Chapter 4 – Velocity.

17 year old Ashley's POV:

Here I sit. So alone in love. Yes, I'll finally fucking admit it.

I'm in love with Spencer Carlin.

Whew, I said it. Can I be done now please? It's too hard dealing with these emotions and also acting on them. I'd rather not. Plus, I've already screwed it up. Been silent when needed to be honest. Might as well leave it be.

But, can I? Can I resist the longing looks, lingering touches, subtle hints, and enticing smiles? Have you taken a look at Spencer Carlin? The answer is a definite no. Except, that I have to. I need to force her away, I don't want to hurt her, I don't want to treat her like every other girl. She deserves more than that. She deserves more than me.

Although, isn't this how every other person in love thinks like? How every other person feels? They're all so worried about being a disappointment because they love the other person that much. They're always gonna believe the other deserves better. But, despite all that, they stay. Even though they think they're not up to par, they stay. They deal with it.

Can I deal with it?

Fuck these doubts. Just suck it up Davies and do the right thing!

I wait a day before I talk to her. She confronted me about our relationship and I said nothing. But that won't happen tonight. I've earned some happiness. I'm gonna get my girl!

Hopefully.

Now I'm at her front door, waiting for it to open. And it's…

Mr. Carlin.

"Hi." I whisper. He gives me a knowing smile.

"Hi Ashley."

I step inside the house and immediately see Spencer. I try to lock eyes with her, but she avoids me. She looks down, shaking her head, hurt. Glancing back between Spencer and Mr. Carlin, I can't find the words to say. I'm speechless.

"It's good to see you Ashley."

My hero, Mr. Carlin to the rescue!

"Nice to see you too Mr. C."

Spencer and her dad look at each other and he walks away. I stare at Spencer again. She returns my gaze and then, silently, takes a seat on the couch.

"So?"

Ouch, caught some attitude on that one. Guess she's still upset. I sit, hesitantly. I don't want to mess this up.

"So…I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the 'come here, go away' trip I've been putting you through."

She nods. "Okay, why would you do that?"

"Because I want you, and I don't want to hurt you." And I love you.

"I can take care of myself."

Burn!

"And with some left over to take care of you."

Really? Score!

"Come to my place tonight. My mom's gonna be in La Costa for a couple of days."

Please, please, please say yes.

"Okay."

An, 'okay' will do too.

Present time:

"Let's stop there. I'm famished." Ashley begins to stand up.

"Are you kidding? You can't stop there! Things were just getting spicy!"

"Trust me. You want me to stop there."

"Why? What happens next? Do you admit that you love her? Do you have that impending 'are we a couple, are we not a couple' conversation? Do you totally say something inappropriate and wreck things?"

"None of the above."

"What then? What happens?"

Spencer raises an eyebrow, "Who's the inquisitive one now, dear daughter?"

"Oh, come on. This is like some horrid cliffhanger. What happens next?"

"You really want to know?"

"Yeah!"

"Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Positive?"

"Yes, damn it!"

Ashley nonchalantly answers, "We have sex."

"Ashley!" Spencer turns to Johnnie, "We make love."

Holding her hand to her mouth and creating noises that imply she's going to hurl, Johnnie responds, "Gross status. Anyway you put it. I do not believe you just told your only daughter that. I now wish that I had stabbed this pencil in my ear. Just to avoid hearing that one sentence."

"You asked for it sweetheart."

"Ugh. Well, we best eat before I let this vision set in my mind too long allowing it to penetrate my brain causing a tumor that kills me before you two have grandchildren."

After their little snack, the family stays seated around the dining table. Johnnie brings out her journal wanting to hear more of her parents' story. The couple, however, is engrossed in their own activity of butterfly kisses, sweet whispers, and admiring stares. Annoyed, and a little disgusted, Johnnie taps on the table hard with her pencil.

Spencer and Ashley notice this and giggle at their daughter's restlessness.

"Oh, sorry Johnnie Rae, shall I continue?" Ashley finally asks.

"That would be divine."

"Do you want details about our first time togeth–"

"No."

Pouting, Ashley continues, "Fine. Well, we're at my house the next morning…"

17 year old Ashley's POV:

She's wonderful. With her hair tasseled covering her face, arms haphazardly slung over the side of the bed, body outstretched, and a drool stain on the pillow by her mouth…she's wonderful.

Miraculously, I'm up before she is. I stay in bed though, just staring at her. The sight of her eyes used to make me melt, but now it's just the sight of her. Any part of her.

I reach out to comb my hand through her hair because I can't stand the distance. Two inches away from her and I ache to be closer. Shit, she's changed me overnight.

Suddenly, her head shifts and her eyes flutter open.

"Hi."

"Hi."

Nothing else is said; we just continue to look into each other eyes. Before, whenever we caught ourselves getting lost in each others' stare, we would quickly turn away. But now, this gesture feels comfortable. Right. We no longer have shame.

"You're beautiful," I utter out.

"Not so bad yourself, rockstar."

"So, how do you feel?"

"What do you mean?" she asks.

"I mean, how do you feel about what happened between us? About what happened last night?" I ask a little scared of what the answer might be.

"I feel like it was long overdue."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

I lay there smiling at her. She smiles back. I can see no regret in those stunning blue eyes. Last night was really perfect.

She breaks the silence.

"Where do we stand now Ashley?"

Vague question but I know exactly what she means. She wants to know if this is for real and if I'm in it for the long haul. She wants to know our status.

"Well, I guess I should ask you properly, huh?"

With that, I ignore her confused stare, get out of bed, and leave the room. I return a couple minutes later bearing a cake box and a single red rose.

Handing her the flower, I explain, "This is for you. And, what's in this box might not be as great as the brownies your mom makes, but give me a break; I never said I was a good cook."

I position the box right in front of me and lift open the top. I reveal the brownie cake I baked last night, which has the words 'Will you be my girlfriend, Spencer?' frosted on top.

She looks at the cake, wide-eyed, and almost teary. Looking back from the cake and my frightened face, she nods her head and giggles.

"Yes."

On the way home I rest my hand on the gear shift and bob my head to the beat of the music. One minute later Spencer captures my hand with her own. We exchanged glances and smiles, and remain comfortably silent all the way to her house.

The trip seems too short when I pull up to her driveway.

She unbuckles her seat belt, then turns to me, "Thanks, for my second first-time Ashley."

"No problem…girlfriend," I say with a grin.

Tilting her head and dishing out that sparkling smile again, she leans in, kisses me on the cheek, gets out of the car, and walks away.

As I watch her perfect figure approach her house, I have to lean back and sigh. Can life get any better than this?