putting blocks away.
Selim exuded happiness, joining Alphonse in the clean-up effort.
Minutes later, Edward and the three children set out on the path towards the Rockbell home for a family lunch.
A/N: Eh. I know what I said up top, but I think I'll probably write a bit further before I post. Not that it matters to you, dear reader, because by the time you see this, it'll all have been posted.
Basically, I still have motivation to write. Posting will encourage me to take a break, and I don't want to take a break when I still have motivation. When I run out of motivation, then I'll post what I've got and (hopefully) use the existence of an in-progress story posted online to make me keep going (not that that plan has worked out super well in the past). On a related side-note, by the time you read this I will have updated my other stories. So that's good. I think it's been like two years or something. Yikes.
If you feel up to it, let me know how I've done so far.
Well, that motivation died. It's been a year since then. I have new motivation though, so here we go again!
-Samswimmer (-Kosmokrator)