I'm in a really piss poor mood right now. It's almost night time and I still haven't found Double D yet. First thing I did was go search out the library, thinking there was a good chance he was in there. Well, he wasn't. I checked every floor and private little study room, nothing. I did find a computer to upload my last few sessions on though. Sure, it was a pain in the ass trying to figure out their overly complicated guest log on, but I got through.
Then lunch time came around and I found the cafeteria. That wasn't too hard, just followed my nose, really. But no matter how hard I looked I couldn't find him there either. Had me some pizza though, which was way better than the half hearted crap and junk food found at every bus stop on the way here. After I finished eating I took a stroll around the campus, thinking maybe he liked to eat alone or at least away from all the hustle and bustle. That search turned out to be fruitless too.
I did notice one thing though; aside from my skateboard I'm not all that much of a sore thumb in the crowd here. All the students are about my age and don't wear very flashy colors. Sure, for the most part they are probably better groomed, and by better I mean more professionally, but at a passing glance I would say I'm pretty incognito.
This fucking sucks though, I wanted to have found him by now, have him show me around town, or at least to the beach. And if I don't find him soon then where am I going to sleep tonight? You ever tried sleeping on a park bench? It aint something I like repeatin' if I can avoid it. Heh, just remembered something. Sometimes I would get into a huge fight with either May or Lee, or sometimes both, and I couldn't stand staying in our trailer. In fact it would probably be retarded if I did sleep in there considering the crap we pull.
Anyway, so I would just barge out and head to Double D's place. His parents were never home anyway, so it's not like he had to ask permission on short notice or nothin'. Did I say this before? Whatever, so I could come to his place and just hang out. He always seemed to notice if I was in a foul mood, and tried his best to cheer me up… I don't like having these doubts. Now I'm thinkin' he only comforted me so I would be less of a pain to him… But he was so kind! I know he cared! He would tell me about how I was always doing the right thing coming to him to talk about it, you know, versus taking my anger out on someone else.
Then if it was a cold night he would make us some hot cocoa, or if it was warm then ice cream was in order. He knew sweet things seemed to always brighten my mood. Hell, I could go for some right about now. Sometimes I would try to cuddle with him on his couch, TV on some learning channel. At first he would always find a reason to get up and do busy work, blushing like fire. But eventually I got him to stay put by just holding onto him as he tired himself out. After he realized I just wanted to cuddle he seemed to relax some, though… No, can't think like that!
Think, stupid, how can I find my lover? What would he suggest if we were looking for someone?... Maybe the school has him on record? Oh, duh! Of course they would, I doubt Eddward would go to a school without them having all of his up to date information. Okay guys, I'm gonna go try my luck with… umm, would that be a records office or something? Yeah, I feel good about this already.
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God, is it that late already? Okay, so where to begin?... Right, so after asking around I finally got pointed to the Admissions and Records office. But even though they had a file on my love dove they couldn't tell me anything because it would violate privacy laws or some bull shit. They didn't care when I told them I was his girlfriend, and when they asked why I couldn't just call him, I made up a lie on the spot, said I was going to surprise him.
So what is a crafty person like me to do? Distract and extract, of course. To keep it short one of their windows are broken and I peeked over the counter while it happened; went to a new person to ask this time too, after the last one left of course. Oh, you want to know how I broke the window while in the office, right? Course you do. I bribed a drunk guy to do it. Spotted him earlier, guess there is a pub on campus. So I upped my hood, made my voice sound gruff, and offered him fifty bucks if he could bash in the office window. Then I did the ol' switch the hoddie inside out trick when he was out of sight, and rushed into the office. The rest is history, as they say. Best part is he's stuck looking for a guy to pay him, or at least he is saying a guy put him up to it to campus security. So I'm not paying him shit in the end!
I wrote down his address as soon as possible and got some directions on a computer. I'm on my way now by foot, just covered most of the distance by board. I'm so excited! I'm almost there! I hope he's still up, and too bad if he aint. Hee hee!
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He's not home… I know it's a Sunday night too, so doesn't he have classes tomorrow? What if I got the wrong address? God damn it, maybe I fucked up one number or something… Ughh! This is so frustrating! I'm so damn close but there's no sign of him in sight! At least I can smell the ocean now, it really is salty. Fuck, I don't want to have to bum it out for tonight, I was really looking forward to cuddling in his arms instead. All warm and soft in his bed, little kisses here and there, me playing with his hair, tiny nibbles, snuggling…
Sounds so much better than right here, right now. I'm on the roof of his apartment complex, wasn't too hard to hop the fence and scale a wall. It's getting kinda cold… okay, pretty damn cold. I keep looking around for any sign of him, every time I hear a voice or a door open or car pull in, but, uh, nothing. Maybe he's at a friend's place or something? That would be just my luck too. Or pulling an all nighter somewhere? Like a lab or something? He might have a test or presentation tomorrow, who's to say? If he would answer his damn phone then I would know! I've called him at least twenty times since getting off that fucking bus! Ughh!... I'm tired, I'm hungry, I'm cold, and I need a shower… but most of all I'm lonely… Where the hell are you Double D?
Oh, he's started again. Heh, for the past half hour someone has been playing a violin in the distance, and its kinda… kinda nice. I like listening to it, and if I wasn't waiting for Mr. Inconsiderate to show up I would probably go out there and get a better show. Though I wonder, who plays violin in the middle of the night by the sea? Silly… Hmm…
You know, Double D always wanted to learn the violin, I remember one birthday of his I really wanted to save up to pay for lessons. But, well, they aint cheap, and we aint rich. I did save up a lot, considering our income, but it was nowhere close. Instead I made him a birthday card and put in all the money I had collected. I wrote a note saying what it was intended for, and that if he wanted he could make it a start in that direction. All he did was say thank you and moved onto the next gift, new computer with all the specs he ever wanted, completely outshining me.
I know I shouldn't be bitter but god damn it! How the hell do I compete with that?! Fuck you Nazz and Kevin, fuck you. They weren't crisp new fucking dollars but I worked really hard for that money, and they just asked their parents and got whatever the hell they wanted. So who's gift was more heartfelt, huh? Huh?!... And the worst part is, before I went home that night, I saw my card had been left on the dining room table. Everything else was brought up in his room, but no, guess my home made and dirty stuff just looks too much like fucking garbage, don't it?!
Why can't that shit head play anything happy?! Know what? He aint showing! I'm going to go check out Mr. Violin. I should be able to leave my shit here on the roof and not worry about it… Maybe I'll bring the recorder too, just in case… See ya.
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I hope that fucking ass face drowns. I just got back from checking out the violinist. When I was heading over there I half wondered if it might have been Double D. I dunno why, maybe he could have picked up the violin while he was out here and taught himself? And maybe he actually used the money I got him as a starting point for it? But alas, no, it was just a guy wasting time at the end of a dock.
I think he was trying to entice chicks too, because when I approached he immediately started flirting. Talk about desperate. I even tried to be nice, telling him I wasn't interested, that I came a long way out here to see my boyfriend. He didn't take no for an answer though, so I had to kick his ass. The thing is he fought back, and knew how to too. So I kicked him in the nuts, kneed him in the face (I think I felt his nose break,) and tossed him over into the ocean. Not wanting to stick around or leave much evidence behind, I took his violin, case and all.
So now I'm back on the roof, cold and just as stressed as ever. I guess I could go find a motel or something, but then I might be out of money sooner than expected. And I haven't scoped this area out yet, so I don't know where the best places are to make some pulls. Not to mention I'm hungry… could go for a burger right now, or maybe a sandwich. Something with a lot of meat, but lettuce too, and pickles.
Say, you guys ever wonder if you're crazy or not? I think I must be, coming all this way to see a man who I'm not sure even loves me anymore, or if he ever loved me to begin with, and then waiting on a roof top all night long because there is a chance he might show up in the area. Yeah, sounds pretty messed up to me. But you know, Double D is worth it… to me, at least. I hope he realizes that much.
Heh, I wonder what he's gonna say when I finally find his ass. Probably something like, "Oh goodness Marie, how ever did you come to find it the right conclusion would be to transverse hundreds of miles for but a mere glimpse of me!" Glimpse my ass! I haven't even so much as… seen… Well speak of the devil. Later guys, I think that's him. I'll get this out in… I dunno, why am I still talking?