*Stephenie Meyer is my hero.*

A/N: So a lot of you are not impressed with Edward or Bella. I wish I could say something to ease that – but, in my honest opinion, I think y'all are just taking what is supposed to be a funny story a bit too serious! Yes, Edward is clueless, that is the entire point of this story. We may have overdone his cluelessness a bit, but he needed to be that bad for this story to work. I for one LOVE what is happening.

Hopefully this chapter will clear up a few things from Bella's side AND make you stop hating on Edward for what he did to Leah.

Chapter 3

Two weeks; it had been two weeks since I embarrassed myself in front of Edward. Rosalie was pissed off at me, but I couldn't help it. I didn't know how I was going to face him. I mean seriously, he obviously wasn't that into me. If he was, he wouldn't have "gone off" so quickly. I mean, I wasn't very experienced, but the last guy I was with lasted longer than that, and then he cheated on me a week later. So Edward lasting all of 5 minutes just proved that he wanted it over quick. Rose told me that I was insane, that he felt the same for me that I did for him. But I couldn't bring myself to overcome my embarrassment.

Every time I caught a glimpse of him, my heart stuttered. I knew that I would need to talk to him, but after avoiding him for as long as I had, I didn't think he would even talk to me again. I was fucked, and not in a good way.

Exactly two weeks after our evening together, Rosalie barged into my bedroom.

"You need to get your ass out of this room and go claim your man."

I automatically started to shake my head.

"Don't you fucking shake your head at me. Do you know what your man is doing tonight?"

"He isn't my man. I blew that chance." I said glumly.

"Fuck that shit. Bella, Edward is out on a date right now."

I looked up at her, tears immediately filling my eyes. "Wwwwhat?" I didn't think I would lose him all together, and that it would happen that fast.

"Apparently some chick he works with asked him out to dinner and he accepted. Emmett thinks it's just his way of trying to take his mind off of you. Edward thinks that YOU don't like him, so he feels he needs to move on."

"But I love him." I whispered.

"I know that, you know that, hell, even Emmett knows that. But Cluelessward and your stupidity don't. So you need to grow some lady balls and claim your man."

I sucked in a deep breath and nodded my head. It was time to woman up and show Edward that me avoiding him was all on me. My only hope was that he could forgive me.

We didn't know when Edward was going to be home, so we flung open the blinds in the living room and watched over the parking lot while we planned what I was going to say and do when he showed up. Rosalie agreed with me that the best approach was just to be honest with him, to tell him that I was in love with him and that I was embarrassed and upset over everything that had happened. My little speech was tossed when he arrived at home and his date was close behind.

"OH HELL NO!" Rosalie growled as we watched her bat her eyes at him as they walked up to his door.

"What the fuck do I do now?" I asked, almost in tears again.

Rosalie came up with the perfect plan. We both knew that he loved my white bikini, so I put that on and headed over under the guise of needing a cup of sugar. When he opened the door, his eyes went wide. I couldn't help myself; I adjusted my top so that I popped out, just like the first time I talked to him. I gave my little spiel about needing to borrow some sugar and channeled Rosalie when I reached down and tweaked my nipple. Less than a second later I was in his arms and his lips were on mine. I dropped the coffee mug I was holding and barely heard it crash to the floor as I wrapped myself around him. He wrapped his arms around me and carried me to his bedroom, the door slammed and he lowered me to his bed.

He pulled away from my lips and gazed down at me with what looked like adoration filling his eyes.

"Bella, we really need to talk about what happened the last couple of weeks." He said as he brushed my hair away from my face. "But before that, I need to make love to you."

I squeaked out an 'Okay' as he crashed his lips to mine again. He had just gotten my bikini top off, his glasses had been tossed on his nightstand and his face was buried between my boobs when there was a knock on the bedroom door. Edward's head shot up and he turned his face toward the door. He looked back down at me and blinked like he was trying to figure out who was there.

"Uh, Edward? Are we still going to watch that movie?" A girl's voice asked through the door.

"Shit." Edward grumbled under his breath. "Uh Leah, I'll be out in a second."

My eyes went wide and I tried to move out from underneath him. "Whoa, Bella. Where do you think you're going?"

"Well, you're obviously going to go out there and finish up your date, so I'm just going to get out of your way."

He moved fast and pinned me to the bed with his body. "You're staying right here. I'm just going to go and explain to her what's going on and gently ask her to leave. I completely forgot she was even out there. Your….uh….nipples kinda distracted me. "

I blushed and tried to look away. "Stay, please?" He pleaded.

"Okay." I whispered.

He smiled at me and sat up, put his glasses back on, and stood from the bed. He gave me a searing kiss and went back to the living room.

I scrambled off the bed and opened the door a crack so that I could hear what was going on.

"Ah there you are, Handsome." Leah said as he walked back into the living room. I couldn't see her, but I could tell from her voice that she would be attempting a sugary sweet smile.

"Uh, hey Leah. Sorry about that." He went to say more, but was interrupted.

"Don't worry about it. So the spot beside me is still free and the movie is ready to go. I cued it up while you were busy. Now, c'mon and sit beside me and we can cuddle and watch the movie."

I had to hold back a snicker. The girl was either blind and didn't notice Edward attack another girl and carry her to his bedroom, or she really thought that he was going to finish up the date with a cuddle and a movie. I leaned out of the door a bit to see if I could see them from the bedroom. I could see her sitting on the couch, patting the seat beside her. Edward was standing with his back to me, his hands running through his hair.

"Uh sorry, Leah. But my, umm friend is here and she really needs me."

"Oh, well… I can wait until you're done with her. I'd just really like to watch this movie with you." She said, fluttering her eyelashes at him.

"Well, you see, it could take all night. She's very needy right now." I almost snorted out loud to that; needy indeed.

"Well I guess she could join us, but I claim the spot on the couch beside you." She simpered up at him.

Edward let out a sigh and I decided that I needed to intervene. I went over to his closet, pulled out a button down shirt and slipped it on, only doing up one button to cover myself. When I walked out of the bedroom, it almost looked as if Leah was having some sort of fit. She was practically lying on the couch, fluttering her eyelashes up at Edward so fast that it looked like her eyes were going to fly out of their sockets.

Edward had backed away and was standing just a few steps from the bedroom door.

He cleared his throat like he was going to say something, but I wrapped my arms around him from behind and planted a small kiss on his back. I couldn't see Leah, but I did hear her intake of breath when she noticed my arms.

I squeezed him a little and moved to stand in front of him. Leah looked me up and down, her eyes showing nothing but disdain. Oh yeah, she knew exactly what she was trying to do.

"You do realize that your little stunt interrupted my date with Edward, don't you?" She said with a sneer.

I blinked at her a few times and decided to just be honest. "Actually, I do know that, and the only reason I did interrupt was because he should not have been out on that date with you in the first place."

Her mouth dropped open and she looked from me to Edward. "What does that mean? Edward willingly accepted when I asked him out to dinner. I didn't twist his arm."

"What Bella is trying to say is, I should not have accepted. Honestly, I only accepted because I was trying to take my mind off of her. We had a bit of a falling out a couple of weeks ago, and instead of talking to each other, we just ignored the problem. I'm sorry Leah, that wasn't fair to you."

"What do you mean falling out? You've been single since you started working with me! I've been trying to get you to notice me and to get you to ask ME out for the last six months. I just got sick of waiting." She said, her voice rising as she got to the end.

I took a deep breath and looked up at Edward, who was now standing behind me with his hands on my shoulders.

"Sorry, Leah. But I'm Edward's girlfriend. I made a stupid mistake a couple of weeks ago, and I didn't fix it. Instead, I let my amazing boyfriend think that we were over, which is why he accepted your date."

She growled at me; literally growled and then stood up. I was worried that she was going to attack me.

"You mean to tell me that I've been pining away, hoping that you would ask me out for six months and you had a girlfriend?" She yelled. This caused Cupcake to wake up and wander into the room from where ever she had been hiding. She started pacing around, growling at Leah. Leah just looked at her and took a step away from the menacing rat dressed in pink ruffles.

Edward moved so that I was standing behind him. I think he was worried about an attack as well.

"Yes, although I've only known Bella for half that. But I've been in love with her since the moment I saw her." I squeaked a little bit when he said that. He loved me? Even after I ignored and avoided him for two weeks; even though I thought he was gay; he still loved me?

Leah growled again. "I can't believe I wasted my fucking time on you! I thought for sure you would be the one to get me out of that hellhole I call a job. I know about your trust fund; you were going to use that to treat me like a princess!" She stepped forward and moved to slap Edward, but I moved quicker, catching her wrist in my hand.

"Don't you dare lay your hands on him!" I let out a growl myself. Cupcake snarled up at her from beside me.

"Oh and what are you going to do to me if I do?"

"Well honey, lets put it this way. My father is the Chief of Police, and not only would I make sure he made your life a living hell, but you would also have to seek a consult from a plastic surgeon, because your nose would be on the side of your head!" I snarled at her and flung her hand away from me. I grinned when I saw the fear cross her face. Cupcake took that moment to relieve herself…on Leah's shoes.

She didn't say another word, she just picked up her shoes, grabbed her purse and left. As soon as the door clicked closed behind her, I was pinned up against the wall beside the bedroom door.

"Fuck, Bella. You defending me like that was so hot!"

He claimed my lips with his. We stumbled back to his bedroom, shedding our clothing as we went. He slammed the door so that we wouldn't be interrupted by the rat dog and then he laid me out on the bed and looked down at me with reverence.

"Bella, I know you heard what I said out there, and what I said is true. I love you. And I really need to know why you've been avoiding me."

I could feel the tears building. "Oh Edward, I love you too. I fell in love with you when I thought you were gay and that my only hope of being with you was as my friend. I'm so sorry I ignored you the last two weeks. Honestly, it was just my own insecurities and worries. I thought that you got off so quickly that night because you weren't that into me and that you just wanted it over as soon as possible." He went to say something, but I covered his mouth with my fingers. "Let me just finish before you say anything, okay?"

He nodded, so I took a deep breath and told him everything. Why I ignored him, why I was insecure. I even told him about Rosalie trying to kick my ass over my behavior. I ended my story by telling him how sorry I was for everything.

"Bella, I will tell you that you ignoring me did hurt, but I understand and there is nothing to forgive. We're okay and right now, I just really want to make love to my girlfriend. I've never had make up sex before." He said with a smile and then he pounced.

His hands felt like they were everywhere. He gave me a mind blowing orgasm with his fingers and then again with his mouth before he was hovering over me.

"I love you." He whispered as he slowly pushed inside me and then covered my mouth with his. Unfortunately, he didn't last very long again. But this time I knew it was from lack of action and the way I felt wrapped around him that caused it. Afterwards, there was no pain inflicted either. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me close. We fell asleep wrapped up in each other.

A couple of hours later I woke up in Edward's bed alone. I glanced over at the clock and saw that it was just after two in the morning. I pulled on Edward's shirt again and went to look for him. I found him trying to get Cupcake to do her business.

"C'mon you damn dog. Just take a piss already!" He groaned out. I stepped outside and smirked at him.

"Having trouble baby?" I asked. He looked over at me and gave me a grimace.

"A little. I am sick and tired of talking to this damn dog like she's a baby."

A brilliant idea came to mind. "When's Alice due home?"

"She's supposed to be home in the next few days. But that could change."

"That should give us plenty of time." I said with a grin.

"For what?"

"We're going to retrain the little baby Cupcake!"

Over the next week we worked on that damn dog every day. By the end of the week, a day before Alice was due home, we had Cupcake retrained.

"All right Cupcake," I said, letting her out into the yard. "You're going to take a shit right now, cause if you don't, your master is going to take the whip to your ass." She looked up at me, squatted, and did her business! I couldn't wait to meet Alice and see her reaction to her new S&M style doggie!

A/N: Before we get the haters telling us how mean they were to Leah. WE KNOW. But look at what she was after anyway, I think she deserved what she got!

We have to send a special shout out to Leigh and Tiffany from our Facebook Group (Edward and Bella's Place) – they were out for blood! It was their idea to get back at Alice for leaving the dog and all of her PINK crap with Edward. So S&M puppy was born! Thanks Ladies! **snicker**