It had been two weeks since Jim had learned the truth of what his former friend had done and Bones, knowing that he was fast running out of excuses to keep him on light duty, was forced to clear him. In an attempt to avoid awkward encounters, Spock had rearranged the duty roster to be certain neither he nor Nyota shared a bridge shift with Jim. On the rare occasions that they did occupy the bridge during the crossover, Jim was silent except the infrequent request for a status update.
When away teams were called for, he didn't argue when Spock insisted he lead the team. The crew had started to feel the tension between its three senior-most bridge officers and rumors flew rampant about what had caused the strain. The most ridiculous was that Jim had insulted some Vulcan tradition and custom indicated that Jim be spurned for this egregious oversight. Naturally, Uhura being Spock's girlfriend, the Vulcan expected her to spurn him, too.
In truth, Spock felt his friend's absence deeply and wished that he hadn't commenced the whole farce, but instead given Jim the option of how best to deal with the situation and its aftermath. After a great deal of meditation and reflection, he realized that he'd violated Jim in a way that was almost worse than the physical ordeal of being raped. He'd invaded the one place that Jim had felt he was safe and taken that comfort from him.
The guilt overwhelmed even his superior control and ate away at him day by day. Nightmares filled the few hours that he did sleep, leaving him so nauseated he often found himself departing the bridge mid-shift to empty his meals into the latrine. It was after the first week of this that he realized the strength of the bond.
Nyota was able to comfort him to a certain degree due to her part in the bond, but he knew she felt Jim's absence as much as he did. His connection with Nyota gave him enough strength to maintain his control for periods of time. But, like the present moment, the strain became too much and he released his loneliness in the salty tears that slid down his cheeks.
She sighed. "We can't keep living like this, Spock," she murmured. "We have to talk to Jim about-" A gasp slipped past her lips as a near-overwhelming wave of anxiety caused her heart to skip a beat.
"I apologize," he choked. "I did not mean to-"
"It's okay," she breathed. "See what I mean, though? I love you, Spock, and I would do anything to see you happy. Right now, that means telling Jim everything."
Spock paused. "Yes. And if he wishes it, the elders will sever the connection." At Uhura's panicked expression, he caressed her cheek with the backs of his knuckles. "Do not worry. Your and I's connection will remain. Only our connection to Jim and his connection to us will be severed. I could never sever our bond."
"It won't be the same without him, will it?" she asked.
Spock shook his head. "No. It won't."
She grimaced. "Maybe if we tell him-"
"It's unlikely," Spock murmured. "He seems unaffected by our absence. It is highly probable that he has subconsciously blocked his mind from us, thus the nausea, headaches and anxiety we have been experiencing."
"But if he knew...he wouldn't let us hurt like this, would he? No matter how angry he is at us?"
"No," Spock replied. "But nor do I believe he would wish this connection with us. It wasn't his choice."
A lump formed in her throat as twin trails wet her cheeks. "We have to try."
# # #
Uhura pressed her thumb to the door plate for the tenth time, panic slowly replacing the hurt. Before she could tell Spock to use his override, the doors were opening. The room was dark and she could barely make out the shapes of the furniture. Spock's keener-than-Human eyesight however, spotted a still figure just outside the door to the bathroom he shared with Jim. He rushed to his friend's side, instinctively feeling for a pulse.
"He's alive," Spock confirmed and Uhura sighed in relief. "But he's very weak. We must get him medical attention immediately." He pulled the communicator from his pocket and flipped it open, pressing the button with his thumb. "Doctor McCoy, medical emergency in the Captain's quarters."
He removed his thumb, but kept the communicator open should he need to re-lay more information. A soft groan captured his attention and he looked down to see Jim stirring slightly.
"Jim," Spock called. "If you can hear me, please respond promptly."
Jim's eyes snapped open and he tried to push Spock away. "Leave me the hell alone. I've had enough of your attempts to help for one lifetime, thanks."
But Spock only pulled back slightly to allow Jim space, refusing to leave. "Have you been unwell? Doctor McCoy will be displeased that you didn't make him aware of your difficulties."
"He knows," Jim groused. "Now get the hell out of my quarters."
"No," Spock replied firmly. "I will not leave until you receive medical care for your illness."
At that moment, the doors parted to reveal McCoy with a medkit.
"See," Jim bit out. "The cavalry's here. You can get out now. You and your girlfriend."
Resigned, Spock placed a hand at the small of Nyota's back to guide her out.
"Don't move a muscle, you green-blooded hobgoblin!" McCoy barked. "You know damn well that he'll pass out again the second that you leave."
Spock's brows furrowed slightly. "Certainly not, Doctor. If I were aware of such an eventuality, I would, indeed, not move a muscle."
McCoy frowned as he studied the readings from the tricorder. "Kid, you're all over the damn place. Have you been following any of the treatments I recommended?"
Jim shrugged. "I tried. Didn't do much good for long."
McCoy glanced at Spock before returning his gaze to the tricorder. "Spock, take a couple steps toward Jim." Jim sputtered in protest, but McCoy ignored him and motioned Spock forward. The Doctor's eyebrows shot up when the readings calmed. "Step back again." His brow furrowed. "Toward him again." McCoy's expression became thoughtful, his gaze locking with Spock's. "Did you know?"
Spock stiffened. "I have only become aware in the last seven days of its strength."
McCoy grimaced. "Well, Jim, until we can get to New Vulcan, it looks like you're stuck."
Jim frowned. "Stuck with what?"
"I'll let your partners explain," he murmured. On the way out the door, he handed Spock a medical tricorder. "It's hooked up to my monitor in the Medbay. Keep an eye on his readings."
Spock nodded and returned his attention to Jim. McCoy then exited the room, leaving the three alone for the first time in nearly a month. The urge to hold his bondmate was strong, but he resisted, knowing that it would only drive Jim away further. Nyota, it seemed, had no such reservations. She rushed forward, hugging him tightly.
"I've missed you so much," she sobbed. "I'm so so sorry, Jim. For everything. You're right. We should have given you the choice. I know we can't ever make up for what we did to you, but we're willing to spend a lifetime trying."
He felt it the moment his friend relaxed, relief and contentment caressing his mind through the bond. No longer fearing his bondmate's reaction, he joined Jim and Nyota, lacing his fingers with Jim's.
"I deeply regret causing you pain, Jim," Spock murmured. "That was not my intention. As Nyota previously stated, if you are willing, we will attempt everything within our power to earn your forgiveness, even if this goal should not be fulfilled within our lifetimes."
Jim's lips tightened, but he didn't push them away. "What did Bones mean I'm "stuck"? Stuck with what?"
"The bond," Spock began. "We are bonded."
"Bonded?" Jim asked, clearly confused. "What the hell does that mean?"
"A psychic bond," Uhura added.
Jim's eyes widened. "Bones said 'Partners'. Like...married?"
Uhura shook her head. "No. Not yet. Not until we consummate it."
"Which will not occur unless you wish it," Spock added quickly. "Betrothed would be more accurate."
"How in the hell is that even possible?" Jim croaked.
Spock paused. "Though it is rare and such a circumstance has not occurred since the time of Surak, Kah-ka, the bond, may occur between more than two individuals should there be compatibility with a third mind. It requires a precise combination of will and luck."
A gasped "Holy shit" was Jim's only response. Sensing their bondmate's distress, Spock and Uhura sent calming waves to him through their bond.
"Stop that!" Jim snapped. "This whole thing is confusing enough without you two fucking around in my head. Give me a minute to think for myself, damn it!"
Both paused. "Do you want us to leave?" Uhura asked.
"If you do, won't I pass out again?"
She shook her head. "Not as long as you don't put up your mental shields, no." Pausing, she turned to Spock. "Why don't you explain it? You understand it better than I do."
Spock inclined his head, turning his attention to Jim. "Under normal circumstances, erecting barriers around your mind would not affect the bond nor its functioning. However, if you attempt to block the bond entirely, it can lead to great stress and illness for the one-or in this case, two-bonded to you. It will take a great deal of time for you to master this, but as Nyota and myself are practiced in such methods, we will do all in our power to shield your mind from our own to allow you the privacy you desire without ill effects."
Catching the wording of Spock's explanation, he asked. "So you and Uhura were bonded before this whole thing happened?" Spock nodded. "Then how were you able to form this bond thing with me?"
"Again, it is because your mind was chemically and otherwise compatible with ours," he offered. "When I performed the meld to suppress your memories of your imprisonment and torture, I was also connected to Nyota, who served as an anchor of sorts. Given that the ritual is highly dangerous when performed by a novice, my counterpart suggested involving a third party in case the meld needed to be broken abruptly. He felt it would minimize the risk of permanent injury."
Jim gaped. "Your-he KNOWS about all of this?"
"He doesn't yet know of the consequences of the meld, no," Spock countered. "However, he does know of your imprisonment and torture."
"Does he know about-?" Jim sucked in a breath at Spock's nod.
Uhura paused. "And if you're feeling up to it, he wanted you to contact him to see how you're doing."
Without warning, Jim jumped quickly to his feet and ran for the bathroom. Spock and Uhura followed in time to see him on his knees in front of the toilet, emptying the contents of his stomach.
"Don't leave," Jim gasped, before more bile forced its way out.