Disclaimer: Trust me. The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy is not mine. I mean, if it was, why would I be writing fanfiction for it? Think about it rationally, now...

Author's Note: Thanks for all your comments! I'm seriously loving writing this thing, and I'm glad that you enjoy reading it. Oh, and by the way, I'm thinking of changing my pen name, so don't be shocked and alarmed if you're looking at the story and it's suddenly written by someone else.

CHAPTER FOUR: NO HARD FEELINGS, RIGHT?

I wake up the next morning wondering why I'm in my own bed. Then I remember, and for a moment I feel like throwing up in my mouth. After that wears off, I feel like hitting something. I don't know why, I just do. I really don't feel like looking at Billy today, especially not first thing at the bus stop. I decide to have Grim take me to school today.

When I get to class, I'm relieved to see that Billy isn't here yet. I take the extra time before he arrives to prepare myself for his face. His face... The face I kissed yesterday--

Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up! I have to stop thinking about it! Last night's stupid... happenings have been messing up my thought process completely. And you can just bet I didn't get any sleep last night. In fact, I think I can pretty much just forget about sleeping for the rest of my life.

I take some time to finish up the warm-up exercise on the board, then look around. Billy still isn't here. Now I kind of wish he would hurry up and get here; the wait is very suspenseful.

I notice Irwin walking up to the teacher's desk. "I'm here to get the homework, yo," he says. The teacher nods and starts looking through her desk for some papers. Huh. That's weird. Irwin wasn't absent all year-- I should know with his constant pestering me. Why would he be collecting missed homework?

"Thanks," he says, taking some papers from her hand. "Billy's sick with nose disease, so I just thought I'd pick up his homework for him, yo." The teacher looks suspicious, but sends him to his seat.

I look at Billy's empty chair. Nose disease, huh? The little freak must be playing hooky because of last night. What a coward. I hope he really does get nose disease. Oh, well. At least I can concentrate today without worrying about seeing him.

This goes on for the next couple of days; I get to school, Billy fails to arrive, and Irwin goes around the school getting his homework for him. Then, finally, Billy shows up. I'm a little relieved on behalf of his mother, because I had been starting to wonder how much longer she was going to buy that "nose disease" ploy.

He arrives late, but there nonetheless. As I thought, he doesn't appear to be getting over a three-day nose cold. He is, however, behaving awfully strangely for himself. His eyes are restless and shifty, and he moves as if something were to jump out at him at any moment. He gets to his seat, then looks at me to see if I'm watching him. The nerve! Why would I be watching him?! Does he think I'm some sort of obsessed stalker, or something? I keep watching him anyway, out of spite.

Look at that stupid face of his. Something just makes me want to hit him. I bet he just thinks he's so great just 'cause he got a girl to kiss him, right? Well, he's wrong. Big time wrong. Because this is one girl who isn't gonna give him the satisfaction of masculine triumph. Next time he even looks at me funny, I'm gonna give him what-for!

But he doesn't look at me funny. He doesn't look at me at all. In fact, for the rest of the day, I get the impression that Billy is avoiding me. So he's ignoring me on purpose, now? What a little jerk! I'll force him to confront me, just for being such a self-important little coward!

On the way to lunch, I catch Billy making his way through the crowds as stealthily as he can; at least, as stealthily as a clumsy oaf like him is expected to be. I push past several unsuspecting students and step in front of him. A few bystanders stop chatting to look at us.

"Oh! ...Mandy... I, uh..." he says, eyes moving quickly from side to side.

"Listen, Billy," I say, prodding him in the chest with my finger. "Do you have some sort of problem with me? 'Cause if you do, I want you to hurry up and spit it out."

"Uh... no, I don't have any problem, Mandy! ...But... uh... I should, uh, go to lunch, now..."

"You just think you're so clever, don't you?" I say. "You just about think you can get away with anything, huh? Well, lemme tell you, Billy! You're wrong. And if you or any of your randomly-infected body parts disagree, you can jut go rot somewhere. Got that?"

He looks at the ground. "Uhh, yeah, whatever, Mandy, bye," he says quickly. Then he darts around me, and before I have time to turn around, he's lost in the crowd.

When I get to the lunchroom, Billy isn't at our usual table. He must have gone to eat outside, or something. I sit in my usual spot, and Irwin appears a few moments later.

"Would you mind leaving me alone, Irwin?" I say, already annoyed. "I don't feel like dealing with any extra idiot today."

Irwin sits down next to me, ignoring my comment on his intellect. "Mandy," he says. "Everybody's wondering what's been going on with you and Billy today. All day you two've been acting really weird, yo! Did you have a fight, or something?"

I peer over Irwin's shoulder at the cafeteria door Billy must have taken to get out. "There was kind of a... misunderstanding...," I say slowly.

"I've never even seen Billy like this, yo," Irwin says. "He's all jumpy, and he's barely talking to anybody!"

"Is that so?"

"Yeah! Everybody's saying that either he did something really stupid, or you did something really mean."

I pause, saying nothing, then continue to eat my lunch. He keeps staring at me expectantly.

"What?" I say, my sandwich halfway to my mouth.

"Well, what happened, yo?!"

I put my food down on the tray. "I don't see why it should be up for discussion."

"Oh, come on, yo! The whole school's discussing it! I just wanna know what really happened!"

"Well, tough luck." I take a sip of my juice.

"Aww, please?"

"No."

"Please?"

"Go away, Irwin."

"Aww, man! Billy won't talk either, yo! Every time I ask him about it, he just says that he'd better not open his mouth or Mandy might get in his face."

I look at him. "He, uh, he really words it that way?"

"And then he just goes away! What's with you two, yo?! You gotta tell me!"

I pick up my tray. "I'm out of here."

"Aw, Mandy, where are you going?"

I stand up from the table and grab my things. "To another table. I'm tired of hearing your stupid questions."

"But Mandy, I--"

"Shut up, Irwin."

He follows me around the cafeteria. "I just wanna talk, yo!"

"No."

"You never talk to me about anything!"

"Too bad for you."

"Mandy! I'm your friend, too, y'know! You never include me in stuff! I always get left out of the conversation!"

Oh, great. Leave it to Irwin to make everything personal.

"We don't communicate, Mandy! Why won't you ever talk to me, yo?!"

"Shut up."

He stops. "Even after we kissed, you wouldn't talk to me about it...," he says under his breath.

I freeze momentarily, then grab his wrist and dash out of the cafeteria. I wait until we're outside the bathroom doors, then turn to him.

"I already told you, Irwin. We never, ever mention that! Remember?"

"But--"

"Re-mem-ber?" I say slowly through my teeth.

He nods. "Yeah, I remember, but... come on!! It's been two years! I just want one of us to say something about--"

"Yes!" I say. "Exactly. Two years! If we're careful, no one ever finds out, and we go on living as if it never happened!"

"But I don't want it to have never--"

"Trust me, Irwin. It's better that way."

"Bu--"

"Much better."

He sighs. "Okay. Fine."

We go back to the cafeteria and sit down.

Later that evening, I'm lying around in my room, kind of bored. My cellphone rings and I pick it up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Mandy." It's Billy's voice on the other end.

"Yeah, what? I'm really busy."

"Oh, sorry, Mandy... I just... uh..."

"What?"

"I'm sorry I kicked you out of the house. After the sleep over, I mean."

I pause. "Yeah?"

"Um, yeah," he says. "Uh, you know, about the, umm, the kiss..."

"Actually," I say, "yeah. About that. Um, you're still keeping it secret, right?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I think it's best if we didn't talk about it alone, either. Like, not even between us."

"Why?" he says.

"Uh...," I think for a moment. "Look, Billy... Are... are you glad that it happened?"

"Uh, I..."

"Are you happy right now... because of it?"

"Um, not really."

"If it hadn't happened, do you think you'd be happier right now?"

"Um, maybe..."

"Okay," I say. "Right. So, maybe we should just... pretend like it never happened."

He hesitates. "I guess."

"Good. So, is there anything else you called about?"

"Uhh... no," he says. "Bye, Mandy."

"Goodbye, Billy."

I hang up, then check the time. It's about nine o'clock, so I put on my pajamas. I'm relieved that the incident is taken care of, but I still feel kind of weird about it. Oh, well. Maybe that'll wear off soon.

Author's Note: May I receive no complaints about the Mandy-kissing-Irwin thing. I'm basing this event off an actual episode where Mandy has an identity crisis and kisses Irwin (Heartburn if you don't know it), so don't try to tell me it's out of character, because it actually happens in the show.