When Hermione returned to the Leaky Cauldron, her friends were there waiting for her. She was greeted with comforting smiles and open arms. She was touched by their concern for her, but couldn't shake the feeling that she'd crossed an uncomfortable line. She'd overstepped her boundaries with that gift. Fortunately, Harry didn't seem to mind. In fact, he claimed that he was ecstatic about it.

"Thank you so much, 'Mione." Harry smiled through watery eyes. It was so clear that he still missed Hedwig, and no one could blame him for that. He'd had Hedwig for a long time. His entire Hogwarts life, in fact. Hermione knew that the barn owl she'd given him would never replace the bond he had with her.

"I've decided to call her Keeva." Hermione liked the name he'd chosen. It was one of the names from their newest Defense Against the Dark Arts textbooks. It was a Gaelic name meaning gentleness or beauty. At least it assured her that he'd started getting ahead on their reading. It meant she might not have to write half their essays this year. She would have enough on her plate with her new duties. She didn't need to be worried about those guys as well.

That afternoon, they all decided to go for a walk in muggle London. Ron and Ginny weren't accustomed to muggle food or shops, and they always enjoyed trying out new things.

Hermione felt happy, her small hand enclosed by Rons large one. He always found ways to make her feel appreciated. Still, that small feeling in her chest… That choking feeling that made her feel lost and confused… She couldn't shake it. Being with Ron, or even Harry, used to make her feel so safe. Lately, however, nothing made her feel safe. The anxiety just built up more and more.

They decided to stop for lunch at a small café. Hermione wasn't feeling hungry, opting for a thick slice of biscotti and an iced coffee, she barely managed to choke it down. Her throat felt tight. And every time Malfoy crossed her mind, it just got so much worse. She was not looking forward to working with him this year. She'd heard rumours that the head boy and girl had to share a dorm. Percy assured her that this was inaccurate, but she just wasn't sure. It could be true.

"Are you sure you're alright, Hermione?" Rons voice broke through her haze of thoughts. She realized she'd likely been sitting there looking teary eyed. She forced herself to smile at him and nodded.

"Yes, love. I'm alright. Just a bit tired. I haven't slept well lately." It was the same excuse she used when Ginny asked if she was alright. It was a tired excuse, and she was sure her friends were sick of hearing it.

Ron chuckled and put his hand on her leg. Leaning in close, he put his forehead against hers.

"Well maybe I can help you with that tonight." It was a tempting offer, but lately Hermione just hadn't been interested. She loved him. There was no doubt about that. But her body just didn't want to go along with her heart.

"Thanks, Ron, but I think I just need to try to rest tonight." She hoped he would understand. She was always worried that he was only with her for her body. Her fears were subsided slightly when he shook his head, staying close.

"That makes sense. You've looked a little tired lately." Hermione flashed him a quick scowl. That was not just the kind of thing you said to your girlfriend. It was a clear implication that she didn't look good. Ron seemed to have realized what he'd said, however, as his ears turned bright red and he looked away. "I mean… You look beautiful, as always. Just you seem tired."

Hermione didn't think she looked beautiful. She was pretty, at best, but certainly not beautiful. Looking at Ginny, she couldn't help comparing herself. Her red-haired friend was tall and slender, with high cheek bones and sleek hair. Hermione, on the other hand, was short and a little chubby. Her face was round, and although she'd improved her hair greatly, it still tangled easily. She could wear heels all she wanted, she would never have the kind of figure men fell over themselves for.

All the same, she made herself smile at her boyfriend, pretending like she agreed. Every day, smiling got just a little bit harder.

The day wore on, and the four friends found themselves quickly running out of money, and energy. Deciding to head back to the Leaky Cauldron, Hermione paused, looking into the window of a shop.

It was a simple dress shop. The interior was a variety of soft brown hues, and the sign looked old. The dresses looked a bit casual, and Hermione desperately wanted to go inside. But her friends were moving on, and Hermione knew she would need to follow. She made sure to note the store hours, in case she wanted to make a return trip alone.

Harry had noticed her interest in the store, and couldn't help but wonder what made stores like that so interesting to women. Sure, he loved seeing a girl in a dress. The femininity of it was very attractive to him. But he always felt a bit worried. Ginny had never been interested in that sort of thing, preferring to wear shorts and tank tops instead.

That night, Hermione was finally able to sleep. The exhaustion of the day had worn her out. When she woke, she could remember dreaming, but couldn't remember what she'd dreamt. It was a bit irksome, because it had seemed really important when she was asleep. She tried to brush it off, but it continued to linger a bit.

The days slipped by like water, and Hermione felt herself growing more and more worried as the day she would have to return to Hogwarts drew nearer. There was an excited energy in the air, but she just couldn't connect to it the way the others had.

All too soon it was the night before they were set to return. Hermione had attempted to do the required reading for the year and found she was feeling perpetually bored and distracted. She loved to read and couldn't understand what was wrong. Sure, she'd been eating less, but she wanted to lose a few pounds before the new school year started. Her uniform had been feeling a bit tight when she tried it on, and it made her nervous.

It had been successful so far. She'd lost nearly ten pounds, and all her clothes were feeling a bit looser. It was satisfying. Sure, she hadn't been able to get her other things done, but at least this was going well.

"Hermione!" The petite brunette was roused from her thoughts by a woman's voice. Looking around, she was surprised, and not particularly pleased, to see Lavender Brown standing on the other side of the table. She'd always been a bit apprehensive of the skinny blonde. Lavender and Ron had dated for a few weeks, but that time had been very rough for Hermione. Even then, she'd loved him. Lavender hadn't given him up easily, and at the end of the war she'd tried to make a move on him. Ron had rebuffed her, however, and she'd said she'd given up. But Hermione didn't quite buy it. She'd always felt that Lavender was a bit of a tramp.

"Lavender. So good to see you." Hermione spoke the words as cheerfully as possible through clenched teeth, smiling all too falsely. A hot feeling rose up in her stomach and she wanted nothing more than to slap the leggy girl.

Hermione always felt very short in the girls dorm. All her friends were tall and slender, and those that weren't slender were still at least tall. It was a bit discouraging, and she could understand why guys hadn't paid much attention to her. Who would want to date a shrimp?

"Are you and Ron still dating, or is he free?" Hermione looked at Lavender, and saw that those sharp green eyes staring at Ron. She couldn't contain it anymore. Hermione's arm moved away from her body, and she felt the sting as her palm connected with Lavenders cheek.

Whirling away before anyone could stop her, Hermione rushed back to her room, tears already welling in her eyes.