A/N 1: So, I had scheduled this to be up on my Monday, and some of you all's Tuesday, however, I have had a lot of ideas for this chapter and was able to type it up, get it checked over by quite a few people, and still be able to post it two days early.

You're welcome.

Also, for those who have been long awaiting a chapter for When It Goes South, I think some of you might be happy to hear that I have planned for me to post the next chapter on Tuesday (Wednesday for some of you.) That chapter is already written down, I just need to type it up and get it read through by a couple of people.

I want to thank you all for your continued support. This story has gotten a large response from all of you and most of it has been positive feedback. I am so happy that none of you saw Jay being alive being an actual way for me to end this story, because it added the element of suprise.

I really hope you all enjoy this next chapter, I know some of you will!

Jay had finally gotten home late afternoon, Voight driving him to his apartment after they had picked up food. Voight didn't stay for long, knowing that Jay just needed to be alone. He only stayed long enough to watch Jay play with his food, take a few meds, and watch him limp to his couch.

Voight washed the couple of dishes that they had used, and placed them in the dishwasher to dry out. When he finished the simple task, he turned and watched the top of Jay's body sit motionless. His shoulders sat square, staring at the blank television.

The first thing Voight had noticed when he had rushed into the emergency room across the city was the fact that Jay wasn't the same. It wasn't just the physical things, like the amount of weight and muscle density he had lost, nor was it the slightly longer hair than he had ever seen the man with and the palest complexion he had ever seen on the man. No, it was his eyes, and all that he wasn't saying out loud. He smiled when Voight walked into the room, and it seemed to be a joyous smile, but it never reached his eyes.

He was alone. That much was certain. Sure there was people all around him, and Voight's presence was very well known, but he was alone. He had just spent a year away from his friends and his family, and spent that year filled with criminals out to kill everyone the could. Jay couldn't talk to anybody, and his emotions had been bottled up for just as long. Hank had known from the moment he had stepped foot into that hospital room, that not only was he not looking at the same man he had watched protect the city over a year ago, but he was a ticking time bomb, primed and ready to explode.

"Hey Jay, I'm about to head out." Voight called, pushing himself off of the doorway of the kitchen Jay's head turned quickly towards his boss, his senses still in overload. Once the words kicked in, he rolled off the couch and stood, limping towards his boss.

"Look, Voight. Thanks for lunch." Jay smirked, rubbing his neck with his good hand. "And for picking me up. And for drop-"

"I got it kid, you're welcome." Hank smiled genuinely as he held his arms out. Jay smiled again as he stepped into the arms and wrapped his usable arm around Voight. Voight held the man for a moment, similarly to how a dad would hold his son.

Jay pulled away first as Hank stopped him from going too far, clapping a hand on Jays good shoulder. "It's great to have you back kid."

Jay nodded, not trusting himself to say any words. Voight smiled reassuringly as he clapped the shoulder a couple of times before he retracted his hand and cleared his throat. "Alvin will stop by in a couple of hours, make sure you have dinner, but no one else should stop by. Alvin should have let the rest for the team to let you be for a while."

"I don't need a babysitter Voight." Jay grinned softly. "But thanks again."

"Get some rest Jay, god knows I need you to replace your replacement." Voight groaned as he opened the door and stepped backwards through it, pulling his jacket tighter around himself and fishing his gloves from his pockets.

"No kidding, where the hell did you get him from anyways? Rent a cop shop?" Jay joked, raising an eyebrow.

"I wish, Stephen is something else, let me tell you that. He's good police, just never what I was looking for." Voight turned around as his sentence finished, strutting towards the stairs with a practice stride. He shot a final glance, and a wave over his shoulder as he turned down another hallway, as Jay watched him walk away.

A minute passed before Jay's smirk slowly slipped into a straight lines for lips. He backed through his doorway and closed the doorway. Once the deadbolt was slipped shut he turned his back to the door and slowly slid down the wood. He stopped once he sat on the floor, his bad knee straight out in front of him and his other knee bent in front of him.

He glanced around at his apartment. Seeing much of it with a single glance. His photos that hung on the wall, his tv that sat undusted. His walls, god he hated that color, but he missed them so much.

Suddenly his eyes were misting up as he finally accepted that he was home. "Damn." He muttered as he brought a fiercely shaking hand to his face. He closed his eyes as he held his head back against his doors. He shook his head, but his lips, and even tried to laugh, but nothing worked as the tears started to fall down his face.

He didn't sob, but he did cry as he sat on his apartment floor. With every throb in his body, he was forced back to the week that he was held hostage, torture beginning early in the morning and lasting all through the night. Soon those thoughts began to mingle with the memories he had before he came to Chicago. Of the war and of the violence. Of the bodies he saw on a daily basis.

Eventually, he ran out of bad memories to think of as he began to remember the year he had spent in Intelligence. Of the car rides with his beautiful partner, of the jokes and the sarcastic comments. He remembered the way her entire face would light up at the mention of good night out with a couple of beers and some friends at Molly's. HE remembered a lot.

And then he remembered dying.

A pounding on his door brought him back to his senses. He shook his head lightly as the pounding continued. He wiped his hand across his face, trying to clear every trace of his ever crying away.

After a second to compose himself, he stood up, and stared at the door, and finally, he opened it.

"What the hell are you doing alive?"

There she was. She was mad, furious even. Her eyes were puffy and red like she had spent her afternoon crying as well. Her body was covered in a coat of sweat and her stance screamed murder. But here she was.

"Erin?" His voice was still a croak, a lingering problem from being nearly suffocated.

She shoved by him and trotted into his living room and around the couch, where she stood rod still and watched him. "Close the door, because I need to talk." She muttered, crossing her arms across her chest.

He shut the door with a quiet click and then turned to face her yet again. "Let's hear it."

"I watched you die, Jay. I held you as you took your last breath, and I could only watch everybody try to save you. I had to watch everybody at your funeral as I sat at the front and I started your eulogies. I watched some of the strongest people I knew slowly withdraw from the rest of the world, Jay. I watched as the team changed and as I changed. But Jay, god damn it, I watched you die." Jay would have been lying if he said he hadn't seen this conversation coming, but he didn't expect how badly it would hurt. What hurt the most though, was the agony in her eyes, as his return opened old wounds. All he could do in response though, was stare straight at her, willing away the emotions that struggled to compose themselves within him.

"But you know what Jay Halstead, you want to know something funny?" Erin laughed a cruel laugh as she took a slow step towards him. Jay remained silent and still, and she took it a yes as she continued. "The worst part about your death wasn't that you had died, no, not at all. The worst part about your death, was me coming to realize that I loved you too."

Jay's breath hitched at the statement. He had loved her and he had made sure that she it, but he had never imagined her saying it back, He had always assumed that she had wanted it professional, and he never thought he would get the chance to contest it. Jay bit his lip as he thought of what to say, emotions assaulting him. He wanted to hold her, to stop her tears and tell her that nothing had changed, but everything had changed.

She had loved him.

"You say that in the past tense." Jay muttered, his heart breaking in his chest slowly. He had never been given the opportunity to think through what his death would mean to those around him. He never knew that he would never be able to take those words back at the time, and he never realized what they would do to those he loved. At the time, all he had wanted to do was say them.

"Yea, Jay, past tense. Because that's how I have spent the better part of a year thinking of you. The only time I wasn't thinking of you, and mourning your death, was when I was drinking, and trust me when I say that I did a lot of that. I spent a lot of time drinking and I said a lot of things that I wish I had never said, and the amount of time I spent at your grave took up a lot of my spare time. All of that time I will never get back. All because you had to be some fucking hero." Erin cried, showing no other way of hiding her pain as well. "Didn't you know that you were already an hero? To children, to the people you have helped, to me? You already were a hero Jay."

"Erin, I'm sorry."

"Now you're sorry. After you put me, the woman that you loved, through a year of unimaginable pain, and after you put your friends into a situation that was far too similar to ones they have felt before." Erin's hands dropped to her sides limply as she stopped shouting. Her chest heaved as she caught her breath slowly. Besides that, the room remained silent, both parties staring at each other with desperation, and loneliness and unadulterated sadness in their eyes.

Erin started moving again after minutes of standing and staring at each other. She walked slowly, unsurely, as she made her way to him. As she came to stand in front of him, she let her tears fall, and he let his show in his eyes. "Erin."

She stopped, her body inches from his, she stared up into his eyes and he stared down into hers. "Was it really worth it?"

Jay sucked in his lip again as he shook his head carefully. "I can't answer that question Erin, in this line of work, when you get the opportunity, you save someone's life. Thats what I did. I can't say I regret saving the lives I did, but I do regret leaving you, and I will always regret that Erin."

Erin nodded slowly. Her eyes closed and more tears streamed out of her eyes. "I know, but I just can't understand why you wouldn't let us know. We could have helped and I-"

"I couldn't do that to you or the team." Jay butt in quickly.

"No, but you could rip our hearts to shreds and send us all into shock. It's our job to investigate Jay. We could have helped. I could have helped." Erin pleaded.

"It's too late now Erin. But I need to know one thing, before you either let me in again, or keep me out-" Erin placed her hand on Jay's cheek, silencing him.

"When you died, I learned that I can't keep my feelings to myself, but I kept on doing so. But now, that you're not dead, I know this." She stopped as she felt Jay's hand coming up to cup her cheek in his good hand as well, rubbing tiny circles with his thumb, sending shivers down her spine. She smiled a watery smile, and started stroking his face too. "I still love you, no matter how long I said it past tense. I loved you then, I love you now, and I will always love you."

Jay didn't respond, instead, he slowly brought his lips to hers, and she let him. She relished the touch. They stayed like that for a few seconds, leaving their lips attached to each others. It was Jay who pulled away first as he rested his forehead against hers. "I love you too Erin Lindsay."

She smiled again as she pressed her lips to his once more and the stayed locked in each others embraces and touches. The emotions, that they kept locked up inside as the kiss deepened, and they conveyed their emotions onto each other on a physical level.

Slowly but surely they made it to the couch, where they decided not to take it a step further. Rather, they held each other, staring into each others eyes as they laid stretched out on the couch. Her legs wrapped mindlessly in his and his arm that wasn't attached to his chest, was wrapped around her waist, holding her close to his body.

Shortly thereafter, he fell asleep. The exhaustion, the meds, and emotions finally pulling him into bliss. Erin watched as his eyes slid shut and she continued to trace his facial features with her eyes, starting with his eye sockets and slowly fading down to chin and the the stubs of facial hair that lined it. Erin let gaze linger longer on the bruises that adorned his face and reached out to caress the bruises that lined his neck in lines of purple and greens.

She could have stayed like that forever. Twirling his unkempt hair in her fingers as she held close to him, making sure he wasn't leaving her. Not again.

It wasn't until much later that she heard footsteps outside of Jay's door and then the sound of Key's sliding inside the lock. Erin carefully removed herself from Jay's embrace, but wasn't careful enough as he peered out through one cracked eyelid as she stood up and straightened her clothing out and patted her hair down. " 'rin?" He mumbled reaching out near blindly for the warmth of her body.

"Somebody's coming over okay Jay? I'm just going to see who it is than I will come lay back down okay? You just go back to sleep." Jay nodded slowly as she heard the sound of the first lock on Jay's door being unlocked.

"Don't leave." He whispered quietly as he quickly fell back to sleep. She dashed to the door and undid the second lock and letting the door open quickly and quietly.

"Erin?" Alvin questioned softly as he noticed the darkened apartment behind her, juggling a box of pizza and a set of key's in the other hand. "You okay?" Alvin asked as he looked for any other signs of life in the apartment.

"Yeah, I came over to talk and truthfully, I feel better than I have in a long time." Erin smiled softly as she looked Alvin over. "Come on in, just be quiet, he's sleeping and I don't think he will be up until morning." Erin shrugged.

"Actually, if you're over here, here is some pizza. I was supposed to bring some over just to check on him, seeing as you seem to have it handled-" Alvin stopped as he passed off the pizza.

"Are you sure?" Erin asked as she shot a glance behind her. The curtains were slowly starting to darken, signifying to Erin that night was quickly approaching.

"Yea, I'm sure. I just want to get home and be with my daughter anyways. A day like today will do that to you." Alvin admitted, then passed off the key to apartment to Erin. "And I won't be needing this. Have a good night."

"You too Alvin. Have a safe drive home." Erin nodded as the detective turned and walked down the hall. Once she was sure that he was actually leaving, Erin ducked back into the apartment and padded to the kitchen, quickly placing the pizza in the fridge for breakfast tomorrow.

"Looks like I'm staying the night." She muttered, looking down at her casual workplace outfit that would never work as a set of pajamas. She would never get any sleep in the uncomfortable clothing.

An idea suddenly sprang into her head as she darted silently from the kitchen across the living room and into Jay's bedroom. Experience led her straight to his dresser where she pulled out his second drawer.

For the first month after he had died, Erin hadn't been able to leave her bed. The second month, she wasn't able to leave his. She spent long days here getting to know the place better than Jay probably knew it. She knew exactly where what she needed was.

She pulled out a pair of gray sweat pants and walked to his closet, pulling a ragged, old t shirt off the hangar. Quickly she shed herself of her clothes and pulled his on. She smiled lightly as she breathed in the smell of Jay that still lingered in most areas of his apartment.

Soon, she was done, and she let her hair down, letting it tumble down past her shoulders. She quickly brushed her teeth with her finger in some tooth paste, advising herself to bring a toothbrush tomorrow, because there was no way she leaving his side for a while.

Once that was done, she heard a soft moan coming from the living room, and quickly rushed in, afraid that she had woken the man. What she saw was almost worse.

He was still asleep, but in the throes of a nightmare. There were tears streaming down his face, which were enough to catch her off guard as she stumbled to his side. Doing the only thing she thought would help, she grabbed his face again and began to coo his name. Moments later, he calmed down and mumbled her name in his sleep as he slowly forgot the dream and moved on to a less excitable dream.

She dropped her hands to her side and shivered slightly as the cold air made itself known. With one last look around and a yawn to accompany it, Erin grabbed the comforter off his bed and walked back to the couch. She quickly got herself comfortable in his arm and legs again and then wrapped them both up in the large blanket.

Soon, after only moments of staring into his face once again, she was asleep.

Erin woke up quickly but gracefully as her eyes jumped open and she quickly took stock of her surroundings. She blinked her eyes a few times to try and blink the sleep out of them when she felt a pair of eyes focused on her.

Erin looked up to Jay's beautiful sea green eyes. She glanced curiously up at him as a whole new wave of relief passed over her.

Jay was alive. And Jay was in love with her, and she was in love with him.

She focused in again on his face that was staring down at her with a sweet yet mocking smile. "Are those my sweatpants you're wearing?"

A/N 2: So, how did you all like it? You all have been so wonderful when it comes to reviews for this story, and I really hope you don't stop now. I will say that the next chapter I post for this story will be the last. EVER. I really hope you guys enjoyed and I really really hope you all will leave me a review.

Note - The next scheduled chapter for this story is by next Sunday(Monday).

See you all when I see you all!

~Tayler~